Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Who knows

I have a widget on my google desktop that counts the days until whatever event you are tracking. I had it set for the 5K on may 31st...31 days from now. The only trouble is, I haven't run. At all. In months.
So I'm giving up on that. I'm discouraged. This month has really kicked my ass, and I just can't see myself running through that park in 4 1/2 weeks. It's kind of hard to believe I managed to do it last year.
There is so much stuff going on at school with staffing cuts and people handling things the way human beings with emotions tend to handle those situations. People reacting to things that maybe in their heart of hearts, they knew on some level, would probably have to happen someday... but still stunned and waffling between frustration and sadness and thoughts about the future.
It's hard to watch, because I still don't know about MY job. And after a meeting yesterday, I don't know what I want anymore. I felt so TOTALLY out of synch with one of the people I was meeting with. I felt like anything I said, she just blinked and moved on with her train of thought. It was draining. I can't do my job if no one will let me. But I need my job.

Bad haiku

At the baseball game
Freezing despite the blankets
Damn metal bleachers

Carly(via Blackberry)

Not necessarily news

Catching up on some celebrity "news"...

This article speaks disapprovingly of Katie Holmes and Posh dining out and that they

shared a green salad sans dressing, one piece of fish and one side of steamed spinach. They also ordered one regular Coke and two glasses of ice.

This is bad? Caesar dressing is loaded with calories. They probably got oil and vinegar. I've seen fish on restaurant plates that I would cut into THIRDS, not even just in half. Steamed spinach is healthy, and there was probably the equivalent of a box of frozen spinach in that "side dish". People. Seriously. If they'd shared ONLY the salad, I might raise an eyebrow. Going out to eat with a friend and splitting meals is a good thing. Just as Hungry Girl - who, by the way, has a new book out. She is all about splitting meals and making healthier substitutions.

Yes, Katie is tall and lean - she runs marathons. She's young. Deal with it. As for Posh, those ta-tas really bother me, but if she wants to knife up, that's her business. She is out in Plastic Surgery Cult city, after all. Do we really NEED to criticize how these women eat in a restaurant?

Then we have another article which I found very insightful. I completely agree with McNamara's assertion that Miley is a living, breathing Disney princess.

It's their classic formula, complete with an idealized father figure and (apparently) absent mother. Remove the parent(s), make the princess vulnerable. Ever notice that about Disney movies? It's been that way since I was in college. When I see the Vanity Fair photos, I see a young female who looks as though she's been assaulted. The messed hair, the smeared eye makeup. Not cool. Not a "beautiful image" or whatever expression they tried to use in defense.

This is why I don't read the news very often.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Monday, April 28, 2008

Technically not illegal

The other day as I was leaving work Suzy called me.

I was being a good citizen of our fair state and grabbed my hands free headset and we chatted for a while. Suddenly I noticed her, two cars ahead of me.

We drove side by side for a while, laughing about how that very though would make our mother start gnawing her thumbnail.

I decided to take her picture and in so doing, swerved just a LITTLE bit into her lane.

Luckily she is a better driver than I am; no surprise because after all she got a degree in TWO years and it took me 4. (That's our running joke.)


I've had this running complaint open with facilities because I shouldn't have to wear fleece OVER a sweater in mid spring because an icy wind is blowing on me. The work order was opened, ingnored, escalated, ignored again, and so on.

Friday I was visited by one team member and his manger and they said they'd fixed one of the 30 thermostats on the floor. They were sorry, I was forgiving. It even SEEMED WARM after that.

After lunch today I noticed the icy blast start up again, because the universe felt my Monday wasn't quite bad enough yet.

Five minutes ago a facilities guy came around a corner and pointed something gunlike at me. I was about to scream and dive under the desk, but then I remembered seeing my boyfriend Alton use one on tv. Yes I was faked out by a fancy thermometer that he was pointing at the heat/ AC vents. .

For the record, two thermostats are now dueling for the turf my cubicle occupies. I just hope nobody else show up with a thermogun again.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Sunday, April 27, 2008


Sunday art... we're getting REALLY loose with this category but here goes:

has little ditties like this one:

And boy, am I someone who wishes that a lot of the squares in my life were round. Gaaah.

