We can also discuss the cupcakes - I made frosting that was more like some chocolate milk so we injected it into the middle of the chocolate cupcakes. I broke out a can of frosting and we went on...
The last thing we made was cheesecake pops - melonballs of baked cheesecake, chilled on parchment paper, rolled in Graham cracker crumbs and shaped round. Then dipped in melted chocolate. Oh baby. Even I likes those.
Sherwin Williams - Paint Chips from Buck on Vimeo.
Then she left at 7am today to drive to her house, so very far away... It makes me sad.
I have fallen three times in the last two weeks. I tripped over a curb because it was snowing and I had a few things in my hands, and landed on one knee- the stuff I was holding somehow hit the ground before my hands did - saved me and absorbed some of the impact. Then I slipped in the lobby at work Monday because it was sleeting so my feet were wet, and they had polished the tiles, and I crashed down on the OTHER knee.
Today going out of my house I looked back in because someone said something to me, and I missed a step and fell backwards down a small flight of stairs. I somehow caught one of the railing posts and managed not to kill myself. I hardly ever manage a ninja move like that- -it was awesome but I did still hit with a crash, it just wasn't MY HEAD.
So I decided later to take my moody sad self for a walk - and ow. My leg ached.
When I saw this net sinking into the melting ice, it summed up how I was feeling about some stuff. The end of the season. It's sad.
(Especially during Madness when many athletes are playing their final games - and my son plays his final cyo basketball game tomorrow. Six years of games. Oy. )
Speaking of the tsunami.... Words fail me. Over 9,500 people may be dead in one region alone? Staggering. Makes me so profoundly sad, but deeply grateful for the roof over my head, the dirty dishes in my sink from feeding my family, the clothes I can wash if I get off my lazy tookus... Too many people don't appreciate how good their normal daily life is until it's cracked apart by cancer or fire and rain.
At any rate, I haven't really taken enough photos for this week, so for Sunday Art I will share with you something I got out of a very cool newsletter. Between this (Brainpickings) and Pat's Papers I am trying to get some new ideas into my brain.
I swear, I've played the first few notes of 3.14 a time or two on the piano... It seemed so familiar.
Check out this post: http://www.brainpickings.org/index.php/2011/03/10/what-pi-sounds-like/
Every day I take my tamoxifen and promise myself I am going to try to live for a very long time. Unfortunately right now my memory is crappy and I was finding myself struggling to remember whether I had taken it each day. I tried setting a daily alarm on my iphone just about the time those started to not work. (That was pretty funny, actually.) So I went old school with this pillbox. It's ugly but effective.
This is taken with a new iPhone camera app, called genius. It can do a wide range of adjustments including add flash (brightens AND whitens in one step) and effects like this one (1970). I liked the combination of this clunky old so-not-modern pillbox with the crackled yellowing photo style.
I 'only' have to take tamoxifen for five years. Well, actually, four and a half years now. Right? Right.
Next I get to go see the surgeon to find out if this "lump of scar tissue" is a new and very unwelcome tumor or if this "tumor" is just a lump of scar tissue that is more than welcome to stay if it just behaves. Long enough sentence? It has been a long enough wait since the letter from the radiologist, which had phrases like "findings which are probably benign". A long wait - the kind where you don't want to make something more real by worrying aloud to someone else about it. Good lonely fun.
Mr. Carly, who saw the letter, swears the surgeon said something about marking her work and needing to read the images herself because no one else would know what she did where. And this is the spot with the Incredible Bursting Hematoma and the margins I had to have redone and all the good times that come with visiting nurses and open wounds.
I would hope that if it WERE a new tooomah I'd already be getting ultrasounds and more giant hollow needles shoved into me. A funny thing to hope for.
But...I have a crappy track record as far as assessing my situation. I believed the "we just need to redo images" line from 14 months ago that started this all. I believed that it wasn't cancer even as they were tunneling in with a long needle to diagnose what kind of cancer it was. I believed that I could probably get away with no chemo. And we know how that worked out.
I'm sooo not wanting to get back on the Cancer Merry-go-round. MY SISTER IS HAVING A BABY. Do you hear me, universe? I want to tickle fat baby legs this spring, not do j-drains and reconstructive surgery. I have no wish whatsoever for more chemo and chicken soup. I never want to eat chicken soup again, thank you very fucking much.
