Sunday, May 28, 2006


It's not about cookouts, camping, and beer.

It's about the 1,000,000 American soldiers who have died in war for our country.

At 3 PM on Monday, no matter where you are, stop and pause for a moment in gratitude.

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Ants in my plants

Well, I'm baaaaaaaaaaack. A little sleep deprived. I wrote bad haiku in the recovery room after my friend's surgery while I waited for her to not be pale and have gray lips anymore. I won't share. (It was about the fact that my tv was broken and we had at least 20 blankets - they were everywhere. )

The last few days have been a blur of try-to-eat-something, take-your-medicine, (HOW do people get addicted to hydrocodone? It really sucks) and so on. I feel a little disoriented.

Whenever I called home my son would barely talk to me even though he really missed me. Just one of those quirky things with kids.

I decompressed by working on my garden this afternoon. I weeded, chopped down sorry little bare tulip stems, planted several new flowers that I've never put in the garden before.

I was hot as hell and it was so humid that I almost passed out a couple of times; and I think I have a spider bite. Good times. But the garden is going to rock this year.

Monday, May 22, 2006


I've gotta go do a thing for someone, so I won't be around for a few days.

It's not you, it's me. Hahaha. Don't you hate it when someone tells you that?

Meanwhile here is a card I made for a friend. It's for her wedding and it's supposed to be signed by the choir (she is a member). The only problem is that they saw it, and they all think it's too pretty to write on. I'm really flattered but the POINT IS TO SIGN IT!!! So now I am going to bring a BLANK card next time I see them all, they can sign the blank one, and we'll tuck it into the pretty one. Or something like that.

In the words of Ahhhnold, "I'll be back."

Sunday, May 21, 2006

I have no opinion

Well last week or so Johnny V hinted that I rant a little too often.

Therefore, I have no opinion on any of the following:

  • the family who brought their baby to be baptised and actively played with the baby in the middle of mass, making faces and shaking her around so that Babygirl would laugh and shriek at eardrum-splitting levels. It's not like we were trying to sing in Latin or anything
  • the EFFING rain (wait, did I give away my opinion there?)
  • the kid at the First Communion service today who didn't know our Bishop's name when it was his turn to read it in the prayer of the faithful (thoughts: he should be hearing this name at mass each week... he is in second grade so he should be able to sound it out... and this bishop is often on tv)
  • my Dwight Schrute bobblehead being made in China
  • the fact that the memo about parking (which appears on the back of the bobblehead box) sounds suspiciously like one I actually got last month at work
  • Desperate Housewives because I don't care enough to watch for the last few weeks
  • LOST because my DVR gagged on it and wouldn't record it last week so I took that as a Sign

However I do have opinions on the following things, which are all awesome:

  • my neighbor who mowed my lawn in the 4 minutes that it wasn't raining on Thursday afternoon
  • Mother-son event for school - we go to a "sports barn" where the kids play in batting cages, we eat pizza, then play basket ball, kickball, etc. My baby and I got 5th in the obstacle course race. Not bad for a 40 year old chick who never works out(I wore my "slow - 40 year old at play" shirt)
  • the actual Dwight bobble head doll, because if I ignore the made in China part, there is something about watching that face with its smirk (here is a link for my friends in England) jiggle and bobble all around, that makes me laugh, and laugh, and laugh.
  • Stanley's cell phone ringing in the middle of mass. Truly awesome (recall, he is the organist.)

That is all.

Saturday, May 20, 2006

Ways to annoy me on a Saturday

If I have to be at church early on a Saturday morning to sing for a First Communion service, park a big utility truck in the middle of the road and put out lots of guys with flags so that I have to go a different way. Because there are only two streets that get me to this church and I just went past the other one.

If you are all dressed up in a nice blue suit because you are receiving your First Holy Communion, stand around in the driveway punching and shoving your best friends. Your mom won't care if you fall down and get your suit dirty before the service (actually, I have to correct myself on that one, but I'm not even going to think too hard about the fact that I had to tell you to stop and your mother was RIGHT. THERE. staring at me blankly while you were punching two other kids. OK so maybe YOUR mom doesn't care but their moms might.)

If you are sitting in the church waiting for the service to start, talk loudly. Read a newspaper. When the organist starts to play a nice piece of music, talk louder so that your friends can hear you over the noise. He'll notice.

In the middle of the service, sneak up into the choir loft and ask if you can take pictures from "up here". We're not doing anything. Don't mind us. They won't come out well anyway, you schmuck.


