Music is my love

Melody_Gardot has a new album out, My One And Only Thrill. It is now on my iPod.

So tonight when D's baseball coach yells at me, "heads up, Mrs. S, the ball is coming right at you..." I won't hear him.

Sigh....

Clicked

*

In these shoes, Stanley played Ave Maria on the church organ for me, when I converted. (I was raised Lutheran and joined the Catholic church a few years after meeting my husband.)

In these shoes, he played for the baptisms of each of my children, at a Sunday mass... and thousands of other babies, over his 55 (and counting!) years of service at our church.

In these shoes, he played on the Christmas Eve that my son was carried up the aisle, representing the Baby Jesus.

He has played for so many girls in tiny white dresses and boys in white ties, as they receive their sacrament of First Holy Communion. And yes, that includes my children.

He played for my friend's wedding. When her husband tragically died a year later, and we were all heartbroken, and the entire community came together to grieve with her, Stanley wore these shoes.

So many weddings, so many funerals, he has played, wearing these shoes.

He has played Lenten music, Tenebrae services, Easter Vigils and Easter mornings, Advent Sundays (four weeks, year after year after year) and Christmas carols at Midnight Mass, in these shoes.

In the choir loft, there are file cabinets brimming with frayed yellow sheets of paper, worn at the edges by many before me -- all songs which Stanley has played, in these shoes.

Latin masses-- I never dreamed there were so many variations.

We sing Bach, Beethoven, Schubert. German music, Russian music. Polish music, to honor the homeland of Stanley's ancestors. And, something that always amuses me, gospel music that would be very familiar in a Baptist church far south of where we stand to sing.

Yes, he has played the Hallelujah chorus. MANY times.

In these shoes, he plays Stars and Stripes Forever, and God Bless America, every Fourth of July.

May he wear them for many, many years to come.

I can't stand the rain

... is a new song on Seal's new album, Soul, which took forever to download from iTunes, but is sooooooo worth it. At first I thought it was ALL videos (I'm easily confused these days) since only the "video version" is available today, so I was bummed because unlike my children, I can't play videos on my iPod.

But there are enough songs that will go on my ANCIENT music box to be oh, so worth it. He has the perfect voice to deliver the "I wasn't ready for it to be over" blues that fill up this album. I don't know who the bandmembers are who back him up, but it better not be digital/fake because they make me want to drag my kids out to the computer to say "THIS IS WHY MOMMY MAKES YOU PRACTICE."

My other two favorite songs so far are If You Don't Know Me By Now, and I've Been Loving you Too Long. And, well, It's Alright, and Knock on Wood. And Here I am.... click, people. Buy it.

Then wander on over here to read the bio where I found the awesome photo above.

I can't stand the rain

against my window

bringing back sweet memories

'Cause you're not here with me....

We shall be free

Instead of just reminding you to vote, I'll let Garth speak for me today, as I think he says it best...here WHY you should vote...

This ain't comin' from no prophet
Just an ordinary man
When I close my eyes I see
The way this world shall be
When we all walk hand in hand

When the last child cries for a crust of bread
When the last man dies for just words that he said
When there's shelter over the poorest head
Then we shall be free

When the last thing we notice is the color of skin
And the first thing we look for is the beauty within
When the skies and the oceans are clean again
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
So, have a little faith and hold out
'Cause we shall be free

When we're free to love anyone we choose
When this world's big enough for all different views
When we're all free to worship
From our own kind of pew
Then we shall be free

We shall be free
We shall be free
We shall be free
Stand straight, walk proud
'Cause we shall be free

And when money talks for the very last time
And nobody walks a step behind
When there's only one race and that's mankind
Then we shall be free

(go here to listen to Garth Brooks sing this.... and yes, it's country....)

Love Lockdown

Edit: they deleted the video. Must be some pesky copyright issues.

