Sin City

:::ahem:::: A review, by Carly

So, I snuck off to go to the movies today with a friend when almost no one was looking. I picked Sin City. Friend sent me an email saying "Are you SURE that you want to see THAT movie?" but I never got the email.

First, Regal now presents 20 minutes of Things That Aren't Movie Previews before the actual previews start. Apparently Kojak is a gigundous-enormous black dude now and still has the lollipops, which made me laugh hysterically every time I saw one in his hand. Some woman in a super-ugly lime green hat was singing to him. Uh-huh. And TNN or TBS or some channel like that airs lots of cop show reruns too.

Next, real previews. (Doesn't matter what I thought looked good, I am NEVER, EVER choosing the movie again.)

Next, the actual movie.

Warning sign #1 that This Movie Is Just Not For Me. In the theater, Me, Friend, and about 5 guys, scattered across a huge stadium theater. I missed this OBVIOUS sign (no other women, this is NOT A CHICK FLICK! NOT A CHICK FLICK!) because it was a 1:20 afternoon matinee.

I had read that this movie was very good, and in part that it was good because of the graphic artist / comic book style. Mostly black and white. Except for blood, which was white blood(yeah I know that's still techincally black and white but it was a thick, glossy sort of shiny white when it was blood) red blood, or yellow blood, depending on who was bleeding and whether they were still alive and a whole bunch of symbolism that shot WAY over my puzzled little head.

Warning sign #2 that TMIJNFM - someone dies in first scene. And second scene. And third scene. I kid you not, about 50 people died in the course of this movie. That's just counting the ones you actually SAW die. There were severed heads and other things that we didn't get to experience.

Sign # 53 (after the 50 people I saw die) - in what was sure was intended to be an intense, dramatic scene, I couldn't stop wondering Is that Harry Potter? and finally had to ask Friend. Never mind.

Sign #54 - It's LONG movie. The timeline loops around and cuts in on itself at least once as far as I could tell. I know this for sure because one person I *THINK* died was in a bar later on in the movie, and one person who was in, well, Pieces, was walking around after THAT. The multiple storylines got me rather tangled up too.

By the way, if you ever pick a movie to take me to, choose one with only about four important characters and make sure they are easy to tell apart because I am stupid and will forget their names for most of the movie. I'm not kidding.

Sign #55 was a cut off finger that was given to someone, and it apparently wasn't the finger of the person I thought it was, because I never thought to look later but I don't RECALL that person missing their finger, but WTF do I know?

And gory? So this is what Stylized Violence means. It means that we won't just see hitting, we will see people get hit and then they will be leaking, spitting and otherwise extruding blood all over the place. On some level, I knew that if you hit someone enough times they will turn into mushy remains, but I did NOT want to see the mush on the ground! Even if it is in vivid colour. (Hi Marco, I spelled it that way for you.) No, make that ESPECIALLY if it is in vivid color. There were parts where I simply covered my face and whimpered "tell me when this scene is over".

Summary: Erik, Scott, and John, you guys should go see this movie together because I think you'll love it. I'm going to go rock quietly in a corner now. I may not sleep or eat for a few days. Let me know when Beaches is on tv or something...