Most of the cartoons on this site are kind of funny or bizarre, but every now and then one makes me wince, and take a closer look at myself (granted - maybe a little too harshly, it's JUST a post it note for crying out loud...)

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Digging a Ditch

Digging a Ditch
Run to your dreaming when you're alone
Unplug the TV and turn off your phone
Get heavy on with digging your ditch
Cause I'm
Digging a ditch where madness gives a bit
Digging a ditch where silence lives
Digging a ditch for when I'm old
Digging this ditch my story's told
Where all these troubles weigh down on me will rise
Run to your dreaming when you're alone
Where all these questions spinning round my head will die, will die, will die
Run to your dreaming when you're alone
Unplug the TV and turn off your phone
Get heavy on with digging your ditch
Cause I'm
Digging a ditch where madness gives a bit
Digging a ditch where silence lives
Digging a ditch for when I'm through
Digging this ditch I'm digging for you
Where all these worries wear down on me will rise
Where all these habits pull heavy at my heart will die
Run to your dreaming when you're alone
Not what you should be or what you've become
Just get heavy on with digging your ditch
Cause I'm
Digging a ditch where madness gives a bit
Digging a ditch where silence lives
Where all these disappointments that grow angry out of me will rise
Will die, will die, will die
Run to your dreaming when you're alone
Unplug the TV and turn off your phone
Get heavy on with digging your ditch

People bug me today. Hmmph.

I'm tired of some of the "stuff" at school that I'm dealing with, and tired of wondering if I'll still have a job at the end of this year. Today at the function I had to run for school there was a whole buzz about the latest gossip and people fishing for what I know and what I think about it all. Tapdancing, all evening. Because I can't say what I think and all of the reasons why. People think it's so desirable to be "in the know". I don't want to know "stuff." I wish I didn't.

Tired of wondering what certain people are thinking and if certain problems I'm having are my fault because I don't explain myself well sometimes. Tired of questioning my own judgement, and whether I'm too emotional; tired of second guessing things I would like to say, emails I would like to send.

Tired. Tired of not feeling good and not sleeping well and of not liking how I look or feel. Tired of resolving to do something about all of that, and falling short because I'm sucked back into habits and just that whole "being human" thing.

I want to go off in a kayak and paddle out into the long quiet part of the lake, and feel the sun on my face, and watch the dragonflies skim over the water, and look up at the trees and the sky.

Parting shots

Apparently Spencer & Heidi were at Central Park the same day we were. I only wish I'd seen then so I could go up and flick my finger against his forehead and say "you're SUCH a twit".

B was desperately hoping to see the Jonas Brothers at their "favorite" restaurant in little Italy but we did get a picture of her, standing in front of it hopefully looking around at everyone nearby.

We wanted to spend much more time in the park, and I want to go back to the museums, and the kids have never seen a show, not even the Rockefeller Christmas show, so we have a long list of things to do when we return (B was very miffed that we couldn't go to the wax museum so that she could see Miley. Please. $120 (for all of us) for her to stand next to one doll and then say "I'm hungry, when's lunch?" I don't think so.)

Someday. When I finish my remodeling, which :::;drumroll::: might start soon. In a week, maybe. Yeah, I know. That's not a flashy announcment. This stuff is crawling along and I really wanted it done by the 4th of July but that looks out of reach now. At least I have May to more or less get things packed out of the way from the family room & kitchen. It's gonna be a BIG mess, I can feel it in my bones.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

This tulip

.... Won't be here when I get home, probably. Effing rabbits. At least I got to see this one.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Bleeding Love

Not sure if you caught Leona Lewis on Idol tonight. My kid has liked her for a couple of weeks now and so the song is stuck in my head for good. Here's her giant face on the front of Virgin Records in Times Square (that's Mariah's foot over her head)

What, you thought this post wouldn't be about the city? sorry...

Brooklyn Bridge

...and I promise to stop talking about Manhattan. Soon. Soon-ish.

