Friday, June 30, 2006

Water everywhere

This is a park near where I live... the stairs normally go to a wide sidewalk that goes along to the brick building. The docks are usually about 10 feet lower than right now. So, if this isn't clear, the water all along between the docks and trees SHOULDN'T BE THERE. It is normally grass, a 6' wide sidewalk, and the wall of a canal to which the docks are attached.

This was about noon today; the water has actually RECEDED since last night. But this still screws us out of our 4th of July fireworks! (Carly pouts....)

How my day is going so far

...the artist formerly known as Basil.... I told you I have a black thumb. Plants need water. But not TOO much water. Pffft. Plastic seems the way to go here.

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

iPod Shuffle

I don't have to go to work today!!!! Happy, happy me.
I have time to lie about the house and do silly meme's.

1. Put your iPod on shuffle.
2. Press forward for each question.
3. Use the song title as the answer to the question.

How am I feeling today? Back 2 Good - matchbox 20

Will I get far in life? Bop to the top (that's my daughter's darn High School Musical CD - aaagh!)

How do my friends see me? Nobody knows me like you -Phil Vassar (I wish.... wink)

When will I get married? When -Shania Twain (If elephants could fly, I'd be a little more optimistic....)

What is my best friend's theme song? The woman with you - Kenny Chesney

What is the story of my life? Where I come from - Alan Jackson

What was high school like? Here to forget - Phil Vassar - hmmm, how true

How am I going to get ahead in life? To where you are - Josh Groban

What is the best thing about me? You found me - kelly clarkson

How is today going to be? If my heart had wings... Faith Hill (".... I would lie beside you as you dream....")

What is in store for this weekend? Chrome - Trace Adkins - wooooohooooo!

What song describes my parents? Running - No Doubt. Shoot, that's true. They're always running out my door.

What song describes your grandparents? for some reason "When" came up again so I am going to lie and pretend that it was Somewhere Over the Rainbow- Israel Kamakawiwo because I love that song and it was in Beth's blog.

How is my life going? How bad do you want it - Tim McGraw

What song will they play at my funeral? I'll take that as a yes (the Hot Tub Song) - Phil Vassar. Hmm. Decorum?? Not so much.

How does the world see me? Hollaback Girl - Gwen Stefani

Will I have a happy life? Better days - Faith Hill

What do my friends really think of me? Get'cha Head in the game (HSM.....grrrr)

Do people secretly lust after me? Being Drunk's a Lot Like Loving You - Kenny Chesney. (OUCH! I loved till I stumbled, I loved till I fell, When the When the lovin was over it hurt me like hell )

How can I make myself happy? Bring on the Night - Police

What should I do with my life? Should have been a cowboy - Toby Keith

Will I ever have children? Stacy's Mom- Fountains of Wayne (noooo! no more kids!!!)

What is some good advice for me? Something's broken - Tim McGraw

What is my signature dancing song? It only Hurts when I'm breathing - Shania Twain (hahahaha)

What do I think my current theme song is? Live like you were dying - Tim McGraw

What does everyone else think my current theme song is?I will remember you - Sarah McLachlan

What type of men/women do you like? This ain't no thinking thing - Trace Adkins

What kind of kisser are you? I like it, I love it - Tim McGraw

What's your style? I'm a believer - Smash Mouth

What kind of lover are you? Mustang Sally - Burners UK

What would be playing on a first date?Hey Baby - No doubt

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?Free - Faith Hill

Note: since I did this off my daughter's new iPod, it only had 250 songs to pick through; that's why it's so heavy on the country music! I snuck a few songs onto it, to try to broaden her horizons.

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

My baby

...won the first place pitching award for his whollllllllle bantam league.

Wooooooh! Guess that less than stellar performance the other day was just an off day.
But I still have the sunburn, and the memories.

Monday, June 26, 2006

busy busy

where did the weekend go?

.... probably down a storm drain. It's raining AGAIN. Surprise!

On Saturday I sat and fried in the sun while Son played his last baseball game. (I use "played" to mean "stood lethargically in the sun while the grounders rolled by him" and "got hit by a pitch and struck out". Not our best day.) I am the coolest mommy in the world. I mean, how many other moms cover their legs with the "bag" from a "chair-in-a-bag"? Really. Total class act. All of the coaches want me. If those damn weathermen had the FAINTEST IDEA that it would be sunny, I would have had sunscreen on my pasty white self.

