Ending on a good note

I got a job!

I know.

I accepted the job AFTER fully disclosing that I'm about to need some
time off to fight back against my misbehaving knockers. They want me
anyway - it was such a Sally Field moment. They are going to set me up
to work from home as needed, plus a couple of other things that made
me weep like a beauty pageant queen - smiling through tears.

As a cherry on top, I'm typing this post (slowwwwwwly) on my new
iPhone. Santa rocks.

Happy new year - hope I'm around as long as Dick Clark, eh?

Morning smile

Read the red lettering, lower right.

It's COLD here in the smallbany area. My car says 10*. Booooo, winter. I am at Harvard on the Hudson, the windiest place around. It keeps getting better all the time. :)
Carly(via Blackberry)

A fine spiculated mess

There is a very long story to tell, and I'm going to try to keep it short, but I tend to ramble. Sorry...

December 15th I had a followup mammogram, and then an ultrasound of what (for the sake of my sanity) I am referring to as "My Boobie". Even I could see the spot on the original mammogram that was the cause of all this 'fun', and I have to be honest that my first emotion was a giant wave of annoyance that apparently My Boobie has decided to try to kill me. But the spot seems small to me, uneducated that I am, and so I am hoping that the endless procrastination that lead to an appointment that should have been in July winding up in November was actually a good thing. Because MB might have been fine in July, or "we" might have missed it back then.

The next day brought another ultrasound of MB in order to do a needle biopsy of the spiculated cells. (In oncology, a spiculated mass is a lump of tissue with spikes or points on the surface. So I knew it wasn't just a liquid-filled cyst. It's apparently a solid lump with Goth tendencies. Fabulous.)

Did I mention that the ultrasounds were done by a very professional female technician who I strongly suspect prefers to date women? I really liked her. For some strange reason this angle made the whole thing a little more bearable. Whether it was distracting or just an amusing little quirk of life, I can't really explain it well; maybe it was a mixture of both.

The biopsy was done with a special needle that can capture some of the cells to be examined by a lab. They promised me that they would try to get the results to me.... before Christmas. I wasn't sure whether that would be great, or really bad...

The NEXT day (tests were three days right in a row, this was really a lot of tests in one week, but the goal was to keep moving to work around all of the holiday time coming up) I had an MRI of both "the girls". I sent a text to a pal of mine describing how it must look to have a side view of a woman lying on an MRI table with an opening for her boobs to hang down through. It was something like this:

--u----

So that we're clear, I am taking this seriously, but trying not to lie in my bed for hours at a time going through boxes of kleenex.

Tuesday around lunchtime I was doing errands and the doctor who had performed the needle biopsy called to tell me that I do in fact have cancer. So apparently 2009 decided that since being unemployed for months didn't break my sense of humor, well, let's toss this at her. Merry f-ing holiday season, by the way. I actually felt bad for the doctor, having to do something this shitty right before Christmas. But, that probably would have been strange to mention to her.

Tuesday afternoon was very, very bad, with phone calls to some but not all family members. I decided not to tell my kids anything for now other than "I need some tests done because there is a lump in my boobie"... that word again, but it makes them laugh and postpones any deeper questions. When I know what I actually will be doing with/ about this mess, I will tell them. My inlaws are in their 80's and I don't see the point in upsetting them now, so I haven't told them ANYTHING. They will surely be a little annoyed at me, but they're far too smart to fall for the vague stuff I told my kids.

Tuesday evening my longtime friend took me out so that I could cry in her car about not wanting to have surgery or radiation or chemo or lose my hair or, well, actually die or anything like that... and on impulse she took me for a mani/pedi. I just never really do those, I walk by the places in the mall and see the women in masks and think... "not me." But it was such a nice gesture and I thought well, maybe a little girly time will help me get through this sucky day.

The vietnamese nail tech started doing my hands and said "Your friend pay for you." I sort of smiled a bit and said "well, yes, she is treating me because I'm not having a great day." She practically pounced on me and said "Ooooh, you sick?" and saw on my face that she had me. She grabbed my hand and flipped it over. She began doing a palm reading and showing me that my lifeline is long, very long, and has a little line that hits it and doesn't go through and so that means something will happen when I'm young but I will be fine and so "No scared! Happy happy happy! Fight!" I found it a little bit surreal that my guardian angel is a running around these days disguised as a Vietnamese lady.... but, OK. Happy happy happy Fight it is.

I don't have appointments with a surgeon or oncologist yet, but I am fully prepared to see Elvis in the waiting room at one of those appointments. I also briefly considered making my sugar cookies round with an M & M in the center, since half the family in the room would be thinking about my boobies. Too weird though.

