Lost tonight

I gotta tell ya. I'm a little worried because I have plenty of nosebleeds, (usually early morning, in the shower.) Yikes. I don't remember being on any creepy islands. But, hmmmm.

What a mind-fug. I loved it.

Ticket to Heaven

I try not to blog about the arguments I have with my nearest and/or dearest. I try not to blog things that could lead that guy in Uzquickistonia who keeps hitting my webpage to my to my door. I try not to blog about people who have no idea that I have a blog. I try not to blog things that would scandalize me if someone figured out this is MY blog.

I tried not to blog this because it's not my kid or my story. It's killing me.


So, I know a guy with a kid. Let's call the kid Ralphie. He is a good kid who just doesn't move all that fast sometimes. His dad is always trying to light a fire under him during basketball games. This is the kid who, after his team scores a basket, doesn't run past the center of the court because the other team will probably make a basket now and then everybody will come back up this way anyway. You can just see him thinking it. He's a 10 year old boy. Dad loves him, but when Dad is at his wit's end with Ralphie, he calls him "My little ticket to heaven".

The other day Dad was working on the computer at home, taking apart a mouse, and the trackball etc was scattered around, with a screwdriver or two, on top of the desk. Dad was under the desk reconnecting some computer cables and Ralphie came along and said "Dad, what's this?" and commented that it looked like Dad was building a bomb. Dad just sort of laughed at the ten year old's logic (or lack of) and said "Ralphie, if you think you can, go ahead and try".

Little Ralphie went to school yesterday and remarked during art class "My dad and I are going to build a bomb."

Art Teacher freaked (it's her first year) and brought him to the principal. The principal called Dad, who said "EXCUSE ME?" and kind of lost it a little. Just a little.

It's all OK now. But Dad has since produced (dddddddddddd drumroll)

the Top 10 Reasons Why Ralphie can't be a Terrorist

10. Doesn't know how to find Bin Laden in the phone book
9. Refuses to empty lunch box to conceal it
8. Would need to study more than 15 minutes to complete assembly
7. Already knows I won't carry his bags into school for him
6. Dad was too busy to help build it
5. Myth Busters (Ralphie's favorite TV show) hasn't aired that episode yet
4. Turban doesn't fit right with all his cowlicks
3. Concerned he would have to write 100 times 'I will not make a bomb' in cursive
2. No Golden Arches in the hills of Afganistan

And #1,

Knows he'd need to run after detonating it

Last hurdle before spring

In the dregs of winter every year, we have to work towards surviving until one specific date. No, not the first day of baseball seaon. The learning fair. I hate the learning fair. It's Mom's (or a kind Aunt's) and Dad's (actually my sister helped with that one too) arts and crafts projects on display. Year after year. After year, after year, but my blog doesn't go that far back.

Every teacher in the school seems to think this is THE prime opportunity to assign projects. Because Mom and Dad have nothing else to do in the evening.

We have already completed essays and posters this year, and a model of a community that required legos, and I had to help my child make a 2 liter soda bottle look like a person. Not just any person, HANK AARON. Who, let's be honest, the first thing that comes to mind when you see a picture of him is "Pepsi bottle."

In my own defense this is not up to my usual artsy-craftsy girls standards because the entire afternoon we were doing it I wanted to kill him. Reason being, I had just found out that he was at a school event and someone asked him if he was going to another upcoming function and he said "No, my mom thinks it's stupid." The person chairing said other function overheard him. And apparently flipped out. Um. Did I evermention I'm "kind of" one of the PTA officers?

(Since I've already digressed on this topic, let me explain that what I think is stupid is the ongoing bickering involving certain people running that function, and that I also NOW think it's stupid to get upset because of something you overhear a ten year old child say. Ahem. )

All in all, the afternoon didn't go well.

So today Ms. Dramatical (hey! Flave is on tonight!) stomped out of school angry because I have, I mean she has, yet another learning fair project to complete before mid-March. A five page paper on a famous artist. I mean, FIVE WHOLE PAGES CAN YOU STAND IT HOW COULD SHE DO THIS TO US. Yeah. It turns out that what actually upsets her the most is the other bullet point about also doing a demo art lesson for the class on this artist's style. Um, hello? Middle school kids are going to mimic the work of one of about 15 great masters? (Yes, it is a fixed list to choose from).

