Friday, April 29, 2005

Happy Anniversary, M.H.!



Can't imagine my life without you on my list of friends!

Thanks SD

I just downloaded Microsoft AntiSpyware (free and easy to use, according to John) and so far I have no spyware on the new pc... thanks John!

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Something to be

I know I have zero credibility when it comes to recommending music, but it may redeem me that I know one good thing when I hear it... Rob Thomas. Seriously, it's an excellent album. Song #12 is the best, just piano and very moving lyrics. The bonus is that Rob smacked down "Mimi" as noted in the linked article.... it's like THAT, yo!

Spring is really here. The tulips are blooming. Everything's green.

The stupid animal of the season appears to be squirrel. (Title earned by being the most frequent species seen as roadkill on my daily commute.) I wish I had my digital camera with me because I'm not making this up - I actually saw a squirrel who was mushed, other than his tail, which was sticking straight up off the pavement into the air. I swear, it was the funniest thing if you're warped like me.

The NICU/March of Dimes scrapbooking project is going well - I got paperwork so I can get my background check done and be able to take pictures of the babies myself. Yaaay! I really want that badge. It means so much to me to be able to do this for the parents. Hokey, but true -- I went the other night and one of the very first moms I worked with was getting ready to bring her baby home. B is so adorable and I even got a copy of a photo of him, and digitally edited it for her (to remove oxygen tube from his face/nose in the photo - it came out very good for a first attempt) I edited another photo of a baby with much more equipment (breathing assistance) in the photo and retouched all the bad stuff away. So, the new PC will be used for more than spam and blogging. ;-p

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

Hey Johnny V!

I finally found a creature that eats lunch faster than Johnny Virgil. If you have never dined with him, he absolutely inhales food. Not in a messy way, just blindingly fast. (Shamus got to Panera's well before us the other day, and Johnny still finished his lunch before Shamus did).

Anyway, I present to you (courtesy of my daughter's 4th grade weekly reader) the Star Nosed Mole - go look at it, it's really UGLY in an awesome sort of way.

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

So help me

If anyone buys me this for Mother's Day, I will hurt you. It's SO tacky. Pink?? Pink. Hrrrmphh.

Stupid People Tricks

Did you know that if you pour a glass of soda, and it foams WAY up, and looks like it's going to overflow, you can stick your finger into the foam and that will probably keep it from spilling all over your counter? My kids love it.

It's magic.

(I'm sure Johnny or someone will contribute helpful information about surface tension and whatnot. )

Move it along, nothing to see here folks, this is all I've got today.

Monday, April 25, 2005

How to really waste time at work

... go here:

http://www.staplesdeskapprentice.com/main/

and play the game... catch falling office supplies in the Desk Apprentice.

Yes, I have no life, motivation, or shame. So what? I'm happy. It's a computer game I can actually DO.

Has anyone ever noticed my posts are always 39 minutes after the hour? No, I didn't think so... get it, 39, going on 40??? Who's your favorite dork? :o)

Busy, busy...

Well, I have been working on finishing things. Ha! The computer is completely switched around, but I will never be done with all of my little projects. I have eliminated some of the paper monster that threatened to consume my desk.

For my one friend who noticed, the Bravenet map is gone because no one was putting flags on it!! Oh well. S'ok.

I've got a school dance to do this weekend and it is not going well --not enough tickets moving so far-- so I'll be busy with that this week. (Method of driving me crazy, #4,852 -- staple your check to your ticket order form. I love that. Really.)

Yesterday I took part in a March of Dimes walkathon. My sister ( a NICU nurse) and I walked with an acquaintance of mine, her husband, and their baby. I can't post a picture of their little girl here, for various reasons, mainly it's not my kid, but this child is truly very pretty. I believe her father is Korean -- she's got his face (exotic eyes in particular), and long flowing brown hair from her mother. She is going to be a drop-down gorgeous woman someday. (I said that to her father, phrased more like "she's going to be so beautiful when she grows up" and he said "I think she's pretty now." WTF? I was trying to compliment him and he was all stuffy with me. Wierd. Whatever. I guess my complimenting skills fell far short of my intentions.)

My sister is an awesome nurse and did a fab-u-lous job taking care of this little bitty baby when she was in the NICU. To know that she was once a tiny little three pound baby, and now she is a healthy, normal toddler, (and SMART, this kid is 21 months and can READ the names of colors and animals)... well, that's what it's all about, people. It's amazing what they can do for preemies.

It was a good walk - about an hour through a wonderful park with a pond, some natural wetlands, some woods, and so on. Sorry people in Erik's neck of the woods, but it was sunny and sort of warm (a little windy). Go on, hate me because I have good weather. Ha ha!

My sister made a scrapbook for another friend. Two years ago, this woman had twins, but lost one after the baby lived a very short life, all of it in the NICU. The Mom had asked my sister to take some of her photos and make a memory book of the baby. (She saw the bereavement books my sister has been making over the past year for the hospital to give to families who lose their child. They include handprints, footprints, locks of hair, photos of baby in bereavement gowns that are handmade and donated, notes from doctors and nurses who care for the baby, and so on.) I saw the book my sister made for this lady, and I was practically in tears reading it. It's beautiful, with all sorts of elaborately designed papers, poems, notes that the Mom had written on the backs of the photos, and of course the photos of the tiny little baby, who was so very ill. The captions were about the short life of the baby, the medical challenges she faced, and the experiences of her family (ex: big brother on his birthday seeing the baby sister for the first time, the baby's baptism, and so on) My sister wrote an emotional note to the family - she had cared for this baby too.

