Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Every time I hear your name

A person from another part of my company sent me an email today. Instead of just signing his name, he had the following pertinent (and not-so-much so, as far as I'm concerned) information in his automatic signature

  • interoffice mail code
  • street address (reminder, this is in AN EMAIL)
  • office phone
  • fax
  • pager number
  • cellphone
OK, so I could definitely get in touch with him, if I wanted to.

That was just the start. Then he had a cartoon. Yes, a cartoon, of Boris and Natasha. His name had his nickname - Mig - included, with a shiny asterisk. The asterisk lead to information that his nickname was derived from his given name, which is spanish, because his father was spanish, and the fact that his mother is Russian.

WHO THE HELL CARES????

This crap all made his email over 64 K, for a single sentence. Duuuude.

Oh, wait - he also listed 3 certifications that I'm sure he worked hard for, but I really don't give a damn about.


* * *



I am SO tired. Did NOT sleep well last night, stayed up late messing with my new blogger template. Duh! Today I jogged 14 minutes, in my cold garage. Ugh.

Song by Keith Anderson... XXL Keith Anderson, who can take me pickin' wildflowers any time he wants.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Domestic, Light and Cold

Tonight at the hospital Amelia regaled me with stories of her previous job... she worked at a daycare provider, and one of her coworkers decided to sing "Itsy Bitchy Spider" with the kids.

I should add that yes, we did get ice cream after we finished our volunteer shift. This is becoming a habit. Ooops.... but I found the fact that she picked a giant shard of chocolate out of her ice cream with her fingers to be mildy endearing.

Because, you see, it means she is someone I can be good friends with, given that I tend to use 35 napkins to eat lunch and STILL end up with something stuck between my teeth.

Holy crap, it's not fun to switch to the new blogger un-beta. Especially when your arm is twisted.

By the way, I *AM* doing the Friehofer's 5k this June. Gulp. An old friend of mine runs it every year. So I plan to run, walk, or crawl across the finish line if she will put up with me saying "Wait... wait..." for 45 minutes. Buckle up, kiddies. (And John, it's a women's race... but thanks again!!)



(Song by Dierks)

Monday, January 29, 2007

Return to Sender

It's Random Junk Mail Day, kids! (It's also bubble wrap appreciation day, but I don't have time for that QUITE yet.)

Today I got a flyer from www.jetboatingmontreal.com - yes, jetboats, as in, ride the rapids, etc.

Funny thing is that I got this as part of my PTA duties. Yes, I shall just bring a bunch of elementary school kids to Montreal for the express purpose of sending them on this "embarquement".

Because hey, my tour includes booties and a life jacket. Who doesn't need those?


(Does Elvis count as country music?? Ok, whatever. I have to go explain the entire DVD of "Grease" to my daughter. Why are they called Greasers? This is going to be a long afternoon. )

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Then I Wake Up

Now that Suzy doesn't work nights anymore, we get to see her more. Yaaaay! Last night we had dinner at her place and watched Pirates 2.

It was all great except for one rather jarring moment. My 9 year old is just learning about s-to the e-x. He put it together in his head that a couple we're related to, J and L (who are expecting a baby), had it. He asked Suzy if it's hard to talk to the parents of her NICU patients knowing they had it. She more or less laughed it off, until he brought up "... grandma and grandpa have it."

Yeah, thanks kid, I really want that springing to mind while I drift off tonight. Gaaaah!!




Today's song title by Trace Adkins (... I heart you, Trace. Even though if you weren't famous I'd be afraid of you if I saw you late at night at an ATM, because you're 6'6" and you've got that ponytail biker look... yeah, you scare me. But you pick great songs....like Chrome.)

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Hole in My Head

When I was young, my great grandmother had what I thought was a nice doll. It was about three feet tall with "real" hair (well, you could comb the hair) and it would stand in the corner of Grandma T's living room.

In time, it ended up at our house. I was a little older and not really into dolls anymore, and it ended up in Suzy's room.