Saturday evening the choir sang for our friend's wedding. Her mom looked like she wasn't a day over 35. What a dish. She was absolutely a beautiful, elegant woman in a strapless red column dress. I felt like I was truly her match in my shorts and sleveless shirt (all the better to display my tribal /lobster markings.) I was amused by one bridesmaid's tatoos (little angel wings on her shoulderblades).

Yesterday was a blur of housework, groceries, and so on.

I had to work all day today. So, now I am very tired. Adios! Au revoir. Auf wiedersehen.... and Aloha.

Friday, June 23, 2006

Keep talking

Today was the memorial service for my Great Aunt, Helena. Someone once said to me that a person is not truly gone as long as someone remembers them. That philosophy stuck with me. It is part of my enjoyment of scrapbooking. Put the stories down on paper, so that people will understand what's really happening in the pictures.

Above is a picture of Helena and her brother. Only one remains with us (the youngest, Freddie, in the center). This is one of the photos I put into an album, when we found my Aunt's photos of her family.

There were only a few people gathered for the service. I brought the album, and tried to explain to my son and daughter on the way there, that she had been cremated already and what that meant.

It was wonderful to see my father's uncle recognize himself in the photos (he is 92). One or two of his comments told me that I have people identified wrong. The person I thought was his grandpa, he was calling Uncle Earnest fairly consistently. Hmm. So now I plan to visit him and his wife with the book and hope that he can recall enough for me to preserve the correct information.

I wasn't sure I liked the pastor at first, but he seemed to know my Aunt well, and so I actually enjoyed his eulogy. He spoke of how pleasant it was to have a conversation with Helena - she was very talkative, but was a well educated woman, and always reading and keeping informed on current events. Her voice had a melodic quality that made it seem like she was almost singing to you. She never spoke sharply, but she would let you know clearly how she felt about the topic at hand, and she was tenacious. She generally got what she wanted.

I learned that she had many arts & crafts hobbies, which I guess I hadn't recalled from when I was younger. (A-hah! if you know me, that will definitely ring a bell... I'm forever trying new hobbies, collecting supplies, then moving on to the next new obsession)

I knew that she loved to travel, and would pack a bag on a moment's notice to go off on an adventure. (I have slides from her travels around the world. Stay tuned...) It never occured to me that I am like her in that way. I love to go somewhere new, try something different. She exposed me to the ballet for the first time. We didn't have much money when I was growing up, so to go to a performance like that was a pretty big deal for me.

Some of the family members present shared some memories (at the urging of my uncle, who is VERY quick to tell a dirty joke but equally able to pull out a sentimental little speech at the right times).

My father visited her many times during her four years in the nursing home. I never went, because she was very confused at times, did not remember many people, and it would have agitated her. But she remembered my parents since they visited weekly, and the last time my father saw her, he said that her birthday was coming up soon, and she remembered - "Oh! May 31." She didn't know that she was going to be 97, but I can hear in my head how she would have answered the question.

When it was my turn I mentioned "the room" at her house, the front bedroom where she kept her treasures and her art stuff, and how much I had enjoyed sneaking in there when I was a small child attending a family gathering. She would often come up with a little object of some sort for us to bring home. I mentioned one of her paintings which Sue has now, that she will treasure, and the cards Helena always sent us on our birthday. It was pretty much the same every time. A very quaint old style floral picture on the front, and inside a crisp five dollar bill, with a notation "Please buy something you would enjoy with the enclosed ". The cards came on birthdays and at Christmas-time without fail. Sue still has her last card. When I mentioned the notation nearly every head in the room nodded.

Then the fun REALLY started. You know there's one relative in every bunch who's the talker, right? You thought it would be me.

My father's cousin William stood up. Think Jack Nicholson approaching 75*. The same hair, the glasses, the green jacket. As I recall William worked "in radio" for a time. He can talk! He spoke for about 25 minutes. There were tidbits I didn't know, like the fact that Helena got her own home when she was in her 40's, (the house I remember) and previously had lived right next door. That she had gone the day after graduation to apply for the state job she held for so many years. She knew what she wanted, and didn't want to wait.

*how old is Jaaaaaaaack?