So, I think this post has gone on long enough. Girls, get a digital mammogram; screw those old cheap bastard men who came out with a recommendation recently that age 50 is soon enough. Keep up with your doctor visits. Boys, make sure your moms and wives take care of themselves.

I'm going to watch "The Hangover" again and eat lots of Christmas cookies. Toodleoooooo. I'll keep posting here, if y'all keep reading.

Not the same but sorta

The container for broken cookies is a little but like the island of misfit toys....
Carly(via Blackberry)

Oops

So we have christmas houses and trees and stuff, and this poor guy just went to that big ceramic kiln in the sky. If I were more inclined, this tiny head could have a useful future beyond my garbage can. Alas.
Carly(via Blackberry)

In the bleak midwinter

(Title of this post is from a song I sing in choir... )

Friends,
If you can spare a good thought for me, please send it my way.

My family of inlaws are squabbling, I'm up in the air waiting for certain people to call me back about REALLY important stuff, and I'm thinking that it would be swell to take whatever cookies I've made already and a box of wine and just go hide in an Inn for this next week or so. Alone. Or, well, with you, dear reader. But not them.

Today my mother gleefully mentioned that "( she doesn't) really have to wrap much this year". I swear to you, I had just finished wrapping the things I had bought for my kids with the check she sent me. While I am grateful for the gifts, I still had some mood adjustment requirements after hearing that.

Maybe if things go my way, or pehaps even if they don't, I will soon be able to blog about all the crazy times I had in the last week.

In the meantime, despite being done with my shopping I will be at a mall tomorrow, because how do you tell your 85 year old father in law that you don't want to help him get a gift for his "bride" (of 50+ years)....? Not that I'm patting myself on the back, mind you... I'm just hoping to buy a little bit of karma wherever it might be on sale.

Here's to leaving 2009 behind very soon, and setting a new path in a new decade. Happy christmukahhwanzaa to you and yours.

Carly(via Blackberry)

The scene

I can't really bear to look... But I did notice incriminating footprints leading off into the snow...
Carly(via Blackberry)

Wwtt edition 2

What were they thinking?

This is a screen grab from "spice up your kitchen. It seems like a fairly average /typical show with tips about colors and "counterscaping" (think about it )with items that are functional AND colorful.

But I can't get past this island. This is the side that the barstools will be on. (I know this from an earlier scene in the show.) So , now your visitors and children can kick the crap out of all your winebottles. D'oh.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Rolling over

I guess I can trade this car of mine in now.

Well, probably not, given the whole "gainfully unemployed" aspect I'm enjoying (?) these days.

I may be getting an iPhone, however, in an "upgrade and swap" deal that Mr Carly has almost all figured out in his brain... Except he calls it an "iPod touch". So I almost passed on the deal! Ooopsie.
Carly(via Blackberry)

What were they thinking, edition 1

This garland is an example of the decorationally dysfunctional people living around me.

Swaaaag. Swag. Oh hell, let's finish this and go have a beer.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Eeeks... it's a random post

Sorry kids... if you are depending on me to entertain you, I know I am failing miserably since I haven't posted in a week.

Here are three mini - posts to make up for it, if only a tiny bit.

#1
It's been a busy week or two of avoiding any Christmas preparations whatsoever. But we had our first snow last night, so I need to get cracking.

I am plotting a getaway to go visit Suzy right before Christmas... without my kids. Heee heeee. I am also listening to Christmas CD's lately. This is rare for me; Mr. C loves them but I try to avoid the genre like the plague. I guess it's from singing hymns all fall to get ready, with the choir. I am partial to "A Dave Brubeck Christmas", and also "December" which is by Chris Botti.

This week my goal is to finish my Christmas shopping, so I can be that Annoying Girl who has everything wrapped 2 weeks before the holiday. Next week I'll bake some cooooookies and then skid out of town, hopefully.

#2
Yesterday my daughter had her first track meet. It was the first indoor track meet I have ever attended, and it was at a local community college. I walked into the gym and there were 500 people milling about, who all seemed to know exactly what was going on and where to go with themselves. Unlike, well, ME... and did I mention, there were no bleachers pulled out, since they would cover the actual track lanes? I had visions of standing from 8:30 to 1:30. Unhappy visions. Luckily by mid-morning they had put up temporary bleachers...

It took me an hour to decipher that the track was 200 meters, not 400. But at least it only took an hour, right?

#3
My daughter has a "teacher conferences" day of some sort, so no school on Tuesday, and wants me to see... new moon. This is SO not for me. I am in that 5% of the population that hasn't seen or read any Harry Potter, hasn't read any of the Twilight books, and would happily never change that. I won't even get a good nap, what with all the screaming... sigh...

