AB Negative

So, my love for Alton Brown has been documented in this blog. I'm a little upset with him still, because he had the nerve to be at a conference that I wasn't allowed (by my manager) to attend a couple of months ago. I didn't know until TOO LATE that he was the surprise guest speaker wrapping up the conference. My heart broke a little. REALLY -but I know that Alton is mine, despite NONE of my friend/coworkers knowing enough to walk up to him and take a camera phone photo of him holding up a piece of paper saying "Hi Carly." Geez guys. Really. I'm over it. Oh, yes, I am. Really. Uh huh.

Anyway.

My annoyance with Anthony Bourdain now needs to be shared. Anthony, or "AB-" to keep things simple, was in my area this week and continued to bash Rachel Ray. Apparently he's been gnawing at this for a long time. The essence of his hatred seems to be that she is not a gourmet chef. He made remarks simliar to "No one should aspire to mediocrity".

First of all, buddy, live and let live. Why put someone else down to prove your superiority? A mindset I just can never understand, right there.

Unlike Alton, who generally operates with a message of "cooking is cool and fun and HEY- try this!" AB- seems to operate only on the premise that the only worthy cook is a four (five?) star chef. (Did you know that Norman Rockwell was regarded by his peers as ONLY an illustrator, not a "real" artist? That's what I'm talking about. I guarantee that more of middle America know's Rachel's name, and not Anthony's. And I think it EATS HIM ALIVE because he is a "better" cook. )

I would go out on a limb and say that AB- has never been a middle class working mom with hungry kids. There are nights when I come home after 5pm, tired and looking at a mountain of laundry, bills to write out, homework to help with. A Thirty Minute meal is not the Supper of Satan in this circumstance. It's also not a frozen pizza, food delivery, or Mc Nuggets.

Do I watch Top Chef? Hell yeah. Would I love a cooking lesson from anyone competing on the show? Absofucking-lutely.

But I buy Rachel Ray's magazine, and those recipies might actually see my stove. Thanks, AB- , for trying to make me feel like somehow that makes me a failure. Eff you. No, really.