Did I tell you that there were police everywhere, and I mean everywhere, police standing and police on horses and people who were clearly police with sniffer dogs and...some people might be nervous about that; I wasn't really bothered by it all. We had arranged our plans to sort of stay out of the Pope's way on Friday. So it was no big deal.

One NYPD officer was very nice to my son. He and his partner had a truck, it was a some sort of power generator truck, and it was near St. Pat's. We were waiting for other family members to finish something, and so I took my son over and introduced him. The officers were really friendly and took a bunch of photos with the kids and made it a very cool moment for my son.

We also made friends with our cab driver; there are only four cabbies in NYC who are SAG members and so when a movie is filmed in town and they need cabbies, this guy is usually somewhere on the set. I'll have to look for him; he talked about being in some movie Julia Roberts is filming now. (Duplicity, with Clive Owen, who is NOT hard on the eyeballs, thank you.)

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Just curious

I often listen to. "Beach house" by Tony Braasch when too many people arond me at work are yakking. I just need to not be able to make out their words so that I can focus. It's waves against rocks and there's a wind chime faintly jingling. It's an hour long so I tend to accomplish quite a bit.

I wonder if there is a similar mp3 of white noise sounds of the city? I mean, I don't really like crickets or wolf sounds, and I'm just still in Why Can't I Go Back to Manhattan Now mode

Carly(via Blackberry)

Monday, April 21, 2008

More shots

Central Park & St. Patrick's....

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Sunday Art

One of the luxuries of having a digital camera is being able to take as many photos as you want, or hand the camera to your kid and let them play and learn. You can delete any Ooops or Ughs later.
So, two photos by my son. He had plenty of shots where his hand got in front of the lens, but some gems too. There is probably nothing remarkable about the photo above, except that I just like the candid nature of it. I'm very ok with random shots of "nothing."
I'm definitely hoping he continues to enjoy the hobby.

Saturday, April 19, 2008


We got the usual shirts and magnets on our trip; I also purchased a Dean & Deluca tote bag - I'll be using it for work, because I have my laptop and my lunch and my wallet and blah, blah blah. I sprayed the hell out of it today with a waterproofing spray I got at "Lids" for my son's white Yankee cap.
I also got this ( because I liked that it's giant (for 16 oz of tea, of course, not wine, I would not ever drink wine in this) and that it's sculpted in a wee bit of 3-d.

But, no Coach bag. Or Tiffany dragonfly bracelet.

What is sweet about the sorrow?

It's so hard to get in the car, and look out the window at you as I pull away. Everything behind me gets smaller and smaller, and then when I inevitably have to turn away, and leave you in my back window, I feel that cold steely hand clench around my heart and squeeze. My stomach flips over inside of me, and lands with a dark thud that echoes through me until it escapes with a weary sigh.

This visit is over, it pains me to know that I will carry around this empty space inside for a while; the space that is so filled with joy, when I am there.

Now, I am here. Back to "normal".

"There" is excitement. Possibility. Energy. New thoughts and ideas and things to discover. All so unattainable on any permanent basis.

"Here" is just so ordinary and routine and the same. And lonely, somehow -- a contradiction in that there are SO many people around me. And yet. Lonely. This, unfortunately, IS permanent.

I hope it won't be too long before I see you again. But the tiny, quiet fear is always there. What if this was the last time? What if there is no next time?

Friday, April 18, 2008


Honestly. It's a candy store. An effing AWESOME candy store full of candy I don't even like. but still.

I mean, really. How can you not want to go there?
Oh, and my daughter has about 350 pictures to my 250. I've created a monnnnster.

Only the core remains

So. I am blogging from a limo. Carlyrella went and tooled around Manhattan this week. But it's almost midnight and soon I will be surrounded by pumpkin mush.

We went down to the big apple and played for a few days. On Wednesday I strolled into Tiffany's and tried on a $9750 dragonfly bracelet cuff. It was three rows of dragonflies; their heads were pearls, their bodies were diamonds and the wings were white gold. I was pretty shocked when the clerk took it out of the case and put it on my arm. Carly can't buy that because Carly's kids have wonky teeth and so $10k has to go to braces.

