Thursday, December 31, 2009

Ending on a good note

I got a job!

I know.

I accepted the job AFTER fully disclosing that I'm about to need some
time off to fight back against my misbehaving knockers. They want me
anyway - it was such a Sally Field moment. They are going to set me up
to work from home as needed, plus a couple of other things that made
me weep like a beauty pageant queen - smiling through tears.

As a cherry on top, I'm typing this post (slowwwwwwly) on my new
iPhone. Santa rocks.

Happy new year - hope I'm around as long as Dick Clark, eh?

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Morning smile

Read the red lettering, lower right.

It's COLD here in the smallbany area. My car says 10*. Booooo, winter. I am at Harvard on the Hudson, the windiest place around. It keeps getting better all the time. :)
Carly(via Blackberry)

Sunday, December 27, 2009

A fine spiculated mess

There is a very long story to tell, and I'm going to try to keep it short, but I tend to ramble. Sorry...


December 15th I had a followup mammogram, and then an ultrasound of what (for the sake of my sanity) I am referring to as "My Boobie". Even I could see the spot on the original mammogram that was the cause of all this 'fun', and I have to be honest that my first emotion was a giant wave of annoyance that apparently My Boobie has decided to try to kill me. But the spot seems small to me, uneducated that I am, and so I am hoping that the endless procrastination that lead to an appointment that should have been in July winding up in November was actually a good thing. Because MB might have been fine in July, or "we" might have missed it back then.

The next day brought another ultrasound of MB in order to do a needle biopsy of the spiculated cells. (In oncology, a spiculated mass is a lump of tissue with spikes or points on the surface. So I knew it wasn't just a liquid-filled cyst. It's apparently a solid lump with Goth tendencies. Fabulous.)

Did I mention that the ultrasounds were done by a very professional female technician who I strongly suspect prefers to date women? I really liked her. For some strange reason this angle made the whole thing a little more bearable. Whether it was distracting or just an amusing little quirk of life, I can't really explain it well; maybe it was a mixture of both.

The biopsy was done with a special needle that can capture some of the cells to be examined by a lab. They promised me that they would try to get the results to me.... before Christmas. I wasn't sure whether that would be great, or really bad...

The NEXT day (tests were three days right in a row, this was really a lot of tests in one week, but the goal was to keep moving to work around all of the holiday time coming up) I had an MRI of both "the girls". I sent a text to a pal of mine describing how it must look to have a side view of a woman lying on an MRI table with an opening for her boobs to hang down through. It was something like this:

--u----

So that we're clear, I am taking this seriously, but trying not to lie in my bed for hours at a time going through boxes of kleenex.

Tuesday around lunchtime I was doing errands and the doctor who had performed the needle biopsy called to tell me that I do in fact have cancer. So apparently 2009 decided that since being unemployed for months didn't break my sense of humor, well, let's toss this at her. Merry f-ing holiday season, by the way. I actually felt bad for the doctor, having to do something this shitty right before Christmas. But, that probably would have been strange to mention to her.

Tuesday afternoon was very, very bad, with phone calls to some but not all family members. I decided not to tell my kids anything for now other than "I need some tests done because there is a lump in my boobie"... that word again, but it makes them laugh and postpones any deeper questions. When I know what I actually will be doing with/ about this mess, I will tell them. My inlaws are in their 80's and I don't see the point in upsetting them now, so I haven't told them ANYTHING. They will surely be a little annoyed at me, but they're far too smart to fall for the vague stuff I told my kids.

Tuesday evening my longtime friend took me out so that I could cry in her car about not wanting to have surgery or radiation or chemo or lose my hair or, well, actually die or anything like that... and on impulse she took me for a mani/pedi. I just never really do those, I walk by the places in the mall and see the women in masks and think... "not me." But it was such a nice gesture and I thought well, maybe a little girly time will help me get through this sucky day.

The vietnamese nail tech started doing my hands and said "Your friend pay for you." I sort of smiled a bit and said "well, yes, she is treating me because I'm not having a great day." She practically pounced on me and said "Ooooh, you sick?" and saw on my face that she had me. She grabbed my hand and flipped it over. She began doing a palm reading and showing me that my lifeline is long, very long, and has a little line that hits it and doesn't go through and so that means something will happen when I'm young but I will be fine and so "No scared! Happy happy happy! Fight!" I found it a little bit surreal that my guardian angel is a running around these days disguised as a Vietnamese lady.... but, OK. Happy happy happy Fight it is.

I don't have appointments with a surgeon or oncologist yet, but I am fully prepared to see Elvis in the waiting room at one of those appointments. I also briefly considered making my sugar cookies round with an M & M in the center, since half the family in the room would be thinking about my boobies. Too weird though.

