Take another little piece of my heart, baby

As you may know, NICU patients and nurses are very near and dear to my heart.

This news story in particular kills me, for that very reason. It just seems like every story, every hour, brings more despair. My sister and I were on the phone today discussing the news and we were both in tears over the incomprehensible suffering. We feel almost guilty to live where we do...a little snow now and then.

The remanants of Kat are here in upstate NY and I got caught in a downpour going from our school to the car. One minute, and I was soaked. I can't imagine being out on a roof for hours, in total shock after clawing my way through that same roof.

I'm almost glad my children are still just a little bit too young to understand the depths of it all.

PS - fuck you, Iraqui propaganda bastards.... this is not God's punishment to America... bite me, hard.

Katrina

I have to say, I am humbled by the horrible devastation down South.

I knew my previous post about MY house was shallow, but dammit, I didn't know I could feel THIS bad about writing those words.

If you are reading this, right now, you are fortunate. You and I are sitting in warm, dry homes, with clean clothes on and food in our kitchens. We have televisions and computers and other toys which are beyond the wildest dreams of peasants on the other side of the world and even in our own hemisphere.

Give. Give money, now, today, to help the relief agencies. Pick one. Don't tell me "I never give to XYZ because they are corrupt." Shut up and pick a charity you CAN support. At the bottom of this post is a list.

Take out that credit card - you know you have it right near the PC. You use it to buy clothes, download music, play online poker, whatever. Put it to good use. Give a little. It will still help. Give a little bit more. Stop and really think about it for a minute , and then give the way that you would give if it was YOUR mother, your brother, your cousins.

These people have literally been left with nothing. They're reeling from shock and the pain of knowing that some of their families, their best friends, are missing and probably dead. Life as they know it is over. Everything they own - every sentimental gift they ever received, every photograph of their families, all gone. They are hungry and thirsty and surrounded by water full of more vile stuff than you can imagine. Sewage. Chemicals. Bodies.

If you have family down south, and have not been able to contact them, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

****

The Federal Emergency Management Agency lists these organizations for those seeking to assist victims of Hurricane Katrina:
Donate cash:
American Red Cross (800) HELP NOW (435-7669) English; (800) 257-7575 Spanish
Operation Blessing (800) 436-6348
America's Second Harvest (800) 344-8070

To donate cash or volunteer:
Adventist Community Services (800) 381-7171
Catholic Charities, USA (703) 549-1390
Christian Disaster Response (941) 956-5183 or (941) 551-9554
Christian Reformed World Relief Committee (800) 848-5818
Church World Service (800) 297-1516
Convoy of Hope (417) 823-8998
Lutheran Disaster Response (800) 638-3522
Mennonite Disaster Service (717) 859-2210
Nazarene Disaster Response (888) 256-5886
Presbyterian Disaster Assistance (800) 872-3283
Salvation Army (800) SAL-ARMY (725-2769)
Southern Baptist Convention -- Disaster Relief (800) 462-8657, ext. 6440
United Methodist Committee on Relief (800) 554-8583

More insomnia

I actually left the house yesterday, for a small gathering hosted by Mr. C's fellow boardmember (on a charity he is involved with).

Had soda. Well, 3 sodas, to be exact, to remain awake and functional despite the sinus infection which is still pounding me. Those of you who know me well, are laughing already. You know that one soda, ok, two sodas, not smart, three sodas, very bad idea.

At 2:00 A.M. I was w-i-d-e awake, and contemplating the host couple's home with a fair amount of envy. We're talking a beautiful side hall colonial with a dining room, formal living room, family room, inground pool, the works. It was very tastefully decorated and everything was in perfect order. All of the furniture matched beautifully. Honestly, could have been in a magazine.

This woman is 10 years older than me and I found myself wondering if it's even remotely possible that in 10 years I could ever have a home like that. (I'm not really usually very optimistic when I ponder things at 2 A.M.)

Nine years ago I made the choice to go part time, effectively cutting my salary by 40 % so that I could take care of my daughter and embark on having another child. I added that number up in my head last night, and cried a little bit, because that money I walked away from would have put me in a house like that today. Selfish? Maybe.

It's not that I regret my choice, really. Except for every once in a while at 2 A.M.

I love to be home waiting for them to get off the school bus, and have time to help them with their homework and make a decent dinner. I honestly don't know if I could keep up with the Joneses if I had to work full time. I don't think I could cut it. (When would I have time to blog?)

For a long time now we have been in limbo. We knew that Mr. C would lose his job, given the trend at our company to favor having employees in certain cities. We were very fortunate - when it finally happened he got an excellent severance package. He found a new job and maybe now we can start to look for another house. Only, surprise, housing prices are just shooting up like crazy around here. So I'm not sure we're really getting anywhere yet.

Our present home is nice, don't get me wrong. But every so often I am overwhelmed by the urge to throw away half of what we own, just so that I don't feel like every room is about to explode from so many things being stuffed in.