There was only one problem: the way the doll was made (so that the arms and legs could move) involved long strands of elastic inside, and eventually the elastic dried out and started to break.

My mother hates clutter and so of course, my father is the exact opposite. I'm sure at least once she wanted to throw the doll away, and he wouldn't hear of it. So, being decidedlyUN-sentimental, one day she simply cut the remaining elastic, which made the arms, legs, and head separate from the torso. She put it all in a big green garbage bag with the intent of fixing it someday, tied the bag shut, and shoved it in Suzy's closet.

What we didn't know was that this COMPLETELY freaked out Suzy. (A 6 or 7 year old child watches their mother dismember a doll that's approximately the same size as said child, and put the pieces in a bag-- can you blame her?)

She was SURE that doll was coming out of the closet to get her. Positive. She had a little set of white bookshelves and every night she would draaaaaag them over to barricade the door. In the morning she would draaaaag the shelves back over to where they belonged. None of us knew.

When she told me this story the other night I laughed and laughed because we had a black cat, which roamed through our house at night, and more than once the cat got a running start and jumped on Suzy's bed during the night, scaring the crap out of her.

Isn't it funny how you can totally mess with your kids, without even knowing it?



(Hole In My Head, by the Dixie Chicks - It must have knocked me crazy, It must have hit me hard, People must think I'm lazy, Like my shuffle's short Of a playing card)

Friday, January 26, 2007

Coookies?

In 18 weeks there is a 5 K race that I could potentially run in.

(http://freihofersrun.com/pdf/06CourseMap.pdf)

I dunno.

Freihofer's makes great cookies but they're not what they used to be, and neither is this cookie. Also I consume faaaaaar too many cookies.

I decided to not decide today, but to think it over until April first and see if I get 100 miles logged on my treadmill by then.

Stay tuned.

Thursday, January 25, 2007

For Johnny

This one's for Johnny V


Freaky

I want one of THESE. Heh heh.

The military's new weapon is a ray gun that shoots a beam that makes people feel as if they will catch fire. The technology is supposed to be harmless -- a non-lethal way to get enemies to drop their weapons.

"Clean up your room!" (zzzzt)

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Wrong Things

Thing 1 -
Dierks Bentley cut his hair for (in) a video. Here's a little taste:




I get it, I love the song, I understandy why he did it, but I like his curls.

Thing 2 - the talking cactus in the salsa ad

Thing 3- Doctor 90210 and the beautiful girls who he aids/allows to maim themselves by implanting plastic bags of saline... grotesque... ugh.

Thing 4 - me, always being late. Bye!

Monday, January 22, 2007

This Ain't No Thinkin' Thing

OK, JV, even though your blog cavorts with nasty little ho blogs, my blog still considers yours a friend.

As such, we have a little gift for you. Even though my blog is not as "cool" as all of those other shiny, hilarious blogs with sitemeters that just count up and up and up, I hope you will enjoy it and remember us fondly. It will be on your desk when you get back to our cold, snowy office from That Warm Place I Never Get to Go (bastard).



Now, yours is the one on the right... don't go getting any ideas. After all, I know you are a huge fan of football AND the King of deepfried goodness... so what better gift than a Superbowl "commemorative" BK bobblehead????

You can thank me later.

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Nothing

All I've got for you is that there is a new Yankee Candle fragrance, Spring Bouquet. It smells something like the (discontinued) tulip scent I loved.

If you love The Office, go watch the producer's cut (here ). There are extra bits we didn't see the other night (ex: a running gag about Michael and the snow). I didn't know Andy will be gone for 10 weeks* - did my DVR just consume that last bit of the show, or was it edited out for the actual aired version?

And, well, I bought new pots today. How sad that I get excited about spending $100 on... pots... pans... zzzzz. But with my new stove (flat top) my old crappy pots and pans were not good - because they were no longer flat on the bottom, and so they just didn't heat up well. So yes, I went for the red and got it for half the price on the web, and I am going to make 8 quarts of something my new boyfriend recommends. Soon.