Sweet groundhog ghoulash. Isn't it spring yet?

One last shot

Heigl is really red. And she's tackier than Seacrest. No small feat.

Renee z looks MISERABLE. Wow.

Flockhart's dress is cute but I hate the hair.

Plenty of strapless dresses tonight are just so tight they crush the racks they're supposed to be highlighting. Just saying.

Gnight again!
Carly(via Blackberry)

More

Omg Ryan Seacrest just asked Alba if she will breastfeed.

:::: thud::::

Cameron Diaz, I don't like your look. She doesn't remember whose jewelry she's wearing? Waaaow. Dummy
Carly(via Blackberry)

It's Oscaaaaaaaaaaaar night!

Seriously, WTF with John Travolta and the Rock? They both look like they spray painted their hair on using some sort of Just For Men Roman stencil.

I'm sooooooo glad the strike is over!

Random stream of consciousness: Hey, lots of red tonight. Everyone is wearing strapless gowns. Oh no, it's raining! What does everyone see in Patrick Dempsey?? Seriously. He's a schmuck. Ryan Seacrest is dumb and he has no class. OK, I think I'm done flaming people.

Quiz them on the sermon

One of the guys in my choir let two of his grandsons come upstairs this morning. (My son has been up many times. For some reason kids love being up there. Wait, it's because they don't have to sit still during mass. That's it! He used to color for the first half of mass and then I would make him kneel/ etc as apropriate)

So these boys are in pehaps Kindergarten & 3rd grade. The little guy might be only 4 or so. They entertained themselves during mass and made noises in variety of ways including:

• bouncing small (tennis sized) rubber balls that looked like the globe.
• rattling a keyring
• taking the flashlight on the keyring and turning it on (click) and off (click) over (click) and over (click)
• "jumping" off the ledge (the windowsill of the big stained glass window at the back of our loft, about 3" from the floor so not much of a jump, but still a rewarding THUNK landing)
• opening their velcro sneakers and adjusting the fit

Maybe if I knew how to fold a single sheet of paper into a baby hedgehog I could have amused them.... but then I didn't have THREE HOURS.

I wanted to hog tie them with that velcro on their sneakers. That being said, I do realize kids are kids. These kids have not been TAUGHT to sit still during mass. It makes me a tiny bit crazy and I blame the parents, not the child, because a child that young just doesn't really know any better. I used to make my children be QUIET above all else. I could tolerate standing up/sitting on the kneeler, to color a piece of paper resting on the pew, but not a lot of climbing motion. I used to bring a sippy cup and some cheerios to buy the quiet. It's not very hard to throw a couple of things into a tote bag (soft book, like a coloring book, and a doll or stuffed animal). People just assume that a child "can't" behave during mass. They can and you, the parent, have to teach him or her how.

You wouldn't know from this rant, but I really did like the kids. They're cute little irish guys. I love kids. Would have been nice if they sang alto though, since I was the only one there today!

Yes, probably

My daughter, upon hearing that J-lo had a boy and a girl the other day: "That's good. She'll be able to tell them apart.".
Carly(via Blackberry)

Lost - let it rain

LOST music video with song 'Let it Rain' by Jason Michael Carroll.
(Jack, Kate, Sawyer... )

Lyrics:

"A storm on the horizon weather's coming in
Smell of the rain takes me back again
To a morning just like this clouds filled the sky
And everytime I I think about that day I said goodbye

[Chorus]
My heart beats like thunder as I call out your name
And all my tears start falling down like the rain
So let it rain let it rain

I remember back in college you loved these kind of days
When we'd run off to your apartment and hide away
We'd talk about forever and how we'd share our lives
It never crossed my mind I'd be without you here tonight

[Chorus]

I'm not afraid of dying it's something we all do
But I'm scared to death of living the rest of my life without you

Peeps

So I sent Suzy this, which is from BentObjects and shows how they make those tiny candy hearts one might buy for Valentine's day. They hack them out of Peeps. Excellent.

She responded with this which is the documentation on a surgical procedure separating conjoined peeps. (Lines like "Throughout the surgery, subjects were infused with a 97% glucose drip to maintain physiological homeostasis. " Suzy points out that some medical professional had WAY too much time on their hands. Phase 5 is awesome. )

The other link I have to offer is one of my favorite works of art on The Post- it Project. Enjoy. Create your own. But don't let Michael Scott catch you stealing post-it notes, because as you might recall, he tried to use that as an excuse for firing Pam in the first episode.

