Thursday, September 17, 2009

The other lonely hearts club

Or, the Why Do I Feel Like the Octomom of Corporate America's Dating World...


For the single gal, Saturday night can be very dismal, as you sit home in fuzzy slippers imagining everyone out having a fabulous time, wearing beautiful clothes and clinking glasses and laughing.


For the unemployed gal, Monday morning brings the overpowering joy of filing for unemployment insurance ("no, I did NOT refuse any job offers last week, I worked ZERO days, I am NOT back to work full time"). Same fuzzy slippers, but this time imagining everyone standing around with hot cups of coffe, chatting about America's #1 Jackass, or that cute girl who threw the foul ball back.


Having nowhere to go is freedom and imprisonment at the same time. There are very few people who can take a two hour lunch these days... and you can't really stop in and hang out with your friends while they're at work without them getting a little bit twitchy.


The time that I thought I would spend the MOST time on my hobbies has turned into The Time Where I Do Things For Other People Because I Have Time Because I'm Not Working. The flip side of that for a procrastinator is that the more time you have, the more time you can waste on things like Facebook quizzes and Twitter. Or :::cough::: blogs. And yet I also blog less than usual now that I'm not working. Although I have finally solved that problem of being a CraigsList virgin and I'm having a garage sale. Please, kill me.


It's a mixed up, upside down feeling. The world will thwap you again and again in the face - suddenly EVERY sales clerk asks me if I would like to open a credit card with the store to save 15 % on this purchase. I don't really want to say "uh, no, out of work, don't plan on opening new credit cards nowadays"... even though in terms of cash flow, things are good for now. Every purchase is already a little bit dicey ... "should I buy this? I should Wait Until I Get A Job." Do you go on and live your life, or do you wait for that wedding ring / new cubicle to make decisions?


And interviews? Blind dates, in all their gruesome glory. What do I wear? Will I get lost on the way over? Will they be nice? Oh god don't be late Carly, for god's sake leave the house on time and don't be doing something stupid at the last minute to make yourself late. And don't have anything stuck in that little spot in your front teeth, and don't trip, I know you've been in flip flops all summer and now you're wearing stockings (OMFG I hate stockings with every bit of my tattered soul) and high heels but for god's sake don't trip when you walk up to The Interviewer. Don't make the wrong jokes. Don't spill the bottle of water they so nicely offered, all over the table.


And then AFTER the interview, the torture truly begins. Wait for the phone call. Does he like me? Does he like someone else more? Should I call? Will he call? Should I email? I should email. What should I email? F-ck.


I don't want to date anymore. I am somewhat discouraged by the thought of replacing my cubicle job with another cubicle job. But summer's over and all the cute boys, uh, good jobs are taken and now I am going to have to decide what to do with myself .

They don't call it Monster.com for nothing ;-)

1 comment:

Ineke said...

hi carly, somehow stumbled upon your blog and i just thought i'd say hi. As of tuesday, my husband is without work too (for the 2nd time in 5 years) and i think i understand how double you feel.
is there not a training you can do, that is a bit hard but still you are pretty sure of you could get done? Always good for moral.
Good luck!!