If I have to be at church early on a Saturday morning to sing for a First Communion service, park a big utility truck in the middle of the road and put out lots of guys with flags so that I have to go a different way. Because there are only two streets that get me to this church and I just went past the other one.
If you are all dressed up in a nice blue suit because you are receiving your First Holy Communion, stand around in the driveway punching and shoving your best friends. Your mom won't care if you fall down and get your suit dirty before the service (actually, I have to correct myself on that one, but I'm not even going to think too hard about the fact that I had to tell you to stop and your mother was RIGHT. THERE. staring at me blankly while you were punching two other kids. OK so maybe YOUR mom doesn't care but their moms might.)
If you are sitting in the church waiting for the service to start, talk loudly. Read a newspaper. When the organist starts to play a nice piece of music, talk louder so that your friends can hear you over the noise. He'll notice.
In the middle of the service, sneak up into the choir loft and ask if you can take pictures from "up here". We're not doing anything. Don't mind us. They won't come out well anyway, you schmuck.
Grrrrrrr.
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