Thursday, May 02, 2013

Is google reader even still working?

I started this post with a title of "You say goodbye, I say hello", but that doesn't seem to work.  Maybe it does. Who knows? Quite honestly I'm not sure anyone will read this post. But if someone does...

I am well. I feel *healthy* again, which if I could post in screaming neon red blinking letters, I would. I more or less won a spot on a fitness challenge team and won a 1 year membership to planet fitness, and it has been fun hitting the weight room again. I did it more than a dozen years ago and liked it, until an unrelated accident made me stop for a while. :::Cough::: fifteen years :::cough:::
People at work are starting to notice that I'm doing "something" and that feels so nice. While the voice in my head says I don't do enough cardio,  reality and my children's sports schedules intervene, and my college roommate assures me that she is The Slowest Loser but it is still progress. And so I am happier with myself than I have been in a while and there are even days I almost don't even think about ever having cancer.

Time marches on for my poor sweet father in law who is sad and lonely. It breaks my heart. He's lost without his girl. He has been sick with one thing or another a couple of times lately, and my kids and I flinch nervously, and then he gets better. It's hard. Hard to figure out how to fill his time, where he should stay or go...

My job may or may not be around for much longer. My company is reorganizing. I will stay until they gently put me to the door, but during the transition my department could end up growing and not vaporizing. One never knows. I know in my heart that if I need to get another job it will fall in place in time. It always does. In the fall almost four years ago, I interviewed for a wonderful job that I would have been fabulous at... Until I got cancer. So I was secretly happy in the end, when I figured out that the job was never meant to be, because  I was destined to be a crazy little contractor because it would allow me to focus on just making it through my treatments and healing. And caring for my in-laws. And running away to Pittsburgh every now and then to kiss sweet baby faces.

Three things, which make me happy: those babies. My gardens. And photographing (those babies and my gardens in particular, but also my own kids who are growing up so quickly I can't even discuss it.)