William has a habit of speaking with his eyes closed. My son asked me (in the car, thank god) whether he was blind. I said "No, but I always wondered that too when I was your age because I'd see him at a family gathering, he'd sit in a chair the whole time, and speak with his eyes closed")

There were some amusing side tangents he went off on, that bordered on hilarious. One was when he mentioned Helena breaking a hip, and how often that signals the approaching end because of course when a horse breaks a leg they're generally put down, except for that one that just won the Kentucky Derby. Really... he said all of that. Tthere were quiet giggles from the back of the room and a few gentle rebukes. ('William, we have a reservation at the restaurant...")

The he came back around to Helena and how shortly after she broke her hip she had to go into the nursing home. But where he went from there was pretty cool. He spoke of her again as a traveler and mentioned that she was impatient in the nursing home at times, true, but that was because she knew that she was waiting to begin her final journey, that would take her to be with her parents and her other brothers.

Sometimes you just have to listen for the gems.

In my dreams I'll always see you soar above the sky,
In my heart there will always be a place for you, for all my life,
I'll keep a part of you with me,
And everywhere I am, there you'll be.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Not surprising

So, the choir is singing for a wedding Saturday. We don't ordinarily do this, but Bride is a member of the choir.

We got together tonight to rehearse, and everyone handed me a few dollars so that I could put some crisp green moolah into the card that I made.

Everyone, except one person. Any guesses? Arrgh. It's not Mickey, Nicky, or Vicky, ya know.

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

Buy this


Really, this is the best damn oven mitt in the world. No stains, no gunk, it won't scorch you if it gets wet. Pampered Chef products are excellent.

PS: School's out! I have no homework for two months.


Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Yeah, hi


The end of a school year always kills me.

Pool day, amusement park day, crap like that. I'm paying so much money each month for tuition!!! You are dragging my kids all around the county and not TEACHING THEM STUFF.

Whatever. I've surrendered.

I always forget until the VERY last minute that I really should send in a little gift for the teachers. D'oh. Ran out at lunchtime today to get "simply certificates" (they can use to eat out at their favorite restaurant. How many mugs/apples do teachers need, really?) Tomorrow is the LAST. DAY. OF. SCHOOL. Praise the deity of your choice. Karma, whatever - I'm really not choosy. I'm so effing happy I don't have ANY HOMEWORK FOR THE NEXT TWO MONTHS.

Today at 5 pm I was sitting in my car waiting for Daughter to get back from amusement park day. It was an excellent thunderstorm. Problem 1: Son is afraid of thunderboomies, and we were in my car. Problem 2: He had a baseball game at 6 PM. Somehow, the storm passed and we still had the game. His last game. Out of about 16, he's played FOUR, and I've seen two. Rain sucks. (Usually)

My friend saw Jack last night, at a political fundraiser, and teased him about Chico. ("Where's Chico?" "I dunno!" ) Bahaha! He must think everyone in the company knows about this joke. If this makes no sense, refer to the "Where's my Pace hat?" link at right. I STILL don't know if he's seen the video. It was excellent. Thanks Johnny V!!

I'm so frustrated that I don't sit near Jack anymore. I can't hear him open my mail!! Oh well. I have a plan. I have a friendship emerging with someone cool who sits right near him. She might spy for me. Lest you think I'm a terrible person, I honestly do like her and we talk about various Things I won't detail here - just common ground -- but my point is I'm not one to blatantly use a friendship, unlike some people I know. (Refer to post around last May about an friendship I ex-ed. Do I miss Joyce? noooooooooooo.)

PS: the caveman / Geigo ad makes me want to barf. Seriously. It sucks.


Sunday, June 18, 2006


It's been spring forever, very rainy, very boring, and school has been slowly winding down, and all of a sudden SLAM, it's summer, and 90* today. Which of course means pool time with Suzy today (shhhhh, don't tell my kids.....)

So why are there still hockey games on TV? How long DOES that season go on anway? Aren't the four seasons of the year football, basketball, baseball and soccer? Seems like it with my son. ( I cleverly talked him out of playing soccer this fall. My alternative is to go quietly bananas in September when I have 12 million things to do, and I'm sitting on a soccer field. It was not very hard to convince him that he's not all that interested in it anymore, so I don't feel too guilty.)

