I go to the rock

I was never a huge Whitney fan, but I did like her. I downloaded her
greatest hits album last night when I was updating my Alcatraz
podcasts. This morning I was driving to work, heavy hearted and
Whitney singing "I go to the rock" was at least a little bit of
comfort.

Things are not looking good right now. My father in law has an
infection (possibly c-diff which is not fun at all to google). He is
back in the hospital.

I am torn inside. I'm disappointed at the possibility that my vacation
is going down the drain, and feeling guilty and selfish. I wanted my
children to enjoy our Disney trip (our departure was/is/ might be
still scheduled for this Friday- they were supposed to travel down
with all of their band / classmates).

A Disney trip is something I never had as a kid, that I wanted to give
to them, and they have been eagerly counting the days while I have
been secretly struggling to juggle the finances to make it work. If
it weren't for the fact that they are supposed to be performing with
their school band, I would have already told them that Disney will
always be there but we will not go this time, and we will wait to go
when we are not so heavy hearted. But... I have responsibilities to
help chaperon, I'm supposed to have the cert check to pick up the
parkhopper passes, B was supposed to stay in my room, and so on.

My daydream bubble of a contented Friday afternoon (of "me time"
poolside before the bus arrives) has been burst. Even if I do get to
go, I'm not sure how RELAXED I could possibly be. But far more
importantly at any minute my father in law could leave us forever, and
despite him being 85+ we are not really prepared for that, and we are
also busy caring for my mother in law who can't take care of herself.
We have some help, but it's only been a week since this all started so
things are not really properly sorted out.

And, it's supposed to snow Thursday night. Which is just... perfect.