Friday, May 19, 2006


Ever say "just let me check my mail?" or "I'll be done in one more minute?"

People who suspect they or a loved one might be an Internet addict, Wieland says, can find out by taking a screening test outlined in the book "Caught in the Net - How to Recognize the Signs of Internet Addiction and a Winning Strategy for Recovery," authored by Kimberly S. Young.

(on CNN)

Can I get that online?

Google scares me

Ok, I've been busy lately (playing a huge practical joke on a co-worker that I will detail for you sometime soon) and my creative energies have gone toward

  • pretending to be busy at work (not for lack of work, but lack of any desire to DO my work)
  • ducking raindrops unsuccessfully(walked two blocks in the rain the other night because I had NO coat or umbrella, d'oh) and
  • the previously mentioned joke

So, taking an idea from Johhny V, I looked at what Google searches have brought people to my page.

Grey's shower spoof - (eight times) - well, it was good. Here is Jim kissing Pam on the Office. That should get me more hits. By the way, the DVD of the first season of the Office is hilarious. Deleted scenes, commentary from the cast, and so on. And my Dwight Schrute bobblehead doll has shipped! Yay.

dj Carly tell me where you are - (um, only one person "found me" this way but I'm moving. To Kansas. Yeah, Kansas.)

Fifel goes west (what the hell? that search took people to my page twice and yet when I do it I don't find my page. What is a Fifel? Why does it go west? Whaaaaaaaaaaat?)

Thursday, May 18, 2006

A little something

for my Grey's friends: shower spoof - about the middle of the clip (fairly short) it starts a spoof on George's shower dream

Tuesday, May 16, 2006


.... or is it Rachel... my friend's new tiny baby, who is YET to be named, has the cutest little tiny feet. Almost makes me want another. Key word, class?

On my way out of her hospital room I whispered to her "make sure they give you a name today" and reminded her five year old sister to "be sure you ask the nurse for the forms for your Big Sister Pledge". Heh.

There is almost nothing better than sitting in a great big wooden rocking chair, holding a baby that's not even 24 hours old. Wrapped up in that ubiquitous white hospital blanket made of thin flannel, with an ugly striped hat on her head, her eyes closed the entire time, now and then a tiny flicker of "a smile" passing across her lips while the angels whisper a few last-minute instructions to her..

...and knowing that you'll get to see her grow up, but you'll probably never have to change, burp, bathe her, or do her laundry. All the fun, none of the work. Wheeee!

About Greys, but not really

Did you see what happened last night on ABC?

No, I'm not talking about Denny's heart. Not really. (Pfffft.)

I'm talking about the fact that Dubya spoke, pre-empting Oprah. When Dubya was done, did ABC start Oprah's much ballyhooed "Legends" show?


They played a rerun of Grey's Anatomy, an episode that originally ran Sunday night. Why? So that they could start the final episode of the season at 9 PM sharp, and not risk the screaming and gnashing of 1,000,000 fan's teeth by messing with the evening's schedule, which would screw up TIVO's everywhere.

Think about that.

More Americans would rather see a bunch of slutty, unethical, selfish make believe medical interns, than Oprah and all of her "Aren't we special" friends.

Pretty sad, especially for Oprah. But it puts a little ray of sunshine in Carly's cereal.

Sunday, May 14, 2006


...necklace. Perfect for a beach in Tahiti and a pink bathing suit, don'tcha think?

Deliberately relaxed, vague and not counted. It was nice to spread out my beads and tools again and accomplish something.

Next up - a remake of the dragonfly necklace I sold just before Christmas.

Good Advice I Just Can't Take

I went to a wedding yesterday. The priest spoke of his parents, wed 50 years, and how on their 50th anniversary they each told him privately "I give up. I'll never change him/her."

I understand on a logical level that we shouldn't try to change the people in our lives. But on the emotional level I seem to be incapable of preventing myself from being agitated when people in my life do certain things. I am very weak in the "accepting someone for who they are" game. I can't roll with it; the wheels are square, and I lurch forward a bit, then sink down into the muck.

I find myself incapable of hugging my parents these days. I can't look them in the eye, and I feel like they really don't understand most of my life. They're not people I turn to for advice with any of my struggles. I can't take their manufactured drama, the obsession with the minute details of their utterly uncomplicated existence. I just want to scream, "live my life for a week, and then see how easy you have it, sitting in your house all day, not going anywhere or having anything people are demanding of you."

It's probably a bit pathetic that Post Secret makes me feel a little less freakishly weird. But I DO buy funny cards so I won't have to buy one that says "I love you."