Finding me on the great big internet

My favorite search hit this week was "more naked Sawyer" and to that I say "-Amen."

Johnny V is still sending many unsuspecting victims my way. He also gave me some excellent music this week - Jack's Mannequin and other goodies.

Speaking of music, I got at least 25 hits from a search string that included the phrase "Carrie Underwood & scoring " and I thought... you pervs... until I realized it was some sort of blog search engine. Carry on. Enjoy the photos.

Someone searched for Carly Mural "Yankee Stadium". I know who you are...because I saw where that search came from... and no I haven't done ANYTHING on it lately. Maybe tomorrow.

So, hi to Italy, the Netherlands, Australia, Germany, Ontario, the Phillipines, Singapore, and Newcastle upon Tyne (I know who YOU are.... smooches).

It's snowing and I'm having a glass of Chardonnay with my seafood pasta. Now if only I had someone to talk to.

Catalog shopping on a snowy day

It's been a while since I posted my favorite catalog items. Far too long.

The Hillary Clinton nutcracker. Oh, it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood. The metaphors. The imagery. The complete lack of respect:

Does she always stand that way? I never noticed. Does she ride a hog?

Now, this was the runner up... sweet buttermilk biscuits. How awesome would it be to live in a gated community and slap this on your lawn?

Then we have this little number. Now, as a Mom I see the flaw in the basic premise of this gag. If my kid is running to the john and flips up the lid and sees THIS I'm going to have to do the laundry because he's definitely going to crap right away in his pants.



Now for some runner-ups:

• The Drum Alarm Clock would last maybe a week in the average person's household. I mean, it sounds like a bad joke. A drum solo next to your head to wake you up?


• Dusting slippers. Rag-mop scuffs. Um, no.


• The Fartmaster key chain. I actually bought this once for the brother in law who later gave me Humphrey. Yes, I learned my lesson.

Well that's all the shopping we have time for but you just browse around, I'm sure you'll find something to buy, like the "More Cowbell" t-shirt. Later!!

Maybe he should turn pro

If you'd like to see a GREAT picture of the eclipse, go look at Bill Wadman's. Be sure to poke around all of his various links.

See, now it is not THAT cold

...it's 19 degrees (yes Farenheit, Marco) and I dragged my son outside to see the lunar eclipse. He went somewhat willingly, I am happy to report. Certain others in the house ignored us until I began ringing the doorbell (evil smile).

He broke the mood a little, comparing it to toenail clippings.

Kids.

Luna

Had the errands to run today while the daylight sky changed to zephyr-indigo-blue and then went black. Meanwhile the man in the moon climbed steadily up an invisible rope. You could almost see it lifting up through the sky.

Yes I'm crazy, and exhausted. Eclipsed, you might say. So if the military misses that busted sattelite and it lands right on my forehead in a day or two, at least I'll be grateful for the rest.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Wouldn't wanna do her laundry

Ms. Carrie Underwood. She's beautiful. Extremely talented singer.

She did all of her hits, and then some. We had great seats as you can see. My one complaint - toooo many costume changes tonight.

I *know* that she probably never messes up when she sings in church ;-)

But Suzy agreed, too many changes (there were at least 3 other outfits not shown here.)

At the end, confetti shoots out of big machines near the stage. The security guard had told a dad near us with a very small child that the "gun" would make a really loud noise. It didn't. Suzy and I sat with our fingers in our ears for the last half of the song (Before He Cheats, of course) because we were literally five feet from it, and then we felt stupid when the big noise wasn't much of a noise at all....

Tired... going to sleep.

D-i-v-a

Carrie Underwood hasn't taken the stage yet. Josh's crew cleared his stuff in short order. Now they are vacuuming the stage for Her Blondness.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Great seats

Amazing seats 20 ft from stage. JT was excellent.
Carly(via Blackberry)

Would you go with me

Going to see Carrie Underwood with Josh Turner tonight. My favorite part will be seeing HIM. (If only he were to tell ME "I wanna be your man"... Alas his wife is his backup singer... )

Last minute hit on arena web page got me GREAT tix, just released. Gotta go get on the road. Daughter is wild w/ the happy. Later y'all!
Carly(via Blackberry)

It's fun to stay...