Snuck up to the choir loft today. I like going up in the summer, I sing duets with Bette and get to listen to Stanley's one-liners. We're officially on hiatus for the summer but I would rather be up there, catching a slight breeze from the windows and poking through the old music.

This is my last week of "short days" at work. Normally I work Monday through Friday and I leave at 2pm. During the summer I work 3 days a week, 8 to 5. By "8" I mean "I often get there somewhere around 8:12" and by "5" I mean "I leave a few minutes early if I can help it." I really need to work on that.

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Good art

This is the kind of thing I like to hang in my cubicle so that I can pretend I'm not chained to a desk "pushing paper" all day long. Because it's digital paper, but it's still just as bad.

Willie Holdman

Friday, June 16, 2006

ABC me

kind of fun...
ACCENT: new yawk, just a little. I was born in the Bronx an hour before that giant blackout.


CHORE I DON'T CARE FOR: plunging the effing toilet when my kids jam it up with 12,000 sheets of toilet paper.

DOG OR CAT: no way, are you kidding me? I have two kids, that's mess enough

ESSENTIAL ELECTRONICS: Sirius(you knew this one right?)

FAVORITE COLOGNE: Hmmm. "Slightly sweaty guy". I hate cologne clouds.

GOLD OR SILVER: white gold - so there.

HANDBAG I CARRY MOST OFTEN: I believe I lack the female "must carry big bag-acus" gene. I like random small ones. One card (debit).

INSOMNIA: yes... I do not sleep through the night. I wake up in the wee small hours and feel very alone hearing the soft zoom of trucks drive by on the highway near my house.

JOB TITLE: Senior Business Systems Analyst. (nothing to do with my age, thanks)

KIDS: yup...

LIVING ARRANGEMENTS: shacked up in a tiny 3 BR with 1.5 bath, but a nice family room and yard

MOST ADMIRABLE TRAIT: Um, dunno. Seriously. Well, good sense of humor (I hope)

NAUGHTIEST CHILDHOOD BEHAVIOR: stealing the paper boy's money around age 10 (Suzy did it too!!)

OVERNIGHT HOSPITAL STAYS: two kids, plus my heart surgery two years ago.

PHOBIAS: drowning's high up there...

QUOTE: changes from day to day.... To the world, you may be just another (guy), but to me, baby you are the world.

RELIGION: raised Lutheran, converted to Catholic for various reasons, some of them being the right ones... I sing in the choir now


TIME I WAKE UP: 5:30 a.m.....wahhhhhhhhh.

UNUSUAL TALENT OR SKILL: counted cross stitch? cake decorating? OK, those are dorky hobbies but I like them. Oh wait - doing wierd math problems in my head and thinking aloud and having Suzy go "how do you DO that?" (like what something costs if it's 30% off or something stupid like that)

VEGETABLE I REFUSE TO EAT: Most. Which would be why I'm feuding with my scale.

WORST HABIT: Obsessing over small details that somehow seem HUGE to me

X-RAYS: uh... when I had the flu for 3 weeks they did various test to make SURE it was just the flu. Oh, and I've had my boobies done... get a mamogram today, girls. Great fun (smoooosh)

YUMMY STUFF I COOK: breads... cheesecake... cookies...

ZOO ANIMAL I LIKE MOST: giraffes are kind of cool. Lions too.

tag yourself... play along if you want...

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Moving day

Moving is a giant pain in the ass.

My co-workers and I have been moved from one side of the floor to the other. I was sort of the "coordinator girl" because I am a suckup and told my boss I'd be happy to do it. I think it's Big Fun. I know I'm a dork, I wear it proudly. But who will be laughing at bonus time? That's right, ME, bitches. Bosses hate this crap because all everyone does is complain, so my boss loves me right now. She didn't have to listen to all of the whining today that I just let rollll right off me.

Some people moved twice, because they had to move over to my side, to get out of the way, and then they had to move back to our brand spanky new cubes. One girl said to me "the next time I'm going to pack my stuff is to quit this job." Some people are so cranky. (Said girl is in her 30's. Why do I think of my peers as girls and guys rather than grown women and men? Discuss.)

Moving is FUN, people! Go through your stuff and see how useless all of those papers are that you carefully file in desk drawers. (I have approximately 10 manilla folders. I have been doing my present job for :::thinks:::: eight years. It's the digital age, people. Don't save paper. Unless it's scrapbooks. But that's a completely different post.)

