So I got to meet a young up and coming politician from this area who had no interest in talking to me whatsoever, because I am not a rich old man who will donate to his campaign.
My son wanted several items. There was a basketball signed by a pro - $900. Um. That is not a typo. So. No. Then he wanted a stereo. $150. The problem was that he just wanted to buy SOMETHING. Finally we found a silent auction item that was a gift card and a sports tote bag and that made him happy.
Later in the evening during the live auction he wanted to bid on a tour of one of the local tv stations, and immediately after his first bid he was outbid. He wilted and was devastated. The lady bidding against him noticed and told the auctioneer, "stop, you're giving it to me for what I just bid and I'm giving it to this kid. No more bids." He blinked, and then did exactly that, so it was awesome. I missed all of this. Arrrgh.
So then my son spent about 20 minutes talking to this lady and she could not stop laughing because my son is pretty hilarious when he's happy and excited, and he was over the moon about what she had done for him. He has always been pretty personable and converses easily with adults. (But it was very cool, a photographer took his picture during the cocktail hour, and asked his name, and he said "Uh, you better ask my mom." My kid is smart.)
Whenever I go to a dinner like this I buy the stick-on nails that have a french manicure design. I can't be bothered to go with the "real" acrylic nails - plus they are insanely expensive. Usually no one is the wiser. The press-on ones look nice, at the end of the night I take them off and I can go back to all of the typing I do on my blackberry and computers and not be aggravated by long nails. Last night they weren't staying on really well - the water in the restrooms was scalding hot and I washed my hands and then they felt really loose. It's hard being gorgeous, y'all. Costs too much money to do it right.
Right after dinner, but before the mad rush for the chocolates table (it is covered in desserts donated by various restaurants in the area) a professional dance team performed to one song. They were quite good, fun to watch. Apparently they compete and have titles and so on and... I didn't read that part of the program. But they were great.
Later in the evening they paired up with other people at the event. They guy danced with my sister in law, and then she pointed him at me. Oh, crap. By that time, over the course of the evening I had two glasses of champagne and at least 3 glasses of pinot grigiot. Ooops.
So this wonderful unsuspecting man is trying to lead me through some ballroom dancing, and I can feel him trying to give me cues by the way he's twirling my hand in his, and giving me nudges on the waist with his other hand.
There were just a few problems:
- I can't dance. Don't know how.
- I can't dance. I am not a quick study.
- See above, my alcohol intake was perhaps 500% of his.
- Every time he changed his grip on my hand to lead me into a different step, I had this momentary panic that one of my nails would pop right off in his hand.
- He moved FAST. I could barely keep up, and could not actually breathe.
- Family members laughing and pointing at me
- Nervous laughter on my part, due to all of the above items. Pretty much constant.
- I can't dance!
I was winded, because this guy really moves around, and from all of the laughing. It's not fun dancing backwards in high heels. Later my brother in law and I danced to songs like "Knock on wood" and yes, I am old.
Good times....I am sore today. I think I pulled muscles I didn't know I had. No, wait, I am old.
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