I have blueprints for my addition but no number yet. So I still don't know if I can do it. Torture.

I did get a chance to replace my sirius radio this past weekend. Yaaaaaaay. If you saw someone doing the YMCA in her car this morning it was me. (Oh yes, I did. You know you wish you saw me. Totally 70's. )
Carly(via Blackberry)

On the road again

It was a great day today here - about 50 degrees. I went for a run. It's kind of wet out, plenty of snow is melting, so it was messy. But I didn't fall down, and since I am rather like Grace, that's usually something of an accomplishment for me (wink). I did see a rocky little stream in the park that was flowing at a steady pace. Nice to watch the water flow over the rocks. OK, I stopped because I was out of breath. But still.

I am hoping to do the Freihofer run again, which is in 103 days. Time to get semi-serious. ;-)

I ran and walked (alternating). When I was done my face was a lovely rash of beeeeet red. Niiiice.

Sunday art with a side of piano

I went to a "duo piano" performance today at a local college. Barbara & Michael Musial are not just each fantastic concert pianists in their own right -- they play together. As in, two grand pianos, nose to nose. It was amazing to listen to how well synchronized they are when they play.

I got a great seat near the front so I could really see him play, and found myself rather jealous of them at one point. Performing so well, working so hard(very intense pieces of music) and absolutely beaming. Bach, Gershwin, D'un Matin de Printemps (Of a Spring Morning) - a wonderful way to spend a dreary winter afternoon.

***

I had success of my own today, on a MUCH smaller scale (no pun intended). The last few times that I have been cantor (singing the responsorial psalm, etc) I have felt a certain degree of crappy about how my singing has gone. When it comes to the higher notes, my voice gets thin or near breaking and I back off from the note and it sounds like crap. (Mind you, everyone else is always kind, and says "No, it was fine", but in my mind it just wasn't GOOD.)

The other night at rehearsal I was singing a different piece (Ave Verum, an arrangement by Colin Mawby). It's a beautiful, complex, SATB, 8 part piece. Since there are only two altos right now, myself and one other woman, we each since a different line. It's got notes that I consider insanely high for an alto part (the soprano lines are even higher) but I have learned to get to them over the past 3 years with a fair amount of volume. I am much more comfortable with the high notes when I'm singing with other voices (even if they're not singing my line). The choir director was having us run through the song one section at a time (the four sections, SATB) and the other alto and I were up. All of a sudden Bette's head whipped around and she glared at me. "That was beautiful!" sounds funny when someone's a little mad at you. "You can hit those notes there" (points at my seat in the back row) "then you can hit them THERE" (points at cantor microphone.)

Busted. I knew she was right. It's mental. I get up there, get nervous, and my vocal cords tie in knots. I psych myself out since I'm an alto. I got handed today's cantor sheets, and really worked on it at home. Today wasn't perfect, but it was definitely twice as good as usual. I really felt like I could sing out and sound good. I was much better at managing the nerves.

Throw the roses gently, boys.

Not far enough

Unfortunately my son's apple hasn't fallen very far from the tree

We left the house for his basketball game. We went by a park where I run sometimes. I saw a crowd, a fire truck, and a rather large-ish fire. "What's burning?" I wondered aloud. "The bonfire" said Mr. C.

We drove for about twenty minutes (on two separate highways) and my son said "Dad? We're not having a home game today, are we?"

Poor kid.

iTune meme

So I'm feeling a little viral today. This meme comes from Poly, and she shames me in every way. Seventy one days worth of music, she has.

Instructions: Open up your iTunes and fill out this survey, no matter how embarrassing the responses might be.


How many songs total: 7,063
How many hours or days of music: 20.2 days. I'm already feeling unworthy.

Most recently played: weird, it's blank - because I just updated software no doubt.
Most played: Kerosene, Miranda Lambert (I'm thinking that I like this song, but my daughter is the one who's played it 100+ times, since we share a library)

Most recently added: Christina Aguilera / Back to Basics

Sort by song title: First Song: "A-hole" - Bowling for soup
Last Song: + by Coldplay
*these songs are no doubt from Johnny V and/or Shamus who have tried over the years to improve my musical tastes. I don't know what either of these songs sound like.