So anyway, after the walk my sister gave the friend her book and we went inside the check-in area so that she could look through it indoors. I fully expected this woman to sob while looking through this book. I was a little nervous about being present for such a heartbreaking, private moment but I didn't really figure out how to politely vanish, and truly neither of them seemed to mind that I was present. It was so different from what I expected. I'm not going to do very well describing it, but here goes. She was so thrilled to have such a beautiful book of her daughter. Each time she turned the page, it was another special photo, and memories that are important for her to hold on to. I was touched by how happy it made her, to have this special piece of art honoring the life of her little girl. She couldn't wait to show her family - it really was gorgeous and they were all delighted too. I am 100% positive that this book will be a cherished family keepsake for years and years to come.

I am so proud of my sister!!

Friday, April 22, 2005

More News

Every time I read the news today, I get annoyed.

Take this for instance. Grocery shopping? Are you kidding me? You leave an item worth $850,000 in the back of your car so that you can go GROCERY SHOPPING?

I need to lie down.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Is this "news"?

Scientists solve unpopped popcorn

I just don't think so!! Where can I get a job researching something so lame?? I think I'd be able to take MANY two hour, two-drink minimum lunches with my favorite people. (That would be you, my little Bloggy friends.)

Unfinished business

I don't finish things well.

Today I made a list on a post-it note of things that I have been procrastinating on/about for a while now:

1. The biggie - I have this counted cross stitch sampler I started (before my first kid was born, as far as I can remember I bought this at least 12 years ago) It is all 50 states and this is what it should look like (finished)

this is what it does look like - (not finished) . It bugs me that it's not done but I seem to be unable or unwilling to start working on it again. Mr. Carly likes to say that by the time I finish it Puerto Rico will be a state. Isn't he just the funniest guy? (not)

2. I inherited all my great aunt Helena's photos. Awesome things like photos of my great great grandparents, like this... my great grandmother is the girl on the left and those are her siblings. So in otherwords, Helena's mother, and her sister Augusta, and their brothers, whose names I have written down SOMEWHERE, and that piece of paper/ family tree is with my scrapbooking stuff.

Ms. Carly Scrapbooker had great visions of organizing all of the photos (including 3 boxes of slides - Helena traveled around the world in her lifetime and took slides everywhere. I had this idea that I could print a few from each trip and include them in the album. Mmmmyeahright.) Haven't looked at that stuff in a while. It is sort of merged into the scrapbook goodies I have accumulated and I'm not touching those lately either. When I first started scrapbooking I had this vision of doing a family album and one for each of my kids and let me tell you, that's a bad idea. I can not keep ONE up to date much less three sets.

3. Jewelry - I learned how to make beaded necklaces/ bracelets, loved it, bought some beads and made a few pieces, ( including but not limited to pink, purple, & the fish ) and now I have a bunch of beads all bought, organized and sitting untouched. I've made and sold exactly one piece and I had a couple of other people interested in buying "something" from me.

4. Recipes- I had this vision of taking the cookbook magazines and the loose recipes I've torn out over the years and organizing them into one or more binders so that I don't have chicken, hamburgers, and spaghetti over and over and over. Said piles are still in the bottom of the hutch in my kitchen. No links here, I bet you're bored with them :o)

5. Little painting projects. You know, go to the arts & craft store, buy something wood and paint it to decorate. I have a shelf that I need to paint for my son's trophies. I have some ornaments I was going to do with the kids to give as Christmas gifts (they're some sort of plaster that I can use the acrylic paint on, and not have to fire them)


What is the lesson here?

a. Carly's husband is very patient with her and her piles of artsy-craftsy stuff that she buys and doesn't really finish/use up. Someone called me a collector once. I love to buy the stuff, I just never get around to using it. Bad, bad, bad.

b. I need to win the megamillions lotto (sorry Sarah, we here in Albany are going to win it this week but I will send you a nice housewarming present), then I need to build a big house with plenty of storage and a large studio/workroom for some of these projects, and then I need to quit this pesky job that keeps me too busy to spend time on my projects, and hire someone to come to my new house and make me spend time doing these things. Kinda like a personal trainer. A personal anti-procrastinator who will cut my pinkie off each time I look at the computer when I am supposed to be working on a project.

c. Failing that, I need to incorporate regular time to spend on this stuff instead of ... hmmm... well, blogging and reading other people's blogs quite so much.

Is there a self-help group or a "steps" program for this?This disorganization and failure to focus on end goal also affects me in other ways - failure to budget my money effectively, and so on. Geez, now I feel like a total loser. Do I have ADD or something? I'm not even kidding.

P.S. - I got Rob Thomas' new CD, "...something to be" and it's awesome but I didn't finish my post about it yet....

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Quality



Shamus, can you write up a letter of complaint to address this situation?

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

Interesting... or perhaps not...

So, we have a new Pope. I was hoping for a black lesbian but those guys have no sense of humour. It's an old white guy. Surprise!