I'd love to have some deep meaningful insight to offer you all to wrap this up, but I'm really coming up blank. I am grateful for what I have, I guess it's just human nature to look at someone else's and say "gee, that would be nice...." Anyone have a cure for a mild case of envy?

Flash Fiction Friday #5

If you've never joined in, click on the title link to visit Purgatorian, and read the other stories at least. You might still have time this week. If not, there's always next Friday.

Big Tree

My heart broke...

The tree had been split nearly in half by the lightning strike. The sight of the scorched wood brought tears to my eyes.

I stood at the top of the hill, and I looked at the beautiful farmland, extending as far as the eye could see. Our farm. Two family farms, joined together. The rolling fields of corn and wheat, so close to harvest. The air was fresh and cool after the storm.

This was our tree. The tree we climbed when we were young and you were just a awkward boy with long skinny limbs full of energy.

This was the tree you pulled me behind for our first kiss. I remember how my heart fluttered as you took my hand and pulled me out of sight of the house, and how I had to stand on my tiptoes to reach up to your warm mouth.

We courted here, and you proposed to me under this tree, by the light of the harvest moon, all of those years ago.

This was the tree we would sit under in the heat of summer, dreaming of the children that were to come. I'd make a basket of fried chicken, some biscuits, and we'd sip sweet tea from mason jars.

This was the tree I tied a yellow ribbon around, when you finally came home to me from the war.

When the children came, you helped them climb up into the tree, because it had grown so much by then. You hung up a swing for them, and their laughter drifted out over the farm. I miss that sound.

This tree was meant to shade you forever, William.

I knelt down and brushed a few leaves off of the stone, and traced your name with my fingertip. Has it really been five years?

It's like I can't breathe

...with apologies to Kelly Clarkson because that's not a bad song, really, even if it's not so much lyrics I want my daughter singing... It's like I can't breathe, without you inside of me? Oh yikes...

Well I took my antibiotics last night, and the decongestants (the prescription label said take one or two twice daily, so yesterday I had four - two at about 7 am and two at dinnertime, about 6:30. That is correct, right?? Because, holy crap. Obviously these decongestants are Not My Friend. I was awake until about 2:30 A.M., an hour I haven't really seen since about 1987, except for that little casino trip recently. )

I tried to go to bed around 10:30 and just couldn't get comfortable. The sinus infection seems to be migrating down to bronchitis or something. I sound like an old woman who smokes five packs a day, and I feel like someone has their fist plunged into my right lung and they are scooping around trying to find the prize at the bottom of the cereal box. Dammit.

So when the Mr. came in about an hour later to go to sleep I tried to be noble, since he had to actually GET some sleep to go to work today. I went out to the family room and stretched out on the recliner, where for the first time I noticed that our vcr's clock isn't set (we have DVR, we only use the vcr to play tapes for the kids). The damn VCR was blinking like an airport beacon. I shoved a book in front of it because I knew that in my groggy state I wouldn't be able to make that effer stop blinking. Then I was cold, and I opened the one cabinet where I knew a blanket was stashed, only to find that it was put in with those nasty scented candles you light to keep mosquitoes away (except they never work). So the blanket reeked and I let that smell out into the entire room. Dammit.

At this point I knew I wouldn't fall asleep so I went over to the computer to surf around.

This was about the most amusing thing I found in my semi-stoned condition:

50 coolest onscreen rides

Hey, that's all I've got today. It's a beautiful day and I feel like crap. I'm depressed as hell because it's GORGEOUS out and I barely have the oomph to walk around. Goodnight.

PS: Any and all more interesting links would be appreciated.

Skinny Dip and Skinny food

I just finished reading Skinny Dip by Carl Hiaasen.

Charles "Chaz" Perrone fancies himself a take-charge kind of guy. So when this "biologist by default" suspects that his curvaceous wife, Joey, has stumbled onto a profitable pollution scam he's running on behalf of Florida agribusiness mogul Red Hammernut, he sets out right away to solve the problem--by heaving Joey off the deck of a luxury cruise liner and into the Atlantic Ocean, far from Key West. But--whoops!--Joey, a former swimming champ, doesn't drown. Instead, as Carl Hiaasen tells in his 10th novel, Skinny Dip, she makes her way back to shore, thanks both to a wayward bale of Jamaican marijuana and lonerish ex-cop Mick Stranahan (Skin Tight, 1989), and then launches a bogus blackmail campaign that's guaranteed to drive her lazy, libidinous hubby into a self-protective frenzy.

This book is a great beach/pool book. Joey and her new best friend drive Chaz crazy with several stunts designed to make him think he's lost his mind. Thumbs up!

Thumbs down, however, for the Luna Iced Oatmeal Raisin bar. I bought two after reading something good about it online. If I eat cereal at home in the morning, by the time I get to work I am already hungry, unless I eat something Very Bad like a Burger King sort of breakfast instead of the cereal, which has the unfortunate side effect of making half of my clothes not fit.