Sort by time:
Shortest Song: "7th inning stretch" - Gin Blossoms - I HAVE heard that one
Longest Song: "Ocean Waves" - Peter Roberts - actually IS nothing but the sounds of waves, I listen to it often at work. Longest real song, Blood Money / April Wine, probably via Johnny V again.

Sort by album:First album: "A-1-A" - Jimmy Buffet (there was just that ONE day, when it seemed like a good idea)
Last album: "5150" Van Halen (MINE! MUSIC I KNOW! )

First song that comes up on Shuffle: "The world has turned and left" - Weezer

Search the following and state how many songs come up:
Death -4
Life - 133
Love - 611
Hate - 13
You - 1100
(Me - 1826, so there)
Sex - 8 - sigh

SO I love you, but myself twice as much. Hah.

Got a lotto ticket too

One of those beautiful shining moments you only READ about happened to me today.

I needed a dress for an upcoming semiformal (black tie optional) event. This filled me with dread since I don't want a miniskirt/spaghetti strap number with plenty of my pasty white skin showing. And that is what most semiformal attire is these days. Shudder. I was thinking I 'd be stuck with Mother of the Bride with a side of Extra Frumpy.

I met Suzy at the mall. She explained an outfit she thought I'd look nice in. At the FIRST store we went to, the FIRST thing I tried on was it. Perfect. Exactly what I wanted, in my size (ok I'm not happy about WHICH size that is currently, but the outfit fits and flatters me and the colors are good and...).

I walked around for a while afterwards saying "I can't believe it was that easy" over and over. Usually, when I go to the mall and need something specific I can't find it. If I go with money I don't find things I like. If I find things I like I don't have money or they're not in my size. SO much mall, so little success, normally. I have been dreading this excursion for a couple of weeks now.

Suzy is available for personal shopper services at a mall near you. Oh, and on the way out of the dressing room I noticed a dress on the rack, that someone had tried on and not bought. It's PERFECT for her. The price tag said $10. It's the perfect "go to Vegas and get in plenty of trouble" dress. Unbelievable. I'm SO going to hit the lottery tonight.

And I actually could read it

I just walked into my daughter's room. She tends to keep her door closed. By the time I opened it and walked in she had done something and had that guilty "I got caught but I'll try to look innocent" expression on her face.

She was sitting on her floor barefoot, and she had a marker in her hand. Her small whiteboard was on the floor in front of her. Her name was written on it, but it was so messy...

The gears in my head went kachunk, kachunk.

"Are you writing with your feet? "

"um... yeah. I was bored."

It makes about as much sense as most of the rest of my day.

Homework sucks (the life out of parents)

I now know sooo much more about Hank Aaron. That's right, sports fans, it's LEARNING FAIR TIME. I mean, he's a fantastic legend and I respect all of that, but I did not want to take a 2 liter soda bottle and try to make it look like him. I mean, help my 10 year old do that. This is the stuff nightmares are made of.

I can also tell you what you can see if you should happen to visit Egypt, which is half the size of Alaska and has four times as many people as NY... only 2% of it is arable, and I can tell you what that means and show you some really cool vultures who hang out there somewhere along the Nile river. Vultures waiting for me to die of sheer exhaustion, so that they can pick my bones over with a nice side salad of desert grasses.

SO many projects. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!



PS: check out Bent Objects: This and this are my two favorites. Get your name on the list for Terry's book.

I have love for my man Flave

because of lines like this:

"I felt like a wedgie."

man, I needed that show today!

What would they write on the traffic ticket?

Went to get groceries last night about 7 pm. Brr. (Many bags filling my trunk, but what did I buy??????)

Went out to leave for work this morning. It was 9 degrees out. As my friend said, THERE SHOULD BE A NUMBER IN FRONT OF THE NINE. Preferably the number would be greater than I can count to using one hand. Wind chill currently "minus something".

I hit the door unlock button on my car remote. Nothing happens. No clicky-click. Front passenger door won't open.

Go to back door. Get lucky there. Open door, put in briefcase and purse.

Go to driver's side door. Tug. Hit unlock. Yank in utter futility. Curse.

Return to passenger side rear door, the only one that will open. Climb in. Climb OVER to front seat and wonder if at least one neighbor will see me, in my clunky boots and long coat.

Pull out of driveway after wrestling coat under control and buckling seatbelt. NYState, it's the law. I always do it - I'm a big believer (even when you're in the back seat) But I hate the feeling of strangling in a winter coat and being buckled in.

