Saturday, September 30, 2006


I am a fantastic damn cook. Well, if I follow a recipe that is... I made chicken and dumplings tonight* and ... well, my daughter asked for seconds, so if you know her picky eating, that's the ultimate triumph. It was a perfect dinner on a chilly fall day that got more and more grey as the afternoon wore on.

I'm freezing. Our heat will not be on until TUESDAY because

  • we heat with oil
  • the furnace is old so I prefer to get it inspected before we use it for the first time
  • someone forgot to make the appointment sooner than now... and I'm complaining, so you know it wasn't me!

Since it got down into the 40's last night, we were all pretty cold. I got out my electric mattress pad cover (works like a blanket, but underneath you, so the heat rises around you.) Mine makes me a little nuts because the side with the label doesn't match to the control with the label, like the 'instructions' said it would. So every time I get it out I have to figure out which control is which. Someone was drinking on the job that day.

I have officially started Christmas shopping because I saw something in a catalog that I think my son will love. I really have to start thinking about painting his room (I promised him a Yankee stadium wall mural. ) Oy. That was supposed to get done labor day weekend. Sick, sicker, really really sick, and it didn't even get started.

*Rachel Ray's 30 minute meals version, with carrots and celery and onions, and I can't find it on the internet, I keep finding a different one that has peas. Gross.

Quote of the day:

"when you meet someone special you'll just know. A real relationship can't be forced. It just comes about effort-lent-less-ly"- Michael Scott

Yeah! What about mine?

Scarlett Johansson's hourglass figure and plum movie roles have brought her many fans. Among them, clearly, the editors at Esquire. The magazine has just crowned her "Sexiest Woman Alive."

The 21-year-old actress poses in come-hither garb on the cover and inside pages of the magazine's November issue, on newsstands October 18.

On the cover, she wears a bra and a white Calvin Klein mini-dress; In a series of photos inside (showing her as an "enigmatic trailer-park temptress," the magazine says), she wears cleavage-baring black lingerie paired with an open white robe, among other get-ups.

Johansson, whose screen credits include "The Black Dahlia," "Lost in Translation" and "Match Point," says she would rather be admired for attributes other than sex appeal.

"What about my brain? What about my heart? What about my kidneys and my gallbladder?" she asks, addressing all the hoopla about her curves in an interview in the magazine.

Yeah! What about MY gallbladder??? (Me, falling over laughing) Maybe that's why Esquire didn't pick ME... it DOES count.

Thursday, September 28, 2006


.... the Office is starting soon, but...

My coworker avenged a particularly humiliating loss for me today. Last year I nearly passed out from heatstroke while (cough) playing horseshoes at the company picnic. It was ninety degrees, and I suck at horseshoes, ok? A twerp was nitpicking me the entire time.

This year, my teammate played with someone else (due to my recent surgery) and WON THE TOURNAMENT.... awesome. Twerp was so indignant when she beat him. Mwahahaha.

My back still hurts. I am reduced to "office drone with rolling briefcase for laptop computer." Ugh.

Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Whose panties are on the bulletin board?

I love that commercial. (For the next episode of Grey's anatomy).

Today at work I received an email reprimanding me for having submitted a purchase request without a capital request. In fact I didn't even submit the PR, but I did have a capital request for it, that I got before I had someone else submit the PR for me (because I had never done one before and I didn't know how, and wanted it done right). But the capital number wasn't linked to the invoice number for the purchase order for the... well, you get the idea.

That's all I've got. My back hurts and I'm cranky. Goodnight!

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Coolness of the day

These shirts are black and white outlines... until you go out into the sunshine. Then they are colored.

This makes me very happy. Dragonfly, people.

Dell does not make me happy. They are not cool, because I went to to their website to order ink, and they set my damn home page to THEIR home page. If I wanted my EFFING home page for internet explorer to be THEIR home page, I would be QUITE capable of doing that myself. Eff you, Dell.

Monday, September 25, 2006

top secret birthday messages

to my daughter...

Gotta hold on easy as I let you go
Gonna tell you how much I love you, though you think you already know
I remember I thought you looked like an angel wrapped in pink so soft and warm
You've had me wrapped around your finger since the day you were born

Beautiful baby from the outside in
Chase your dreams but always know the road that'll lead you home again
Go on, take on this whole world
But to me you know you'll always be, my little girl (1)

* * *

AND to my son...