So today I tried one. Ay chi wawa, this thing tasted like dirt. If I hadn't been sitting at my desk at work I would have spit it out. As it was, someone walked in when I was furiously digging through my purse to find the other one to throw it way lest I somehow get trapped in an elevator and forced to eat it to survive. No thanks. My friend thought I was looking for a napkin to spit something out, but that's just gross.

FFF #4 (very late)

With apologies to Purgatorian, I got this idea stuck in my head and decided to write the story today anyway, even though I'm late. (He gives us a lead off sentence every Friday, but I was away all weekend.)

*******Chilling********

The day was hot but there was ice in the sink.

"Dammit!" he shouted. He picked up the remnants of the block of ice and could see where it had been hacked apart. The ice pick lay on the counter next to the sink. He picked it up and held it in his hand, imagining the pivotal scene from Psycho playing out in his own kitchen.

Scree, scree scree!

He dialed her cellphone number and cursed again when it dropped to her voicemail. After the beep he snapped, "Angela, call me. Now." He struggled to compose himself. "Honey, please, call me soon."

He dropped the phone on the counter and wondered where she had gone this time. What designer was running his platinum card through a machine that very moment?

He paced the kitchen, running his hands through his hair in frustration. When the phone rang, he snatched it up impatiently.

"Darling... you really ought to calm down" she purred in his ear. "We *Do* have a deal, you know. I won this week, fair and square."

"Keep it below a thousand, please" he muttered. "I don't want to get ahead of our winnings."

"It's called Win For Life, baby, for a reason! Maybe next week you'll do a better job of hiding my card."

###

Summer's over

... well not technically, but it sure is starting to feel like it. I have my annual allergy-induced sinus infection coming on, and I love it oh so much every autumn. Damn rotting leaves. Foliage, schmoliage. Hey, ragweed, I hate you too.

I actually saw geese flying south tonight on the way home. I wanted to pull over the car to get out and scream "No!! Not yet!! I only used our season passes to Great Escape once!!" but, well, police frown on that sort of thing.

Every year around this time my father sighs and plaintively says "Well, summer's over" as though he won't be here next summer. Since he's been doing this for about 30 years it's hard to put stock in the angst. "oh, Dad..."

Autumn. Soccer games every Saturday AND Sunday, and back-to-school selling magazines fundraisers, and my kids' birthdays (one day apart, but separated by 3 years). Racing home from work to help with homework and twice the laundry (school uniforms) and actually having to cook a real dinner because Country Drive In is closing soon.

I'm worrying already about getting ready for Christmas (because I'm sure to end up hosting the family dinner *AGAIN*.) I really have to tell my 10-almost-11 year old that there's no Santa Claus. That sucks. I don't want kids at school to make fun of her.

Help me out... tell me your favorite things about autumn. Mine are.... um.... sweaters. I love my sweaters. I have about 500,000. Really.

Big Tripper

So, I went to the Mirror Lake Inn this weekend. They have a gorgeous, fan-really it's amazing-tastic spa. I signed up for a sweeeeedish massage.

When I got there the receptionist showed me around the ladies' side of the "sanctuary" area, which contains rosewood lockers and a shower/dressing area. That flows into the steambath room, and then there is a whirlpool tub with a fireplace next to it. It's all VERY nice. You enjoy the steam room and whirlpool, then go into the next room down which is a waiting area with couches, and you go in to your actual appointment from there.

At the end of my massage, which was great, the therapist mentioned that I could go back in the whirlpool, and so I did. There was no one around, and so I went in wearing only my birthday suit. I only tell you this, because it makes the story better if you know the WHOLE story. It is a wrinkled, non-airbrushed sort of birthday suit, but shut up anyway.

After a few minutes, I could see through the fireplace that someone had re-entered the lounge area so I decided to get out. I didn't want to be caught in the tub if the jets went off and have someone think I was a wierdo.

I tried to casually wrap a towel around myself as I was going up the whirlpool stairs but I dropped one edge. Yes, then I tripped on the towel, going up the pool stairs. It was sort of a stumble-trip, drop the towel, grab the towel, stumble-grab-the-handrail, oh shit sort of moment that took maybe one second, and felt like 30. I splashed and swore and basically just about had a heart attack. I almost fell on my naked ass in one of the most lovely spas around. Wouldn't that have just been so special?

I called my sister afterward. She is sick (again) and so I thought it would cheer her up if I called to tell her my little story, and she laughed hysterically and then told me how proud she was that
a) no one actually saw me and
b) I didn't fall on my face in front of Phil Vassar and embarrass her when we met him.

Ciao

I'll be back in a few days. Everything's fine with my kids, (except they're still driving me crazy because the slapping thing was a mountain/molehill thing and then the OTHER kid mouthed off to the sitter after lunch today in a hugely offensive remark and when she was telling me about it I had to fight the urge to say "Gee, looks like you slapped the wrong kid the other day, huh?" - if I knew her a little better I could have made that joke.)

...and I'm going away for the weekend. I'll be in the hotel spa, so leave me alone you effing blog spammers! Comments from people who aren't trying to sell something are always welcome.