Seriously, I saw a tiny snippet of footage of him celebrating mass and holding up the Eucharist, and despite my cynical bitchy mood today it was very moving. I guess it's the whole "his life's dedication to this work has brought him to the ultimate pinnacle" thing, and that he was ordained a priest by someone who was ordained by someone who.... all the way back to Jesus. Think on that for a moment.

This latenight rambling is brought to you for the following reasons:

  1. MY PC IS FINALLY ALL HOOKED UP. The speakers sound SO good. Of course, the room looks like a bomb went off because the old pc is scattered everywhere, but this is awesome. Except the printer is giant, so it's sort of up on the top of the cabinet side of the whole desk and looks pretty bad. I need to stand on a chair to actually SEE the display/ buttons on the printer. Great. Will need to fine tune the setup - but Mr. C just told me (yes, now that it's ALL TOGETHER) that he might switch this desk for another one he got from his brother with more drawers and such. Fabulous.
  2. I don't have to go to work tomorrow. Actually I'm sure they were probably hoping I'd show up but I have to burn a vacation day because my kids have spring break and
    A) I'm a loser who can't afford a cruise, not that THAT is a good idea recently, and
    B) I have no damn babysitter because the girl I thought would do it has a 2nd job and they are running short this week so she bagged me.
  3. I had three sodas with dinner. If you have met me in person you know that Me + Soda is not a Good Thing. Me + three sodas, well I am high, basically. We went out for a "quick bite" at a local bar sort of place and they had a meeting going on in the other room so our dinner lasted two hours. Arrrgh.
  4. I wanted to brag to all of the girls that I had lunch with Shamus AND Johnny. Johnny drove the convertible and made fun of me because I didn't want my hair messed up. I have to say it was nice to just lean back, close my eyes, feel the sun on my face, wind in my hair, yada yada and let someone else drive while I just relax for five minutes. Because, you know, the leaning back and closing my eyes thing JUST doesn't work if I am driving.
    Shamus was ranting about a really stupid story in the local paper, and didn't you say you blogged it Shammy? Where is that? We saw a really icky woman with too many tattoos and Johnny started talking about people who peel the top layer of their skin off in patterns so that the scars form in those patterns. This is something I did not need to know.

That's about it, goodnight kids!

Monday, April 18, 2005

Eff you hackers

So, I'm working on setting up the new pc and it has firewall software which in the past five minutes has blocked at least 5 attempts to ping my pc. Now I know why my old one sucked so bad. My old PC's a hacker's whore and I didn't even know it.

I should explain that I *DID* have a firewall on it but it was controlled by BSB (big stupid bank, AKA my employer) and seemed to only block ME from doing things, not anyone out on the big bad Internet, so we quarreled often and I shut it down frequently .... so I'm sure that's when the party started.

So eff you, Mr Guy In Peking trying to use MY new shiny pc to send spam around the world. I'm done with you.

Into the Night

Erik and his post about church camps just brought up an old ghost from my past. This one's going to end with kind of a downer however, so I appologize in advance.

It was probably either the summer that I was 12 or 13, so I was just out of 7th grade, let's say. I was Lutheran then and I went to church camp for one week every summer, right after school let out. There were kids from various Lutheran churches all around the Albany area who attended that particular week.

The camp was named Camp Medusa and it was in the Catskills, just below Albany. It was a crappy little place with no hot water in the bathrooms, and log cabins where we froze our butts off because the mountains get cold at night even in the summer.The "lake" could fit 2 or 3 times over on your average football field and I didn't really go into it much because I couldn't swim.

(Oh, now THERE's a story, 'How I almost drowned in the Bahamas spring break of my senior year in a cockroach ridden motel because some stupid kid pushed me in the pool as a jok and the real joke was that I couldn't swim")

Anyway, there was this one guy. His name was Jimmy. He was just amazing to me. Really tall, probably almost 6 feet tall even though he was about 14 or 15. Blonde hair and blue eyes you could absolutely swim in. He was a completely adorable guy and a total flirt and would walk around singing. There was a song that was very popular at the time, and the chorus included "why dont' we steal away, into the night?" He sang that song walking from the cabins to the main hall, from the main hall to the "lake".... everywhere he went he would sing that song because he knew the girls loved it.

Not that he noticed me, of course. I was younger, and rather plain - glasses, long brown hair, and dorky clothes, and there were prettier girls his own age. It's probably good that he didn't notice me, because I would have been putty in his hands. I had a complete and total crush on him, from afar.

About a month after we went to camp my friend Karen called me and told me that Jimmy had stabbed his younger sister and killed her.

I never met the sister, but of course I was horrified. I was terrified by the thought that he had been arrested, and heartbroken to know that he was in jail and his life was basically over. Since I was 12, and there was no internet (not in my house anyway and besides this was about '77) I never heard another word about him. Karen never did either - he wasn't really a part of our own church, and so we had no ties to anyone in his community who knew anything about it. I knew I would never see him again.

Was he drunk at the time? Stoned? Insane? Don't know. I don't know if he went to jail - I don't know if he's out (on some sort of defense plea, or if he served whatever time he was sentenced... )you know?? But all of these years later, it still makes me sad, to think that in one moment, he could go from this absolutely wonderful person to someone who had killed his own sister. I wouldn't want to think about what he might be like now, all of these years later. I would rather think of him as he was, at camp.