Dinks

We had some friends over last night. Between the four adults in the room there were six kids aged 10 - 15.

Not to brag, but I have cable, with a million channels. I have movie after movie on DVD. I have a Wii and a few dvds full of games for that. Ipods, PSP, and so on.

Every kid in the house ended up making Shrinky Dinks.

The littlest one had gotten really bored - she was the only one who didn't match to another kid her own age. So I opened the cupboard over the dryer where we have some long forgotten art & crafts supplies.

I guess our kids have gotten so far away from the "retro" toys of the 70's and 80's that they are interesting again.

We just let the kids play, and the adults drank all the beer in my house.

It's amazing how enjoyable the most mundane, silly pasttimes can end up being, if you just fill your house up with a few nice people.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Ole

It's been a long day of cleaning and squabbling at Casa Carly and so I decided a batch of Margarita fudge is in order. And yes, I drank a wee bit of Tequila that accidentally was left in that bottle.

Ooopsie.

Recipe is simple, one and a half pounds of "white chocolate" chips melted with one can sweetened condensed milk and two "Mixer Stix" brand margarita flavor packets... plus a shot or two of Cuervo. Sprinkle kosher salt all over the top. Salty lemon lime goodness. Chill it. Or eat right out of the mixing bowl after I, I mean YOU, put most of it into a foil pan... to chill. You can thank me later.

Carly(via Blackberry)

Quick notes after the music awards last night

Dear Rihanna,

was that a laser cut lace doily you somehow made into a dress?

And how does one actually make venetian blinds into an outfit? Aren't there a lot of sharp edges to worry about?

Dear Janet,

I couldn't decide if you were Peter Pan or a Pirate, but then I decided you already had a treasure chest.

Dear Green Day,

is Tre Cool thinking "I can almost see his belly button?" Because I am.

Dear J-Lo,

Don't... not ever again....

PS: Dear Blogger,

when the EFF will you fix picture uploading for those of us who still use windows IE? I am sooo tired of having to switch over to Safari. Because it reminds me that I *WANT* a mac and can't afford one right now....

Love,

Carly

Wuhu

So my mother is suffering from YuleTide-aphobia (an irrational dislike of Christmas) and has told me to spend X amount on my kids. Okie dokie, and Bah Humbug. But I have :::cough::: all this free time :::cough::: so I have started shopping.

I bought Wii Sports Resort at Tarjaaaaay yesterday for my son.

(here's a quickie description...
Wuhu Island has so many things to do, there's never a dull moment. A dozen activities await visitors: Archery, Frisbee®, Basketball, Cycling, Canoeing, Power Cruising, Table Tennis, Air Sports, Bowling, Swordplay, Golf and Wakeboarding.)

My secret plan is to open the package RIGHT NOW (after I finish this blog entry) and start practicing all of the games every day while the kids are at school. I figure 20-30 minutes of "training" per school day, and I will be able to totally school my kid after he opens his gift, at least until New Year's Eve, on every game.

I will have to go to Michael's and get one of those "shrink wrap" bags (you melt it with a hairdryer) so that the package will have that "new" look. Heh-heh.

PS: I totally want to scream the name of the island over and over. Happy Friday!

Truly

I was in Borders today, trying to walk off about four glasses of wine I had with one of my best girlfriends at "lunch". We really did have food, mind you. Fabulous food. Pear / gorgonzola/walnut salad, and shrimps wrapped in bacon and pizza margherita. Yummy. But lots of wine. LOTS. Pino Grigiot, my achillies heel. So, back to Borders.

I saw a woman wearing an honest-to-gosh GAS MASK. Not a blue "I'm in surgery on Grey's Anatomy" mask. A friggin' GAS MASK. In a book store.

It's just NOT that bad, people. It's flu season, the USA is having a swine flu issue this season, yada yada. But. Really. OMG! A gas mask. I wanted to go over and hug her and say "don't be so afraid, just live your life" but 1) I was semi-drunk* and 2) she seemed to be too far gone for someone like me to help; I was afraid I might confirm the very worst of her fears... that there are people OUT THERE who will come up and hug you and put cooties all over you. I feel so sad for her.

*ok, really drunk. Whatever. Gas mask???????!!!!!!

Someone

....In my house REALLY wanted cake.

I am currently in a dillemma of "do I prioritize money, or actually enjoying my job ?"

Don't get me wrong. Money is nice. Vera Bradley bags and Sephora and camera equipment and... But spending 40 hours a week doing something because I feel like I 'have to' ?

But unlike whoever tore into this box, I may not be able to have my cake and eat it too.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Friday night fun

Torture your 12 year old child by gleefully identifying your favorite Muppet characters in

http://www.nationalpost.com/muppets/index.html

and bringing up select videos on YouTube of classics like "C is for Cookie" and "Rubber Duckie" and singing along.