So I'm on the edge of panic, and hoping I don't take a really steep fall again. Good times.
You might tear up a little because you have been looking forward to this night for quite some time.
At a reception before the game you get interviewed by tv reporters and try to articulate how it feels to be there. The producer with the mike is smiling at you and saying "it's ok, you can do it" when your mind goes blank and you have to start over... (And your mind goes blank again when you see one of your favorite nurses from radiation and you can't remember her name but she understands, and assures you that it can take a year or so for some people to stop having trouble remembering names...)
The coach is making her way around the reception and she gives you a big hug and talks about the inspiration the team draws from this event and these women being recognized as survivors... and you think "Wait... Me?"
Suddenly the game is about to start. The stands are filling up despite the heavy snow that is still coming down. You are dancing to the band because they are awesome and waving to your family in the crowd. Suddenly it's your turn to be announced and a tall, beautiful young athlete leans down to hug you and says "congratulations!" and then escorts you through the arch of waving pom poms. The crowd is applauding and you are crying happy tears as you high five your way down the line of players and coaches stretched across the court.
Awesome.
There was a little girl sitting in the chair next to me, her wet hair in a braid. She was there to donate her hair to Locks for Love, but a major attack of nerves had set in.
Her hairdresser is a pal of mine, so I kind of whispered "can I talk to her?" and pulled out my iPhone. I still have a bunch of the photos I took last summer on it.
I pulled up the picture of me VERY bald wearing my "the chemo made me do it" tshirt and talked to her just for a minute about how a little girl would feel to be sick and bald. (I think I used the word sucks... I'm so sorry, Her-mom)
She got it together long enough to say yes, and Suzy chopped quickly and then it was done. We cheered for her. She looked at me, and said "thank you for encouraging me". Melt!
I found out later that she is seven years old
Dear Wii developers, the tiny circle of map you show me sucks. I need a better idea of which way to go. Like to be able to see THIS type of map and where I am and which way I'm headed. A guided course would be less frustrating, and a nice alternative to the "hunt the flags" game.
The funniest part is if you throw yourself off a cliff or into water in despair, you instantly get placed back by the last flag you achieved. It might be halfway back around that damn volcano...but there you'll be, with your son snickering and your daughter saying "are you DONE yet?"
Then, even having your glasses off, you won't be able still to make believe you really ARE on that island.
I also played solitaire for a while and wished I had a way to install Angry Birds. But our IT group wisely never told us the security code for the wireless router in our test lab. And this snazzy little snakeskin clad number does NOT know there is any wifi, no way, no how. :::sob:::
You can see the reflection of the skylight over my desk (the other day snow was blowing in via some wayward seam and filtering down ON MY DESK but I was out, getting my girls squished in the name of good health. Yay me!!! Six months since my cancer treatments finished!!!)
Couldn't find it later when I wanted it so I made up my own. A hit for the kids- glued to commercial (candy bar then points for commercial with the elements combining in your square...most points at end of game got an iTunes gift card. ... It was a shoe in for kid w movie/ famous actor - that was dumb of me. But luck for him, since they didnt see the categories while writing their names thanks to two whole sheets of paper. And cats? WTF was I thinking? I wrote down some of the categories I missed or that sucked, to improve it next year (I had sized it based on how many kids were coming and this isn't the final version... I took electronics out and that was bad...)
Lastly, a few comments. No cheerleaders, and two teenage boys at mi casa. Hahahaha especially no DALLAS cheerleaders. Kind of a shame really.
Black eyed peas- love /hate (I like their older stuff better)but why does NFL always totally suck their sound quality for game show? Geeez really.
Xtina is an alto and that glee chick I can't stand is clearly a soprano. Get over your ego and trade songs. It would have been so much better.
We skyped most of the game with my cousins in Tennessee and it was so awesome because the boys (mine, hers) had a giant bet and they are merciless gloaters.
Ugh. I'm parched and I gotta go to work. (hey, I got a raise! They like me!!! Yahoo!)
