March-ing

Hey. It's spring. Why is there still SNOW????

First, a few words about my previous post. If you read my blog regularly, you know I volunteer at the NICU where Suzy works. I'm a very small part of a March of Dimes program, and my role is helping the parents make scrapbooks of their babies' first days.

I'm very proud of my sister and what she does. She is very skilled, (got great grades in college) and she also puts her heart into her work. If you could only see the beautiful memorial books she creates for the hospital to give to families who lose their child.... well, you'd know what I mean. Each one is filled with delicate images of fairies and dragonflies and flowers and nature, and the familes absolutely cherish them. There are places for tiny footprints, locks of hair, notes from people who helped care for the child, and so on. Every one is unique.

You can open your heart, and bond with some of your patients and their families, and help them, without losing yourself and having it turn into "too involved", such that it burns you out. Sometimes, forming those bonds that can be a very beautiful thing. Humbling, a bit. I'm humbly gratified that the family whose loss inspired my previous post found what I wrote to be of some comfort to them.

My life is still very much a work in progress. My whole purpose in starting this blog was "oh my gosh, I'm going to be 40... I need to figure out how to be comfortable with who I am (things I wish I'd done differently in my past) and figure out what I want for my future."

Right now the future, specifically, that I'm concerned with is that of my job, because while it has some great benefits, also has some giant headaches and uncertainty. I really have no idea what to do about that, or what career I'd switch to if I were to switch(it could be my choice, or not). And of course, money is always an issue or I wouldn't be working in the first place. So I will continue to march in place, and try to do the best I can to take advantage of opportunities I see.

I wish I had more time to do things like the MoD program. Most days, I am overwhelmed. I very often feel like I don't know what to do first; I see things sitting waiting to be finished, every place that I look. Sometimes the Mom guilt wins out, and I push aside things I want to do for myself. Not good!

I am still working toward my goal of running the 5K. It's slow going at this point (93 days away!!!) I realize now I may not "run" the entire thing, but I will run some, walk the rest... and next year I'll run more of the course.

Well, as I said, it's spring and my house is a mess. Time to clean. (big sigh)