I actually left the house yesterday, for a small gathering hosted by Mr. C's fellow boardmember (on a charity he is involved with).
Had soda. Well, 3 sodas, to be exact, to remain awake and functional despite the sinus infection which is still pounding me. Those of you who know me well, are laughing already. You know that one soda, ok, two sodas, not smart, three sodas, very bad idea.
At 2:00 A.M. I was w-i-d-e awake, and contemplating the host couple's home with a fair amount of envy. We're talking a beautiful side hall colonial with a dining room, formal living room, family room, inground pool, the works. It was very tastefully decorated and everything was in perfect order. All of the furniture matched beautifully. Honestly, could have been in a magazine.
This woman is 10 years older than me and I found myself wondering if it's even remotely possible that in 10 years I could ever have a home like that. (I'm not really usually very optimistic when I ponder things at 2 A.M.)
Nine years ago I made the choice to go part time, effectively cutting my salary by 40 % so that I could take care of my daughter and embark on having another child. I added that number up in my head last night, and cried a little bit, because that money I walked away from would have put me in a house like that today. Selfish? Maybe.
It's not that I regret my choice, really. Except for every once in a while at 2 A.M.
I love to be home waiting for them to get off the school bus, and have time to help them with their homework and make a decent dinner. I honestly don't know if I could keep up with the Joneses if I had to work full time. I don't think I could cut it. (When would I have time to blog?)
For a long time now we have been in limbo. We knew that Mr. C would lose his job, given the trend at our company to favor having employees in certain cities. We were very fortunate - when it finally happened he got an excellent severance package. He found a new job and maybe now we can start to look for another house. Only, surprise, housing prices are just shooting up like crazy around here. So I'm not sure we're really getting anywhere yet.
Our present home is nice, don't get me wrong. But every so often I am overwhelmed by the urge to throw away half of what we own, just so that I don't feel like every room is about to explode from so many things being stuffed in.
I'd love to have some deep meaningful insight to offer you all to wrap this up, but I'm really coming up blank. I am grateful for what I have, I guess it's just human nature to look at someone else's and say "gee, that would be nice...." Anyone have a cure for a mild case of envy?
6 comments:
I can relate- I do the same whenever my husband and I go to visit friends who made different choices than we did- chosing to both work full time, raking in the bucks. Everyones life can be envied by others- that same person who you are envying might envy you for your ability to have flexible work hours to be there for your kids rather than having them in day care 8-6. Look at your children & be proud of your choice. Nice furniture, an inground pool doesn't take the place of the time you have given them.
Ack what a dilemma. I think taking the hit on salary and being at home with the kids is more important than the nice home with matching furniture. (That's just an observation biased by personal beliefs...).
As far as the envy, create a story in which the owner of the "nice" home (maybe not the people you actually know) have miserable lives? A "money can't buy you happiness" theme to it.
One thing I do every year is bring in my giant trash can from the garage and go room to room saying, "have I used this recently? when will I use it again?" It tends to clear things out quite a bit. Maybe not half but probably 10 to 15 percent. (or pretend you really ARE moving and ask, "do I want to lug this around with me?")
10 years from now you will be so glad that you made the decision to stay home with your children.
Trust me :-)
It's not the size of the house, but what's in the home. We have a biiig house. Biiiiig. Too big for just 2 of us, especially when this week one of us was crying because work was just truly ridiculous, and we're happy just being together, so who needs a house that's too big and the requistite shitty job to support it? Ah, but I digress, this is about you. I hope you do find a bigger home for your family, until then be so happy for what you have! :-)
Nice fancy funiture that matches... pshaw. Where is the hominess in that?
I hope that things work out for you soon... Having been in a place that was too small with too much stuff, I can relate to that frustration.
Feel better soon. I haven't had a S.I. in 4 years (knocks on woods) since we moved here, I figure either 1. I'm due, or 2. It was something in my prior environment that was triggering them.
Hey I justed wanted to say thanks for the link to my blog. I finally got around to adding your blog as a link too.
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