I made this awesome cheese fondue (yep, beer in it) and confirmed that people will NOT voluntarily eat veggies even slathered in cheese. Most of the cheese and bread are gone, but half the veggies- hmmmm. On the plus side I know what I'm having for dinner!!
I baked a second pan of brownies at the last minute and it went totally weird. Didn't set right at all; then we tried to rebake and the middle puffed up while the outer edges burned. Fumble!! To the trash.
I am going to our school's catholic schools week mass today. I have been going to these every year for about 12 years, between my two kids, and this is the last one.
A year ago, I couldn't go. I was up early and ( one of my surgical incisions opened and blood everywhere and yuck and ) I ended up in an ambulance to the ER where I was then admitted to chill with some iv antibiotics for a day or two.
So while I am happy I at least get to BE THERE I am sad, last one, omg kidsaregettingsobig. When my son leaves the school in June, (lord this is so petty but) I will effectively lose a bunch of friends that I just won't see anymore because we will all be busy with crazy teenagers.
When my daughter graduated, I tried to put together a monthly 'moms and or dads get together at someone's house night' and it never got off the ground.
So I am trying to work through my OWN feelings of leaving a school I have been heavily involved in (and the love/hate of volunteering is still going strong) and trying to help my kid get through a year that I am finding has been one where a culture of bullying has emerged, which the faculty is now trying to stamp out.
And it's only going to get harder from here.
In five years (not even) both of my kids will be IN COLLEGE. Possibly away from home, but I kind of doubt that since I don't even know how I'm going to pay for it in the first place, even around here, much less far away.
And my sister is going to have a baby, in the spring. In another city, an eight hour drive away. Which means I will not be the third person to kiss that new darling face. Or the fourth, fifth... I don't even think I'll be in the first ten.
I know the antidote to these feelings is to stop dreading the future and make fun plans to look forward to.
Yet I can't help wanting time to slow down or stop because I feel like it is rushing to a point where I am going to be very alone. My mother dropped a remark about how when you get older you really don't go anywhere and I'm terrified that I will slide into her state (is it agoraphobia or just later life?)
Funk. I hate this funk.
So I bundled up and walked around my favorite park alone. It let me mull a few things over.
One of the Droids has become very spiteful to me and it was pretty bad Tuesday. Sarcastic remarks all day long, with a cheap shot just before he left for the day. I've worked from home a few times because of snow lately. If my kids have a two hour delay I stay home to make sure they actually get the bus. And the other day I felt lousy and so Ii decided to WFH again. So Wednesday the alpha male Droid who tries to boss everyone around said to me "will you be in tomorrow?" Caught off guard, I nodded. "oh, two days in a row, huh ?" Dick.
It's crap like that which makes me want to leave. I want my own cubicle again so I don't feel like I'm being watched. Add the other guy's ranting and raving about random news things or his imagined slights and persecution at the hands of our manager. I really like guy #3 the best because he is quietly oblivious and doesn't bug me. But I got a raise, don't know how much yet. Yay me! One crazy year as a temp under my belt. Now what?
Above is a photo that will show you what I was working with... Enough sense to wear boots on a single- digit temp day... But not to close my front door. Ugh. Or, Ugg of course!
Wait. Also, I will buy you a super cool camera someday. By then it will be something that takes a 3d image all around you. And when you look at pictures it will really be just like being there. And not in that tortured 'slide show in the church fellowship hall' sort of way. If you don't know what that means, go ask someone old.
In an interesting development, my nephew, who was discuss with albinism, seems to be getting more pigment in his eyes. Can you outgrow that? I was very confused by my sister in law's explanation. His eyes are still lousy as far as vision quality - he will head butt his sister all the time (by accident) trying to see the screen when we 'bake a cake' on my iPhone. He loves that app. And I love him.
Getting up too early on a freezing cold day makes me cranky. I need hot tea! Plenty of it.
Sleepy Smooches,
Carly
Happy new year, y'all.
If you're familiar with Tim Holtz, who designs for Ranger (a company that sells stamps, inks and other products), this is a variation on his 12 tags of Christmas project. The trees are wood but the main tag is made of Tim's "grunge paper" - it doesn't tear, and it takes things like acrylic or crackle paint, ink, and mod podge glue and doesn't just crumble.