I also looked at a $400 Coach bag. It was pink leather and I really liked it, but that's not really in the cards. I only saw one hooker this week so I didn't get a chance to network enough to get in the biz.

While the boys went to The Longest Yankee Game the girls walked through Central Park (love it) and ate at Tavern on the Green (mehhhhh)

Yesterday we rode the bus tour around. Lunch at Il Palazzo (excellent) and then ate dinner at Junior's right off Times square. I had a giant slab of carrot cake - enclosed cheesecake. (Pics to follow). I really just wanted to be alone with it but my kids staged a fork intervention sooo....

Times Square at night - does it get any better?

We stayed at the Belvedere Hotel (kinda basic but fine) which is right across the street from a school Alicia Keyes once attended. When we pulled up in our limo there was some interest in our limo, but then "nobody" (my brother in law ) got out. Hah

Today we did Today and the NBC tour. We staked out a spot and watched the setup for the fourth hour and then acted like jackasses cheering so we'd be on camera. . Kathie Lee Gifford threw a cookie at me. Oookay.
So we spent time at Rockefeller and at this point I can barely walk. I got blisters on my blisters.

Oh yeah, and some Catholic guy is in town. Whatevs.

Mr C. said to my daughter "can you imagine if you came to the city and everyone dropped what they were doing?". She said "they DID, didn't they?"
Carly(via Blackberry)

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Looking ahead, and back

The last couple of days before a vacation are the WORST. Everyone wants everything "before you go" and no one seems to remember that you'll be back soon, and most of it can be handled then. Can I PLEASE just go on vacation?

We have some typical adventures planned- a yankees game for the boys, Tavern on the green for the girls. Also plenty of wandering around and eating all sorts of great food.

Also we will go to the world trade center site, to pay our respects... I can't put it into words very well but I want my kids to see and feel it all, and keep it close to their heart. We will look at the exhibits that are at the chapel across the street, where the rescue workers took their breaks and were counseled by clergy.
My hope is that my kids will stand there with me in the park behind the church, and look at that big empty space, and be moved to say a prayer with me and think about all of those people, and their families, and be thankful for our soldiers and say a prayer for them too.

Monday, April 14, 2008

Dear universe

Stop it stop it stop it stop it!!!!!

Today I worked from home; my kids have va-cay-shun this week and I don't want them killing each other just yet.

I put my little darlings to work* and I set about my own work. At one point I had about 15 windows open because I am dealing with TWO programs that both MUST be done NOW (yes only two, the real geeks are laughing at me out there) and clients who don't comprehend that we can't start programming other work until they actually give us the requirements for what they want us to do! I didn't even get to program #2 but #1 is shaping up nicely, if I can keep the client from saying "well my friend edited a local copy of the database and...."

At 3:57 my boss pinged me via instant message to see if I could sit in on a phonecall at 4. The universe was trying to tell me something that I just wasn't getting.

At 4:02 my daughter shot into the room; "mmmmmmmoooooooooommmmm I had an orthodontist appointment at 4!" Oh, right. That. Um, thanks for nothing?

So JUST then my boss called and I had to sort of whimper "can I call you right back?" and call the ortho to reschedule. The secretary was kind; hmm, what to do, can't really bring her candy, now can I ???


* the other night I got up from watching tv, and wandered in to use the bathroom before I went to sleep. The trashcan had been empty at 3pm; I was working from home THAT day too. Not sure what happened between 3 and 11 but it was as though it was a volcano spewing really really gross stuff, heaped on top and strewn about the can on the floor.

I was repulsed and went out to levitate my husband off the recliner using only my voice. He in turn looked at the mess, stomped into bedrooms, and woke up our little cherubs, saying "get into the bathroom now".

My son tends to sleepwalk in that scenario (awakened after being asleep for about an hour) and so it took a while to get him to the right place.

I pointed at the trashcan and said to them both "This is DISGUSTING. If I EVER see this again, we will not have cable." I even made the slashing motion across my throat to make sure they got it that I Am Serious.