The other day I was shopping and I heard the song he walked around singing at camp. Isn't it amazing how an old song can make you think of a very specific peson, dredging up a memory you hadn't touched in decades?


Why don't we steal away... into the night?

Friday, April 15, 2005

This is going to take a long time...

In my quest to improve my (apparently shitty, I had no idea how bad...) music tastes I am listening to Music Choice / Hit List (how much do I love Time Warner? digital cable and DVR's are awesome....)

I get 3 Doors Down and Good Charlotte (heh) but who the hell is Akon and why the hell does he sing an old Bobby Vinton song with a Chipmunk? All I got from Google (my .5 seconds worth of research at most) is that "sometimes it takes a singing thug poet to make you realize that you aren’t the only one that feels certain ways…" Mmmmmokayyyyy. http://www.musicremedy.com gave up that little gem.

On the plus side even *I* know that Hilary Duff singing "Hater" is about Lindsay Lohan. It still sucks, but at least I know what that one is about.

PS - YAY! Tax day cometh!!! Sunday afternoon I rip the desk apart and finish setting up the new PC. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Maybe you CAN have your cake and eat it too... or is it pie?

I have a little story for you. But first, did I TELL you I love Stefanie on Survivor? I do believe I have, multiple times. I want her to win SO badly - I am a total dork but yes I cried just a little when she got the letter telling her to go join the other tribe. Ok, maybe it was because I was drinking a big glass of wine as usual per viewing Survivor - but it was a great show last night. I actually think jumping down for that pizza was smart. She had to know that everyone is trying to get her on their side so they're not going to vote against her. So my girl got half a pizza pie - that is a serious calorie boost, while the others got what - one cookie dipped in milk? Of course, she probably got sick... you don't go from starving to half a pizza easily. She looks so good, all tan and lean muscle - damn, I gotta go get me stranded on an island somewhere.

So anyway, the funniest thing happened yesterday at work. I have this meeting I go to, twice a week. It's this sort of project Conception And Kickoff / Evaluation meeting where projects are initiated and estimated. We call it CAKE, but you can call it PIE, call it whatever you want.

It's a giant conference call. There are about 25 people on these calls, representing various areas of the company and we are gathered to review new projects, and determine whether the team we represent needs to be involved in said project.

Yesterday this guy - we will call him Pat - was first on the agenda. Right after he started giving an overview of his project, I noticed something wierd.

Heavy breathing.

A woman's heavy breathing. A woman who was (supposed to be) listening in on the conference call.

Clearly someone WAS having her cake and eating it too. Or at least it REALLY sounded that way - I swear. Lots of heavy breathing and even one or two slight hints of soft laughter. I got this vision in my head of someone dialed into the meeting, but at home in their bed and not Home Alone, either.... my skin was crawling.

So there's poor Pat, talking away (did ANYONE listen to him? I could NOT keep my mind on what he was saying.) And Ray, the facilitator for the meeting, either didn't notice, or couldn't stop laughing long enough to do his usual "we seem to be getting some background noise, would everyone please make sure you have muted your phone" spiel.

After maybe a minute and a half of this, Pat interrupted himself in mid sentence to blurt out "Would whoever is breathing heavy into the phone please mute your phone? I just can't concentrate!"

Suddenly, there was silence.

You know how a brief moment can seem to last a VERY long time? Bingo.

Pat cleared his throat and went on with what he was saying. I was ABSOLUTELY dying.

You just never know when a boring day at the office will turn blogworthy.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Music

So, I've heard some new music lately. Well, new to me at least. Allow me to ramble... even though my pc is wheezing like crazy. (Old PC, Mr Carly still not done with taxes 'cause this old lady called last night and he was hoping to not do hers this year but now he hassssssss toooo....ugh....)

I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally like Will Smith's new song. (Stretch? ) I listen to the local college radio station - so that I don't become a complete fossil. Plus, they play music. What a concept -- I'm not forced to listen to some moron babble. I turn up my car stereo (in my boring four-door sedan) to insane levels when that W.S. song comes on. Well, it's not like I thumpa thunka thunka through the neighborhood or anything. It's a Taurus, for crying out loud.

Rob Thomas - anytime, anywhere; is his new album out yet?

Bowling for soup - new song, Almost...excellent song ("I almost wrote you a song today, then I tore it all up, and threw it away"... haven't we all been there?)

My sister, who is exponentially cooler than me (she basically yelled at me last year for buying an Orange County Choppers denim jacket -- well, I think what she didn't like is when I put it on the collar ended up kind of half up and she thought I did that on purpose... listen, I know THAT's no good....) anyway, my sister loaned me Gwen Stefani's new cd. I'm a little tired of the Fiddler song, damn na na na na na na, but the Holla Back Girl song is good. Except, on the cd it's not scrubbed. So every third word is SHIT (instead of the Uhhnnnhuhhhh you hear on the radio stations that play whitenoise versions of songs with potty-mouth phrases, as we say...) can't be playing a song that says SHIT 30 times with the kids in the car. Oy vey.

