Sunday, July 03, 2005

Sorry, but NO

OK, keeping in mind that I do know some people who homeschool, and grudgingly respect that this is a free country and it's their right to do so, even though I don't THINK they should,...

This just irritates me.

OK, you don't GO TO SCHOOL, so you make your own class ring that says "home schooled"? I'm sorry but that's just stupid.

I think children need to be in a REAL school setting so that they learn how to interact with all different types of people, and answer to authority figures who don't neccessarily like them or treat them fairly 100% of the time. They should be taught by individuals who have a degree in education. REAL teachers. To say that you are going to home-school your child is the pinnacle of self-absorption, to me. It's all about sheltering your precious baby from those other, evil children, and how only you can be the best teacher for them. Pffft.

The people who I see homeschooling invariably speak to me about how their child is in this group and that group and they're in a homeschooling co-op and they all teach one another's kids. Send your kids to school already.

I gotta stop reading the news before I have my cup of tea.

13 comments:

Brian said...

I think I'll teach my kids how to fight just in case they see a kid with a class ring that says their home address. That way they can make fun of them in their face.

onescrappychick said...

as someone who works in public education.. there are some kids I wish were homeschooled (grins)

seriously though..I couldn't agree with you more

Johnny Virgil said...

how the eff do you have a class ring without a class?

Matt Moran said...

I don't really care either way about the rings - high-school class rings in general seem self-absorbed. It's high-school for god's sake. It's just not that big a deal.

However, since you opened the oft-used, seldom-contemplated, kid’s need school for social interaction skills, can ‘o worms, let’s think about it. Smoking at lunch, learning to cuss and have blatant disregard for authority, smoking dope behind Taco Bell…. Hmm, I think I can teach all of these great social skills at home and in less time.

Since my 6 year old was reading and doing advanced math, they skipped kindergarten for her but alas, she was doing 3rd grade work and it was not “healthy” to place her outside her peer group. She came home bored. Now home, she typically finishes her academics by 11:30am and then has time, with the myriad of social activities to interact with parents, authority, other students, etc.

We tried putting our 3 other kids back into public school after several years of home schooling but they couldn’t slow down enough. They were bored! And I don’t consider them gifted but they have far greater opportunity to play to their strengths and natural aptitudes when they are at home. We don’t worry if there are enough students to form a “class” to cover their topic of interest – we only need 1. My 14 year old daughter has her first short-story ready to be published and is 65,000 words into her first novel.

While home-schooling, when they studied geology, me and my wife packed them up and took them to a volcano and a flood plain. They would have 2 or more field trips a week. In "the institution," when the class was reading about some locale in their books, my kids were saying, “We’ve been there.”

I have a hard-time buying into the idea that other teens provide any helpful development of my child’s social skills. And teaching credentials are certainly not some holy-grail of aptitude. It is a process of repetitive regurgitation, like most training. There are good teachers and there are bad teachers –it is simply a roll of the dice.

Of course, the other silly notion I hear is that school is preparing them for “real-life” – a job. I agree it is conditioning them that going someplace for 8+ hours and struggling through tedious processes is normal. But I’m not interested in normal or average. I’ve worked out of my house for 10+ years. I want them to create normal on their own terms because I view it abnormal to spend any time commuting to a job you can’t wait to leave and for an employer who determines your earnings, vacation, and schedule.

Our 14 year old and 17 year old will be taking college course (for dual high-school and college credit) this year. My daughter will work with me on writing and product development and at taking care of business activities. They will all know how to do basic plumbing, balance a check book, have highly-advanced computer skills, excellent communication skills, etc. With the extra time they have, they can play hockey, be in their theatre group, and other activities and experiences that school cannot – in a reasonable timeframe, give you.

If teaching my children to excel in less time and with greater enjoyment is self-absorbed, so be it. But just to make sure they don’t miss out, I’ll buy a cartoon of cigarettes for them. And another thing - since you brought it up - we don't treat our children fairly 100% of the time either - just ask them.

Carly said...

Well I hate to tell you, but my kids don't swear, smoke, or sass back at authorities. So again you're doing the "those other kids at school will sully up my sweet innocent baby" song. How lame.

Since I've never seen you before, you must routinely google "home schooling" to jump up on your soap box.

You seem to feel the need to trumpet how successful your home schooling experience has been. Have at it. It doesn't match up to ANY of the people I have seen in person who home school.