So be good, everybody. And, if you can't be good, be careful. :o)

Delizza: take 6 and don't call me in the morning

It was a REALLY long morning.

Kid 1 came home last night, moped around, and finally said "the babysitter slapped me in the face. " Much sobbing and drama ensued. My initial reaction was "...and were you talking back fresh at the time? I'll tell her I don't want her to slap you. We've never discussed the topic."

But overnight that festered into "I can't allow someone to raise a hand to my child. My sister doesn't even hit/spank my children. I don't even spank my kids " with much anxiety for me, since I. Hate. Confrontations.

So I called this morning and tried to ask diplomatically, my child says that you slapped yesterday, and I need to talk to you about that. She became semi-hysterical, and denied vigorously, and all sorts of emotion came pouring out on all sides. Because, Kid has never lied to me, not about something like that. And don't you have to believe your kid even when the adult is saying "Nuh uh" ?? Someone else got brought into it (because they were all at that person's home, and that person swears they saw no sign of anything happening... ) and it was just total chaos. Both of my phones ringing like crazy, my sister trying to get Kid to tell her what reeeeeeeeally happened, I was trying to get to a pediatrician's appointment that when I arrived for I found had somehow gotten canceled by someone (not me!!)

Balls, said the Queen. If I had 'em, I'd be king....


So how do you know when your kid is lying? As far as Mr. C and I know at this point, maybe the sitter lightly tapped Kid on the face to get full attention and be firm in the point she was making. Maybe my kid is afraid to say "well, it wasn't a SLAP but...." I've tried to give the way to wriggle out several times.

I have 8 more work days until school starts. Mr. C is going to go there tomorrow, with the kids, and sit Kid and Sitter down and try to talk it through, because we asked Kid and Kid is willing to go back, but afraid of getting chewed out the second we leave.

Disaster recover plan A is to beg my in-laws, who are nearly 80, to watch the kids for those 8 days. Plan B involves patching together a mishmash of our usual teenage babysitters.

The only thing that saved the day from being 100% train wreck was the friend who gave me a shoulder to cry on over lunch (because by noon I was totally irrational and emotionally strung out about the entire thing) and somehow convinced me that I am not The Very Worst Mommy Ever and This Will Work Out.

I have a pounding headache, and a million things to do. So, naturally, I'm blogging. Later, the boxes of wine and pastries will come out.

A new necklace

Here's a new one I did over the weekend. The center is a blown glass bead that contains dragonflies and white flowers. It didn't scan well but the digital camera did worse.

This is 3 strands on one clasp - kind of hard to get the lengths right but this one looks very good with a plain white t-shirt and jeans. At least that's the feedback I got from one of my favorite people.

Carpe Demon

I just finished a book...

http://www.juliekenner.com/CarpeDemon.htm

I wanted to abandon this book midway because the "mom worrying about my kids being killed by demons" angle was bothering me. I wanted something a JUST little lighter. But otherwise I found it to be a very well written book. Some of the little asides she makes are hilarious as her "soccer mom" and "demon hunter" worlds collide. If this is made into a movie, look for someone like Jennifer Garner in the lead, after she has her bambino and gets back into shape.

I could try to write a better review, but I'm not really a literary critic so I can't quite do it justice. Good poolside book. Go buy it.

Various ways to drive me nuts

In no particular order (ok, chronologically today)

• Be out of work the day I need your new spy-size digital camera -- to document the fact that the bathroom sink (at WORK) looks like someone killed someone, then cleaned the bloody knife in that sink. (something is seriously wrong with that soap pump, it oooozed all over the sink and pink dried out nasty soap is scary at 8 A.M.)
• Call me at 4:55 pm to tell me there's someone I never heard of who should have been included in meetings for a project I inherited 5 months ago, who is now saying that they have issues. Issues, my ass, Shamus has issues, ...go tell him.
• Tell me you want to go to dinner, pick the place, then complain about the cost.....
• Tell me you are "full", then ask for dessert
• Bring me a 3rd glass of wine, tell me that you knew the bartender made a mistake, but they insisted so you brought it, sorry, then TAKE IT AWAY. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
• Fight OVER AND OVER about what you're all watching on tv when we have another one in the house.

Momma needs some quiet time....

FFF #3

(click on the title link if you need me to esssplain this)


"You thought I forgot, didn't you?"

She spun around, her face composed. He knew her well enough to see the crackle of fear in her eyes.

"You thought I forgot about the key."

She nodded, once. He could sense that a chill was rushing through her body, as panic began to take over.

"I had plenty of time to think about it. Ten years in jail." He laughed softly. "Time off for good behavior. Isn't it ironic?"

"I wouldn't have believed it at first. Not from you. You loved me." He reached out, and tenderly traced the her jaw with the back of his fingers. She stiffened, and something inside him suddenly snapped, and he slapped her once, hard, on the cheek.

In only a moment he had regained control of himself. Her eyes filled with tears, but only one slid slowly down her cheek. "Billy...."

He cut her off by raising his hand again. She flinched and fell silent.