I stomped out and my son picked up everything. My husband handed the bag to my daughter and said 'well, since all you did is watch him clean it up, you can bring it out to the cold garage now'.

She complied and then I heard a whiny "Can we please go back to bed now?"

My garbage has not been more than half full since then.

Today my son said "Mom... I really like cable."

I know, my child. I know.

So yesterday I commisioned them captains. Captain of Dish and Garbage Duty, and Captain of the Laundromat. Duties to rotate weekly.

And they thought this was a vacation.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Yanks acquire Ex-Cardinal

(from ESPN )

We are JUST BARELY missing the Pope when HE visits NYC. Soooo, I got a good laugh out of this one.

Friday, April 11, 2008

This just in

Today we got up early and trekked to a TV station for a private tour with the morning news anchor. The tour was a gift, (someone else won it at an auction but gave it to my son).

It was fun; we got there just before 8 A.M., and Phil (Mr. Anchor) let us listen while he discussed the curent status of various news stories with his producer (for the five minute local headline cut-ins during the Today show) and he showed my son D how he edits the script and so on. I hadn't realized he wrote his own scripts for those cut-ins. He was really nice and spoke at my son's level because he has a son of his own; he made it all very cool and interesting to D.

The one funny thing was that there are multiple nicknames for my daughter's full given name; there is one version that NO ONE ever calls her, and Phil pulled that out of thin air for some reason and called her that consistently the whole time we were there. (She didn't mind. Whew~!)

Anyway, then we went into the studio and watched them actually doing one of the cut ins, and the local weather. D got a chance later to stand in front of the green screen and wave his arms around and watch himself on the monitor. The weather guy was pretty cool too, and spent time talking to us as well. He showed D the worn out spot on the floor where he always stands, and the right angle to stand so that you can watch yourself on the monitor (to point to the right part of the green screen) and look pretty convincing from home -- look as though you're looking "at" the map, when you're watching the monitor really, and without moving you can shift your gaze to appear to be speaking to people at home.

Later we went to the production room where they control all of the feeds and so on, and can do special effects like splitting the screen and overlaying different sources. That part was fun for me because it was a computer geek.

I took a bunch of pictures - except I forgot to take one with Mr. Anchor!! Unbelievable. Oh well. I did get a photo of D and the weather guy. So maybe someday he'll be a meteorologist. Because that's all it takes, right? Having a picture of yourself pretending that you are doing a job, and you are qualified.

The rain is back for a few days, and it's making me very melancholy, but I am fighting it. I have been playing Israel Kamakawiwo'ole's version of Somewhere Over the Rainbow, and wishing I could fly over the rainbow myself. (OK, so that's not helping. I'm stopping that now.) There's some significant crap going on with school, and it is really bringing me down.

My friend spent some time today trying to convince me to add a gas fireplace to our family room and put the tv on the wall over that (um, don't have pesos for a flat screen tv now!) - she pointed out that we should at least put the CAT 5 cable in for now. Also I figured out that my "just put linoleum out there" option won't work for the screen porch...since it won't be heated... so tile it is. Cha ching. So I'm already worried about blowing too much money on this!

Long busy weekend coming up. I'm tired.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Snip snap snip snap

Omg, I am so happy the Office is back. And I have wine too!

Edit - since so many people have hit me from a google of "snip snap snip snap", I feel obligated to tell you all to go HERE for a great website:

Ps. My son just did a spontaneous air guitar riff to a commercial. Maybe I should bring him to work tomorrow.

Carly(via Blackberry)

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Still with us

I am happy to say... They actually seem to have thrived in Casa Carly once I got rid of the spring water.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

With a little help from my friends

This month is the "perfect storm"... there are two maaaaahjah events at school that yours truly has to run. One is a fundrasier is a raffle that raises all of its money at the last possible friggin' moment, so that I can lose sleep for at least a week if not a month before we flip over from failure to profit. We have flipped, by the way. Amen. Amen- I-don't-want-to- run-this-next-year. But you know how that goes.

The other is a social event that's kind of cute and fun, but doesn't play well down south, but nevertheless I have that pretty well under control (cue ominous music... ) as far as I know.