New Kanye video on Ellen (technically, the video's on Perez) will stick in your head but goood

See if you can happen to figure out my favorite line... ;-)

Verse 2:
I'm not lovin' you, way I wanted to
I can't keep my cool, so I keep it true
I got somethin to lose, so I gotta move
I can't keep myself, and still keep you too
So I keep in mind, when I'm on my own
Somewhere far from home, in the danger zone
How many times did I take 'fore I finally got through
you lose, you lose
I'm not lovin you, way I wanted to
See I had to go, see I had to move
No more wastin' time, you can't wait for life
which is wastin' time, where's the finish line

Chorus:
So keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Now keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Now keep ya love locked down, you lose...



Verse 3:
I'm not lovin you, way I wanted to
I bet no one new, I got no one new
I know I said I'm through, but got love for you
But I'm not lovin' you, way I wanted to
Gotta keep it goin', keep the lovin' goin'
Keep it on a roll, only God knows
If I be with you, baby I'm confused
You choose, you choose
I'm not lovin' you, way I wanted to
Where I want to go, I don't need you
I've been down this road, too many times before
I'm not lovin' you, the way I wanted to



Chorus:
So keep ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Keepin ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Now ya love locked down, ya love locked down
Now ya love locked down, you lose,...you lose,
...you lose,...you lose,...you lose

C'mon

Today started out crappy and cloudy and moody. I bailed work at lunchtime, and used some vacation hours to go home for a nap. When I got up (oops, 2:oo) I had some hot food and sat on my porch in the sunshine for a while, and I actually feel not bad now. I just want to stop hurting. I am hoping not to need MORE surgery, but who the eff knows. I won't find out about what the CAT scan showed for a couple of days.

Since Johnny V called me a "cugar" (via IM) today for being a Phelps Phan, I'll move on to discuss the news that Keith Andersen has a new cd out.

I met him briefly at a country music festival, and from what I observed, Keith is more than a little fresh with the younger ladies. I'll leave it at that. So it was a little bit of a disconnect to know that he can write such beautiful songs, like "I'll know when I get there"*, which moves me every time I listen to it. What can I say? I'm a sucker for a good piano ballad.

He's done it again, co-writing 10 of the disc’s 11 tracks on C'mon, including a song "Lost in this Moment With You" that's so nice that my non- country- music- fan friend almost chose it for her first dance at her upcoming wedding. It's hard to believe such a damn pretty face can be so sentimental, but someone must have ripped his heart out and stomped on it at one point (refer to "I still miss you".... and "I ain't hurting nobody but me")

I haven't had the cd very long so right now I am liking Sugarland's newest one more. But it's growing on me.

*
For a chance to sing, I'd do anything,
And it feels like I've lost everything.
I just gotta believe it's down that road somewhere,
'Cause I'll know when I get there, yeah.

I don't know if it's worth it. And I don't know if I'm good enough.
All I know is I'm givin' it all I've got.
And I'll know when I get there.

Buy it

If you are a country music fan, buy Sugarland's new CD, and make sure to get the bonus tracks, because Wishing and Fall Into Me are SO worth it. I don't have the capacity for a proper review right about now, but hey, you can get that right on iTunes.

I have other songs I want to buy, like more Jason Mraz and Shattered (turn the car around) and Madly and Poly says Hold Steady, so I have to check that out... I've got so much catching up to do.

by the way

...the cheery song was by jack Johnson and you can hear it here

How my day went

Everyone laughed at her joke

As if they'd never even heard it before

And maybe they were truly amused

But every word that she spoke was a bore

And maybe it's because they had seen

The previews on the TV screen

Well this part is good and that's well understood

So you should laugh if you know what I mean

But it's all relative

Even if you don't understand

Well it's all understood

Especially when you don't understand

Then it's all just because

Even if we don't understand

Then let's all just believe

Everyone knows what went down

Because the news was spread all over town

And fact is only what you believe

And fact and fiction work as a team

It's almost always fiction in the end

That content begins to bend

When context is never the same

And it's all relative

Even if we don't understand

And it's all understood

Especially when we don't understand

Then it's all just because

Even if we don't understand

Then lets all just believe

I was reading a book

Or maybe it was a magazine

Suggestions on where to place faith

Suggestions on what to believe

But I read somewhere

That you've got to beware

You can't believe anything you read

But the good Book is good

And it's all understood

So don't even question

If you know what I mean

But it's all relative

Even if you don't understand

Well it's all understood

Especially when you don't understand

And it's all just because

Even if we don't understand

Then lets all just believe

But there you go once again

You missed the point and then you point

Your fingers at me

And say that I said not to believe I believe

I guess

I guess it's all relative

Shania

After reading this I have to say that since it was Shania who gave us "It only hurts when I breathe" (1) and "I'm jealous" (2) will surely put out some amaaaaaaaaaaaazing songs once she gets over Mutt.