Now I have to clean up the mess...
I'm working at my art table. These need a lot more but I'm having fun. Except I really don't think I stirred my crackle paint enough. Oopsie.
I have the next five days off and there will be lots of family, food, and basketball. And at least a little wine.
Yesterday was the one year anniversary of the phone call from the doctor who had done my first biopsy. Not happy memories. After googling "invasive lobular carcinoma" that day, I read a phrase something like "x percent of patients live five years" and sobbed. It's not long enough. I wouldn't be able to see my kids graduate from college or get married or have THEIR kids, if that's all I had. So I crumbled, alone in my house. A whole state away, my sister woke from a sound sleep after her night shift and called me.
Last Christmas eve I cried while I sang at mass. I was frightened and I could see people I know holding their new grandson down below me in the pews, which broke my heart. I was trying to keep anyone from noticing me because I didn't want to ruin anyone else's holiday, which seems silly but how do you answer "merry Christmas" with "I have cancer" ?
While I was sick my children grew taller but also much more independent. Cooking. Arranging rides to their sports and other activities. So much has changed over the past year, and it's almost like some of it happened to somebody else. I try to shake the ghosts of last December off, and I do pretty well, except for at lunchtime yesterday when I was telling a couple of people I eat with now about the whole phone call and the days that followed.
I'm kind of exhausted right now, so I am going to finish up this post, but let me assure you that I will be SO happy to hang a new calendar on the wall.
The photo also doesn't show the two kinds of fudge I made (chocolate and a chocolate/ white combo with candy cane bits mixed in) or the almond flavored dough that is still sitting in my fridge waiting for time in the oven.
It also doesn't show the hours I spent *not* thinking about that "other c-word", cancer. Like, hours and hours - (easily the longest stretch in a year) of pure normal. I was delightfully distracted, and just baking and being in the moment with our friends and all the kids (we ended up with six kids PLUS my own two) and spending time on a Skype call with Suzy to admire her growing baby belly.
C *is* for cookie (say it with me), that's good enough for me.
I don't eat many cookies during the year but my Danish recipes come out every December. Margarine just WILL NOT DO. Real butter, unsalted, to make extra sweet cookies. The best part about this particular batch is that since it contains no egg, I can sneak over to the refrigerator and break some off. Nom nom nom.
This time last year my own personal atom bomb was creeping up on me. The day I received my cancer diagnosis I had other cookie dough started; it would go from fridge to freezer to garbage can over a period of about 2-3 weeks.
I feel a little bit overwhelmed by the thought of making cookies this year. I'm not sure why; maybe a little bit of it is the extra time and effort - I still get tired fairly easily. But I know that I'm also still feeling the echoes of last year's sucker punch.
Given my holiday track record (see: diagnosis of cancer two days before Christmas eve), when I had to wait out the thanksgiving holiday to get the test results I couldn't help but assume that I do in fact have that stupid gene mutation. It was starting to feel Deja vu to me... Going for tests alone, because I didn't want to ask someone to give up free time at such a busy point in the year, to accompany me.
Time dragged on and I found myself FINALLY waiting outside the doctor's office this morning. Sweating, and trying to unwind that familiar knot in my stomach.
I went in and waited a while amidst other patients. It was humbling; it always is. I always feel particularly guilty when I see an older person and wonder how badly chemo is kicking THEIR ass. Somehow I feel bad for getting through with a minimum of chaos along the way.
Finally someone brought me in the back to a conference room. I waited and waited some more and thought I might have to go find that folder myself before I I lost my mind.
At last the doctor appeared at the door - and pointed at me, said "I'll be right in," and LEFT AGAIN. She had the papers in her hand. Sweet monkey.
When she FINALLY came back a few minutes later it wasn't with Irish step dancing and "it's all good news" so I got very discouraged. But then she said "well, I don't have bad news, but we have things to discuss."
She explained to me that the lab didn't find the brca-1 mutation that is common in families with clusters of breast cancers. Or the brca-2 mutation. There was, however, an inconclusive finding of some other sort of mutation.
So it was "um, that's good news mostly, right?". And it is. I don't need to have a difficult, frightening conversation with my daughter now about whether she has a mutation known to correlate with breast cancer. She doesn't need to be tested.