Add our trip to Manhattan (we are going down in! a! limo!) which I will blog either during, or when it's over, so that I don't come home to an empty house.

Shake in our pending home renovation, (read as: destruction and reconstruction....) which might start any day now or not for a week or a month or who the eff knows and I need to pack and think about things like paint and carpet and stuff and whether to pay my mortgage this month or blow that money in Manhattan on pretzels from a grungy cart on the street somewhere near Rockefeller.

Various things are getting me through this:

  • my gift from Scrappy... mine is blue and I love it. I will SO take a picture of a Starbuck's cup, wearing one of these bad boys, in Times Square. Yes I am that cornball, and I will do it.
  • an even better gift of knowing that the long chemo winter is over and my friend will be around to add her wit and wisdom to my life for quite some... if I still had that pink ribbon magnet you know I'd be mailing you the pieces now, woman!! Or better yet I would fly down there and we could put bits of it all over the most expensive cars driving around your town
  • my other friend from London describing Borough Market to me just when I really really needed to think about fun places like this and cooking with fresh ingredients, and not think about people who steal from other people who are doing fundraising
  • friends who give me wine.... just saying...
  • my daughter saying to me "do you know if I connect the freckles on my left leg with a Sharpie it would look like the big dipper?" and just generally being really cool and hilarious
  • my son trying to be all BIG even when I want him to still be my munchkin, and not lashing out at me when I rein in his independence a little bit because I just CAN'T HANDLE him driving waaaaaaaaay away from me and out of sight at the park on his scooter, helmet or no helmet
  • daffodils, which are repugnant to rodents who root in my garden, but infinitely less so to me. Flowers are my friends...
  • vitamin B-12.... really... I didn't read the literature, but my sister/ best friend suggested I start taking it, and it kept me from wanting to bulldoze something this month. Maybe those pretty pink pills are placebos but I swear, it helped me.

Monday, April 07, 2008

Frasier back. So it really is spring.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Dog, wood anti goose device. This is something child1 had to explain to me.

PS, it's not working
Carly(via Blackberry)


Yay! (except get a good look while you can, the rabbits or squirrels are eating them)
Carly(via Blackberry)

Tastes like chicken

So, today I tried Indian food for the first time.

Tandoori chicken works for me, and there were deep fried somethings with onion and a red onion relish I loved.

Just wishing I'd had more kheer (rice pudding with nuts, sweet dessert)

Little Carly doesn't get out much!
Carly(via Blackberry)

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Sunday art

... to use the category very loosely.

Today's work of art is a luxury car, the Maybach (pick English, then Movies, then watch the 2007 film for a ten minute sample a la the Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous.) It would not make me sad to tool around Manhattan in a 62.

Click here to check out the inside of the car, and read the entire page for the security add ons. I stumbled across this link when I read that Jay-Z drives one of these cars, and searched for more information on it. Not sure that I would want to live a life where I usually didn't feel safe, and needed security- customized cars for peace of mind, but damn.... nice car.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

AB Negative

So, my love for Alton Brown has been documented in this blog. I'm a little upset with him still, because he had the nerve to be at a conference that I wasn't allowed (by my manager) to attend a couple of months ago. I didn't know until TOO LATE that he was the surprise guest speaker wrapping up the conference. My heart broke a little. REALLY -but I know that Alton is mine, despite NONE of my friend/coworkers knowing enough to walk up to him and take a camera phone photo of him holding up a piece of paper saying "Hi Carly." Geez guys. Really. I'm over it. Oh, yes, I am. Really. Uh huh.


My annoyance with Anthony Bourdain now needs to be shared. Anthony, or "AB-" to keep things simple, was in my area this week and continued to bash Rachel Ray. Apparently he's been gnawing at this for a long time. The essence of his hatred seems to be that she is not a gourmet chef. He made remarks simliar to "No one should aspire to mediocrity".

First of all, buddy, live and let live. Why put someone else down to prove your superiority? A mindset I just can never understand, right there.