"I must say," he continued, "you were very efficient. It was brilliant. In one move, checkmate. Eliminate your lover, corner me, and keep all of this" - he waved his arm in a wide circle around the living room, "for yourself."

"I guess I was careless... leaving my keys at home that morning. You brought my keys to me at the studio, but you took the key to the back door off the ring. You planted evidence in my office- to make it look as though I killed him."

His hand shot down to encircle her wrist. He slowly twisted her arm behind her back, until his face was inches from hers.

"I noticed, remember? You know that I notice things. I can't help it. It was a colored key. It always bothered me that it was colored, and not silver like the other keys, but that's why I noticed it was gone. I started to ask you about it - but the doorbell rang before you could lie. They came for me. They came to tell me that my partner, my best friend was dead, and because we'd argued in front of people the day before, I was the primary suspect, and I was immediately brought in for questioning. I was so stunned by the news of his death that I forgot the keys. Then they found the gun, and it was mine, and it had been fired. The bullet matched. That was it for me."

She was visibly trembling now, much to his satisfaction.

"It didn't even come together for me, until I re-read the transcript of the trial. No signs of forced entry to the studio. You went in the back way, and shot him. Cowardly bitch, did he even see you coming? Was he still alive when you put the gun in my desk?"

"He deserved it!" she screamed. He pushed her forward, hard, and she tumbled on to the couch and then twisted around to look at him, shrieking. "He was going to leave me, and tell you everything, so that you would divorce me. I just wanted to frighten him, to punish him. I shot him because he was laughing at me."

"Poor baby," he growled. "You would have had nothing. Instead you've had plenty of time and money to yourself. Well, you'll have plenty of time on your hands now." He smirked as the officers entered the room.

"Bye bye, baby, I'll never forget you."

Delizza

I will never be skinny, because when I have a bad day I whip my box of Delizza frozen cream puffs out of the freezer and put some on a plate. Drink one glass of wine, then the cream puffs are defrosted, to have with the 2nd glass.

Very simple.

Lona

this is Lona.... F-Bert's girlfriend

she's usually pretty pleasant (owns a little health food store) but right now she's pissed... because she has no feet...

The Palm notepad has 3 pencil thicknesses to choose from, but the key feature is the eraser. Poor Lona had at least 5 arms before I gave up on hands...

For the person who asked - I Hotsynch to transfer the sketch over to Palm desktop, then view it there. Then I hit the printscreen key to capture the entire screen. I can "paste" that into printshop or another graphics editor, and crop it, and save/export as JPEG format. I'm sure someone else could do this in about 3 fewer steps... but that's how I do it.

F-Bert

This is F-ckBert. I was really annoyed at someone yesterday and while I was on the phone, I doodled F-Bert on my Palm pilot. Actually I drew a middle finger and went from there...

See how his hair is giving you the bird, Person I Was Annoyed At? (Well, hopefully you are not reading this blog, because I don't think you know about it, but whatever....)

Don't send the guys in the white coats for me just yet....

Wierd dream

Last night I had this dream:

I was at a resort. We were standing outside, enjoying the summer weather. Something large flew over my head. It was a flying motorcycle of some sort. It was cool, very futuristic, the size of a large jetski. This woman was driving and had two passengers, who were sightseeing.

They swooped very low over a huge in-ground swimming pool at the resort. I remember thinking they would hit the white picket fence around it, just as the cycle paused in midair, backed up, and then she accelerated to try again. Almost made it, stopped at last second again.

That time, she stalled. She dropped down as if in slow motion. Into the pool she went, with her two passengers.

Then I went to blog it, and Johnny V. had already blogged it, with movie footage from his digital camera or something.

(I hate you, Johnny.)

What does this dream mean, other than "Don't Drink Wine Right Before Bed" ? Why can't I have good dreams like other people?

Breaking up is hard to do

This one's for the girls, because boys, your eyes will just glaze over and stuff, unless you're metrosexual or something. Not that there's...

I got a letter today from the woman who cuts my hair. In essence, she has been at the new salon 2 years and it's time to raise her rates to match those of her coworkers.

At the place I used to go to (her previous employer), it cost about $60 for color & cut. I have been very very gray for about 15 years so I consider "color" as essential as brushing my teeth. Call me vain if you want, but there it is.

The same service at New Place is now going to cost me $88 plus tip. So, more or less it's 50% more! If I want highlights too, I would have to pony up $113 - this doesn't even figure in tip (ballpark $17-22) which brings me up to $130. Throw in some shampoo and hairspray so on, and I'm hitting $175.

Mr. Carly saw the letter and basically said "Uh, yeah... NO." Every five weeks? So not going to happen.

So I am shaving my head.

No, really. It's just that this woman has been cutting my hair for about 14 years. She is like the big sister I never had. She invited me to her kids' graduation parties, I have invited her to stuff.... she was one of the first people I told about my miscarriage, because she was one of the only ones who knew I was pregnant. She celebrated my subsequent successful pregnancies with me. We have talked about damn near everything over the past 14 years.