But as for a final answer on what the other part means? No dice.
Somewhere out in the universe is someone else (ONE person in all of the people who have had genetic testing processed at the same lab) who has this same inconclusive other mutation, and so for now the two of us need to chill and hope that it doesn't turn up in other people and get linked down the road as a common factor in people who have some type of cancer.
So I guess I'm one in thousands, if not one in a million.
I do not think I have slept through the night more than a couple of times in the past year, for various reasons. Pain, steroids, and hot flashes - which apparently will continue forever. It sucks!
Not only do I feel very alone, it's frustrating to be tired, so very tired. And WANT to be sleeping. Not worrying about tests and bills and random things like car inspections going wrong costing me well over $500.
Thanks for the ride, 2010. I will be happy to turn the page to January.
It's one of those days....
Tim Holt's 12 tags of Christmas... If you like creating art projects with rubber stamps then I'm guessing you know who Tim is. It's that time of year again - can't wait to see the new tags every day and to try to win one of the daily prizes.
I will be taking another online photo class starting this week. Daily assignments = taking pictures daily which makes me happier all around the edges. See
http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/blog/ for more details about "picture the holidays".
I have TWO chances to win a very sweeeeet camera and could find out today or tomorrow. Fingers crossed!
It was calm and beautiful to be with my family and eat and eat a glorious plate of food without thinking about chemo and the various medicines I took to get through it. It was sweet bliss to just sit down after the meal and take a nap like your average American.
I could have done without the bra though. Those fuckers still hurt. Before I even left my mom's to go to my brother in law's I was in the bathroom trying to take it off without just taking off my dress (like any person with any common sense at all would do).
It was fun to gather with family and just be crazy Aunt Char again. (Somewhere there is a picture of me, one holiday I laid down on the floor and all three of the kids, mine plus my nephew, piled on top of me, in some sort of a crazy sandwich.)
Well, now I have a younger niece and nephew plus my nephew's stepbrother has a young child so I am an Aunt again and also a great Aunt. And I am a great, fabulous Aunt. My many services provided yesterday included a running commentary on Charlie Brown (look at Snoopy dog making popcorn!), letting the kids run my iphone battery down completely (all those games I buy like Spin Art go over pretty well with the five and under crowd) and even helping with Mandy's poopy pants (why do people rush to get their kids out of pullups? It's like some sort of pissing contest, if you will pardon the pun. )
I capped off my services by wrangling a three year old into showing me her Beauuuuutiful pjs... (oh my! Please put them on for me...) and reading Goodnight Moon three times, in a progressively flatter monotone... Hushhhhhhh.
I can't wait to be an Auntie again, and lucky for me, around May I will be.
Today I ran all of my stupid, redon-culous errands without needing to sit down to breathe and try to catch my strength. I'm gonna show Santa who's boss, and come Christmas day I have three new kids to pile on top of me. I think I'll put the two pictures side by side in one frame.
The doctor who does genetic testing is only in the office on Tuesday and Thursday.
She has already explained to me that they ALWAYS make patients come in to discuss the results.
I watched her draw my family tree. MY family. Circles for each female, and squares. Neatly filled in for those who are gone, their cause of death noted carefully underneath.
The simple tube of blood, shipped away - Jersey? I can't remember. I will know when I get the bill, which could apparently be hundreds of dollars. I can't wait for THAT envelope either. Not.
But I am trying very hard to convince myself that I will NOT have another December holiday where tests and results drown out laughter and celebrations.
News is just news, and it's just a piece of paper in a folder on someone's desk but it's hard for me not to tilt my head and listen for a ticking sound.
I feel more like me again. I was just reading my posts for January and feeling SO THANKFUL to be here in November.
I have a hairdo again. I won't go on and on about it. But yesterday in the ladies room I saw the lady who comforted me the day it was 90* and I didn't wear my wig at work (I wore my favorite dragonfly bandanna) and she loved my hair, which is a nice shade of ash blonde now and has a shape sweetly unlike a helmet of hair all equal in length.