The exception proves the rule.

Matt Moran said...

Hmm?? Well, your wrong on a few items. I am not concerned about other kids sullying up my little angels. I have teenagers, so that pretty much assures you that they aren't angels.

Wrong on how I found you. I don't google - or write on homeschooling anywhere (that I can recall). It certainly isn't a soapbox issue for me. I found your site somehow while reading Johnny Virgil's site and I cannot, for the life of me, remember how I found his site. I found both interesting at times - although admittedly I don't comment on most of what I read and I only visit my blog list 1-2 times a month - at most.

You've done well on the parenting though because my kids have occassionally cussed, at times have sassed back to authority, and let's not talk about my son's experimentation last year. We are just happy that they feel free enough to tell us most of what they do.

We chose homeschooling for a simple reason, we like to travel, we like education, and we like our kids. So it works. As far as others - I'll there are some who do poorly but that could be said for parents who put their kids in school and tune-out.

My wife is a professional tutor and works in special education for our school district. We see a lot of parents who have abdicated responsibility for their child(ren)'s education - whether homeschooling or not. Even when our kids were in school we assumed that we were primarily responsible for their education. Involved parents are a better indicator of success.

I pointed out the fallacy of the "socialization" argument because I find it interesting in light of what we "learn" in school. There are other - superior avenues to social skills. We certainly don't advocate a closed commune and frocked collars.
http://www.cbtoolkit.com/moranclan/20041226/Images2004-12-26_01.htm
- see our kids even have long hair and listen to rock n' roll - devil music

FYI: We had our kids in school the past three years. It was just a little too slow and way too restrictive on the life they want to experience and that we have determined to be the most effective and beneficial.

Oh well, this is your blog and I will tune in at my regularly scheduled times but remain silent. I liked the topic - it was a slow pitch for me - sorry.

Brian said...

Like anything their are probably many positives and negatives to each situation. And what's right for you may not be right for the next person.

I think overall that public school can be much more rewarding for the kids. I don't know how the home schooled kids will get much social skills or have friends as most of that is done in school at school functions.

LizzieDaisy said...

Um, at the risk of making this argument on awhile longer... I've been in public, private and parochial schools... I liked the private best because of the flexibility. They could teach what and how they wanted so I learned a lot more. I tried the Montesorri thing with my son and it didn't work for him (he needed to be motivated by a teacher... not left to wander to what interested him... he needed direction). MANY of my friends homeschool and it works wonderfully for them. I don't love my kids enough. :) Actually, I do not have the patience and they don't have the listening skills - it just wouldn't work. Bummer, the Catholic school they attend is not that hot in some areas (like science)... not up to my standards. The public school system in my area stinks and is kinda scary. And I am overprotective... I don't want my kids trying anything out. Sorry. I didn't and neither did my hub. Ever. Why should they? I don't feel like I missed out. I had just as much fun as everyone else and had just as many friends. Not like I'll kill them, just hope they are smart and get into sports like we did... stay out of trouble. But that's another post. :)

Anyway, my thoughts... to each his own. Depends on the area you live in, depends on your work schedule, religion, patience level, flexibility, ability to organize, ability to teach and stay on task... so many things.

I do see a need for socialization, but in my city there are homeschool organizations for that purpose. They do field trips, sports activities, etc. together. They get plenty of that. Personally, I think high school would be a total bummer for a homeschooler (dating, prom/dances, no football or large organized sports...), but whatever. They probably don't know what they are missing and if they are the ones allowed to make the call... well, it's not my kid.

Point is... there are jerks everywhere. Stuck up people everywhere. Weirdo nutjobs everywhere. Controlling #$(*#(*&$ everywhere. And personally, I don't see the point of school rings anyhoo... but that's just MY taste. Everyone is different. I'm sure noone sees the point of blue flannel teddy bear jammie pants at aged 37 either. To each his/her own. :)

Did I mention in my "100 things about me" that I hate conflict? I should have made that #1... teehee.

Sarah said...

Public school babies rule. I somehow managed to get a good education, join in a lot of extracurricular activities and yet still have sex at the same time. Oh and I learned to smoke dope behind Taco Bell.

Anonymous said...

What does homeschooling and cussing/drugs/bad behavior have to do with anything? All the homeschooled kids in my area were just as bad as the public shcool kids. Sure they didn't do it right in front of their parents, but at the malls or movies or games, they were smoking pot, getting into fights. They act bad just at different places and times. Your a fool to think your kids aren't acting, well like kids.

