Monday, September 13, 2010

Sweet time

Waiting to feel normal again is hard.

Going blonde helped me emotionally, I was so discouraged whenever I saw a mirror and looked at my washed out, gray reflection. I don't quite recognize Blondie as me, but she is better than Granny. I kind of feel now that I don't look "sick" anymore to someone who doesn't really know me. I don't notice being stared at when I am in public anymore.

But little things like I can't lift a carton of soda cans without seriously trying hard... The daily nosebleeds, still, and the heartburn from tamoxifen...

They Suck. Poetic but true.

It is very hard to wait for your body to do what you want it to. I'm not running regularly because walking makes me winded and gives me leg cramps. So fabulous. But I keep trying; hopefully I will build up some strength.

All in good time.

3 comments:

mitowa said...

Go easy on yourself! It's been 2 years now since I've finished radiation, and I'm still noticing differences. They are small, and it's a constant improving, so give yourself time! I took Prilosec for the heartburn, but the prilosec eventually gave me leg, hand and foot cramps. No cramps since I stopped. No heartburn, either if I watch what I eat,,,side benefit, I've lost 7 pounds!

miripanda said...

Do you like to swim? When I was recovering from mono (I know, not the same but I hate running even when I'm not sick) I found swimming or even the ultra nerdy aqua jogging let me be more active without wearing on my joints. For a while I even aqua jogged because I'd gotten an ear piercing I couldn't submerge.

onescrappychick said...

All in good time.... and on a side note, I love your photo today.