I took my daughter to the mall for a manicure today and saw my assistant guardian angel. (You can read my original post about her at
http://goingon40.blogspot.com/2009/12/fine-spiculated-mess.html - in my memory banks, her index name is Happy.)
It was very busy there today so Ty, who I thought was just a manager, did my nails and Oy, he really does a brisk leg massage. Ow. Stop punching my legs dude! On second thought, he really loosened up the foot I have flirting with plantar fasciitis.
While he was doing my hand massage, I closed my eyes for a minute and relaxed. Happy came over an said "He bad man" in a playful tone to me... So then I laughed and he said "is good, right ? good, she loco" and then I had to say "do you remember me? I met you in December, the day I found out I had cancer" and she did... I saw recognition pass over her face... She began talking about power, and strong, and said my hair came back so good, so I really do think she remembers and understands, even though my ability to speak Vietnamese really sucks.
So yeah, I hugged her. Because I am at peace with being Dorky, and that one little encouragement of "happy happy - fight!" meant so much to me. And my daughter's reaction "is that her??" was not unlike what you would hope for when pointing out someone who threw you a life preserver when you needed it most.
My college roommate walked with me at our local Susan B Komen run /walk last month. Her mom is also a breast cancer survivor and walked with us.
They are affiliated with a local group that provides a number of programs for women diagnosed with breast cancer. One event is an awareness night at women's basketball game for Siena, a local college that runs a very popular basketball program around here.
From what I understand I am one of a group of women who will be honored at this year's event, and I get escorted out onto the middle of the arena floor during halftime or before the game or by a team member or something equally fun. And prizes! I love prizes. Apparently there are goodie baskets, but I'd be happy with even just the awesomeness of standing in the center of a basketball court and having an arena full of people cheering for us.
Exciting and definitely something to look forward to -
Let's just hope I don't trip walking out onto the court!
This of course means that my bedroom had to be emptied AGAIN last night. As in, while I was also committed to babysitting my niece and nephew. Ooopsie.
So after listening to "knock knock....apple!" about 500 times (really, that's the whole joke, he is three), giving them extra cookies even though they didn't even come close to cleaning their plates, and letting them play Cut the Rope and CakeDoodle, we sang christmas carols and I got them sound asleep by 8:15; I then slipped out of the house quietly. (Kidding, but only about that very last piece. I did actually wait for their parents. )
I came home and emptied my closet. Because to carpet wall to wall they have to be able to lift the wire 'california' shelving... Literally every room in the house has some of my clothes plopped somewhere, between getting dressers out if the way and just things already stashed in the kids' closets (like black tie dresses from long ago...)
This is making me very twitchy. Where to start? How much to get rid of? Do I chuck stuff that's still a size or two small or hope that the running gets me there, when it might only keep me at the weight I am now? Pointless debate unless your entire trousseau is on YOUR couch.
We won't talk about the fact that I had intended to buy a new bedroom set but haven't managed to go find one yet.. Because then I would have to talk about emptying most of the room again and I might have to lie down on my new rug, or lay down, I don't even know, and sob.
Knock knock ...(see post title)
I am scheduled to go for genetic testing this week to see if I have issues with mutated genes that go by the lovely monikers of BRCA1 and 2. Let's call them The Dragons.
This fair maiden has been feeling rather lost in the woods. First a hunter stabbed her, and then she had to eat four poisoned apples. Then I -well, SHE- felt the heat of a large fire. It burned and burned, for weeks.
The woods have now been quiet for three months. New signs of life have appeared. Eyelashes have grown back and my nails no longer have ridged rings like tree trunks, one for each poisoned apple.
NOW they tell me that there may be dragons in the woods. I'd heard the legends, of course, but forgot them in the midst of the apples and the fires.
If I have these gene mutations I get to worry not only about more breast cancer but also ovarian cancer... Not just for me but also for my daughter and sister... I don't really understand all of this yet. My oncologist talked to me about making the appointment a week or two ago and I set one up for this week. I haven't watched the informational video yet, but I will need to do that soon.
Some people don't want to be tested. I imagine they know there might be a dragon in the cave, but they'd rather not find out. They will just walk quietly past the entrance to the cave, and hope that nothing lurks therein.