(1)
And it only hurts when I'm breathing
My heart only breaks when it's beating
My dreams only die when I'm dreaming
So, I hold my breath--to forget


(2)
If I were the moon, I could catch your eye
I'm jealous of the moon
If I were the wind, I would make you fly
I'm jealous of that too



Some people get it, some never will. When I'm in a bad place, and I hear a song that nails just how I'm feeling, it's comforting to know that someone else understands exactly what that feels like.

Dusting off Irving Berlin

Today I sang God Bless America at communion time, with the woman who is the cantor all summer long. I was really happy with how it went; some days I feel like I sing like crap, but this was definitely NOT one of those days. The song is one of my favorite songs to sing there too.

Alleluia

Yesterday was our last performance together at mass, now that it's "summer" according to the Stanley calendar (well, to be precise, yesterday was Pentecost, so we are done)

We sing a song for communion called "Alleluia", by Randall Thompson . A harsh critic would point out that we just sing "alleluia" over and over (about 60 times...)

To me, it's like standing in a rainstorm. The first few drops (notes) fall quietly, and then more and more join in as it builds. The notes rise and fall in some amazing harmonies and at the height of the storm we've got parts moving in every direction and you'd better be counting and paying attention to get it right.

Then just as it increased, it begins to settle down; the notes slow and return gradually to only a quiet "Amen".

I always hate it when choir is over for the summer.

(you can get a little snip of the song here if you use Real Player )

Digging a Ditch

Digging a Ditch
Run to your dreaming when you're alone
Unplug the TV and turn off your phone
Get heavy on with digging your ditch
Cause I'm
Digging a ditch where madness gives a bit
Digging a ditch where silence lives
Digging a ditch for when I'm old
Digging this ditch my story's told
Where all these troubles weigh down on me will rise
Run to your dreaming when you're alone
Where all these questions spinning round my head will die, will die, will die
Run to your dreaming when you're alone
Unplug the TV and turn off your phone
Get heavy on with digging your ditch
Cause I'm
Digging a ditch where madness gives a bit
Digging a ditch where silence lives
Digging a ditch for when I'm through
Digging this ditch I'm digging for you
Where all these worries wear down on me will rise
Where all these habits pull heavy at my heart will die
Run to your dreaming when you're alone
Not what you should be or what you've become
Just get heavy on with digging your ditch
Cause I'm
Digging a ditch where madness gives a bit
Digging a ditch where silence lives
Where all these disappointments that grow angry out of me will rise
Will die, will die, will die
Run to your dreaming when you're alone
Unplug the TV and turn off your phone
Get heavy on with digging your ditch

People bug me today. Hmmph.

I'm tired of some of the "stuff" at school that I'm dealing with, and tired of wondering if I'll still have a job at the end of this year. Today at the function I had to run for school there was a whole buzz about the latest gossip and people fishing for what I know and what I think about it all. Tapdancing, all evening. Because I can't say what I think and all of the reasons why. People think it's so desirable to be "in the know". I don't want to know "stuff." I wish I didn't.

Tired of wondering what certain people are thinking and if certain problems I'm having are my fault because I don't explain myself well sometimes. Tired of questioning my own judgement, and whether I'm too emotional; tired of second guessing things I would like to say, emails I would like to send.

Tired. Tired of not feeling good and not sleeping well and of not liking how I look or feel. Tired of resolving to do something about all of that, and falling short because I'm sucked back into habits and just that whole "being human" thing.


I want to go off in a kayak and paddle out into the long quiet part of the lake, and feel the sun on my face, and watch the dragonflies skim over the water, and look up at the trees and the sky.

