This Fish

So in lieu of an actual status report, I will provide an update via song, with apologies to Faith and all of the songwriters in the world who posess actual talent at writing lyrics...

This Fish (tune from This Kiss, as recorded by Faith Hill)

(v1)
I don’t want another headache
I don’t need another kid to cry
I don’t want to learn the hard way
Poor fish: oh, no, goodbye

Tries to swim up to the surface
Sinks right back down the bowl!

(chorus)
It’s the way he's floating
He's flopped over like THIS
It’s the lack of motion
It’s a sickly fish
It’s that pivotal moment
It’s impossible
This fish, this fish (so flushable)
This fish this fish

(v2)
Ariel said to Nemo
How do fish die overnight?
All I wanted was a goldfish
With a small bowl, air pump, fake plants

Drive me off to the pet store
Mommy has to buy some more...

(repeat chorus)

You can feed him in the daylight
(But not too much or he will die)
You can feed him in the nighttime
(Not too much or he will die)
Feed him in sweet slow motion
Smelly flakes fall from the sky

The Fish is floating, you overfed him!

(repeat chorus)
This fish, this fish (it's criminal)
This fish, this fish....