Jango

I am all about Jango (a website for streaming music) these days. I'm sure everyone else in the universe but me knew about it already, but that's ok.

My geeks tipped me off that we can listen to it at work without getting in any trouble. So now when I am listening to a narrator drone on about car repairs/ cosmetology / or whatever other course I'm editing, I have Jango to keep me awake.

If you want to laugh at all of my random stations, look for chars65. You can also challenge me in Words with friends (Aka Internet scrabble) - I sent an invite to someone I know online who bragged he was "very, very good" and I am currently kicking his ass by about 100 points. Mwahahaha. Same ID - chars65 - hit me up, kids.

Hi

There are so many things I haven't told you... It's summer and my garden is growing (finally!! but I think something is still eating my sunflowers despite the elaborate fence I tried to make out of lattice. Whatever. That was one of those projects that make married life SO FUN. )

June was a flurry of graduation events for my son, and I was surprised to feel a little lost now that I'm mostly free of the volunteering I've been doing for the last 12 years. But then I remembered all the hobby stuff I have sitting unused.

I also had another round of checkups, because it's been six months and I was just starting to relax. So of course I got a call saying I needed a biopsy and had to try not to lose my shit about that. Everything finally came back fine yesterday, so I can stop crying at work (silent Droid who sits next to me will prob appreciate that).

Tamoxifen can lead to uterine cancer but this was "a precaution" - I wish they had told me that in the first phone call. I've got one eye on you now, uterus, and if you give me ANY shit I will yank you out without hesitation. Off the island. The tribe has spoken.

To celebrate not having cancer again, which would once again cost me about one year's salary, I got a shellac manicure since my nails still won't grow well... I'm hoping it helps but not thrilled that it cost half a year's salary. Tradeoffs.

Well a dragonfly is trying to attack me through the window (really!) so I need to get to work, where I hear the AC is broken. Oh yay.

Lingering

The get-well cards from last summer are in a neat pile on the side of my desk. My wig is tucked away in my dresser, among the bandanas I wore when the weather got too warm.

I don't get to be "done" though, despite what the casual observer might assume. Every six months I get to have a few sleepless nights and then have a more detailed than average mammogram, and wonder what gopher might pop its head out of the scarred landscape.

Little fire drills along the road, like letters to establish medical need for more mammos, can bring a wave of "Oh fuck, I don't want to do this again" style panic.

And tamoxifen comes with its own set of testing. Because it can keep you from getting breast cancer again, but give you OTHER problems. Do you feel lucky? I'm not sure I feel lucky. Good times. No anxiety whatsoever (I have a bridge to sell you, by the way...)

So today, please spare a thought for all of the people who are muddling through the aftershocks, one day at a time.

(the luminaria is from the Relay for Life my nephew attended two weeks ago)

Daisies

So... I planted seeds for Shasta Daisies in three hanging pots for my porch. Behold my stunning crop of... Magic mushrooms? Maybe I should try one.

Shot with my Hipstamatic for iPhone
Lens: Chunky
Flash: Off
Film: DreamCanvas

Looking back

I went and saw a bunch of people I used to work with for a "happy hour" tonight; the big stupid bank that laid me off two years ago axed a few more people recently and I met some of the refugees for a drink.

I don't miss the daily tension, stress and drama that comes with working at a large and badly managed corporation!

I do miss my friends. But time marches on... I can't believe it's been two years. I am a different person now.

For the most part I am happier now, except for a faintly nagging feeling on various topics- that I should maybe look for a more challenging job, for instance.

Or maybe I could quit my job and run away to Pittsburgh for the summer!!! (photo from my recent trip... I was almost there, and racing to dodge a few bands of thunderstorms...)