I was just telling someone recently that I never have the "Oh I got a bad haircut and I hate it" problems, because I know I can always trust her.

SO, how do I say "Um, yeah... no" to her????? I can go back to the old shop, since I know the owner, and actually I like the environment better there, but I feel like such a traitor. What a mess.

Stupid, or drunk?

read the fan part

if you saw video of this, the funny part was that he climbed up the net, and the cops grabbed him up. They lifted him over the railing and you could almost hear him saying "OK, let me down now, let me down..... ohhhhhh"

Yes, I'm up too late. But I don't have to go to work tomorrrrrrow.

They're gonna love me at Office Max

This little list was on our school's webpage - it is what my daughter needs to buy for "back to school". (Read between the lines, it's also "Back to Debt for Mommy and Daddy".)

Grade 5
Supply List – Please make a note of the color coordination for each class. This is important and must be followed.

All subjects
4 three-ring zipper pencil cases to keep in binders (which is why we need about 30 pencils)
3-4 packages loose leaf (wide-ruled)
reinforcements for loose leaf (I had to explain to Mr. Carly what these are)
2 packages #2 pencils
1 package red pens
blue and black pens (how many, for the love of John, how many??????)
pencil sharpener (I have a rockin' electric one)
black Sharpie marker (fine point? bold point? permanent??)
colored pencils
scissors (Fiskars-small)
washable colored markers (what's the point, they're going to get em-effing sharpie all over their uniforms anyway)
pencil box
3 boxes tissues (classroom use)

Math
2-3 red composition notebooks
1 red spiral notebook for homework
ruler, compass and protractor (label with your name, they will be stored in the classroom)
post-it notes (small tab-type)

Computer
1 IBM Compatible Floppy (I soooooo want to send in 5.25")

Reading/English
1 green composition notebook
1 green two-pocket folder with prongs to insert papers
1 package of 50 lined note cards
1" green binder
5 subject tab dividers
1 orange two pocket folder (this will clash. I mean, REALLY.)

Science
1 ½" purple binder
1 purple two-pocket folder
5 subject tab dividers

Social Studies
1 ½" blue binder
2 blue two-pocket folders
5 subject tab dividers

Religion
1 ½" black binder
1 black two-pocket folder
1 black composition notebook
5 subject tab dividers

Spanish
1 yellow two-pocket folder
1 subject yellow spiral notebook

Art/Music
2 any two-pocket folders


Holy crap. I need a home equity loan, and I can see I'll be walking around OMax like Rainman or something. The blue binder has to be 1.5" but the green one has to be 1" but the purple one can be 1.5". Kmart, Kmart underwear.

I pity the woman who goes out the night before school to buy this crap - I can picture someone in Walmart at 11:05 sobbing hysterically. I'm going to buy 20 sets of this shit and sell it to the other parents at 5x the price.

Or maybe I'll home school this year.

My head, it doth explode

WHY do my children have to push food around their plate like it is some sort of vile, toxic sludge forced upon them by slimy alien beings?

Eat your effing dinner and don't give me any crap. Don't give me the puppy eyes like I've pulled off my belt and I'm going to whack you, because I have never done that shit and making you eat two scallops, a spoonful of carrots and some lovely white rice with a parmesan cheese sauce is just not the same thing. Do not make a 20 minute dinner take one hour, because you will sit there on your teeny little butts for two hours if that's what it takes. Rachel Ray couldn't make this damn meal any better and these scallops cost $13 a pound and you will NOT actually DIE if you don't eat a mothereffing hotdog tonight. And stop whispering because I can hear you from the desk. Last week you said you love carrots, dammit.

Anyone got some Tylenol? Or a big box of cheap wine?

My grandfather used to look at me and say "Don't ever get married." Then he'd laugh. I used to think he was kidding.

Hounded

My son (almost 8) wants a dog.

No, make that he WANTS a dog.

He has the name already (Oscar) and knows that Oscar will sleep on his bed. I have tried to explain, Honey, Mom's at work most of the day and the dog would be lonely and who would walk him and bathe him and feed him?

"I would."

yeah.....

Today we were at Rite aid getting things like Q-Tips (genuine) and contact lens solution and random other little things and he picked out the chewy bone he will buy for his dog. He told the cashier "I'm getting a dog and I'm going to come back here and buy a leash and a bone and a dish for him."

She laughed at me. She knows I'm a goner. It won't be long before he wears me down.

You know, honestly, maybe having a dog wouldn't be so bad...

By association

I have some weird links formed in my brain.

For instance, when it is 4:44 PM, I often notice the time, and it makes me instantly think of my grandmother, because that was her house number - 444 - 8th Ave.

Do other people do this or is it just one more way I am "special"? Haha.





My grandmother taught me solitaire. (Left handed deal, 3 cards turned at a time). It's about all I remember of her. We played almost every day for a while, because she lived with us for a few months when she had cancer. I would go and sit on the bed with her, and we would play cards. I don't remember much about our conversations, because I was about ten years old.


