Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Plan B

Buffered by my cheerful doctor, who told me my chemo will be low toxicity, and some other things I vaguely remember equating to "mild", I had assumed that I would go in for chemo, hang out the rest of the week at home feeling not great, and then be back at work bright and early the following Monday morning.

Yesterday at 5:45 the alarm went off and I got in the shower... and almost fainted.

To be fair, the pain meds I started taking on Friday irritated my stomach so much that I basically ended up not being able to eat... anything... without it going, going, gone.... and maybe it's not a great idea for me to jump out of bed and right into the shower on an empty stomach for the time being.

The one thing I seemed to be at peace with on Saturday and Sunday was a little bit of chicken broth, and perhaps a few bites of the noodles and actual chicken.

This lead to yesterday which found me me weeping on the couch at 6:00 a.m., barely able to open my eyes, and telling Mr. that "I just can't do it." I was exhausted, shaky, and figured out a little while later I've dropped 7 lbs in one week. I have it to spare, but ohgeezthatswaytoofast. (of course he absolutely did want me to stay home... I am just worried about the money, the money, the money.)

SO I called in the sympathy card, and begged my mother to come and make white rice. I emailed my boss and worked out a plan for Mr. to get me a Mac book from her office and a CD to start testing. Did a little bit of work last night, because sweet monkey that rice was THE BEST RICE IN THE UNIVERSE. It made me feel good, it gave me energy; it was just a sunshiny ball of rice goodness.

I am taking it slow and working from home for a day or two, and then we'll see what happens. But the sun is shining and if I can fine tune my approach the next time, and the time after that, well then I will only have one more time. Right? right. Four times.


meopta said...

Three times. Just three. You can do anything three times, right?

Keeping some food in your system is the most important part, as you just found out. I felt WAY better without the blood cell shot, but if you are worried about your cell count you'll need it.

THREE times, not four. Let the money worries go. Those are not for now. How long would you be in debt for the promise of never doing this again? This is what money is for. Do what you can and stop using energy stressing about what you cannot control.

Almost two times. Then almost done. Three is a magic number.

Trish said...

when I was on my "easy doses" of chemo, the only things I could even fathom keeping down were simple carbs. mashed potatos from a box, pita chips (potato chips were too oily), toast, KFC gravy on the potatos and sometimes, those veggie stix costco or trader joe's sells. I LIVED on simple carbs for some time. Until I'd decide an omlette sounded good--and I'd barf it up. Once in a while we'd go to the coffee shop and I'd put away a strip steak, home fries and a baked potato....but that was few and far between.

eat what seems good to you. take LOTS of naps. be good to yourself. repeat.

take it easy.

breathe in, breathe out, repeat as necessary.