Monday, May 10, 2010

Get ready now

Haven't updated in a week; busy with things for the kids and cooking for school and singing for first communion (dear parents... when Stanley starts to play, please Shut TF up. You are in church, it sounded like Grand Central Station. Shut. Up.)

Tomorrow is HOPEFULLY my last chemo day. I woke up yesterday with a cold and was in tears thinking, this will really fuck up my medical schedule for the week.

I am now thinking it's just allergies, because I still don't have a fever or genuine cough. It is still just some mild sniffles, and Poly was right - Dr. said it's ok to go forward with tomorrow's poison, um, chemo.

He cautioned me that I'm not done yet (ie take my meds and make sure I don't lose too much weight in this round and more or less do what I have been doing and not get overconfident or reminded me of the Wallenda who fell off a tightrope in Puerto Rico and probably died thinking he had made it... sorry to be dark and all.. ) but in general he was very upbeat about "getting you out of here..."

I am a big fan of Dancing with the Stars, although I think Derek isn't really all that and Edyta should have multiple ugly mirror balls (UMB). But I digress. This season -- for me-- has been about watching the dancers get tapped off the floor one by one; they have been my mile markers. The fewer sequins shaking around, the closer I am to being finished. Tonight we are down to five couples. By the time this year's winner lifts up that UMB I hope to be feeling somewhat better from this final round. By the time LOST does their 80 hour finale, I hope to be feeling "good".

I am pulling myself through this, hand over hand on a really coarse rope, with the support of many many friends on Facebook, Twitter, here, etc.. (I got an email with awesome picture of the Diva, which diverted me from the road I was on (heading due South toward Being an Ugly Cranky Beast all day) yesterday... if you don't know who Grace is, check out "Have you met me" on my sidebar...)

I am honestly not sure I feel about the gong; I heard someone hit it today and the sound goes all through the entire set of offices. I do not want to collapse in a weepy puddle on the floor next to the gong. I am a "hold it all together" while the crisis is going on sort of girl and don't really know how I will handle being able to exhale and not have to worry anymore about the chemo killing me in mid-IV bag. So I don't know. We shall see.

In the meantime I need to leave now to go to the orthodontist and a baseball game and try to get HOME for DWTS. Later, kids!

1 comment:

meopta said...

" and Poly was right -"

Um, did you leave off the DUH?

If we'd had a gong I would have stolen and hidden it. That would freak me out - the hug line was bad enough.

One and done, bitches. I'll be more excited when you can say goodbye to the aftereffects, but this starts the slide down to radiation. Celebrate this milestone next week, gloat if you wanna.