I am sick. There is an alien inside my skull and he is leaking slime. It's really gross and I'd apologize AGAIN to my coworkers for being at work hacking and coughing yesterday, but I think they lost interest in my blog because it's not as funny as Erik's or the others. Ehh. What can you do? It's one of those catch-22's, I was supposed to be off most of this week, so if I had called in sick Tuesday and Wednesday my boss would probably say "Oh, sure you're sick" - could you blame him?
There are all sorts of strange things that pass through your mind while you are sick.
For example, Barry Manilow is NOT an attractive man and he shouldn't ever dance. He was on Good Morning America today live from Vegas, and some of the women there WEPT while watching him. OK, get a grip now, ladies!! Apparently most of Barry's fans are old women with huge, er, frontal regions. Scary. That being said, I adore him anyway and would drop everything to go back to Vegas again to see him. He is kicking off a year's worth of performances there tonight. Seriously, let's go. Well, not today, I'm sick.
When I am sick I pretty much want to be left alone with my misery. This means I want to lie in bed with about 6 pillows, two crocheted afghans, a box of tissue, and the remote. Unless of course, my son comes to me with a tiny bear who just wants to sing to me "Fuzzy Wuzzy was a Bear/Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair / So Fuzzy Wuzzy wasn't fuzzy, was he?" (you have no idea how hard that was to type in my incoherent state. I feel like I am DUI)
Example #2 - Is there any chance that Mel Gibson could become Pope ? No, I know. Never mind.
My ears itch. Inside. Like there are caterpillars down in there - I have this urge to jab a really sharp pencil in but somehow I know that would not be a Good Thing. Note, I am going to the doctor today to see if I have a sinus infection, or what... my doctor is pretty cool. He's smart AND he doesn't give me the heebie jeebies. He's pretty funny - he tells all of his interns about how D tried to pick off his own nipples once, because he is a boy and he didn't think he was supposed to have them. For real. He was about 3.
I am normally very into American Idol because it's something I can watch with my kids but this week I just could care less, perhaps because of the alien. I'll let you know next week. I'm going back to sleep.
4 comments:
Hope you feel better! Make Mr. C buy you some good magazines and juice and stuff.
Hey we still read your blog. And it's not a pity read either. We do it for lines like "it feels like there are catepillars in there" which is just a disturbing visual.
I read it for the knowledge you drop, and also to leave racy and suggestive comments, some humorous asides.
The being sick stuff isn't helping with the racy and suggestive comments, however.
I like the racy stuff too. Mel Gibson as Pope? What meds are you taking there Carly? He's too sexy to be pope, too sexy to be pope, too sexy you know....
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