This is exciting stuff, huh? Hey, it's the dead of winter. It's actually WEATHER THAT FEELS LIKE WINTER here now. What do you want from me???


* At management training... ANGER management training.... LOL.

Friday, January 19, 2007

cigarettes

It's catalog time again, kiddies!! Today our catalog items are from Betty's Attic:

First, the best one - JV's Donkey




Really, what could be more perfect? If you are going to smoke, you should extract each cigarette from a donkey's ass first.

Next, because I can't play favorites, Vintage Ken aka Shop Dungarees



Me thinks there is something foul in the back of those red shorts. Just look at his face.

Just because, I'll toss in a few Star Wars PEZ items - because, who doesn't need a few, really? They're tasty.



There were plenty of Elvis items, so of course I have to keep this catalog away from my daughter.

PS: today's song is by the wreckers... for the title alone... but the entire cd is pretty damn good

I'll know when I get there

On my honeymoon, we drove to Toronto. Someone who worked in our corporate travel dept had to ld us about a new mariott, so we booked a room there.

Small problem. The hotel was in the middle of chinatown, too far away from the baseball stadium and other things to be able to walk easily to and from the hotel. Plus, my 6'3" spouse didn't FIT in a chinese hotel, in a variety of ways mental AND physical.

On the second day without hesitation I took out the phone book, turned to the hotel section, and picked out the biggest ad. I called and told them my story, and they found a room for me that was pretty nice. Not a suite or anything, but I didn't need that. We had a view of the water, and we were RIGHT down by everything.

Now, almost 20 years later, I wish things were still so easy to change. I'm faced with an ongoing problem and I don't seem to be able to pull the phonebook out, much less turn the pages.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Wide Open Spaces

This lawsuit makes me so angry. The parents blame myspace? Hello?? Pay attention to what your children do online. Pay attention to where they are going and with whom. Teach your children not to do stupid things. I'm so very sorry that these girls had horrible things happen to them - I really, really am sorry. But their parents failed at the most basic of tasks - protect your children from danger and teach them how to protect themselves. Teach them to be smart and not put their name, picture, and address all over the internet.

I could do my Holloway rant here, but I won't. Let's just leave it at this summary: my kids heard exactly what I think happened to her, and all of the mistakes I think she made (got "too" drunk, didn't stay with friends, and why does an 18 year old need to be out drinking in a foreign country anyway?)

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

When the sun goes down

So I went to this website and bought this sushi pillow



for my daughter because she loved it (Shamus' girlfriend Rachel Ray featured it this month.)

Won't it look hilarious in her beach room? My kid's that is, not Rachel's.

(There pictures of the murals my sister and I did here , here , and um... well if you want to see all at once you can just click here and scroll down a little to April 22 - 24th )


PS: Today's song by Kenny Chesney.... that little troll. Someone tell his ex wife not to wear such dark lipstick, ok?

Monday, January 15, 2007

Who's Cheatin' Who



I am NOT happy about the lack of Golden-globe-age for The Office.

Hmmph. Ugly Betty, my ass.


By the way, I can do that eyebrow thing Angela's doing in the photo above. Oh yes, I can.

(song title by Alan Jackson, G.Hits Vol 2)

Hope for me yet

Today was a bank holiday. Ahhhh.

Whenever I have time off I have a nice breakfast (home made banana bread and earl grey tea today) and then make an impossibly long to-do list. Every project that has ever passed through my mind gets put on this list. I typically do well until about mid afternoon when my carefully planned agenda begins to crumble in the face of reality.

Today I tempered myself a little bit. Recognizing that I had literally listed about 50 things to do and that this was NOT possible, I decided to get the basics done (clean kitchen, wash clothing, work out...) and then try to hit some of the projects I have in mind. Because, really, they involve spring cleaning, more or less, and the ice on my patio clearly indicates that it's NOT spring. Yet.

So I was only a little bit discouraged this afternoon when as usual, I didn't get much done beyond the routine stuff. I managed to be slightly proud of myself that the routine now includes "run 8 minutes on treadmill and walk 35" instead of "eat at least one bite of 8 various items found in refridgerator and drink 35 sips of Coke".