I personally packed all of my stuff into two boxes. (the boxes are about 8x10x18" or so.) This was only because I had a bunch of different flavors of tea bags, my small christmas, um, HOLIDAY tree that I put on my desk, my rock collection, and photos of my kids. Otherwise, it would have been one box.

It's funny to see how much shit people will actually put right out on their desk. I have 3 or 4 magnetic frames that I use to display photos of Daughter and Son, right on my overhead cupboards (which are largely empty). Other people have 12 framed pictures of their kids on their desk... of their TWO kids... Hello, each year, put the new picture in the same frame, over the old one.

It amuses me that the people who I see doing the least work have the most chochtkes in their office and they're SO BUSY THEY CAN"T FIND TIME TO PACK. ( Affix velcro to forehead and wrist, press together, sigh...)

The biggest geek in the department could not properly label his boxes, and I had to open them to find out whose they were. (There is a square at one end of the box that indicates "PUT LABEL HERE" in 56 point type. Book smart, no common sense. I think some embryos wait in only one line, and get the end of day "take everything that's left" deal, and forget to go get in the other line. The angels just laugh at them.)

Another fun thing is the guy who told me 42 times today "I don't have my phone yet. " It got to the point where just for fun I would walk by his office and say "did you get your phone yet?" (This was actually Jack, who I'm torturing with the whole Pace Hat gig. So I did get him his phone right after lunch, as soon as I found the ONE Phone Guy who was assigned to move some 200+ phones today.)

Despite my 6 or 7 email reminders, no one who moved went back to put a chair in their old office. So I was paid an obscene amount per hour today to push chairs around my floor. I'm fine with that.

The most important facet of my personal move is that my Sirius radio still picks up an excellent signal. I know you were all worried about that, so you can rest easy now. The girl who sits two cubes away from me can not get a signal. She has a much nicer Sirius receiver than me (records and saves up to 50 hours worth of programming or something like that) but her antenna is apparently much more fickle. Go figure.

Well, that's about all I have to say about moving. I'm having a big glass of wine and it's kicking in, so I'm going to put my feet up and order a pizza. Adios everybody! Throw away some clutter today!

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

When the stars go blue

Tim & Faith


Gotta Have Faith


last night I saw Faith Hill & Tim McGraw.

The show was great, but me being ME, I have a few things to say.

Dear Faith,

Girl... the outfit? You are a megamillionaire. You were wearing an outfit I might wear to work if I were so inclined. Gray pants and a black blouse? Honey. I know, I know, you had a great jacket on at first, which vanished right after your first song. Yes, this arena is always so Em-effing hot. Sorry about that, but aren't you from the south??

The black sneakers.... sneakers! I did not pay $100 to see you in anything less than 3" heels. You are a supermodel. Just breathe. Work it, girl. You can try to fake it by bouncing on your toes if you want to but I'll still notice. You're beautiful* , in the plainest outfit possible with fugly sneakers.

Now, I realize that you have that funky-cool stage that is actually a giant glass video monitor. It rocks, really. I'm sure that sucker is slippery especially when Tim throws water at the crowd.
Do you nag him about that? I noticed you two did NOT look at each other once until your very last two songs. I'm sure he's a real good man... but were you fighting last night???

It was interesting the way you arranged the sets. It must be fun rising up out of the stage for the opening duet with him. Then he goes away, you do your set, then he comes back for more duet fun, then you go away... he does his set, you come back for that duet that sounds like something Johnny Cash and June might have sung... then you wrap it up. It's all good. Well, most of it.

I'm a little bummed that you spent a lot of your time facing the OTHER side of the arena, but your big screen tv's made up for it.

But really. Fire whoever dresses you. You should have shoes that you can move in, that are a tad more Diva at the same time, and cooler clothes (in so many ways). You've got the money. You've got MY money!

Also, I hate to seem like I am really bagging on you, but what is with your hair? Long extensions. No curls? and the plain, plain style. You grabbed a couple of bobby pins to hold a piece or two behind your ears before you rose up out of that trap door. No, woman, no cry. ** Just get your hair done when you're going to sing in front of 16,000 people.

I would be severely remiss if I did not say that your voice was fantastic last night. Absolutely sublime. So what if most of the chicks in the arena were just waiting for you to be done so the guy in the red shirt would appear? Fireflies.

