Dear Guy I Barely Know who sat near me at our big office division's Christmas luncheon today:
Listen. You seem harmless enough, as programmers go. Nerdy introverts, I can deal with.
But when I caught sight of your chest hair PUFFING out of the v-neck of your polo shirt, it ruined a really nice prime rib meal* for me. It's one thing if a few stray hairs poke out of there, but really... what you have going on looks like a clog I might pull out of my vacuum if I had 4 persian cats. If you were eye candy I might be singing an entirely different tune. The fact that it's WHITE hair because you are 10 or more years older than me only gives me additional dry heaves. For a moment I wondered if you have a pet sugar glider.
I swear to you, GIBK, start buttoning that polo shirt at least part way, or I will leap over the table at you with my corporate issue stapler and fix the problem once and for all.
Happy Holidays,
Carly
(*This was doubly distressing for me because I have not eaten a decent meal in 3 or 4 days due to my little karma issue. No, I didn't get sick at either party, the one I ran saturday or the one I attended today. But I've been sick for almost every moment inbetween. One of those "dear sweet lord please take me now and end this" things. )
2 comments:
I didn't know you worked with my brother-in-law!
You should see the guy at my last job. The one Shamus and I call "WatchTower". He's the total package. Short & Fat, hair from the polo shirt, balding, sweaty, bad attitude, etc. etc. etc.
Oi.. that conjured up images that will ruin my next few meals ;-(
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