Saturday, February 26, 2011


This is almost what it looks like when you are about to be walked out onto a basketball court and cheered.

You might tear up a little because you have been looking forward to this night for quite some time.

At a reception before the game you get interviewed by tv reporters and try to articulate how it feels to be there. The producer with the mike is smiling at you and saying "it's ok, you can do it" when your mind goes blank and you have to start over... (And your mind goes blank again when you see one of your favorite nurses from radiation and you can't remember her name but she understands, and assures you that it can take a year or so for some people to stop having trouble remembering names...)

The coach is making her way around the reception and she gives you a big hug and talks about the inspiration the team draws from this event and these women being recognized as survivors... and you think "Wait... Me?"

Suddenly the game is about to start. The stands are filling up despite the heavy snow that is still coming down. You are dancing to the band because they are awesome and waving to your family in the crowd. Suddenly it's your turn to be announced and a tall, beautiful young athlete leans down to hug you and says "congratulations!" and then escorts you through the arch of waving pom poms. The crowd is applauding and you are crying happy tears as you high five your way down the line of players and coaches stretched across the court.


Wednesday, February 23, 2011

For love

I went to get my hair cut tonight. Damn, it makes me happy just to say that.

There was a little girl sitting in the chair next to me, her wet hair in a braid. She was there to donate her hair to Locks for Love, but a major attack of nerves had set in.

Her hairdresser is a pal of mine, so I kind of whispered "can I talk to her?" and pulled out my iPhone. I still have a bunch of the photos I took last summer on it.

I pulled up the picture of me VERY bald wearing my "the chemo made me do it" tshirt and talked to her just for a minute about how a little girl would feel to be sick and bald. (I think I used the word sucks... I'm so sorry, Her-mom)

She got it together long enough to say yes, and Suzy chopped quickly and then it was done. We cheered for her. She looked at me, and said "thank you for encouraging me". Melt!

I found out later that she is seven years old

Monday, February 21, 2011

Wuhu my arse

Twice now I have gotten lost on this island, and a planned half hour bike ride becomes an hour.

Dear Wii developers, the tiny circle of map you show me sucks. I need a better idea of which way to go. Like to be able to see THIS type of map and where I am and which way I'm headed. A guided course would be less frustrating, and a nice alternative to the "hunt the flags" game.

The funniest part is if you throw yourself off a cliff or into water in despair, you instantly get placed back by the last flag you achieved. It might be halfway back around that damn volcano...but there you'll be, with your son snickering and your daughter saying "are you DONE yet?"

Then, even having your glasses off, you won't be able still to make believe you really ARE on that island.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Will winter ever end?

Taken on my way to work today. Original photo by Hipstamatic and then I modified it with PhotoStudio -both on my iPhone.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Morning shot

Sometimes I take photos on the way to work... I did postprocess this, but only to try to make it come close to how beautifully gold the sky was while I drove in today. By the way, it was MINUS SIX DEGREES. Dear winter, please GO AWAY.

Loving my job

Today my assignment was to test an iPhone/ iPad application. Awesome. And no, it wasn't that bogus confession app. WTF ever.

I also played solitaire for a while and wished I had a way to install Angry Birds. But our IT group wisely never told us the security code for the wireless router in our test lab. And this snazzy little snakeskin clad number does NOT know there is any wifi, no way, no how. :::sob:::

You can see the reflection of the skylight over my desk (the other day snow was blowing in via some wayward seam and filtering down ON MY DESK but I was out, getting my girls squished in the name of good health. Yay me!!! Six months since my cancer treatments finished!!!)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Mulling over

It's been six months since I finished treatments. I am feeling more ready than ever to move forward and spring clean, get back to photography and scrapping (for something BESIDES yearbook) and running (dear mother nature, seriously, warm it up, bitch....)

Talked for an hour with my sister about her baby, due this spring, and her baby shower and all sorts of other fun plans around that.

I need to wake up and get myself to work... Gotta stop staying up late to watch Top Chef and falling asleep mid episode! Couch sleep is baaaaaad.

Dear FX Studio, I love love love your iPhone app but it is not saving images right. I will eagerly await the next download. Smooches, Carly

Tuesday, February 08, 2011


I hate it when my photo edits don't save... Good thing I'm not a professional blogger...

On your mark

Made with FX Photo Studio

These are markers used for mammograms done post-surgery. They are placed on scars, and then the fun begins. I knew it would hurt to have my girls crushed between two acrylic plates...because my scars still ACHE some days.

I was doing ok with the pending appointment until last night when I started bitching at EVERYONE around me for laundry sins and other meaningless stuff. I was scared. 

