It seems like February third* was 100 years ago. Today I really felt like my day was not in my control at all. I got three phone calls related to my father in law's care while I was at work - all from different people. At one point I ended up in a conference room ( because I sit in a shared workspace now, designed to cram two dozen people into a minimal amount of space. Go, go ahead and google Dogbone workstations - I'll wait... ) and when the phone call was done I just wanted to put my head down on the table and cry out of fatigue and frustration.
It was bad enough that the regression test assignment I had today confused the hell out of me; people walk in and out of the new work area all day long and I'm struggling with the steady stream of distractions. I HAVE ZERO ATTENTION SPAN AS IT IS, people. I also want to kill or maim the two, like, secretaries who, like, totally sit right near my now-very-open floor plan office space and won't. Shut. Up. With their loud phony voices. Like. Really loud.
I have my sister and a few trusted people that I can turn to and say OHMYGODTHISISALL SOFRUSTRATING and so on... And I am grateful for that. And for dumb knock knock jokes and riddles and silly games on my phone that help me get mind off things. And a nifty app, ambiance, which lets me download a variety of urban background noises which somehow help me tune out some of the clatter.
BUT. I am tired of piles of clutter and chaos around my house, and disappointed that I can't seem to ever make progress on things *I* want to do, especially now. Saturday I wanted to weed my garden and after 30 minutes of hunting for gloves, I drove to the hardware store in tears. I know I have three pairs. Somewhere.... But I had to put on my big girl pants and just go buy more, and not yank my husbands chain because the garage is a disaster and I'm spending all my free time buying diapers for his parents.
Because by the grace of whatever benevolent force in the universe allowed me to dodge my OWN coffin a couple of years ago, I got lucky and now is when I pay back all that karma that I got on advance.
I knew the abundant free time I had in January was a nice break. Now I see it was the water pulling away from the shore, and the feckin' tsunami is hitting me NOW.
*february third is the day my now-88 year old father in law fell, breaking his femur in three places...