Then I looked into my daughter's closet and found a heap of things 3' high. Said child was watching tv. Sigh. The internal monologue of "I try and try and these kids are such slobs and they're addicted to tv just like their father* and I can't get any help around here" started to kick in but I somehow rebooted and thought "well, I'll tackle this over the weekend with her. ... not today."

I told them to TURN OFF THE MAGIC BOX AND DO SOMETHING ELSE, but I left the "something else" wide open.

Not 1o minutes ago I wandered by her room and glanced in and the heap is spread out on her floor. Left to her own devices, she actually decided to clean out her closet and try on what was in the heap, to see what's too small. I did a happy little cartwheel out in the hallway. (OK, you know that part's a lie, or I would have managed to put a serious hole in some sheetrock.) And yet.

Somewhere, somehow, my "clean space ___x___ out and get rid of the junk" mentality rubbed off. Yaaay! One less packrat in my house.


*unlike their mother, who is obviously addicted to that thing Al Gore invented... now what was it called again?

(song, there might be, hope for me yet... Dierks Bentley, who looks scary now that he cut off his curls... )

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Tunes

I started to make a CD for someone who I was discussing country music with via IM this week. It came out to 96 songs which was a problem.

Take a playlist from your iPod and give me the name, artist, & album*

This is some country stuff I'm very partial to. (Give me something NOT country, I need to branch out...) The bold are songs I am hooked on today. TODAY being the key word, of course.