Mariah Carey, I hate you. I don't like the "It's like that y'all" (or yo or whatever the hell she's saying) crap. What is the deal with calling herself Mimi??? Please make it stop. I loved you when you came out with Vision of Love, it's about 16 years ago but I loved it, just like I loved the entire Faith CD by George Michael (the third version of I want your sex is best.... It's late, time for bed, so I sit, and I wait, for that gin and tonic to go to your head... I know, it’s a devious plan, but it’s the only way that I know To get those big bad car keys out of your hand ... You know, that I remain a gentle man, but even so there’s only so much a gentleman can stand. Sleep with me, oh sleep with me tonight....)

JLo, and I don't care that you don't call yourself that anymore, go sit over with Mimi, please. Take that damn saxophone player with you. Or is that Wit choo?

Cierra... I like your songs even though you are so skinny you cause me to want to slap you. I don't believe those rumors that you are/were a man but it would make me feel better about how damn skinny you are. I bet you never were pregnant with a 9lb (almost 10) baby and so big you couldn't tie your own shoes, huh? Bitch. I will be there to laugh at you someday, I promise.

Honestly - that's it, all I can think of. Well, I accidentally heard a new song by the Backstreet boys. Oh, the horror.

So that's about it, kids. Recommend me some new music to listen to, because I've got that 3 month free trial of something that came on my new pc and I'm ready to download the world. I *KNOW* I don't have great taste in music - please take pity on me and offer up some names.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

F is for...

no... not what you think ...

F is for fascinators. What is a fascinator, you might ask?

It's a really, really ugly hat. Did you SEEEE what Camilla Parker Bowlegged wore with the grey dress the day she got hitched to Charles? The is-it-a-plant, is-it-a-bird creation on her head, I believe, was a fascinator. It might not be, but it reminded me of a story I saw about the Melbourne Cup and fascinators. (Did you ever go crazy trying to remember a word or name that has slipped your mind? That would be me, for the past 3 days, trying to remember the word "fascinator".)

Here is a Google search for you.

Now you have learned something today. You may therefore take the rest of the day off and have a drink on me.

Well, not ON ME, unless the price is right. But you may plant your flag on my map.... look over on the right of this page, below the counter... please.. my solitary flag is so lonely!

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Wierd foods

OK, kids. This one's a sing-a-long and was inspired by Toren's sharing

What are the oddest foods you don't like, and the wierdest foods you DO like?

Just to esssplain what I'm talkin about... here are my answers for your edification and/or amusement.

I hate (in no particular order): chocolate, peanut butter, coconut, and green peppers, which kind of means I don't like MOST candy, if not all mexican food.


The wierdest thing I like to eat is a regular grilled cheese sandwich, but after it's all cooked I take some grape jelly and spread it on top like it's toast. I once got a grilled cheese at lunch and sort of quietly asked "Do you have any grape jelly back there?" and J C bellows out "Oh my god, are you pregnant or something?" I was, the big jerk, but that had nothing to do with me liking that sandwich, I like it all the time. Besides, I hadn't really TOLD anyone yet. So it sucked all over to have to go "Well, yeah, but..."

Bonus round for Moms: What was your favorite thing to eat while preggers?
For me, it was going to Salty's every Saturday and getting chicken and biscuits, with mashed potatoes on the side. I would order a soup bowl of EXTRA gravy (beyond what they already put on top). Then I would have a fresh strawberry shortcake (another biscuit if you're wondering) and the waitress liked me (no, not in that way, not that there's...) so she would put vanilla ice cream, then the strawberries, then whipped cream. Oh man, I could go eat that meal right now. (It may come as no surprise to those of you who have never met me, that my kids weighed in at 9lbs 3 oz and 9 lbs 12 oz at birth. Of course, my husband is 6'3" and gigundous.)

Saturday, April 09, 2005

C is for...

...cookie, not carrot. I grew up listening to "Me Eat Cookie", not "A cookie is a sometimes food." Dammit, the whole point is that Cookie shoves cookies in his mouth and we shouldn't do that! That's why it's funny - because every little kid would love to do EXACTLY what Cookie does whenever he sees a cookie. As a matter of fact I do a pretty good impression of Cookie, Grover, and Kermit. Hi ho!

....Charles Big Ears and Camilla Bowlegged Parker.....go away, I don't buy the "Love Conquers All" spin for one lousy second....

....Catty... the Desperate Housewives stars seem to not be getting along. So help me if they screw this show up because of their egos, I'm going to open up a can of Carly Whoop-Ass on them all. Get over it and try to all get along.

....Coffee / Caffeine... do you know there is a BOOKLET that tells you how to order at Starbucks? My sister is a huge fan of the big S. This is very understandable since she works nights and has to do SOMETHING to stay awake during the day so that she can see family & friends. I laughed while I was skimming the booklet -- apparently you have to specify what size cup, what KIND of cup (are you staying here or leaving with the coffee? China vs disposable) what kind of coffee, what kind of milk, any flavors, etc. For the record, I wanted TEA, and it took at least two minutes just to order that. Earl Grey. A large cup please. Yes, I guess I'll take two tea bags, thanks for suggesting. Can you put a little ice in that? I'm not into scalding myself. No, I don't want ice tea, I still want it to be hot. Caramba!

...computer, which is still not hooked up yet. Damn taxes.

