Reflecting

Disney was lovely. (Photo by me, at Animal Kingdom, edited with an iPhone app... PhotoStudio). The vacation was a much needed recharging of my batteries even though while the kids were there I walked and walked and walked and walked. Oy.

Margaritas are great, hanging out with band geeks can be pretty damn fun, and the Disney people pretty much have their act together. Except, all the walking, and not enough benches. I will try to post some photos to my flickr account, but I'm overwhelmed by the number I took right now - because I took so many on the safari and during the fireworks displays.

I am back to the new routine... things aren't going to "get back to normal"; we have entered a new phase where my elderly inlaws will need more and more care until we lose them. I am trying to be selfless and yet still find balance so that I can keep the pace that I set for myself. I know how easily caregivers can 'burnout.' I am keeping track of who will be with my mother in law during the daytimes. (Fortunately we have skilled nursing care at night, so I just need to manage the days.) My children are being wonderful and supportive and stepping up to help after school. I can work from home or her home now that I installed wifi there. Nana doesn't need "care" so much as just some company, so that she is not all alone. We don't want her to fall, but other than that she knows What time it is (Flaaaaave!) and is still pretty darn nice to be around.

I find it hard to explain, but there is a sort of quiet grace that I feel when I step into her home. It's emotionally rewarding to me to take care of someone who has been nothing but a kind, sweet mother in law to me for 20+ years. I like the pace that is set by needing to be patient with her slower steps and movements... I wash her hair, help her dress, feed her, and we watch Bonanza, and even though it's SO. LOUD, I enjoy seeing Michael Landon when he was a 20 something hottie.