In the sunlight or the rain
brightest nights or darkest days
I'll always feel the same way
Whatever road you may be on
Know you're never too far gone
My love is there
wherever you may be
Just remember
that you will always be my baby (2)

* * *

Yes, my kiddddos have their birthdays one day apart. I inadvertently messed it up this year, with this whole gall bladder thing...not quite having friends parties, and we even missed the family party, but they're so cool they didn't even mind sharing a birthday cake. (A box mix, in a foil pan... with no decorations... it's just wronnnnng.) And they've only gotten one present apiece so far but they're not even complaining. My kids rock.

**1- Tim McGraw, My Little Girl, from new movie Flicka
2 - Sara Evans, You will always be my baby

Best get well card ever

from my son, this was on my nightstand when I got home from the hospital

do you love the hand with the red boogie board's strap around it? Looks like he wiped out again...

Saturday, September 23, 2006

My new career

Rather than go back to work in my cubicle I've decided to work ON other people's cubibles.

My inspiration is the book Cubechic ... take your office space from drab to fab by Kelley L. Moore. (Quirk books, Philadelphia)

(These pictures are from the book, but Ms. Moore, please don't sue me, I'm tryin' to sell ya some books here. Really. )

I'll start with my friends, of course.

This one just screams out Johnny Virgil ...I may just sneak down to his office and actually do this.

Once I perfect the breaking and entering aspect, I'll do Shamus (how awesome is the picture of beer foam as the windows wallpaper?)

And then I'll jet back out to C-town and take care of Sarah (could anyone get ANY work done in this office?)

Isn't it awesome? Admit it Sarah, you would just die if you walked in some day and saw this.*

Really, if you want to get away from a plain old cubicle, this book is loaded with ideas and you should definitely buy it. I would never go as far as most of these pictures because duct tape, hot glue gun, etc are required... too much like actual work. But you can easily incorporate the ideas from your favorite scene without going over the top. The book has 22 different themes and multiple photos for each idea. It's a steal - $16.

PS: Shop, I didn't forget you. I can't decide between the CEO/ corner office look, the library cube (with cigars!) or the Disco look.

* I think she actually works in a REAL office and not a cube. .. but whatever. Just one more lock to pick.

Friday, September 22, 2006

Red on Fridays

Please read the following passages, which were sent to me today, and join me in wearing red on Fridays.

When 2nd Lt. James Cathey's body arrived at the Reno Airport, Marines climbed into the cargo hold of the plane and draped the flag over his casket as passengers watched the family gather on the tarmac. During the arrival of another Marine's casket last year at Denver International Airport, Major Steve Beck described the scene as so powerful: "See the people in the windows? They sat right there in the plane, watching those Marines. You gotta wonder what's going through their minds, knowing that they're on the plane that brought him home," he said "They will remember being on that plane for the rest of their lives. They're going to remember bringing that Marine home. And they should."

Americans who support our troops used to be called the "silent majority." We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or overbearing.

Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops.

Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -- and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that ... every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar, will wear something red. By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of red much like a homecoming football game in the bleachers. If everyone of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and family, it will not be long before the USA is covered in RED and itwill let our troops know the once "silent" majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on. The first thing a soldier says when asked "What can we do to make things better for you?" is ..."We need your support and your prayers." Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example, and wear something red every Friday.

If you are not convinced, read this page and this page.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

TMX Must Die

I was watching tv out of one eye this morning when my eardrums were assaulted by the latest "hot toy". It's a world debut, people! Right in Diane Sawyer's hands!! (pffffft)

TMX is the 10th demonic incarnation of Tickle Me Elmo. Get it, X, for 10? Yeah whatever. This thing does that laugh which we all know, and it also falls down while laughing, and rolls around on the floor. It's engineered pretty well, I have to hand it to them. If it's on a flat hard surface it ends up each laugh by getting itself back on its feet, and I'm sure that's been quite a headache to troubleshoot.

But oh, my, Goooooooooooooood.

That laugh.

That long, drawn out, nails on a chalk board, please kill me now because I'm in a childproofed household and I have no sharp object, laugh.

I would not subject my worst... well, even my brother in law... hahah just kidding.... to this toy. Hearing this toy 50 times a day would make Mother Theresa start swearing like an angry drunken sailor.

Let the fistfights in the store aisles begin.

Monday, September 18, 2006

Top 3 Lines from Office Season 2 DVDs

... at least, the ones that I've watched so far....