Bleeding Love

Not sure if you caught Leona Lewis on Idol tonight. My kid has liked her for a couple of weeks now and so the song is stuck in my head for good. Here's her giant face on the front of Virgin Records in Times Square (that's Mariah's foot over her head)

What, you thought this post wouldn't be about the city? sorry...

This Fish

So in lieu of an actual status report, I will provide an update via song, with apologies to Faith and all of the songwriters in the world who posess actual talent at writing lyrics...

This Fish (tune from This Kiss, as recorded by Faith Hill)

(v1)
I don’t want another headache
I don’t need another kid to cry
I don’t want to learn the hard way
Poor fish: oh, no, goodbye

Tries to swim up to the surface
Sinks right back down the bowl!

(chorus)
It’s the way he's floating
He's flopped over like THIS
It’s the lack of motion
It’s a sickly fish
It’s that pivotal moment
It’s impossible
This fish, this fish (so flushable)
This fish this fish

(v2)
Ariel said to Nemo
How do fish die overnight?
All I wanted was a goldfish
With a small bowl, air pump, fake plants

Drive me off to the pet store
Mommy has to buy some more...

(repeat chorus)

You can feed him in the daylight
(But not too much or he will die)
You can feed him in the nighttime
(Not too much or he will die)
Feed him in sweet slow motion
Smelly flakes fall from the sky

The Fish is floating, you overfed him!

(repeat chorus)
This fish, this fish (it's criminal)
This fish, this fish....

Tenebrae

Our choir sang tonight; every year we do a special performance on the evening of Palm Sunday which is an adaptation of a Tenebrae service.

It's one of my favorite times to sing, because we do very complex pieces that we start practicing right after Christmas and not to brag, but we do them really well. Ok, that's bragging.

I still feel like the new kid after five years; many of these people have sung together for 30 + years. They are awesome, and I continue to learn more and more about reading music and singing.

(Pange Lingua was my favorite this year:

Pange lingua gloriosi Corporis mysterium, sanguinisque prestiosi, quem in mundi prestium fructus ventris generosi Rex effudit Gentium.

Tantum ergo sacramentum veneremur cernui et antiquum documentum novo cedat ritui praestet fides supplementum sensuum defectui.

The verses correspond to Sing, my tongue, the Savior's glory; but the arrangement we use is very different. It's nothing like the melody of what you might sing in English. It's also much much slower, four part harmony, very meditative, and monklike. Click on the link above, to see the music and hear a midi approximation of the sound. )

The service itself involves readings and progressively extinguishing candles until the church is in complete darkness. The last song we sing before darkness is "God so loved the world". Unlike some Tenebrae services, we don't stop there. In the dark we sing "Because He Lives" and slowly the lights come back on. It's a beautiful, hopeful ending.

I've been sick (hasn't everyone?) and I am happy to report my voice is fully back (as good as it gets, hah) and the singing went very smoothly for me tonight. My goal is to conserve my voice this week. I'll take Thursday and Friday off and sleep in, and recline on the couch sipping tea.

Now if only I could push a certain Icky choir member over the rails so he would stop trying to conduct us all... sometimes he gets started and I just hold up my sheet music so I don't have to look...

Monday musings

EDIT: Top Ten Messages Left On Eliot Spitzer's Answering Machine
(from Late Show with David Letterman: LINK )
10. Hey, what's new?
9.It's Barack Obama. Remember our conversation about being my running mate? Nevermind.
8.Ralph Nader here, glad to hear I'm not the only politician who has to pay for it
7.I'm calling from the 'New York Post.' Would you rather be known as 'Disgraced Gov Perv' or 'Humiliated Whore Fiend'?
6.This is John McCain, if it makes you feel better, I once got caught having sex with Lincoln's wife
5.It's Dr. Phil, call me if you need any horse**** advice
4.This is Senator Larry Craig. Do you ever go through the Minneapolis airport?
3.It's Wolf Blitzer. Call me if you ever want a hot Spitzer-Blitzer three-way
2.Paris Hilton here. I would have done it for free
#1 ... It's Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks, I'm no longer America's creepiest governor

I can't wait to hear Letterman's top ten list about Elliot Spitzer hiring a hooker.*(#3 is my favorite) Somewhere, Monica Lewinsky is updating her myspace page. I'll leave it at that.