Name -- Artist -- Album

I'll Go on Loving You -- Alan Jackson -- Greatest Hits, Vol. 2
Where Were You (When the World Stopped Turning) -- Alan Jackson -- Greatest Hits, Vol. 2
Remember When -- Alan Jackson -- Greatest Hits, Vol. 2
She Thinks She Needs Me -- Andy Griggs -- This I Gotta See
Careful Where You Kiss Me -- Andy Griggs -- This I Gotta See
Be Still -- Andy Griggs -- This I Gotta See
Why Do I Still Want You -- Andy Griggs -- This I Gotta SeeYou
Can't Take the Honky Tonk Out of the Girl -- Brooks & Dunn -- The Greatest Hits Collection II
Don't Forget to Remember Me -- Carrie Underwood -- Some Hearts
Some Hearts -- Carrie Underwood -- Some Hearts
Long Trip Alone -- Dierks Bentley -- Long Trip Alone
Hope for Me Yet -- Dierks Bentley -- Long Trip Alone
The Heaven I'm Headed To -- Dierks Bentley -- Long Trip Alone
Prodigal Son's Prayer -- Dierks Bentley -- Long Trip Alone
Come A Little Closer -- Dierks Bentley -- Modern Day Drifter
So So Long -- Dierks Bentley -- Modern Day Drifter
Modern Day Drifter -- Dierks Bentley -- Modern Day Drifter
I Believe in Love -- Dixie Chicks -- America: A Tribute to Heroes (2 of 2)
Cowboy Take Me Away -- Dixie Chicks -- Fly
Without You -- Dixie Chicks -- Fly
Let Him Fly -- Dixie Chicks -- Fly
If I Should Fall Behind -- Faith Hill -- Breathe
Free -- Faith Hill -- Cry
Cry -- Faith Hill -- Cry
Beautiful -- Faith Hill -- Cry
It Just Comes Natural -- George Strait -- It Just Comes Natural
Bring on the Rain -- Jo Dee Messina/Tim McGraw -- Burn
Wrap Around -- Keith Anderson -- Three Chord Country and American Rock & Roll
XXL -- Keith Anderson -- Three Chord Country and American Rock & Roll
Pickin' Wildflowers -- Keith Anderson -- Three Chord Country and American Rock & Roll
Every Time I Hear Your Name -- Keith Anderson -- Three Chord Country and American Rock & Roll
I'll Know When I Get There -- Keith Anderson -- Three Chord Country and American Rock & Roll
These Are the Days -- Keith Urban -- Be Here
Jeans On -- Keith Urban -- Golden Road
You Look Good in My Shirt -- Keith Urban -- Golden Road
Raining on Sunday -- Keith Urban -- Golden Road
Red High Heels -- Kellie Pickler -- Red High Heels - Single
Anything But Mine -- Kenny Chesney -- When the Sun Goes Down
Being Drunk's a Lot Like Loving You -- Kenny Chesney -- When the Sun Goes Down
Something's Gotta Give -- LeAnn Rimes -- This Woman
Some People -- LeAnn Rimes -- This Woman
Bring It On Home -- Little Big Town -- The Road to Here
What About Now -- Lonestar -- Lonely Grill
Jacob's Ladder -- Mark Wills -- Greatest Hits
Kerosene -- Miranda Lambert -- Kerosene
New Strings -- Miranda Lambert -- Kerosene
I Wanna Die -- Miranda Lambert -- Kerosene
Love Your Memory -- Miranda Lambert -- Kerosene
Good Ole Days -- Phil Vassar -- Shaken Not Stirred
I'll Take That as a Yes (The Hot Tub Song) -- Phil Vassar -- Shaken Not Stirred
Erase -- Phil Vassar -- Shaken Not Stirred
Amazing Grace -- Phil Vassar -- Shaken Not Stirred
Black and Whites -- Phil Vassar -- Shaken Not Stirred
Lipstick -- Rockie Lynne -- Lipstick - Single
Born to Fly -- Sara Evans -- Born to Fly
I'm Jealous -- Shania Twain -- Up!
Passenger Seat -- SHeDAISY -- Sweet Right Here
360 Of You -- SHeDAISY -- Sweet Right Here
Come Home Soon -- SHeDAISY -- Sweet Right Here
Want To -- Sugarland -- Want To - Single
Tim McGraw -- Taylor Swift -- Taylor Swift
Open Season on My Heart -- Tim McGraw -- Live Like You Were Dying
The Cowboy In Me -- Tim McGraw -- Set This Circus Down
Telluride -- Tim McGraw -- Set This Circus Down
Unbroken -- Tim McGraw -- Set This Circus Down
Set This Circus Down -- Tim McGraw -- Set This Circus Down
Angry All The Time -- Tim McGraw -- Set This Circus Down
Let Me Love You -- Tim McGraw -- Set This Circus Down
Grown Men Don't Cry -- Tim McGraw -- Set This Circus Down
When the Stars Go Blue -- Tim McGraw -- Tim McGraw: Greatest Hits, Vol. 2
She's My Kind of Rain -- Tim McGraw -- Tim McGraw: Greatest Hits, Vol. 2
Over and Over (with Nelly) -- Tim McGraw & Nelly -- Tim McGraw: Greatest Hits, Vol. 2
Crash Here Tonight -- Toby Keith -- Crash Here Tonight - Single
How Do You Like Me Now? -- Toby Keith -- Toby Keith Greatest Hits 2
You Shouldn't Kiss Me Like This -- Toby Keith -- Toby Keith Greatest Hits 2
I'm Just Talkin' About Tonight -- Toby Keith -- Toby Keith Greatest Hits 2
I Wanna Talk About Me -- Toby Keith -- Toby Keith Greatest Hits 2
Who's Your Daddy? -- Toby Keith -- Toby Keith Greatest Hits 2
Mockingbird -- Toby Keith -- Toby Keith Greatest Hits 2
Should've Been A Cowboy (Live) -- Toby Keith -- Toby Keith Greatest Hits 2
I'd Sure Hate to Breakdown Here -- Trace Adkins -- Comin' on Strong
Missing You -- Trace Adkins -- Comin' on Strong
One of Those Nights -- Trace Adkins -- Comin' on Strong
Rough & Ready -- Trace Adkins -- Comin' on Strong
(This Ain't) No Thinkin' Thing -- Trace Adkins -- Greatest Hits Collection, Vol. 1
Chrome -- Trace Adkins -- Greatest Hits Collection, Vol. 1
Every Light in the House -- Trace Adkins -- Greatest Hits Collection, Vol. 1
Leave The Pieces -- The Wreckers -- Stand Still, Look Pretty
My, Oh My -- The Wreckers -- Stand Still, Look Pretty
Stand Still, Look Pretty -- The Wreckers -- Stand Still, Look Pretty
Lay Me Down -- The Wreckers -- Stand Still, Look Pretty
One More Girl -- The Wreckers -- Stand Still, Look Pretty