....cantor, which is the person who sings the responsorial psalm as a solo during mass, and which is ME tomorrow, and I'm mighty nervous because I just don't think I'm singing this one right. So please cross your fingers for me.

Ciao!

Friday, April 08, 2005

Oh Erik....

Have you seen this?

What is the deal?

Is it me? I'm tired. I seem to have comments on my blog that never arrive in my Yahoo mailbox. Some do, some don't. It's wierd. Lately, most seem not to arrive. So if you've commented lately, thank you, it means the world to my delicate ego.

I think it might be Yahoo. I found out from a friend of mine that he has mailed me a few times and I've never gotten it, and that has nothing to do with the blog.

So, does blogger not send mail to me or does Yahoo not accept it? Is it treating Blogger comments like spam all of a sudden? Who else is mailing to me and I'm just not getting the mail? These are the questions I have.

The post about how we almost watched the Pope's funeral

Well, the kids and I got up at 3:45 to see the Pope's funeral. Kid 1 is ten, and Kid 2 is seven. So I had a deal with them that they would walk out to the couch with me, we'd turn on the tv, and see if we could keep each other awake.

I probably sabotaged myself because I drank two glasses of wine while I was watching Stephanie kick Bobby John's ass. I want her to win so badly. I hope she picks of the other tribe one by one and eats the flesh off their bones. (Now see, I wouldn't have said that if I hadn't seen Sin City. ) I almost didn't care about Apprentice. I think Tana should win, but it's getting boring to watch the other idiots.

Anyway, back to my house, 3:45 am today

The kiddos were a little hesitant but I am annoying and all, and reminded them that they didn't have school today because of the funeral, and poked them until they kept their part of the bargain. I flicked on the tv, and it took me a few minutes to find a station that wouldn't have damn commentators yakking all through the entire thing. (That REALLY pissed me off during Reagan's services. Some moron saying "And now we're seeing the family weeping." I know, dammit, shut up.) So I settled on MSNBC.

We were on the couch and after the kids elbowing me for a while it got too crowded. (It's not a couch, pudding pop, it's a love seat, and if you know who sang that song you can mock me with the name of the singer.) I went to the Lazyboy, which is aptly named. I started falling asleep. At one point D popped up out of nowhere at my elbow and almost gave me a heart attack. "Mommmm, you said we'd all try to stay awake."

Well the adrenaline from THAT little jolt kept me going until about 5:10 but I started to lose it. ( I felt bad because it looked like a really beautiful ceremony, but at least it's in the dvr. )About 5:25 I jolted awake - you know how you're falling asleep and you sort of shake yourself awake BECAUSE you're falling asleep, and it's a crappy feeling? They were both asleep so I took pity on them and put them back in their beds. I made it a few more minutes, enough to see a chant we actually sing at my church (it's the Agnus Dei which is part of the communion piece of the mass). That was cool but I still felt like crap, so, back to bed for me. Mr. C sort of laughed at me but not too much.

Of course, my most annoying acquaintace called at 9:10 when I was just getting into some good REM sleep. No, you can not stop by, I didn't invite you over and I am sleeping and I don't want your kid breaking my stuff. But that's a post for another day.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Sin City

:::ahem:::: A review, by Carly

So, I snuck off to go to the movies today with a friend when almost no one was looking. I picked Sin City. Friend sent me an email saying "Are you SURE that you want to see THAT movie?" but I never got the email.

First, Regal now presents 20 minutes of Things That Aren't Movie Previews before the actual previews start. Apparently Kojak is a gigundous-enormous black dude now and still has the lollipops, which made me laugh hysterically every time I saw one in his hand. Some woman in a super-ugly lime green hat was singing to him. Uh-huh. And TNN or TBS or some channel like that airs lots of cop show reruns too.

Next, real previews. (Doesn't matter what I thought looked good, I am NEVER, EVER choosing the movie again.)

Next, the actual movie.

Warning sign #1 that This Movie Is Just Not For Me. In the theater, Me, Friend, and about 5 guys, scattered across a huge stadium theater. I missed this OBVIOUS sign (no other women, this is NOT A CHICK FLICK! NOT A CHICK FLICK!) because it was a 1:20 afternoon matinee.

I had read that this movie was very good, and in part that it was good because of the graphic artist / comic book style. Mostly black and white. Except for blood, which was white blood(yeah I know that's still techincally black and white but it was a thick, glossy sort of shiny white when it was blood) red blood, or yellow blood, depending on who was bleeding and whether they were still alive and a whole bunch of symbolism that shot WAY over my puzzled little head.

Warning sign #2 that TMIJNFM - someone dies in first scene. And second scene. And third scene. I kid you not, about 50 people died in the course of this movie. That's just counting the ones you actually SAW die. There were severed heads and other things that we didn't get to experience.

Sign # 53 (after the 50 people I saw die) - in what was sure was intended to be an intense, dramatic scene, I couldn't stop wondering Is that Harry Potter? and finally had to ask Friend. Never mind.

Sign #54 - It's LONG movie. The timeline loops around and cuts in on itself at least once as far as I could tell. I know this for sure because one person I *THINK* died was in a bar later on in the movie, and one person who was in, well, Pieces, was walking around after THAT. The multiple storylines got me rather tangled up too.

