Mildly inappropriate

... to remark aloud (while watching the Food Network awards, some of which were pretty cool actually, because I want one of those ice cream vending machines in my office, and we are sooo joining the chip of the month club) ...

anyway, it's really not good to remark about the female presenter's "headlights"* because then your child will ask what you mean and I Always Answer Questions, so later he will joke that "Look, she's reading the winner using her headlights..." and you will want to fall over laughing, but you have to be a Good Example.

I never truly believed that Giada had a giant head until I saw her next to Shamus' favorite six million dollar star...**



I mean, really. Giant head. Lotta teeth.

And yes, my boyfriend Alton WAS the highlight of the evening with his clever jokes.

*Sandra Lee in a white dress. Semi homemade white dress, no doubt. All SORTS of wrong.

** yes, she earned six million dollars last year. Rachel, not Giada. Nine years ago, Rachel was doing local tv and cooking demos for small school fundraisers. WTF???