*(you can actually export the data from a playlist to a notepad document.... so no, I didn't type all of this in)

Before he cheats

Well this won't be as good as the stories the Food Whore tells about her catering escapades, but here is something that happened to me yesterday.

We were celebrating my nephew's 12th birthday on Saturday and I had offered to make the cake.

He asked for chocolate with white icing. Done. (I got a little lazy and just used those crappy sugar decorations from the supermarket... canned frosting too.. picture to follow, but it's not anything like my best cakes, which I will also write about sometime soon.)

Since I don't like chocolate anything, I decided I would also made a carrot cake in a small rectangular pan, and a bunch of mini cupcakes.

I should have seen trouble coming when the cupcakes stuck like crazy to the nonstick pan. Grrr. I threw what was left of the cupcakes in a container and left them home. I took the small cake with me... so basically a half of a box mix. )

Cut to the party - HBTY was sung. Birthday boy had two candles, shaped like a "1" and a "2". He leaned forward, blew in the general direction, and missed both. Take two - lean forward, blew out one candle, and then - unmistakably - SPIT at the other one to put it out.

The sudden chorus of "I'd like carrot cake" was deafening.





(today's song... Carrie Underwood... I'm not crazy about the message, psychotic rage and vandalism and all that... but whatever)

Thursday, January 11, 2007

If I should fall behind

Tonight when I got to choir I found that I was the only Alto!!

Every piece was gospel -- yes we are a whitey-white catholic choir, but Stanley likes that stuff and I have to admit, I really do too-- and the alto parts tend to be pretty high in the pieces he chooses.

Good times. Except, I can't count at all when I'm learning a new piece. Words AND pitch AND beats? No. So, not keeping good time.

I was a few notes behind every here and there, but it's early in the season (we started Easter music tonight).

At one point the guys were working on a passage and so I drew myself a friend to keep me company in the last row of folding chairs. It's a very bad crayon portrait that no seven year old would claim. Maybe I'll bring it to work and pretend my kid did it, just to see if people will actually mock it to my face

;-)



(Should we lose each other ... In the shadow of the evening dreams ... Oh, I'll wait for you ... If I should fall behind, wait for me -- written by B. Springsteen but covered by Faith Hill)

Passenger Seat

Lately I've noticed something disconcerting when I'm driving around, listening to my Sirius radio.

I'll be listening to Elvis or something (don't laugh, there is actually an Elvis channel, that I *COULD* be listening to if I wanted to, and my daughter does think he's her daddy and all... ) and suddenly I hear the unmistakable voice of Howard Stern.

If you don't have Sirius... when you have a portable radio it can take in the sattelite signal you've tuned in, and transmit back OUT on an FM frequency, so that you can listen to your receiver over your car stereo's speakers. Problem, everyone uses the same few "empty" FM frequencies on the dial. And someone driving by me with a stronger radio can stomp all over MY radio's signal.

Now, I get it that Howard could buy and sell me 83 million times over, but I still don't want to listen to him in my car. Shut up, Howard!!

It is kind of fun to look around and try to guess who is listening to Howard. The disconcerting part? Wondering who "notices" me listening to Tiffany Granath's talk show on the way home from work. Do I stomp too?


(I'm all shook up like a quarter in a can...Ain't life sweet, in the passenger seat....today's song brought to you by SheDaisy)

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

Ready to Run

(I'm working on walking 100 miles by April Fool's day...a little running but mostly walking)

Today I am happy to say that after some e-motivation (thanks!) I got on the treadmill and covered a distance of 2.5 miles in 55 minutes... I actually broke into a jog for 6 minutes in the middle there, while no one was looking*. Yeah, I know. Six minutes. Sports Illustrated wants me on their next cover. :::::falls down laughing::::

(*Actually, to say that no one was looking would not be exactly right. My son opened the door while I was singing along with Pink and got QUITE a good laugh. He responded with his best Blue Man Group moves. At least I'm entertaining MY troops.)