Friday, May 12, 2006

Pits and Bieces

It's raining. Again. It's going to rain for the next four thousand days, apparently. I need to be at a nice Inn with a quilt and a book. Or a cute bookworm.

The Office last night? I love that Pam called her Mom and basically said "I think I DO love him". The kiss was excellent. But why didn't he say "I told you, you're lousy at bluffing" after he kissed her?? I know, I know. (I'm still waiting for my Dwight bobblehead. It was great when he kissed Angela and she smacked him, and walked away smiling.)

It's Mother's Day this weekend, so I am making brunch for my mother. Except, in my mother's world, it doesn't COUNT as brunch because I will not be having people over until 1:00. Yes, she really did say that. Issues, people. I have issues.

Anyway, I'll be busy with that, and I have a family thing to attend most of Saturday, so I won't be around much. But Mother's Day hugs go out to all my special people who work at the NICU, doing great things for teeeeeeny babies and their Mommies. Suzy, Amy, Amanda, (and someday Laurie, maybe!!) YOU GIRLS ROCK!!

Speaking of things doctor-ish, my friend is having hemorrhoid surgery. She went to the doctor, he covered her caboose with a paper "blanket", then tore a little hole in it to see, well, the moon but nothin' else. She had all she could do not to laugh hysterically. I need to collect jokes for her get well card. She'll be happy when this is all behind her. Hahahha.

Speaking of asses, this is funny because, well, I hated him. He thinks he's fabulous. I don't.

The tribe has spoken, and all that - don't forget to watch the wrap up of Survivor Sunday night!! (But tape the reunion, and watch Grey's Anatomy instead.)

Have a great weekend!!

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

In the words of Meredith

"...what did I do, what did I do, what did I do?"

no, I am not currently standing next to an operating table, with my hands inside a gaping wound, holding a round of live ammunition.

However, I am the co-president of the PTO for next year (PTA, PTO, same thing, ours is Parent Teacher Organization.)

Kinda scary. I have to actually be responsible, and do stuff.

PS: Actually I have to admit, I'll have fun, because the other officers are cool. But it's going to be quite the shock for people in my household who expect me to ALWAYS be around...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006


I love lilacs. I love the smell, the way they say "Spring is finally here."

Monday, May 08, 2006

Holy bugs

Yesterday when I was walking into church I was about to dip my fingertips in the holy water* when I saw one of these doing the ol' backstroke.

I fished him out with the tip of my sunglasses, lest he crawl up Aunt Edna's arm and cause an infarction. I kind of flicked him off of the glasses, and I lost track of where he went, so I couldn't stomp on him and say "Ugh, Ugh, Ugh..."

I went up stairs to the loft and told Bette I deserve combat pay, and told her what I had done. NO fewer than 3 ladies exclaimed "Oh, you didn't kill it, did you?? That's a holy bug. It was in the holy water." I think that two of them were kidding with me. The other one...

It's times like this that I think to myself "what did I do? what did I do?" because no one, in the Lutheran church I attended when I was growing up, ever warned me not to kill a millipede.

I looked down at my feet and mumbled "No, I didn't kill it" contritely (thinking "....because I couldn't find his creepy little body to crush it with the pointy toe of my Sunday shoes...")

*that particular marble "font" is cracked and leaks so there is a VERY elegant tiny little 1-cup tupperware oval in there, to hold the water. It's fabulous.

Today my son dragged me into his room and showed me his calendar. On every Monday of this month he wrote "Walk" because we agreed last Monday that it would be our day to walk together. Who needs a $5 Mother's Day card?

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Yes Sir

...that's my baby

My son's opening game was yesterday. Allow me to brag (if your eyes glaze over just be polite about it....)

  • He struck out in his first at bat.
  • Then he played second base for a while, and managed to catch a ball at the right time to tag a runner out.
  • Then he got a single in the next inning
  • Subsequent hitters ran him all the way home - yeah!!!
  • Then he was catcher for a while and AGAIN managed to catch the ball and tag a runner out (would have been a home run for the other team..... yeahhhhh!)

It was pretty rainy and annoying so it was nice that he did well.

It was a crazy weekend with the game, the school play, and whatnot. I need to go back to work so that I can get some rest. My back is better. Thermacare wraps are awesome.