Drive down street, three houses, hit pothole. DING. "Trunk ajar" lights up.

Realize lock to TRUNK froze too and didn't latch when groceries were removed last night.
Ponder choices. Pull over to side of road. Unlock again, and push driver door open.

Slam trunk. Test. It's closed.

Get back in driver's side. Pull door shut. Watch, astonished as it BOUNCES BACK OPEN. DING! "Driver's door ajar". Slam. Bounce. Ding! "Driver's door ajar".

Ponder driving back home (holding door shut) and returning to my electric blanket.

Ohh. An idea. Pull door shut as snugly as I can. Press "lock". Ding! "Driver's door ajar". No, it's effing flapping in the breeze.

Sit. Fume. Wonder if my anger will thaw door lock. Ponder driving down highway holding door closed. Try to remember high school physics to figure out if my arm will get ripped off if I take a curve at a high rate of speed. Abandon idea of holding anything since I am a spaz and need to drive with BOTH hands on wheel.

Pull door shut snugly again. Hit lock. Partial success. Rattles but won't open if shoved.

Stew some more.

Decide to risk it (since door doesn't actually swing open any longer, just rattles) and start driving again.

Stop at red light and open door, slam shut, hit lock, say prayer of thanks when it closes right.

Wonder how I made it to the age of 42. Wish for a garage I can park in.

Grammy 2

I want Kanye's sunglasses, for the next time I stay in a hotel. The bathroom light is always too bright.

Gotta go. School project requires making 2 liter soda bottle look like a famous person for upcoming learning fair. Pls kill me.

Carly(via Blackberry)

Carly blogs Grammy

Just hit J in Google reader to go to the next post. Just saying.

Not that Carrie Underwood song again! Aghhhhh

She does look good in a 'I'm pretending to be a dominatrix' way though.

Who let prince out again???

Love, love Alicia Keys. Not sure about the side view on the dress but it's a great songm
.
My 13 year old Did Not Know Jungle Love. I have failed as a parent.

Rihanna has feathers on everything tonight. Her red carpet dress and her performance one too. . . My kid hates her hair. I'm alarmed by her forehead.

Wtf is with Tom Hank's eyes? A giant bag under one. Big enuff for Yoko's hat.

The highlight of the Beatles song for me ALMOST was slugging my kid and saying "Punchbuggy! No punchback!"
Loved the gospel though!

Ooh Faith and Tim in the audience. Ledisi! I posted her lyrics one day for "It's alright"

I'm not voting. Zzzzzzz.

Carly(via Blackberry)

Keep your Eagle's Wings

No Sunday art today. Well, art in musical form this week.

Ahem.

I am NOT a fan of the hymn "On Eagle's Wings". It's pretty much a standard at our church; we sing it every couple of months. I stand there in the back row and pretend to sing while secretly rolling my eyes and not really singing it much.

I would much rather sing Veni Jesu, Amor Mi. (Come to me, oh Jesus my love.) This music is close, but I have an OLD copy... which is part of why I like it so much. Click here to hear it. (Scroll down, look for Soundbyte... I'm not quite hearing my alto part though, so it's a slightly different arrangement.)

The photo I've put in this post is the other song I did this morning(Jesu, Salvator Mundi); something about singing in latin is so much more elegant and reverent to me. I can't wrap my feelings around some of the cheesy english lyrics I have to sing now & then. Thanks, no thanks.

Although, I must add, I enjoy the older gospel stuff that Stanley has us sing fairly often. (ex: Precious Lord, Take My Hand which I really REALLY LOVE) I think it's the "contemporary" pieces I just find squidgy. Sorry... not trying to offend anyone.

Incidentally, I love http://www.sheetmusicplus.com/ I've gotten a fair amount of music from them. We get handed photocopies of some of the older arrangements we use, like the one above, but I try to buy sheet music if I can get it, to keep for my own small but growing collection. I've really got to get back to teaching myself the piano, AFTER PTA.

Eagle's wings? Great with buffalo sauce.