By the way, if you ever pick a movie to take me to, choose one with only about four important characters and make sure they are easy to tell apart because I am stupid and will forget their names for most of the movie. I'm not kidding.

Sign #55 was a cut off finger that was given to someone, and it apparently wasn't the finger of the person I thought it was, because I never thought to look later but I don't RECALL that person missing their finger, but WTF do I know?

And gory? So this is what Stylized Violence means. It means that we won't just see hitting, we will see people get hit and then they will be leaking, spitting and otherwise extruding blood all over the place. On some level, I knew that if you hit someone enough times they will turn into mushy remains, but I did NOT want to see the mush on the ground! Even if it is in vivid colour. (Hi Marco, I spelled it that way for you.) No, make that ESPECIALLY if it is in vivid color. There were parts where I simply covered my face and whimpered "tell me when this scene is over".

Summary: Erik, Scott, and John, you guys should go see this movie together because I think you'll love it. I'm going to go rock quietly in a corner now. I may not sleep or eat for a few days. Let me know when Beaches is on tv or something...

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

On the upswing

Well I was moping earlier, so I took the kids for a walk. We walked up the hill to a park a couple of blocks away. B was swinging and I thought, Oh, let me do this, it will be fun. I swang (?) swung (?) ....hmm.... I was on the swingset for a minute or two. Then I felt like crap. So, to make this clearer, obviously my heart did not like the high swinging and it was trying to have a bout of tachycardia, but the little zap I got last July was working as specified. I still felt queasy...I am a wuss. No more swings for Carly.

I scrambled around a bit to try to give the kids a decent dinner (grilled cheese and a side dish of mandarin oranges, best I could do) and went to the NICU to help with a scrapbooking workshop. I actually got a chance to go into the unit with the March of Dimes coordinator and shoot a roll of film for one family. Laurie was showing me some of the usual shots she does - tiny baby hand holding Mom's finger, Dad's big hand holding teeny tiny feet, etc. Laurie has the film developed and the family will get the pictures & negatives for free (it was a roll of 24 black & white.) I found out later the baby is having some stuff done tomorrow that could be very serious. It was humbling. My biggest problem today was a case of the crankies, and here they are wondering what tomorrow will bring. I go home every time being grateful that my babies were healthy.

Of course, I had no money in my wallet when I left so I couldn't get out of the parking garage. I had to put it in reverse, go park somewhere, go allllllllllllllll the way back in through the hospital to find an atm near the cafeteria. D'oh!

This & That

I am cranky today...

  • I knocked a stone out of my wedding band again. There are 7 tiny stones in a row and I bonk one out from time to time just whacking against this or that (sometimes I can remember, sometimes I don't). This will cost me about $100 bucks and I get to walk around wearing no wedding band for a while. Sheesh.
  • The efffing rabbit has started in on my flowers. So far, tulip leaves and crocuses. It's stew time, baby.
  • STILL do not have entire new PC hooked up. Mr. C is still doing taxes. So, no speakers, no printer. It's RIGHT THERE and I can't print or scan anything with it. Waaaah.
  • Work... I spent an hour today studying money laundering prevention even though I don't actually EVER go near customers or any of our account systems. Zzzzzzzzzzz.
What's a girl to do? I'm taking tomorrow afternoon off and hopefully will see Sin City. Yes, I will SQUANDER some free time, even though the Bishop has decided that my kids have no school Friday. (AS IF I will get them up at 4 am for the Pope's funeral. MMmmmyeahright. )

At lunch with 3 coworkers (some of you know them but that's probably beside the point, but when did that ever stop me??) we discussed that the Pope might be on ice to preserve his remains throughout the public viewing period. Does that make him a Popesicle? Are we all going to hell? I'll keep you posted. (It deteriorated into the marketability of a Popesicle frozen treat with a stick with a prayer on it..... so yeah, we are ALL going to hell..... )

So hey, watch Grey's anatomy. (Why isn't it Gray's Anatomy? Nevermind. Just watch it.) Watch it for the storlines, the background music, and the one-liners the Korean girl delivers. Be warned, however. I still cringe when I remember the makeup/effects job they did on the bad guy from this past week's episode. You might not want to be snacking while viewing this one.

Moving on down to the bottom of the food chain...don't watch Bachelor. Unless you want to laugh at how stupid (and P.S., out of SHAPE, get thee to a gym Charlie) he is -- and how trampy and catty the girls all are. Hmmm. Now that they've MET him, do they only want him to get access to his (I suppose) hotter tv-show-star brother? Whatever. I do consider letting Mr. C watch the ::::cough cough cough tramps cough cough cough um, LADIES cough cough cough cough cough:::: to be his penalty-free eye candy. So it's kind of charity work. Maybe I won't go to hell. Right? Yeah.

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Sunday Morning in the Choir Loft

Well, of course I had choir this morning. It was kind of nice to go back, we haven't seen each other in a week which was a welcome break from the marathon of Holy Week services.

Stanley was in rare form today. He broke out his favorite old Polish hymn in honor of the Pope. Years ago he photocopied it and wrote out a "phonics" line of the lyrics so that all of us can sing it remotely close to the way it should sound. (Every time we sing this song during a mass, some little old lady in church makes him a plate of pierogis. ) So there we were, pretty much most of us either Irish, French, or Danish, singing this Polish hymn to Mary. It cracks me up every time. It could be a drinking song for all we know.