I am not quiet, and if the dragon is there, it's there, and might wander out of the cave at any time to try to take a bite out of me. So I will need to aim my flashlight right into each and every cave and see if a pair of smoke- irritated eyes should happen to glow back at me.
If so, I will call upon my faithful knights to watch over me, and slay the dragon if he dares to try to sprinkle me with salt.
But wouldn't it be nice to find out that the cave is empty?
Chill. Out.
I know you had breast cancer two years ago and you are on tamoxifen now, but please shaddap. Because all you do is predict gloom and that my hotflashes will get worse (they're getting better now that I'm running more) and that I will gain weight (see previous comment).
You are the one who told me during chemo "oh wait till you have radiation..." and I didn't appreciate the ominous tone then, either. By the way? Radiation is easier than chemo.
I have only been on it three months but my doctor says so far so good, and I'm hoping it stays this way.
I realize you might be having a harder time with it a because you're ten years older than me. So... I guess my point is that I'm writing this note because I don't want to tell you to shaddap for reals. (But please shut up. Like that song Baby danced to on DWTS this week. shutup shutup shutup!)
Have a nice weekend! See you Monday (big grin).
Up the road to work, NOT stopping to take a picture of the mist swirling around the canal gates. Already too late for work. Dammit, Janet.
Stopping at Dunkin for a bagel. Honestly guys. Starbucks never fucks up my tea - and I get a vanilla chai latte there. I'm still trying for "large hot tea, sweetened". I have been given coffee, tea with cream, and other nonsense... as well as the wrong kind of bagel, cream cheese instead of egg and cheese... WTF ? Listen and pay attention.
Lunch break - bank A, post office, gift store (needed a gift certificate for an event we are going to this sunday, but got myself some goodies for my birthday... Spent extra so that Mr will take the hint next year to do his OWN shopping...purse, pandora beads, candy....) another bank, got lunch, and made it back to work in 65 minutes.
Then after work down to Macy's looking for a $20 coat from their ad which all the clerks denied existed, so I chalked it up to chemo brain. Went to Sephora to collect a little promo birthday gift and of COURSE some cute nail polish (dear Essie, you make better products.... I only buy Sephora because it's RIGHT THERE).
Looked in bookstore, no fun without anyone to discuss books with, also could not find a certain book I was looking for. (LOST encyclopedia)
Went to another mall to look at jc penny for mystery coat because B thought maybe it was there. Again with the rude clerks saying "a coat for $20? No" (found ad at home later. It was Macy's, bitches. But I got a nicer coat at penney's. )
Beat feet on home, we had to go ove.r to a (Giffey's )chicken BBQ at church No sauce? WTF number two for the day; and on the way home I voted. HATE ny's new paper ballots, WTF number 3.
Then I remembered I had to go over to copy 250 wreath order forms and even more lunch menus and stuff teacher mailboxes. Back out the door I went.
Sadly I did not remember to spend an hour on something I brought home from work. Rut roh.
I am tired. I have not done this much in one day in literally about a year. Hopefully I will sleep through the night, which is another thing I haven't done in a long long time.
Adios.
It comes in handy on dark mornings. One of the droids does not like the ceiling light on - early in the morning I lierally walk through shadows to my desk.
Last week I asked for a desk lamp. When everyone heard that yes, the company will buy us lamps, guess who also wanted one??
I have Sugarland's "Incredible machine" on loop. What is she saying? Holler? Call it? Someone please tell me.
I have a dr appointment tomorrow. Things should go smoothly. I don't feel 100% by any stretch(haha, like my joke about how I can't take off my jacket without saying "ouch" because my arm gets pulled too far back?) but I feel better than in August.
I'm currently watching Alex Guarnaschelli make all sorts of desserts. Mmmmm, bananas foster.
(which still sneaks up on me from time to time...last month saw someone from The Bank, he was part of the division I was in, ... when he came to interview at my new company I couldn't think of his name... Oy vey... Yesterday I heard he got the job.
Exhibit 2: I told my boss my new pc will have 6MB of memory... D'oh! He kindly said 'can that run windows?')
Anyway... Playing Cut the Rope is bound to fix all of my cognitive issues right?? I started playing yesterday... So by the end of next week I should be all set ?