So, I think this post has gone on long enough. Girls, get a digital mammogram; screw those old cheap bastard men who came out with a recommendation recently that age 50 is soon enough. Keep up with your doctor visits. Boys, make sure your moms and wives take care of themselves.
I'm going to watch "The Hangover" again and eat lots of Christmas cookies. Toodleoooooo. I'll keep posting here, if y'all keep reading.

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Not the same but sorta

The container for broken cookies is a little but like the island of misfit toys....
Carly(via Blackberry)

Monday, December 21, 2009

Oops

So we have christmas houses and trees and stuff, and this poor guy just went to that big ceramic kiln in the sky. If I were more inclined, this tiny head could have a useful future beyond my garbage can. Alas.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Sunday, December 20, 2009

In the bleak midwinter

(Title of this post is from a song I sing in choir... )

Friends,
If you can spare a good thought for me, please send it my way.

My family of inlaws are squabbling, I'm up in the air waiting for certain people to call me back about REALLY important stuff, and I'm thinking that it would be swell to take whatever cookies I've made already and a box of wine and just go hide in an Inn for this next week or so. Alone. Or, well, with you, dear reader. But not them.

Today my mother gleefully mentioned that "( she doesn't) really have to wrap much this year". I swear to you, I had just finished wrapping the things I had bought for my kids with the check she sent me. While I am grateful for the gifts, I still had some mood adjustment requirements after hearing that.

Maybe if things go my way, or pehaps even if they don't, I will soon be able to blog about all the crazy times I had in the last week.

In the meantime, despite being done with my shopping I will be at a mall tomorrow, because how do you tell your 85 year old father in law that you don't want to help him get a gift for his "bride" (of 50+ years)....? Not that I'm patting myself on the back, mind you... I'm just hoping to buy a little bit of karma wherever it might be on sale.

Here's to leaving 2009 behind very soon, and setting a new path in a new decade. Happy christmukahhwanzaa to you and yours.

Carly(via Blackberry)

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

The scene

I can't really bear to look... But I did notice incriminating footprints leading off into the snow...
Carly(via Blackberry)

Friday, December 11, 2009

Wwtt edition 2

What were they thinking?

This is a screen grab from "spice up your kitchen. It seems like a fairly average /typical show with tips about colors and "counterscaping" (think about it )with items that are functional AND colorful.

But I can't get past this island. This is the side that the barstools will be on. (I know this from an earlier scene in the show.) So , now your visitors and children can kick the crap out of all your winebottles. D'oh.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Thursday, December 10, 2009

Rolling over

I guess I can trade this car of mine in now.

Well, probably not, given the whole "gainfully unemployed" aspect I'm enjoying (?) these days.

I may be getting an iPhone, however, in an "upgrade and swap" deal that Mr Carly has almost all figured out in his brain... Except he calls it an "iPod touch". So I almost passed on the deal! Ooopsie.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

What were they thinking, edition 1

This garland is an example of the decorationally dysfunctional people living around me.

Swaaaag. Swag. Oh hell, let's finish this and go have a beer.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Sunday, December 06, 2009

Eeeks... it's a random post

Sorry kids... if you are depending on me to entertain you, I know I am failing miserably since I haven't posted in a week.

Here are three mini - posts to make up for it, if only a tiny bit.

#1
It's been a busy week or two of avoiding any Christmas preparations whatsoever. But we had our first snow last night, so I need to get cracking.

I am plotting a getaway to go visit Suzy right before Christmas... without my kids. Heee heeee. I am also listening to Christmas CD's lately. This is rare for me; Mr. C loves them but I try to avoid the genre like the plague. I guess it's from singing hymns all fall to get ready, with the choir. I am partial to "A Dave Brubeck Christmas", and also "December" which is by Chris Botti.

This week my goal is to finish my Christmas shopping, so I can be that Annoying Girl who has everything wrapped 2 weeks before the holiday. Next week I'll bake some cooooookies and then skid out of town, hopefully.

#2
Yesterday my daughter had her first track meet. It was the first indoor track meet I have ever attended, and it was at a local community college. I walked into the gym and there were 500 people milling about, who all seemed to know exactly what was going on and where to go with themselves. Unlike, well, ME... and did I mention, there were no bleachers pulled out, since they would cover the actual track lanes? I had visions of standing from 8:30 to 1:30. Unhappy visions. Luckily by mid-morning they had put up temporary bleachers...

It took me an hour to decipher that the track was 200 meters, not 400. But at least it only took an hour, right?

#3
My daughter has a "teacher conferences" day of some sort, so no school on Tuesday, and wants me to see... new moon. This is SO not for me. I am in that 5% of the population that hasn't seen or read any Harry Potter, hasn't read any of the Twilight books, and would happily never change that. I won't even get a good nap, what with all the screaming... sigh...