Friday, May 05, 2006

The Crystals are all Virgins

So, I listen to the Tiffany Granath show on the way home from work every day. She's on the Playboy radio channel, on Sirius, at 2pm eastern time. It's never boring, because you never know what kind of advice / topics she'll be discussing. Education is a good thing. (snicker)

Today was not my favorite show, because she had this totally unique woman who was telling callers about their angels. Making up names for them, and shit. OK, she was plumb crazy. She also sells crystals, after she sleeps with them, to give them energy. And just in case you had any doubts, the title of my blog entry today is a direct quote from this fine Ferncliffe outcast.* Oh-kayyyyyy.

Moving on.

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

I'd planned on making some margaritas today, before I twisted a certain way and heard a peculiar POP emanate from my hip. Kind of like cracking a knuckle, but not. Owwww. Naproxyn and margaritas are not a loving combination. There's always next year.

Many years ago I was in Oregon for May 5th (on a business trip, sometime I will have to blog about the sweeeet car I rented) and they laughed at me there, about the crappy mexican food we have in upstate NY. They cooked for me, and I have to say it was FAR better than any of the crap you get in a chain restaurant.

Here are some wines you can pick up on your way to a party. I haven't tried any of them, but they're all recommended by the Wine Lover's Calendar by Karen MacNeil. I'm learning all sorts of trivia from this calendar. If you try one of these wines, please write to me and let me know how it is.

  • "If wine could be a margarita" writes the author: Highfield Sauvignon blanc (New Zealand, about $16) - limey, with notes of tropical fruit. Try it with salsa and chips, she says.
  • Another crisp medium bodied dry white is Veramonte Sauvignon blanc (Chile, $8), again she states that this wine has citrus and a hint of tropical fruit, bright and tangy.
  • If you prefer red, try Osborne Solaz, a cabernet sauvignon from Spain for about $7. Have it with a grilled burger, sez Karen- ole!

Have a good weekend! Cross your fingers for me that this back thing gets better SOOOON.

*(Ferncliffe is the name of the insane assylum on General Hospital)

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Quote of the day

This quote was on Post Secret from Sheldon VanAuken's book A Severe Mercy:

It is, I think, that we are all so alone in what lies deepest in our souls, so unable to find the words, and perhaps the courage to speak with unlocked hearts, that we don't know at all that it is the same with others.

Monday, May 01, 2006

Not Too Lost

This is a nice set of photographs.

I found it when I was trying to fix my tub. Note the use of the word trying, and the futile sound it carries. (Edit: she had the same problem with her tub, and I followed a link from her question on a plumbing forum or something, back to her home page... yes, a plumbing forum... I have such a dazzling life... but the pictures are beautiful)

I can't get the trip lever assembly and the plunger out, but the plunger is old and apparently corroded and is stuck, but it is stuck in such a way that the tub DOES drain. Amen.

I sprayed a bunch of wd-40 on it (yeah I know that won't work but I had to do SOMETHING) and wired it so that if it DOES loosen, it won't fall down all the way. (Next step is to call a real plumber.)

On the plus side, I did get a clog out (while my big tough 8 year old was gagging and running away at the sight of the nasty blobs of his sister's hair). SO maybe I won't be up to my cankles in water tomorrow for my shower!! Wheeeeeeeeeee!

The curve of her glass

So as I posted the other night, we went to Red Robin and Suzy had a very unique glass for her cocktail. She took an orange/vanilla nonalcoholic frozen drink and added Malibu Rum. Here she is hiding behind some trees with the glass,

and here is Suzy imitating that fine piece of glassware with her own stem:

See the resemblance? It's a lot funnier if you're having alcohol at the time. We tried to buy a glass but they have a waiting list. Sad, huh? I don't get out much anymore.

Last year for Easter our mother looked at Sue who was in this GORGEOUS strapless dress (kind of the same color as the shirt she's wearing here, and she had a sweater to go over it when she was in church) and my mother said "your butt looks like J-Lo's in that dress". She did this when I was nowhere in earshot to say "MOM!!!"

She looked awesome. She can laugh about it now but geeeez. I had to explain to my mother that it's NOT a compliment to tell someone their butt looks like J-Lo's especially if you do happen to ever actually speak to J-Lo. She makes a nice perfume by the way. I get compliments whenever I wear it but then inevitably I get asked what it is and I get so embarrased when I actually have to admit what it is. But I like it, so there.

Where was I ? Oh, last Easter... our father was trying to get her to keep her sweater on, at all times. (this would be related somehow to the fact that when we were in high school we had to do our suntanning in a tiny area between the pool, the red stockade fence, and the house -- so we absolutely could not be seen by anyone passing by our house which was NOT on the main drag in town, so... there you go)

These are the Kodak moments of our lives.