I feel more like me again. I was just reading my posts for January and feeling SO THANKFUL to be here in November.
I have a hairdo again. I won't go on and on about it. But yesterday in the ladies room I saw the lady who comforted me the day it was 90* and I didn't wear my wig at work (I wore my favorite dragonfly bandanna) and she loved my hair, which is a nice shade of ash blonde now and has a shape sweetly unlike a helmet of hair all equal in length.
I took my daughter to the mall for a manicure today and saw my assistant guardian angel. (You can read my original post about her at
http://goingon40.blogspot.com/2009/12/fine-spiculated-mess.html - in my memory banks, her index name is Happy.)
It was very busy there today so Ty, who I thought was just a manager, did my nails and Oy, he really does a brisk leg massage. Ow. Stop punching my legs dude! On second thought, he really loosened up the foot I have flirting with plantar fasciitis.
While he was doing my hand massage, I closed my eyes for a minute and relaxed. Happy came over an said "He bad man" in a playful tone to me... So then I laughed and he said "is good, right ? good, she loco" and then I had to say "do you remember me? I met you in December, the day I found out I had cancer" and she did... I saw recognition pass over her face... She began talking about power, and strong, and said my hair came back so good, so I really do think she remembers and understands, even though my ability to speak Vietnamese really sucks.
So yeah, I hugged her. Because I am at peace with being Dorky, and that one little encouragement of "happy happy - fight!" meant so much to me. And my daughter's reaction "is that her??" was not unlike what you would hope for when pointing out someone who threw you a life preserver when you needed it most.
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