Carly said...

Matt,

I should have known you came from Johnny's site. He's the root of all of my problems. (ha, ha)

On my previous webpage I had to deal with my share of trolls, so I apologize for being quite so snarky.

I still do not think your experience with homeschooling matches those that I know in person. You seem to have more money than the women I know, if you can take trips to the places you are studying.

In those cases (the women I know who homeschool, who are stay at home moms with limited finances) I think the children would have more far resources available to them at a "real" school; for instance at my children's school, we have regular videoconferences with places like aquariums and so on.

Children can do various instruments in band. There are various languages available to them for study. All of these things are available outside of the school setting on a "lesson" basis, true, but at what monetary cost? Out of reach for some single income families.

Many of the women I know have what today's society would consider large families. One has five, one has eight (under the age of 12). I see these women as half crazy, frankly. They can not possibly have the energy to adapt lessons suitably to each child of a different age. One woman admitted that she home schools because it's just too hard to get all of the kids out to school in the morning. I have concerns that those children might feel like they NEVER leave home. Add to that the stigma of "HOW many kids are in your family?" and I'm not sure the kids really are happy. I know the oldest of the eight cried on her last day at our "real" school. She didn't want to leave her friends.

I think it is interesting that most home schoolers invariably point to the other ways that they are a part of a community. You're acknowledging the need for socialization beyond the family core. Schools provide that - organized sports, theater, music programs - all of the things you've mentioned.

You mention your wife is an educator - that's my point. I don't think any random person should be entitled to say "I'm going to homeschool". There should be some way to measure that the person doing the educating is actually capable of doing so.

I am more than willing to listen to other viewpoints, as long as you admit I'm right in the end. (What?? Oh, I'm kidding. Sort of.)

Certainly, to have my statements challenged forces me to put more thought into my posts. That has to be a good thing.

~Carly

Matt Moran said...

I like your attitude Carly - that is why I read your site. I'll admit that you are right about many things - except where you disagree with me. ;-)

As far as my wife being in education - they hired because of her aptitude, not her training. She went to training after being hired. Her success homeschooling was actually a reason they wanted her and why they promote her tutoring now. Her formal education background and experience is homeschooling, not the other way around.

As far as insulting teachers - not really. I simply said the credentials were not what made the teacher. Being credentialed means you followed a course of study. We work with and hang out with teachers who wholeheartedly agree with this viewpoint. Some whose children homeschool or do independent study.

As far as having some money - most of our trips - except a couple a year - are very close to home, sack lunches, etc. I don't think that is it.

As far as 7-10 kids being too many or those people being crazy - well, we have four and now believe that two is a good number. Anyone want a couple?

Once again, whether in school or homeschooled, most kids just don't excel. Most perform average - that's kind of why it is called average. I still believe the greatest indicator of success is parental interest and extolling the virtues of - dare I say it - being smarter than others if possible.

Anonymous said...

In my line of work I have met and spoken with many, many homeschooling parents. Some I admired for certain skills they had honed throughout the years, others I wouldn't use to train my dog to sit. I totally agree with Carly in that, of late, homeschooling is not much more than a "kitchy" thing to do - the sexy way of life. (not sexy as in sexual, by any means)
The children, when trying to be integrated in any of the programs at my school, are the absolute worst behaved, rudest and most flippant little people I've ever known. In short, they simply and clearly don't know how to just be kids, let alone interract with other kids.
Homeschoolers immediately put on an air that says "I'm special." I guess some folks can tolerate this more than others. I've tried. I've looked into it, learned about it and have studied it through various means. There's nothing special about wanting to keep your kids home all the time for any reason. Bottom line, it's selfish.

If a child is exceptionally bright - how about we give the CHILD some credit and quit pointing the finger inward to our own selves for having been such a superior 'homeschooler'?
In a word - arrogance.

As to the varied trips and "hands on" learning ... last time I looked, schools take field trips several times a year. It ENHANCES the classroom education, rather than just providing a family vacation. I'm not impressed.

Regarding the class ring? What's next? Rent a tux and buy a prom gown so they can prance around the living room under the safe thumb of mom and dad all evening?

I will wear "Anonymous" as a cloak because this is my first time here and I'd rather save my own blog from testy visitors.

This was an excellent post.

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