My sister is having a spasm right now reading these words, but... mehhh... I'm not a huge Tim fan... frankly, it's like we never loved at all. I find him to be a snoozer. I guess it's just the cowboy in me.

The biggest problem I had with the concert was the pacing.An uptempo song, a little bit of momentum would build, then everything would grind to a halt with a slow song. Something like that. Put the entire set list to a CD and listen and you'll see what I mean.

Oh, by the way, could you let Tim know that I paid to hear HIM sing too, not for him to stand there and hold the mike? (.... so that the crowd could do a karaoke version of his song, and then cheer for themselvesssszzzzzzzz) I mean, I like it, I love it... but tell HIM to sing.

The crowd.

Oh, the crowd. I love the way you love me. Honestly, at any given time there were LITERALLY 500 people walking up and down in the aisles, going for a beer then getting a pretzel then going for another beer and omygosh now I have to use the bathroom and SIT DOWN PEOPLE, YOU PAID $100 TO PLANT YOUR ASS IN A SEAT TONIGHT SO JUST DO IT ALREADY AND GET OUT OF MY WAY.... fine, fine, go get a beer but don't take the girl.

Yeah, I am a little tired today from sitting in the traffic jam after the show. But it is well with my soul. I'm sure there will come a day when you'll be around here again and I'll be back to see you.

Live like you were dying. Just work on the sneakers. If nothing else, the sneakers.

Your friend,

* didn't sing that one... darn it....

** yeah, they really DID sing a reggae song. I am not even sure I can SPELL reggae correctly.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Buy this

Joss Stone, Kelly Clarkson, and a tie dyed shirt, in a blender. Buy it. Play it. Play it again.

Try this link, but don't hate me if it doesn't work:

Sandi Thom - I Wish I was a Punk Rocker


Today my great Aunt Helena passed away. She was 97.

I have her bible sitting on her desk in my front room, and one of the verses marked inside the front cover is Psalm 105,

(4)Remember me O Lord, with the favour that thou bearest unto thy people: O visit me with thy salvation;

(5)That I may see the good of thy chosen, that I may rejoice in the gladness of thy nation, that I may glory with thine inheritance.

Sunday, June 11, 2006

my Basil is dying

I got a flower pot full of basil seedlings from my son for mother's day. My heart sank.

I have a black thumb. These suckers don't have long to live. The decline has begun. I've overwatered them because the dirt at the top of the pot always felt dry. They were wilting so I watered more. There were about a billion little tiny unsuspecting plants, and many of the smallest have already faded away.

I've moved most of them to a flower pot out on death row (aka my deck).


I do not need this on top of the "omg it's finals this week" tension in our house. English, math, science. Is it Thursday yet?

Saturday, June 10, 2006

More Chico Fun

The other day I ambled into Jack's office and pretended to know NOTHING about the whole Chico/ Pace hat gag. He made it clear that I am a suspect since I sit on the other side of the common cubicle wall that the hat was encroaching on when it was stolen. I stayed cool though, smirking and asking dumb questions about the general plot (this came very easily to me, naturally). I left it with "I'm afraid I can't help you with this, Jack" and his retort of "Oh, I bet you can".

After an "omg, omg" whispered conversation with my friend who sits next to me, we have decided to hope that he has NO idea who's doing it and is just grasping at straws and accusing everyone near him. (Since, he told my boss that he suspects the OTHER girl who sits next to me.)

Johnny V was talked into filming a decoy movie for me. The crucial elements are that it's on another floor of our building (which is clear to anyone who works there) and that the donkey goes into the men's room. It's up on the Where's my pace hat blog.

We missed the actual premiere of the movie on Jack's PC. Darn it! We are hoping it gets some attention Monday while we're around to listen.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

Where have YOU been?

Well, let's see.

I know, I've missed you too. It's not you, it's me. Actually, it's BLOGGER, which seems to crash a lot the last couple of days (usually, when I want to post.)

I had a few of my PTA partners in crime (oooh, that just sounds bad) over on Monday night. I ran around cutting up some fresh fruit and thawing bonbons and making sure I had a cooler of soda & wine on the deck. They ate almost nothing. The funny part was Mr. C had assisted in cleaning the ENTIRE house (why do you think I invite people over? works every time) and these women literally walked in the front door and out onto the deck and stayed there the entire night. It was a working meeting, so I can understand, but.... isn't that always the way?

