Dessert is bad for you

One of my best friends has four kids. Every now and then we go to the mall after most of our kids are in bed. Tonight she brought the "good one" (her new baby).

We shopped for cute baby outfits and Baby was good. We lingered over dessert and gave Baby a bottle and chatted and chatted.

On the way out she said "you know what, walk me to my car and I'll drive you to yours." This was not like either of us. It's a large mall and I've never felt nervous walking to my car. SO many people around, you know? but it was around 11 PM so we did it.

We got the baby situated and drove over to my car. I flicked the unlock button on my keyfob to show her where I was parked(that makes the lights of my car come on). She pulled up right near my car, and left hers running. We talked and talked. She was turned in the driver's seat, facing me somewhat.

All of a sudden she looks off behind me to the right and screams the most bloodcurdling, "Aaaaaaaaaaah!" horror movie scream I have ever actually effing heard in person, in my entire life. The look on her face was total panic. She punches the gas pedal, and takes off hurtling through the mostly empty parking lot. I was yelling "what, what, what's the matter?" and she screamed "they're trying to get in the car!"

She drove clear around to the other side of the (huge) mall before I could could calm her down even a little.

She had looked out the passenger/back seat window (over the head of her sleeping baby) because she heard a noise, and someone was trying to open the back door of the car. Hearing this news did not help me. She was shaking like a leaf and I was trying to figure out what to do. Because now my unlocked car was left behind. Right there with Mr. Creepy carjacker/ kidnapper man.

So we drove to where we had seen a cop car by one entrance, and it was there but empty. Fabulous.

We called the police. We called husbands. "Not going back to Carly's car until it's checked by cops." You know, urband legends, people hiding in the back seat. Eff you if you think I'm a sissy. It wasn't YOUR car at 11:30 at night.

We circled the mall, and noticed a weird guy walking around the lot. Fun. Now a Durango was right by my car, all lit up. Great, that's the guy who knows how to hotwire a car. Weird guy must have called friends. Circling, circling, looking for cops, but now the cop cars were gone too.

FOREVER later, the cops met us at my car. He was confused and didn't really understand what we were saying, but he checked my car. I came home. I am NOT sleeeeepy.

Bananas Foster just is NOT worth all of this drama