Things will get better... right?

I distinctly remember a day in... maybe February?  I remember the moment, but not what day it was. I was sitting at work thinking about plans for the next few days. I remembered thinking how content and even HAPPY I was feeling.

It was just after I joined planet fitness with Sue, and that was going well. My back was slowly improving (hurt it right before Christmas, pain got so bad that i passed out in my hallway one night at 3 am. That was,,, not fun... and rather expensive... but I won’t go any further off on a tangent about that now)

My brother in law went through what I’ll call school, for a couple of years, to further his career. It was hard on my sister, lots of random times needing me to stay over and babysit when their shifts overlapped. But “we” are done. He did the hard work of course, but achieved the goal.

This was “supposed to be” a year we did x, y, z.

I won’t trivialize the losses of so many families  by complaining about what the actual plans were.

It’s just that this year wasn’t supposed to be fear and worry and sadness. And I guess that’s why that one sunny afternoon sticks out in my mind.

I fight to stay hopeful, despite all of the arguments and just general “bad” going on.

This morning I got up early and was driving to me sisters to help again and was praying/ contemplating things and feeing like I really needed an encouraging sign. I looked to my left and saw the most beautiful sunrise; you can see it in my Instagram feed if you care to. I’ll take it. It shouldn’t have been so bright and pretty given how cloudy today is, so there’s that.