Tuesday was this year's Dance Recital/dress rehearsal. I help my friend take portaits of all of the little darlings. You recall, last year, I ranted about Moms who try to use our backdrops. You know, "girls, stand here and I'll take your picture". Um, no, sorry, but you can let them stand there and I will take their picture. You pay me. That's how this works. The owner of the dance school did not rent our backdrop. She allowed us to come and sell our photographs but she's not giving us any fee. This year I actually got into it with one of the Moms.

Most people PURCHASE the group shot of their little darling's tap class, for $8. But a few people stand right behind the photographer and try to shoot a quick one with their digital camera. Dammit. I do not go into your home and help myself to your stuff!! What I typically do (at the request of the photographer who owns the business) is remind the Moms when they whip their cameras out while we're getting a group lined up on the backdrop, that our
company's policy is that they not take photos on our backdrop. There are several signs posted to that effect that we politely point to. (Let me point out that a professional photographer's backdrop costs in the neighborhood of five to eight HUNDRED dollars. OK? )

SO I said my usual "Ladies, please, I need to ask you not to take pictures of the girls while they're on our backdrop" and this one bitch wheeled around and said "You don't have to yell at us." I looked her straight in the eye and said "Ma'am, I'm not yelling at anyone." At this point I flashed back to my father who would often pound his fist on the table and shout "I'm not yelling!" -- but anyway. I actually was NOT yelling. Some of you who "really know
me" have seen me pissed. I was actually amused, for the most part.

She went on and on, "yes you are, you've been yelling at people and being very rude all night and lots of people are talking about it." Kiss my curvy ass, lady, you're the one being rude right now. It was kind of funny because I'd actually only done my "please don't" thing twice the entire evening.

I then pointed out that "Ma'am, I'm just doing my job." She went on and on about how she's paying good money for photographs, and I said "then why do you need to take that picture? You will get one group photo free with any package purchased, and the photographers are just trying to earn a living, you know." At this point I was annoyed. I have to admit she did push my buttons a little bit.

Well, she asked if I owned the company. I smiled and said "I do not." The owner, who I have known since 7th grade, was standing next to me. The woman asked for her business card. (Why??? So she could call and yell some more??? D'oh.) Liz pointed out that her phone number is on all of the order forms. At that the woman stormed away. Bye now.

Last year I had someone argue with me but she at least has the class to come back a while later and say "You know, I'm really sorry, I was wrong, and I apologize." This one never did. I'm losing SO much sleep over it. Snicker. Incidentally, she still hasn't called Liz.

TIM MCGRAW AND FAITH HILL are going to be singing up in my neck of the woods soon and I'm going to make the trek with my sister. I can't freaking wait. I am bringing my daughter as a reward for her hard work all year. The school year is almost over and it has been grueling. She does homework from 3:30 to 5:30 each day and often has a test to study for after dinner. This is after being up at 6:30 to get to school by 8, home at 3. In addition she had a substantial amount of homework over Christmas, Easter, and Spring breaks, as well as most weekends. I feel like she has this giant monster on her back and she hasn't had any respite since September.

We are actually right on the edge as to whether she will pass science or not, but she did get a good grade on "the skeleton" test. It was a 96!!! Yehah! It is clear, however, that we are bound for the IEP path once again. We are currently undergoing the process of getting things in place so that she will receive assistance next year. In order to do what we need, she has to have the label of "learning disabled" and I recognize that it's necessary, but it makes me sad. As if I (or anyone else) were to blame for the complications during her birth (if they are even the cause... and we'll never really know.)

She has so many talents, and yet there are concepts she has extreme difficulty with, and it breaks my heart to see from the discouraged look on her face sometimes that she thinks she's stupid. I see her working so hard, day in and day out, trying and trying to complete the mountains of work she has, and never giving up, even though sometimes she will come home with a failing grade anyway. I never have to discipline her to get her to sit down and do her
work. But 75 is a passing grade, and sometimes she just doesn't quite make that.

She is an avid reader with good comprehension and uses voculary slightly above the average child in her grade, but when it comes to putting that to paper, she struggles with grammar and spelling and dropped words. She is quite good at solving math equations accurately, but has trouble deciphering a word problem to figure out what the necessary math equation should be.