Scared to go back to the place where I went 13 months ago for what I thought was a routine repeat mammogram. Scared of finding myself at square one again in a very unpleasant game. 

I called a friend on the way to the appointment. My too- far- away friend was there for me to call (sobbing) after every test I had in December '09 and was there again to listen today while I babbled about various nothings and got myself from point A to B. I couldn't do days like today without my friends. 

Another friend met me for lunch and then sat in the waiting room while I had my 'photo shoot'....

The technician was as gentle as possible. But eff me, it really hurt. She had to do at least five angles on each side and each one hurt so much... But just for a few seconds. The crush was all I could think about...   The instruction 'stop breathing' was almost unnecessary.  But the mote you compress, the better the images.

She asked the radiologist to review my pictures before I left, per normal procedures, and hugged me after telling me they looked good. 

In six months I get to do it all again. Um, yay?

Monday, February 07, 2011

Fun and games

So I saw a game somewhere, either in Rachel Ray's magazine or in spam (wait, same thing) and it was a sort of super bowl commercial bingo.

Couldn't find it later when I wanted it so I made up my own. A hit for the kids- glued to commercial (candy bar then points for commercial with the elements combining in your square...most points at end of game got an iTunes gift card. ... It was a shoe in for kid w movie/ famous actor - that was dumb of me. But luck for him, since they didnt see the categories while writing their names thanks to two whole sheets of paper. And cats? WTF was I thinking? I wrote down some of the categories I missed or that sucked, to improve it next year (I had sized it based on how many kids were coming and this isn't the final version... I took electronics out and that was bad...)

Lastly, a few comments. No cheerleaders, and two teenage boys at mi casa. Hahahaha especially no DALLAS cheerleaders. Kind of a shame really.

Black eyed peas- love /hate (I like their older stuff better)but why does NFL always totally suck their sound quality for game show? Geeez really.

Xtina is an alto and that glee chick I can't stand is clearly a soprano. Get over your ego and trade songs. It would have been so much better.

We skyped most of the game with my cousins in Tennessee and it was so awesome because the boys (mine, hers) had a giant bet and they are merciless gloaters.

Ugh. I'm parched and I gotta go to work. (hey, I got a raise! They like me!!! Yahoo!)

Stupor bowl p1

Raise your hand if you are/will be late to work today...

I made this awesome cheese fondue (yep, beer in it) and confirmed that people will NOT voluntarily eat veggies even slathered in cheese. Most of the cheese and bread are gone, but half the veggies- hmmmm. On the plus side I know what I'm having for dinner!!

I baked a second pan of brownies at the last minute and it went totally weird. Didn't set right at all; then we tried to rebake and the middle puffed up while the outer edges burned. Fumble!! To the trash.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011

In which I stew the groundhog

I have caught myself several times in the past day or two, making several threats against the person (?) of the Groundhog. You know, THAT ONE that should be telling us it will be an early spring. Except, don'tcha know, it's CANCELLED. This winter is so bad the groundhog isn't coming, kids.

Are we having fun yet? I am hoping that the coldest winter will yield the most beautiful spring. I can't help it. It's how my mind works now. If we have to go through all of this crap, may we each find something wonderful comes of it.

I worked from home today, bully be damned. If need be, I will point out to him that he has never -no, not even once, signed my time sheet, and there's a darn good reason for that. My boss scared me a little today when she set up a recurring meeting, the first of which is 9 am tomorrow. We will be in the thick of the second wave of this whomping storm by then... so I nervously sent her an instant message: "Um, tomorrow? When it's all blizzardy?" to which she replied "Yup."

Oy. So I thought about braces and other good ways (not) to spend a few grand that I may not have if I lose this jobaroooni and I replied "I will do my best to be there on time." I think then she realized I was praying to Saint Bernard and his rescue dogs not to have to drive tomorrow. "Oh, no, I'll probably reschedule THAT one." (thank you thank you thank you)

Today I was scanning baby pictures for the yearbook after I worked. I was mulling over all of those tiny babies, and knowing the teenagers they have become, and knowing how they are struggling this year to get along with each other and stay on the right path. So, it was bittersweet.

I did come up with a solution for my Sunday blues, however. I informed my older child that she needs to plan on coming HOME on at least SOME Sundays for sports, food, and laundry. Bring a friend, or two. I don't really care what ball the people on tv are knocking about. She needs to get home on a regular basis and let me feed her and wash her 1000 outfits to ease me through giving her up to the big wide world. (Seriously. How do my children get SO MANY CLOTHES DIRTY????)