So, for the 40th birthday party of someone I know, everyone is required to bring an eligible bachelor for her perusal. She's kidding.
I think.
She said she'll be wearing a t-shirt that reads "Some Restrictions May Apply."
If I ever find myself single I will develop a list of screening questions - because of the HUNDREDS of potential suitors, of course. (Just go along with me for this post.)
Questions like these. Some restrictions may apply...
1. Have you ever ridden in a canoe or kayak? (Do you own a jet ski? Go home. ) Do you have access to a camp where I can canoe/ kayak / make campfires at least once a summer? If not will you drive me somewhere and rent me a canoe once annually to keep me happy? What will you ask of me in return?
2. Do you tailgate? If yes, go home.
3. What is the recipe for your best dish? What wine would you serve with it? If you don't cook at least a FEW things, go home.
4. Can you iron a shirt? Without sighing? Do you understand the intricacies of the steam settings on a standard household iron? If you answered no to any of the questions in #3... go home.
5. What is your favorite Sirius channel? Martha Stewart fans need not apply. Howard Stern fans will not automatically be eliminated, but I need m-u-s-i-c on the way to work. Not talking. So, we can never carpool.
6. Name your 3 favorite tv shows. (Sport programs may be include as an answer here and will not be held against you unless you plan to answer with the word "Golf". Golf is ok to DO, not to watch, and only if you don't make me go do it with you. Acceptable viewing of sports -if viewed in moderation- include baseball, football, basketball, and yes, that thing on ice. In return for your agreement to never put the channel on Nascar I will vow to never utter the words "time for my soap opera." However, I will be watching Dancing With the Stars each week. )
These are the initial questions off the top of my head. Please share additional suggestions or offer me your own screening questions.
6 comments:
you had me agreeing with you right up until that dancing with the stars thing.
You so threw that #2 in there to keep me out of the running.
That hurts.
I always go with the obvious "Do you think it's ok to beat your wife?"
"Are you an axe murderer?"
"Do you do drugs?"
"Are you at any point going to want to pee on me?"
No joke on the first two I really do ask those. Some dudes were raised nut-so and really do think it's ok to "dicipline" their wives and are not afraid to tell you so.
And the axe murderer thing is usually just to see if they have a good sense of humor, but. . . well can't hurt anyway.
JV, you don't have to watch DWTS if we can have a DVR.
Sgt, I can let some things go, it depends on my mood on any given day.
No, sorry, you're out. Hahah!
Lindy, very nice work, there is actually a whole area of questions I felt best not to blog about, but yeah, I definitely know what those questions/restrictions would be.
heck with that girl... I tell you.. I ever end up alone, my plan is to stay that way. Dating is wayyyyy too much work and I'm too set in my ways to please someone else.
I would include questions like:
1. Are you more concerned about your hair than me? Go home.
2. Have you ever snuck off to your own bathroom to get stoned? Go home.
3. Do you know how to change a flat tire? Can you tell which one is flat? If not? Go home.
4. If you start any of your sentences with "yo" ...Go home.
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