She sings like an angel, and knows exactly what needs to be done on the altar when she serves at mass. She is unfailingly kind and protective of her little brother, and helped take care of Sicky without any complaint or disruptive behavior. But she can't tell time, and she is eleven now. I have blamed this on various things (my own laziness and bad parenting, a preponderance of digital clocks, etc.) and it doesn't help matters that a quarter of a dollar is 25 cents,
but a quarter of an hour is 15 minutes, and when you look at the clock the hand will be on the 3 but it really means 15 because you have to think "5, 10, 15" in your head. It's effed up. She just doesn't understand it.

There are a number of other "perceptual based performance issues" (educator speak) that she has including difficulty with things like jigsaw puzzles and orienting herself to get from point A to point B. I am hoping to arrange it so that she stays after school to meet with the people who are going to be providing assistance to her. I don't want her to miss regular classes OR band/choir so I am hoping that all works out.

I guess I'm writing about all of this because I am stewing over how to explain to her what we're going to be doing. I'm not sure I want her to ever know about the label. I don't know what the "right" thing is.

Hopefully this won't be as bad as when we held her back to repeat first grade. Kids can be so cruel.

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Someone's got it

If you have about $10 million, maybe 25, you can buy a Burger boat.

I don't have that many dollars. But click on the Fleet link, and find the virtual tours so that we can dream about it together.

(When you click on Our Fleet, you'll see a list of various boats along the bottom. You can click on various parts of the sketches to see photos. All nicer than my actual house. Not that I'm jealous or anything.)

Like a movie but not

Sometimes I feel like my life is actually a reality TV show and I have one or more people "planted" in it, who are there to complicate my life as much as possible. I swear.

What was that movie with Jim Carey?

Is school out yet for the summer? (Answer, not until June 21.)

Can I please, PLEASE stop having my personal schedule turned upside down by a shrimp saying "I have SO much homework, Mom" at exactly the worst possible time?? My favorite assignments are the ones where "all the work will be done in school" .... except for researching facts and printing pictures, which I have been doing for a good four hours now with shrimp alongside (because otherwise 6 hours would be filled with staring absently at the screen and getting only 50 - 75% of the work done).

(Said shrimp already being almost as tall as me, the high school years will be the REAL adventure. I'm already mentally rehearsing "yelling up"...)

Friday, June 02, 2006

Friday Find-Carly Fun

Well it's been quite a day.... not... rather ordinary and uneventful.

At least 3 people I know are in Vegas and I. AM. NOT. This is so wrong. Another friend is in PARIS with his beloved. Paris, people. I'm here in... well, my house. Which is definitely NOT IN PARIS.

Here are my latest results in the "weird google searches that have lead people to me" vein:

  • Pointed leaf picker - what the hell is that?
  • J Lo butt.... yeah, that's gonna lead you right to my baby sister....
  • I am still gettting the DJ Carly tell me where you are thing, which I don't understand, and it's creepy
  • The Gray's/ Dwight searches are fine with me. Did you see the Office marathon? It was great. Somehow I missed all of those when they originally aired so it was like a little gift from NBC for buying that bobblehead.
  • that damn feifel.... are you kidding me?
  • housewives addicted to hydrocodone (oops... none here, thanks...)

I'm going to go see if I can find myself. Haha.

Thursday, June 01, 2006

Chico and the Man

I've been busy taking care of my little sicky friend, and in my spare time I'm playing a joke on a coworker. SO, I haven't blogged here very much. What little time I've had on the computer, I've been using for the prank.

This guy moved into a cubicle near me (his cube is backed up against my cube, but it's entrance is in the next aisle over.) He put this ugly foam hat on top of the cabinet in HIS cube, but whenever I walked into MY cube the thing was staring me right in the face. It had to go.

So I got permission from me bossy, and I stole it, about a month ago. Every few days since then, I've printed off a digital picture featuring the hat, or the story I'm developing about the hat, and I put it in interoffice mail to him.

He has no idea that it's me.

This was the first one I left for him. You can visit Where's my pace hat? for the updates. (I am Person, and Spy. Just in case he sees the blog open on someone's desktop, I didn't want that to spoil the joke.)

This may last for a while. Hahaha!