Furthermore

Twice in the past week I have found myself brought to tears while contemplating whether a certain relation will still be with us next Christmas. Do I save the cards from them, that were given to my kids? Because these might be the last cards. This is an example of the dark, morbid thoughts running through my mind these days. It's kind of hard to Fa la la la la around that kind of mood.

It's a tightrope on many levels - how much help to offer a fiercely proud individual who is not MY parent, how much to say to that person's children - some of whom are in denial, some of whom are compensating by doing things that I truly believe MEAN well, but are overwhelming and not quite what that individual wants. None of whom are doing things that I really think NEED to be done. (Ramp to the back door. Railings, grab bars - this is where the pride comes into play. Those are things that "Old" people need. I once heard a remark --not directed at me -- something to the effect of "What do you want me to do, sit in my chair and wait to die?") It's so hard to explain risk-avoidance to someone who hears "lost independance".