Oh, and today's song/post title.... Dixie Chicks. Ready ready ready to run....all I wanna do is have some fun... what's all this talk about love?

You'll always be my baby

I overheard my son praying today. What may you ask, did the wee cherub pray for, after I've had him in Catholic schools for nigh on 5 years now? (between him and his sister, I figure a rough cost equivalent of a pretty darn nice Jeep, maybe even a Compass)

Did he ask for world peace? an end to hunger and suffering?


"In the name of the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirt.
May we please have snow? I really want to try my new snowboard.
In the name of the Father, Son, Holy Spirit, Amen."


At least he was polite.

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Pink... or Blue

One of my offspring noticed "U + Ur Hand" in my iTunes list of recently purchased songs, because it's got the little "explicit" marker in red near the title.

Said offspring asked what the title meant. I Answer Questions.

No really, I always do*... it's fun to answer shit like that because the kid is horrified, then laughs hysterically at the thought that Some Boys Do That.


*no, no, no, I am not repeating the explanation here. I don't need THOSE google hits. And I left the "actually, some girls..." for another day. Gotta make the good times last, so to speak.

Suspcious Minds

So last month my daughter decided that because I'm so crazy, she's adopted. Smartass kid.

I told her the next day that she was being raised by wolves before I took her in. She's funny, she can take a joke like that. Sure enough, she said "No, elves."

At least I thought that's what she said, since it was right around Christmas time and my 9 year old still believes in Santa(Yeah, i know...).

She actually said "No, Elvis."

That's right. Apparently at some point I got it on with the King - he's still alive and all. (Damn I wish I remembered that.... well, considering he'd be 72 or something now, maybe the reason I repressed it was that I was with a 60 year old man and I was ....30. Hmmm. )

Anyway, to make sure she understood the full ramifications of her claim, I dowloaded a few songs from iTunes for her. You know, like " A little less conversation" and "Heartbreak Hotel". Both songs, I might add, make a b-o-r-i-n-g mile on the treadmill go by a bit quicker.

Monday, January 08, 2007

Step by Step

(hahah. Ollllld country song. Eddie Rabbit? Definitely not on my iPod. )

Five miles down this weekend. Walked. Whatever. Only (sigh) 95 to go, before April Fool's day.

Work today was... well... too much WORK! Ugh.

My new stove is fabulous. Even if Suzy is making fun of me -- I left the oven light on because it's got a "hearthstone window" and I thought it was pretty... I bought it because I could carry it.

(Only Sue and Becki will get that last sentence. It goes back years ago, to my mother buying a hammock that would certainly make Johnny V snicker... kind of small, a lightweight frame, definitely not meant to be hung between two tall oak trees... anyway we sort of said, uh, Mom, what were you thinking? Her defense was "I bought it because I could carry it." )

Indeed.

Tonight's Trash TV selection: I Love New York. Because any train wreck involving Flavor Flav's rejected goods is going to be SO bad, it just HAS to be good. Do YOU have love for NY? 9pm on VH1, bitches. You just know the guy with the clock will show up and snicker.

Saturday, January 06, 2007

Bring it on Home

Amazon thinks I'm fat.

No, really. I got this in my mailbox this morning.

Dear Amazon.com Customer,
We've noticed that customers who have expressed interest in
The Volumetrics Eating Plan: Techniques and Recipes for Feeling Full on Fewer Calories by Barbara Rolls have also ordered The Supermarket Diet by Janis Jibrin. For this reason, you might like to know that Janis Jibrin's The Supermarket Diet is now available.

Eff you, Amazon. The SUPERMARKET DIET? Please.