I have her hutch in my kitchen. I'm sure it's not antique per se, but I love it and will (hopefully) never part with it. Of course, if my sister speaks up, we may have a problem, but that's not really her personality and I would be more than willing to share it somehow.

Red sky at night

This cloud was in the sky the other night at my house.

I love stuff like this... I did not edit this photo in any way. On my digital camera I couldn't get a wide enough angle. A fisheye (180*) lens would have been fantastic because this cloud had some very interesting shapes.

doo doot doo doot, doo doo doo

Have you seen the commercial for Great Escape / Six Flags? You know, the one with the obnoxious beeping sound that gets stuck in your head for a week and a half?

Well, we went there today but we didn't see that old man jitterbugging anywhere.

I'm really glad I finally got there because I bought season passes for myself and the kids and we haven't been yet, until today. Arrrgh! But, two visits and the purchase price is covered so if we get there one more time I'll be ok.

Today was a swimming day, we did the wave pool and the lazy river. For that one split second in the wave pool I thought "I'm too far out, the next wave is going to knock me off my feet for good and the teenage lifeguards will have to rescue my sorry butt in front of all of these people" but then I regrouped. In the next moment my son, bobbing up and down in his lifejacket, said "Thanks for bringing us here, Mom, this is awesome!!"

It makes me especially happy to do stuff like this because, well, my Mom hates to go ANYWHERE like that and I just want to not ever end up like that, for my children's sake. SO, I drag myself through the park toting the wet suits and towels. (Really, look at this map, it's as far as it could POSSIBLY be from the effing parking lot... on either side of the words "splashwater kingdom" you will find the wave pool and the lazy river. Dammit.)

Of course the real fun is looking at everyone and mentally categorizing them into groups like "Never", "Anytime", etc and also "I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that".

Next time, the rest of the park - rides and other attractions.

Tagged again? Isn't there a cure for this?

thanks to John aka Shop Dungarees , this was fun but I have just spent FOREVER typing this up... and I can't think of anyone to tag except Shamus and Johnny, but I don't think either one of them will do this.......

10 years ago: I was still working full time, with a baby about to turn one year old, in a two bedroom house that was TOO SMALL. The baby was in a crib 3' from the desk/ computer etc. We added on the next fall and it was like a new house. Huge new family room, bigger kitchen, another bedroom... It was awesome. (Now, it's too small again!)

5 years ago: I was an overworked mother of two very young children. It's all a blur, I'm not remembering much, but my daughter was in first grade, and it was a struggle, and she ultimately repeated the grade. There were days when a worksheet took an hour and she'd cry for at least half that time in frustration because she knew she just didn't understand. I don't wish that kind of stuff on anyone.

1 year ago: I had heart surgery. I had never heard of a blog. The summer seemed so much longer than this one.

Yesterday: was 91 but with the humidity it felt like 97 and I already have discussed this

Tomorrow: hang out with my sister and her new boyfriend, who is a pal of mine from work that I *FINALLY* fixed her up with after years of trying now & then. Then for dinner we will go up to Saratoga

5 snacks I enjoy: chex mix, gummi bears, rippled chips with french onion dip, maple sugar candy, skittles. I hate chocolate, coconut and peanut butter so don't give me any of that crap.

5 bands/artists that I know the lyrics to most of their songs: Rob Thomas/matchbox twenty, Gloria Estefan, Faith Hill, Billy Joel, and Kelly Clarkson because my daughter plays her cd's all the time.

5 things I'd do with $100,000,000: pay off the mortagage so I could quit my job, invest for kiddo college bills, buy a new mustang, buy a cabin (with a big comfortable bed, and full bath with shower, Johnny you pain in the...) and a canoe, or have a Blogger reunion weekend up at Lake George and supply all the food, drinks, and accomodations

5 locations I'd like to run away to: England, Italy, California, Bermuda, and Las Vegas

5 bad habits I have: SWEARING, not being careful with money, not working as hard as I should, blogging too much, taking people for granted

5 things I like doing: shopping with my sister, making jewelry, scrapbooking, canoeing, drinking wine while I am eating those little frozen cream puffs you can buy in the supermarket 5 things I will never wear: acrylic nails, thong bikini (you're welcome), a poncho, leather pants, miniskirts...

5 TV shows I like: Desperate Housewives, Sex & the City, Survivor, Extreme Home Makeover, NYPD Blue, (and any good awards show where I can critique the fashions)

5 movies I like: Somewhere in Time, Spiderman 1 & 2, National Treasure, ... I don't see very many movies....

5 people I'd like to meet: eh... dunno... running out of steam here....

5 biggest joys at the moment: hugs from my daughter, a kiss on the cheek from my son where he presses really hard and holds my face, my soon-to-be niece or nephew will be here SOON, long lunches and long weekends with my rapidly growing family (can you tell my job is not my biggest joy? so, like, when I'm not there...)