I don't want to go to the PTA meeting tonight. Buckle up! Three to go!!!

I have to chaperone a FIELD TRIP tomorrow, people. Three teenagers in my car. I have already been instructed to act cool. As in, I can not be myself and grunt "Eh eh eh" in a Fat Albert voice when One Republic's song starts. I probably shouldn't cuss either. It will be a long day.

My southern belle friends are bailing me out big time with a recipe for my kid's state(Georgia) for the Learning Fair. Because it's not enough to write a paper and make a poster and make the bottle person of your famous person and then dress up like that famous person (or another one if you picked cross gender for your bottle person - heh) . You also have to make FOOD for the other Mommies and Daddies who are all turning out that evening to admire one another's projects. I mean, our children's big projects. So, maybe peach cobbler or red velvet cake.

The voice of mine is not really right. This "cold" thing is not at a good time for me. I have rehearsal Thursday (not likely I'll be able to sing by then but our snowbird is back from Florida so we have to go through all of the songs again FOR HIM TO LEARN HIS PART.... grrr... so I can cruise that evening. Because, I've been showing up since January, y'all.) I have another rehearsal saturday night because on Palm sunday we sing in the morning at then again in the evening.

After the Learning fair I have a rehearsal. This is the "bring food, water, and sleeping bag" rehearsal as we have pieces to run through for the remainder of the week.

Then I have to sing Thursay, Friday, Saturday (Easter Vigil, I am almost definitely going to have to do a short solo psalm since there are several) and then Easter Sunday. None of us will want to look at each other by then. Yay, happy Easter, can I please go home now? I will be hoarse.

Good times.

Wouldn't wanna do her laundry

Ms. Carrie Underwood. She's beautiful. Extremely talented singer.

She did all of her hits, and then some. We had great seats as you can see. My one complaint - toooo many costume changes tonight.

I *know* that she probably never messes up when she sings in church ;-)

But Suzy agreed, too many changes (there were at least 3 other outfits not shown here.)

At the end, confetti shoots out of big machines near the stage. The security guard had told a dad near us with a very small child that the "gun" would make a really loud noise. It didn't. Suzy and I sat with our fingers in our ears for the last half of the song (Before He Cheats, of course) because we were literally five feet from it, and then we felt stupid when the big noise wasn't much of a noise at all....

Tired... going to sleep.

Keep your Eagle's Wings

No Sunday art today. Well, art in musical form this week.

Ahem.

I am NOT a fan of the hymn "On Eagle's Wings". It's pretty much a standard at our church; we sing it every couple of months. I stand there in the back row and pretend to sing while secretly rolling my eyes and not really singing it much.

I would much rather sing Veni Jesu, Amor Mi. (Come to me, oh Jesus my love.) This music is close, but I have an OLD copy... which is part of why I like it so much. Click here to hear it. (Scroll down, look for Soundbyte... I'm not quite hearing my alto part though, so it's a slightly different arrangement.)

The photo I've put in this post is the other song I did this morning(Jesu, Salvator Mundi); something about singing in latin is so much more elegant and reverent to me. I can't wrap my feelings around some of the cheesy english lyrics I have to sing now & then. Thanks, no thanks.

Although, I must add, I enjoy the older gospel stuff that Stanley has us sing fairly often. (ex: Precious Lord, Take My Hand which I really REALLY LOVE) I think it's the "contemporary" pieces I just find squidgy. Sorry... not trying to offend anyone.

Incidentally, I love http://www.sheetmusicplus.com/ I've gotten a fair amount of music from them. We get handed photocopies of some of the older arrangements we use, like the one above, but I try to buy sheet music if I can get it, to keep for my own small but growing collection. I've really got to get back to teaching myself the piano, AFTER PTA.

Eagle's wings? Great with buffalo sauce.