Friday, January 05, 2007

5 4 3 2 Run

(~Dixie Chicks)

It seems Beth has a friend who is doing this challenge, of sorts... to run 100 miles by April Fool's day. I haven't been quite as good lately with my treadmill as I promised I would be. But so help me, I am going to do this. Well... I will at least WALK 100 miles on the gosh darned thing* by AFD. Some of the miles I might actually break into a shuffle. Or, well, you know, a mild jog. If I'm feeling lucky, and it's not too cold in my garage.


*Alton Brown is awesome. ("Americans adore fried foods and yet we're willing to entrust the process to tenth graders wearing polyester smocks and funny hats... strange.")

My new stove is here! My new stove is here! Gotta go.

Thursday, January 04, 2007

when the sun goes down

... we'll be groovin'

haha

The Office was kinda funny tonight. Best part - I said "what's that thing on Michael's head?" and my daughter, who is Already Smarter Than Me, pointed out that it was beads... you know... when women go on vacation and they get braids, with beads on the end.... only his hair is so short, I couldn't see it at first...

tired, tired, tired of the Jim/Pam thing. More Andy!! More Andy!!!

good ole days

Today at 1:30 pm Suzy called me at work, laughing but sounding half asleep.

Since she should have been 100% asleep, something was not right.

"Two more nights... I only have to work two more nights before I switch to days...."

(Me: yeah?)

"...and they're using a LEAF BLOWER right outside my apartment, and it woke me up and now I can't sleep."

Apparently since snowblowers are not an option (wtf is going on with our weather? 50 degrees here in January??) the maintenance crew had to improvise.


(Phil Vassar for the title today, but some of you knew that...pop a top, baby...)

Wednesday, January 03, 2007

Somedays you gotta dance

In the interest of breaking my crappy mood, I took the afternoon off.

I bought myself a new Alton Brown cookbook. (I am alternately amused and frightenened by my attraction to him -- I enjoy the combination of smart + funny + good cook, but I have trouble with the way the other guy yells on Iron chef -- the chairman??)

I am now back in my most comfortable VS flannel pajamas, about to have a late lunch of lobster bisque (withe extra lobster meat I bought, to add to the soup) and crescent rolls, and probably a Coke.

Oh, and did I mention - the most important thing? I am blissfully alone in my house.

No one will bother me until (:::checks watch::::) about 3:15. Then I will resume my appointed duties. Until then I'll be having a somewhat one-sided discourse with Alton.

Eff you, '07.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Do you want fries with that?

So far 2007 is not zinging for me. I would have to alphabetize the people who annoyed me at work today. Get in line, take a number.

Also I watched Pirates of the Carribean 2 last night and apparently I'm the only person in the world who DIDN"T know that 2 ends abruptly in mid-plot because they filmed 3 at the same time. Eff you Johnny (Depp).

Today I went to a place that WAS rapidly becoming a favorite spot for lunch. I tried ordering 3 different things and "we are out of that" was the answer every time. I finally literally turned to the person next to me and said "what are you having?"

Monday, January 01, 2007

New Strings

I've got this old guitar and a brand new set of strings - M. Lambert

Well, happy effing new year. I'm cranky. No, not hung over, as I only had 1.5 glasses of wine. My
head is all stuffed up, my back and neck are killing me... bleah.

Bowling? First game - 99. Yeah. Mildly fun. Second game mercifully incomplete (and right after I figured out how to change my frames to strikes in the computer too.... darn it) I credit my "good" score to the lane bumpers we had "for the kids" (no kids were actually on our lane, but if I act childish on a daily basis, does that count?) Sorry Marco - I guess I need those lessons.

I tried to restring a guitar I got for $10 when I was 15. Baaaad idea. Sproinnnnnng is not a sound you want to hear TWICE during such a process. As I clearly have no idea WHAT I'm doing ( won't even say "what I'm doing wrong", just "what I'm doing" on that one) I will need to walk into a music shop and confess my brilliance on this one. Yay!

Off to do... um, four or five loads of laundry and some scrapbooking? Hey it can only get better from here, right?