Question: why isn't Animal in the index? or the Swedish Chef? or Beaker? I didn't see the professor who worked with Beaker, either. Are they only in The Muppet Show? But hey, there's Guy Smiley and the Amazing Mumford. And Simon Soundman!

OK, so it's slowwwww here tonight.

Sugar coooookies

This is my favorite Christmas cookie recipe... the one my family expects, even if I were to make no other cookies. (Which will NEVER happen, I'm just trying to make a point, that they HAVE to have these. What I normally do if I'm having the whole family over is something like the photo above. See the little trees / stars/ santa boots? this is the recipe.)

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cup room temp UNSALTED butter*


• 1 cup sugar


• 1 egg


• 1 teaspoon vanilla


• 1/2 teaspoon salt


• 4 cups all purpose flour

Beat the butter & sugar, add the salt, eggs & vanilla, and beat again. Gradually beat in the flour. My mother has always made these with nothing more than a bowl and a wooden spoon, but I think that at least mixing the butter and sugar together in a stand mixer is better. Depending on your mixer's power, you may not be able to use it for all of the flour addition.

Once all of the ingredients are together, you will need to divide the dough into three flat round 1" thick disks (Mine fit well inside of a gallon ziplock bag, but I usually double the recipe and make four disks, so keep that in mind. You want the shape to be pretty close to what you're rolling out so that you don't handle/ warm up the dough too much.... just cut the bag apart when you're ready to roll out the dough)

Refridgerate at least half an hour, until the dough is firm enough to roll but not solid as a brick. Use your favorite cookie cutters (one shape per cookie sheet, so that they all cook evenly) and decorations (I put colored sprinkles or cinnamon and sugar on mine... I am not patient enough to frost each one individually after they're baked.)

I have this marble rolling pan which is great because it's so heavy, (if someone ever breaks into my home while I'm making cookies they WILL be sorry...) and I use that to roll out the dough until it is about 1/4" thick. Use as little flour as possible on your board and your rolling pin.

On an nonstick pan I use a 350* oven for 9 - 10 minutes depending on the size of the cutout. You want the edges golden brown. Cool them on racks so they don't burn.

By the way, when I make a double batch, I plan for 4+ hours of work and about 10 trays worth of cookies. Plus the "ugly scraps" that I get when I gather the leftover pieces and re-chill them a little while. (You don't want to roll this dough over and over because each time you add flour, you make the dough a little tougher. So the scraps become the only cookies my kids are allowed to go after BEFORE Christmas day... they're just straight strips of the rerolled dough, with some sprinkles of whatever, but everybody's happy.)

*Do not use regular butter, and oh please dear lord not margarine of ANY sort. Unsalted butter. Land O'Lakes has it in a blue box. Seriously. Just don't even make these cookies unless you use the type of butter I say to use. My friend didn't, and her husband made her call me because they just didn't taste right. He's lucky to still be able to eat solid foods....

Laugh lines

So, over the weekend I got together with my former college roommate as well as two very good friends that we always got into a lot of trouble with.

We met at a little inn in a town not too far north of me. L got a suite, so we would have a couch, chairs, and a coffee table. This was a very important piece of furniture, because she also brought wine glasses for everyone, and everyone but me brough two bottles of wine. I missed that memo, apparently.

The wine glasses were from Leslie and they were hilarious. I was "Vino Hottie", by the way. Go ahead. Have fun with that.

I was a little ambivalent about going, being gainfully unemployed and all, but I knew it would be worth the money and I definitely would have fun.

L and M looked VERY much like they used to, in a strange sort of way. I mean, we're all 22 years older. But we're not. It was only when S knocked on the door that we all blinked, just for a moment (she said "DO I LOOK THAT DIFFERENT?" and the truth was, she looked great, her hair was just darker and a different style, and we just all paused that ONE beat too long. Ooopsie!)

So for 2 days we pretty much sat in the suite, drank wine, and talked about everything and anything. There were a lot of "remember when we..." stories and we probably could be heard laughing pretty far down the hallway. We talked about babies and divorces and parents and jobs (the question came up, but what do I *REALLY* want to do for work, and I'm still not really sure I know...but I don't want the job where my blackberry is going off at 4 am, that's for sure.)

It's amazing how many people in our yearbook we just couldn't remember. But L still has the same softspoken confidence and S still is very animated and expressive, and M still has the razor sharp wit and the wickedly evil since of humor. It was awesome.

We are planning to get together again in a few months. Mr. Carly said "with husbands?" Oh, hell no. How can we make fun of them if they're with us?