(He actually DOES play things like "Roll out the barrell" and "Hello dolly" in tinkly-music box settings on the organ during baptisms. I usually lean forward and he softly sings whatever he's playing so that I can identify the tune. He's such a cutup. )

We were supposed to sing one song for communion, then Salve Regina during meditation (in other words while they are finishing up the distribution of communion and "picking up the dishes". Stanley's phrase.)

As we started the communion hymn Stanley was basically playing with one hand and shuffling every paper in sight frantically, muttering "I can't find Salve Regina". Well, I could see Betty just wanted to clock him one, in the way that only a lifelong friend can pull off. "What do you mean you don't have it? Don't you know it?"

Just by dumb luck I picked up a book of sheet music on the pile of crap BEHIND him and flipped through it. He had been playing a piece from that book before mass and stuck S. R. into that book by mistake. So I sort of shook it and Salve fell out.

Heeeeeeeeeere I come to save the day! He gave me a dollar.

Saturday, April 02, 2005

Monday is Slap Your Co-Worker Day!!

OK, I know this is spam but it's just near and dear to my heart right now!
EVERYONE GET READY!!!

Mark this day on the calendar! Slap Your Co-Worker Day!!

Monday is the official Slap Your Irritating Co-workers Holiday:

Do you have a co-worker who talks nonstop about nothing, working your last nerve with tedious and boring details that you don't give a damn about?

Do you have a co-worker who ALWAYS screws up stuff creating MORE work for you?

Do you have a co-worker who kisses so much booty, you can look in their mouth and see what your boss had for lunch?

Do you have a co-worker who is SOOO obnoxious, when he/she enters a room, everyone else clears it?

Well, on behalf of Ike Turner, I am so very very glad to officially announce Monday as SLAP YOUR IRRITATING CO-WORKER DAY! There are the rules you must follow:

  • You can only slap one person per hour - no more.
  • You can slap the same person again if they irritate you again in the same day.
  • You are allowed to hold someone down as other co-workers take their turns slapping the irritant.
  • No weapons are allowed...other than going upside somebody's head with a stapler or a hole-puncher.
  • CURSING IS MANDATORY! After you have slapped the recipient, your "assault" must be followed with something like "cause I'm sick of your stupid-a$$ always messing up stuff!"
  • If questioned by a supervisor [or police, if the supervisor is the irritant], you are allowed to LIE, LIE, LIE!

Now, study the rules, break out your list of folks that you want to slap the living daylights out of and get to slapping.....and have a great day !

Friday, April 01, 2005

So...




Enjoy spring - finally!

Tribute

This is beautiful on so many levels... it's a fitting tribute.

PLEASE ....go and spend just a minute at this site.

Weekend Salute

So... in the tv world...
Mr. C and I laughed at the foolish women on the newest "Bachelor" and at his drunken confessionals. What a knob.

We cringed in horror when Meredith's wife fell and bonked her head on Amazing Race and bled all over (I soooo would have been saying "I want to go home right now")

We breathed a sigh of relief when Ulong/U-lose Stephanie survived another week (but I will miss Ibraheim and his man-breasts).

We shook our heads in amazement when the other Stephanie, Trump's Tramp ...(did you SEE her flirting with Gene Simmons and trying to get him to stick his tongue out at her? Ewww, just ewwww. ) ..... just Didn't Have a Clue (and did she actually say Caroline instead of Carolyn?)

The funny thing about Apprentice was that over a month ago my co-workers spent an entire lunch doing a brainstorming session on "The Pizza Truck" which is a self contained unit - when you get a call, you make the pizza in the back part of this giant truck, put it in the oven to bake, then drive the whole thing to the house, etc. It morphed into a double decker deal, with the top being a shuttle bus to prevent college students from drinking and driving, and then it had an ATM (which actually had a little old man inside counting out the bills and making "Whirrrrrr" noises.)

I work with lunatics. However, there was a pizza truck of sorts on Apprentice, so the idea isn't completely insane.

April Fool's jokes....

The best one I ever did, I can't tell you about. It was today, and I'll be dead by Monday.

The second best was years ago. Kay and I worked together. Kay coughed up a credit card and wrote down her address and stuff for me. I called Bob at work (her husband), secretly conferenced her in, and proceeded to pretend to be from That Bank That Calls You About Suspicious Activity. I read him his address, his card number, expiration date, etc.

Then I told him that someone had been using the credit card to call those 1-900 numbers and there was (some huge number of dollars) charged to date. He FLIPPED OUT. He was screaming "I didn't make those charges! I won't pay that! Cancel that card RIGHT NOW!"

I was laughing so hard that I almost couldn't talk. Kay was listening in, laughing. It was SO funny. It was a pretty lame prank and we never expected him to fall for it so hard.

So then I told him that if he really didn't athorize those charges he had to speak to my supervisor. That was our prearranged signal for Kay to say April Fools but as I recall she was still laughing so it was a minute or two before he realized how badly he had been fooled.

So, it's been nice to know you, but like I said, when my joke today hits the fan, I'm done. Remember, if you can't be good, be careful.