"Please don't smell me, Michael"
- Jan, Performance Review

"Ho, ho, ho, Pimp! " - Michael to Pam, Angela, Phyllis and Ryan - the Christmas party


"Don't be fooled by the phrase 'dust bunnies'... they are vicious little bitches, and if they get into your disk drive, God help you. They will bring your computer to its knees. They sit in corners, hatching, defecating, and their sole purpose is to eat dead skin...which humans in this office shed by the boatload" - Dwight, The Secret (contained in the deleted scenes)

PS: Laughing still hurts, but not as much.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Please don't smell me, Michael

While I've been learning how to go on, after the devastating abduction of my gall bladder, I've made a few notes:

  • My most consistent companion has been a very persistent housefly. It sucks to be "sick" in a busy household. They all keep leaving me here with Mr. Goldblum. That little bastard better die soon. I'm tired of him cropdusting me just as I'm about to doze off.
  • The laundry fairy has apparently died, because no one is doing mine. This is bad news for women everywhere. Keep hope alive, girls. Maybe she just lost my address.
  • My sister in law rocks, because she brought more food than you could imagine. I signed her up for Rachel Ray's cooking magazine because I think she'll enjoy it. Karma, baby.
  • Hydrocodone gives you some really eff-ed up dreams. You know it's bad when you think to yourself "Aaagh! If I just open my eyes and shut them again all of this will go away."
  • I have lost 8 lbs so far - which can be replenished by one box of wine and one box of bonbon's, I'm sure.
  • I have five incisions from the laproscopy. They are arranged in a "greater than" shape, from my vantage point (or "less than", if you were looking at me... but you wouldn't want to see me right now, I promise.)They are stitched, not stapled, thank god. I have this morbid dread that something will happen to one of the incisions, and so I keep looking at them. Eww.
  • P.S.: The sutures really freak my kids out. Of COURSE I showed them!!
  • P.S.S.: Doctor Cowboy Boots destroyed my belly button. There goes my bikini modeling career.

Wednesday (day after my surgery) the mailman brought me the new DVD of The Office, Season 2, because he's been harboring a secret crush on me for quite some time. (That, or because I preordered it about a month ago. Hmm. )

The DVD is actually four DVD's, and is loaded with deleted scenes and duplicate versions of episodes with cast commentary which are hilarious. It's SO awesome. I heart Jim Halpert. The title of this post is a remark made to Michael by his boss Jan, of course.

It hurts to laugh. Ow!

PS: Hug a nurse today. Seriously, having a good recovery room nurse makes everything SO much easier.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Dear Gall Bladder

Even though my daughter persists in calling you Gold bladder (don't I wish),

you have to go.

Get your barely functioning (less than 10%? Really???) self outta me.

I'll make it easy for you. I found a cool surgeon who wears cowboy boots, and he didn't even get angry when I changed my mind about what hospital to go to. He's going to yank you out. See ya.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

New Stuff

I may not have a new backpack with all sorts of pockets, or even a new pair of sneakers(and I really need those), but here are some other new things that I've come across recently:

Ace of Cakes , a new show to catch on Food TV (but don't get me started on how almost everything I like on TV will air on THURSDAYS, while I'm busy with choir. DVR to the rescue!!)

Great American Country , a new channel I wish Time Warner would carry (because I'm missing the Trace Adkins special tonight!! Badonkadonk!)

Three new CD's I'd like to download:

What's new in your backpack these days? Comments, people!!

Vacation Day 3

It occurred to me today that two weeks have already shot by since my vacation.

This, of course, was not a happy thought.

Wednesday of our vacation, we went to Assateague Island. Wild horses roam free (my daughter had several logical questions, like "why don't the horses ever walk over this bridge to the mainland?" and funny remarks like "(hmmmph) all I've seen so far is horse poop." Ahh. Nice to know PMS is already kicking in, and she's not even a teenager yet.

We did see a few horses eventually...

and spent time on a gorgeous beach (there are several beaches and camping areas on the island, and no, the horses don't come on this beach, as far as I saw, anyway. The water is off to the right of this picture... I loved the whiteness of the sand and also the fact that there were no hotels on the skyline. I didn't actually get a photo of the shoreline itself, except for shots with my family members, and I won't put those in this blog.) More boogieboarding. Big fun.

Then we went to Hooters for lunch, which somewhat terrified my 9 year old son(haha, he looked down at the table almost the entire time), and then went shopping. I am not really "Outlet Girl" so that part was boring to me. I would rather be on the beach. That's what I drove 500 miles to see, if you know what I mean.

We went to a place called Harpoon Hannah's for dinner. Excellent, FABULOUS food. I had a 10 oz broiled lobster tail. It was great. Oh, and more strawberry daquiris. I wanted dessert, but knew it would be a Bad Idea after my big spinach salad(yummy), and the lobster. Also there is a Roll Lady, who walks around with a large basket of various types of bread and rolls. You can have as much as you want, and that's all she does. Everyone loves her, naturally. Too much food!