5 favorite toys: my PC, my DVR, bread machine, my digital camera and scrapbook/ cardmaking stuff, and my tools to make jewelry

Horsesh......oes

I practically got heatstrokefrom playing horseshoes today in the blazing sun for 2 hours. Tania (who owes me a really good beer, not just something on tap, either) convinced me to play at our company picnic. Neither of us had played before, so we recruited some other people we usually eat lunch with to sign up too, and had two of them play against us in the first round so that we would have a shot in the dark. While we were "practicing", two other people tried to give us some pointers, which is probably the only reason we got points later. We won the first round, but it took an hour and finally the guy running the competition took pity on me and said "whoever gets to 15 first wins."

Tania had this little hop-and-make-noise thing going on but I have to admit she was carrying my lame ass in this game. I either landed the shoe only halfway to the other side or it went waaaaaaaaay off course. I was dangerous. I'm sure it was very comical because there were a bunch of people watching. Only some of them brought me cups of water though... I kept track of who didn't. Buggers.

In the second round we played against this guy who took the game waaaaaaaaay too seriously (Ok, he was good and I already admitted I sucked. Happy now?) He and his partner finished us off fairly quickly in the second round. Itwas annoying because, obviously we sucked, but were there to just have some fun, and he was quoting all these rules we didn't even know, and being a general duck about it. He wouldn't even play left handed now & then to give us a fighting chance! Geez.

It was like 93 degrees. I was beet red. It was truly a shining moment in my athletic career.

Another necklace

This one, I need some feedback on... do you like it this way? Or should I re-string it, and blend the black beads through the pink?

I love to use interesting toggles, and put the clasp in the front when I'm wearing the necklace.

Shell necklace

More of the jewelry I have made...

This necklace is all about the seashell - I pulled colors out of the shell when choosing the beads. The two red beads by the shell normally hang over the drilled hole in the shell, but it wasn't on the scanner quite right.






I love this seashell because it was given to me by someone very special. A long, long time ago it was plucked off of a rocky beach as a way to capture the feelings that were found there...

Office Space

A little something for all of my friends at the bank as we whither away our days in cubicles. This is funny: The Office Was Meant For Me

Yes, I'm blogging quite a bit today. This is what happens to me when I have a big cup of tea when I get to work, soda with lunch, and soda with dinner.

Tomorrow I will crash.

Oh Waiter!!

The first blog I ever read was Waiter Rant. He's moved to a new server and it looks good - check it out!

So anyway, it's basically his fault I have a blog. Well, actually, SOMEONE, you know who you are, who sent me the link to Waiter's blog the week after Christmas and said "Hey, you'd like having a blog...."

I do, but I have wasted, um, spent quite a bit of time this year!!

PS.... I'm buying this

No Spammy comments please....

Dear Anon...

I don't like trolls, and if I had a Corvette, I wouldn't buy parts from you just on principle. Ugh! I hate people who put a phony comment on just so they can link to their own piece of crap site. Yechhhhhh.

Actually the first car I ever drove was a (1969 maybe??) Corvette stingray, white with red leather interior. If I close my eyeses I can remember the smell of that car. It belonged to my boyfriend in college, my senior year. He got quite inebriated one night and handed me the keys.

There were several problems:

1. No license for me, and I had never driven any car
2. I did not know how to use a stick shift... beyond the vague idea of clutch, gas, etc that I got from riding my boyfriend's dirt bike in high school one or two times.
3. I was petrified because it was such a nice car
4. He was in no condition to help me with any advice or suggestions but insisted I should drive anyway.

Of course I got back to my dorm safely... but I'm not sure he didn't need some work done on his car. Oy vey.

Hmm.

Now that I think about it he dumped me right after I graduated. It's probably just as well. He was very Greek and I'm so.... not. It would have been the total opposite of MBFGW.

Bad thing, good thing

We have this little game we play over dinner, every person has to tell one bad thing that happened to them that day, then we go around again and everyone has to tell a good thing.

Where do I start?

bad...

• a communication breakdown with a Very Important Friend
• getting dinged for not having information up to date on a particular system... that was so messed up I had to actually get a new ID created, because they couldn't make mine work
• having to be at work all day instead of swimming with my sister at her pool
• having to be at work at all
• taking a walk at lunchtime, which seemed like a good idea but I was alone and it was too darn hot & muggy to really enjoy it much
• knowing I have come home to at least 4 loads of laundry and a pile of bills to pay

good

• seeing TWO herons on the pond right near my house - I have never seen two at once
• being able to wear blue jeans to work (even if I have to donate to charity for it)
• clearing up the communication with VIF and laughing about a really dumb joke
• seeing hawks while I was out for my lunchtime stroll and having them be close enough so that I could hear their calls
• having my friend tell me I am hip (re: clothes) and don't look almost 40.... thanks!!
• leaving work knowing I don't have to go in tomorrow and can GO SWIMMING
• NOT having to go to soccer practice tonight (on the Ant Fields)

how about you?

100 daze

Well, it is 100 days until the big 4-0 for me.

Don't worry, this won't turn into some sort of lame countdown every day because I'm basically too lazy to stick with a schtick like that.