Unlike Alton, who generally operates with a message of "cooking is cool and fun and HEY- try this!" AB- seems to operate only on the premise that the only worthy cook is a four (five?) star chef. (Did you know that Norman Rockwell was regarded by his peers as ONLY an illustrator, not a "real" artist? That's what I'm talking about. I guarantee that more of middle America know's Rachel's name, and not Anthony's. And I think it EATS HIM ALIVE because he is a "better" cook. )

I would go out on a limb and say that AB- has never been a middle class working mom with hungry kids. There are nights when I come home after 5pm, tired and looking at a mountain of laundry, bills to write out, homework to help with. A Thirty Minute meal is not the Supper of Satan in this circumstance. It's also not a frozen pizza, food delivery, or Mc Nuggets.

Do I watch Top Chef? Hell yeah. Would I love a cooking lesson from anyone competing on the show? Absofucking-lutely.

But I buy Rachel Ray's magazine, and those recipies might actually see my stove. Thanks, AB- , for trying to make me feel like somehow that makes me a failure. Eff you. No, really.

Friday, April 04, 2008


I lost all my presets on my Sirius today; it was kind of how the whole day went. Nothing according to plan; things I thought were in place just weren't.

Carly(via Blackberry)



My company is having an AIR GUITAR CONTEST next week. The sign above this one says 'bring your own axe or we will supply one.'

Please dear sweet baby Haysoos, , let me get run over in the parking lot. Amen.

Carly(via Blackberry)

Dear world

Everyone seems to be batshit crazy today. And my meter is going off at even the slightest sign of crazy. So there is this loud ringing in my ears, all day.

And when did Jerry Seinfeld get to be 53? (Duh, on his last birthday, I know...)

Carly(via Blackberry)

Thursday, April 03, 2008


My grandparents... on their 50th anniversary... some 20+ years ago. I miss them very much when I look at this picture.

You can't really tell from the thumbnail but I modified the picture with a filter to bring out the edges a little bit. It took away some of the "old and faded" - ness of the picture. I wanted it to look something like it had been painted, not photographed, but I didn't like the canvas filter over the dull coloring so I settled on this.

I'm in a bit of a funk these days. SO many things are on my mind (tons of end-of the year school responsibilities, and work is WAY up in the air and just generally frustrating on a day to day basis). And I forgot Top Chef again last night, as the truffle on top. I also have not had ONE DAMN MINUTE to run so I am very discouraged because the race is only about 7 weeks away at this point.

Tuesday, April 01, 2008


So, it was an upside down day.

I had an IEP meeting for one of my children (where the special ed. committee reviews the year to date, and determines what services will be provided the coming school year.) Right now we get consultant teacher services after school, extended test time, and other things like that. Sometimes B takes tests in a separate room because when other kids begin to hand in their tests B shuts down because of not being done too. This first happened when B repeated first grade. There was a huge worry that "I'm going to fail again." Only time convinced B that this was not the case. This anxiety is much better this year, but still a problem, in some subjects.

My child attended for the first time this year, (because of being old enough to have a voice in the proceedings) and I was a little apprehensive because I had some intentions of confronting one teacher who doesn't always "remember" that we have an IEP (this is a BIG no-no.)

There were other complications with which teachers were present (one was uninvited, um, yeah, no.) But in the end it was a good experience for my child because we discussed particularly successful projects that happened this year. (One of them being the LONG Norman Rockwell paper.) At the end of the meeting my kid said "that's it?" so I'm not sure how much anxiety there was, but I know there was some.

My house is in a shambles and I'm sweating just THINKING about all of the work to pack stuff, move it out of the way, make decisions, order things, and so on.

My house is also rather quiet now, because the other kid is involved in drama club and is in rehearsals from immediately after school until 8 pm almost every night this week. I have to admit I miss the kid.

I really need to change some of the water in the fish tank, too. Dammit!

March what?

Last year we convinced my son it was March 32 nd and drove him a little crazy.

This year we punked Mr. C.

He came out of the shower and I had the kids positioned to simultaenously run into the separate bathrooms and start making "barf" noises. I ran in behind one kid and shut the door and helped make noise.

Yes, I am three years old.