I believe Wednesday night was the night we played Carly's version of poker. Since we had small kids with us, I made up a game the others named "Auntie Up, Char". It's rather stupid. Everyone throws one chip in the pot in the middle of the table(there were 7 of us and we each started with 10 chips.) Then I dealt ONE card to each person. Aces were low, which my brother in law bitched about the entire game. If you thought you had a high card, you could put in another chip. Otherwise you had to fold. Whoever had the highest card got the hand. It only took about an hour for my BIL to get all of the chips. I think he cheated.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

My kids are driving me bonkers

One more day... then I will get to shove the little darlings onto the school bus.

Actually, my sister in law will, because I'll be off having more! tests! because if I do have gallstones, they are even less photogenic than fuzzy little Suri.

No, really. That baby is NOT cute, don't even try to tell me she is. That hair!!!

But back to MY kids. My son is apparently stressing out more than I thought about school. He has been doing weird things every day, with increasing frequency. For instance, 20 minutes after doing an art project, he will come to me and say that he's worried that glue might have gotten in his eye. Or if he's eating crunchy food, a half hour later he'll wander up to me and say that maybe something didn't go down, and he thinks it might be stuck, and what if it is? So I say "take a drink. Oh well, nothing came back... you're fine!" and resist the urge to kick him in the backside. Please keep in mind that the first 25 times he did something like this I reacted with a suitable amount of distress and sympathy. Momma's tapped out now. Momma has tried "are you excited about school" type questions, without much drama ensuing. Momma knows that THIS kid has plenty of friends and does fine with math, etc.

I'm going to curl up with a nice hot cup of tea and try not to even think about how my daughter sleeps until 10 am daily and needs to be up at 6 a.m. on Thursday.

Monday, September 04, 2006

I Washed My Face In The Shower.......

A couple of weeks ago when Daughter got braces, we had to watch a training video and it recommended using a Waterpik to really clean between teeth and around the hardware.

I bought one last week while I was spending most of my paycheck at Target, but since I was not feeling well, we haven't really gotten around to it, until last night.

Holy crap.

I could pressure wash my HOUSE with this thing. As far as I can tell, the pressure is not adjustable on the (cordless) model I have. I tried to help B use it the first time, and literally water went EVERYWHERE. The richochet factor on this puppy was incredible. On the mirror, all over the sink, all over me, all over her. We were laughing so hard, I could barely aim the thing at her poor beseiged gums.

Do I put a mirror up for her in the shower and say "good luck" ?? Any suggestions?

Saturday, September 02, 2006

They have meat snacks too

Since I am feeling only mediocre (and not downright wretched) this evening, I am going through the mail that was in the PTA mailbox.

I came across a free sample of Smencils. No, really. Not just scented pencils, gourmet scented pencils. (Aren't we supposed to keep kids from chewing on pencils?)

Here is the website.

I was busy mocking the pencil with Mr. C when Daughter came in, noticed it, and wanted the damn thing. Are you kidding me? I am NOT paying $260 for 500 pencils that smell like a piece of candy that rolled under the couch last December. (to be fair, maybe the peppermint one isn't the best one.)

I loves me some beef jerky. Kinda. Ok, well I don't. Does anyone still eat that stuff?

PS: did you all catch the NBC promo show, highlighting all the new shows of the season? It was fun seeing the Office skits mixed in, like the ransom note that came for Dwight's Bobblehead. The tiny bit of duct tape on the bobblehead's mouth was CLASSIC.

Friday, September 01, 2006

One of us has got to go

My gall bladder and I have been having a little feud. I'm getting tired of his antics.

There I was in my doctor's office yesterday, and all he did was press on my stomach, and Mr. Gallbladder made me wince and whine and feel nauseous. It's not every day a girl can get a doc to unzip her pants, and you go and ruin all the fun. That's not the half of it. You know, hanging around all the time for the past few weeks, making my side and my back ache, and oh, doubling me over now & then. That's the kicker.

Listen, GB, I don't need you, and if you keep this up, you're outta here. But did we REALLY have to do this on Labor Day effing Weekend? I mean, as it is, my ultrasound will probably be done by a janitor today, and the surgeon's cousin's boyfriend will probably take a crack at the laproscopy.

Don't think for a second that keeping me up all last night didn't really make me love you more.

Pffft. Have a good thought for me, ok?