Stuff

• I love Trace Adkins. The Donald may be a cartoon but Trace is an MVP every week on that tired out show. He's creative and stays out of the big theatrics. I hope he wins.
• Yesterday I was in the ladies room at work and someone was brushing her teeth. (Gross to start off with. Our restrooms? Chew gum instead, at your desk, nowhere NEAR those restrooms. ) So anyway she frowned and looks at the toothpaste tube. "Does this stuff expire?" Um. Yeah. I showed her where the date was on the crimp. June 2002. Oooookay.
• Boys basketball. Still drama. Major feud going between some of the parents on the team. Is it over yet? I texted Suzy, "I have bleacher ass, which isn't nearly as fun as bleached ass"
• No big theme here today, sorry.
• Going deep for a minute: After the final service for Heath Ledger, mourners gathered at a beachside restaurant and many, including Williams, went fully clothed into the ocean as they watched the sunset. That is awesome.... someone please do that someday in memory of me. Not that I plan to die any time soon. Really really.
• It's snowing again. Eff winter. I'm done! Stupid groundhog.

Iceland part 2

This afternoon, the sun came out and hit all of the remaining icicles from last night's storm. These don't capture what the woods actually looked like, but I had fun with Photoshop.

<--wierd random special effect.

This one shows the guy's couch leaning against his garage, if you zoom in. Classy. --->

Everyone in Iceland is a poet

According to this guy at least: Eric Weiner. Two best quotes:

• "Happiness is other people, much more than we think. Personal happiness is an oxymoron. It really is about relationships with friends, family, strangers."


• "The great irony is that most Americans are pursuing happiness, but the pursuit of happiness is one of the chief sources of unhappiness."

I wonder if pursuing happiness damages the relationships in your life when you start to become too involved in thinking only about what you want, what you need, and forget to take those other people into account.

I am usually happiest when I'm busy. Well, as in, good-busy -- when I have plans to see friends and go places and do things that I want to do. Not as in, school-busy. I don't understand people who find fulfilment and identity in PTA stuff. I suppose that sounds like a horrible thing to say, and I don't mean to put anyone down. I just don't know how it feels to enjoy doing this stuff. I wish I did enjoy it. I have so damn much to do.

I was asked by more than one person to keep my current role for next year, and I JUST DON'T WANT TO. It's not a vanity thing, that I want to be begged. I don't like doing it all and I can't spare the chunk it carves out of my time. Time that I could be spent doing things I "need" do around the house, and time on my own artistic projects.

So I guess I am moving to Iceland. Right after I take a nap. I have decided to give up on the endless rounds of coke, pepsi, wine, and beer that I consume. I'm allowing people to believe it's "for Lent" if they need to. My primary reason is that I just don't feel well lately. Or fit my clothes. Without my 40 oz of soda a day (ballpark) I am, however, crabby and tired to the point of falling over.

The clothes thing aside, the more urgent moment was that about a week and a half ago I thought I felt my heart start to do that little thumpy-thump that it used to*, a few years back. Just in time for all the Wear Red for Women's Heart Health crap. I was really stressed out about a few things, and sitting there one day, I thought I felt something not right. It didn't flip as hard as it used to, didn't seem to get up to the old 220 BPM gallop, and it only lasted for a few seconds - I coughed pretty hard (that's one trick I used to do to correct the abnormal rhythms I used to have and I did it without even thinking about it). It stopped. But did it ever really start? I'm still not sure. I freaked out hard about it for a few days. It took me a couple of years to get up the guts to have the first ablation. They promised me it would cure the problem forever. I don't even have followup visits. But what if that wasn't right?

Now, there is at least one person reading this who is about to pick up the phone or email me and say "why didn't you tell me?" I don't know. I just don't. I'm not really looking for sympathy or encouragement or... I don't know what. Was it my imagination, the stress of the day? I've had some really bad days at work lately. I'm honestly not sure. I'm not going to the doctor unless it happens again(wearing a Holter monitor never caught it in the past, and I don't want to deal with another 24 hour test). It hasn't happened since then. Not overloading on caffeine can only improve my odds of avoiding future episodes.

So. Iceland it is.

*A/V Node Re-entry. Technical lingo for "fucked up heartbeat". Long winded details way back here, where I thought I left them.

Happy New Year

To any of my readers who celebrate it!

My horoscope for the year of the Snake: This is a busy year and a time to seize the opportunities coming your way. You will find the year invigorating and will motivate your creativity.

Me likey.

Mangia

I am pleased to tell you that I am buying a restaurant

At least I was going to buy it, until I took another look at my scratchoff ticket.

Said ticket was purchased before 8 am today, on Ash Wednesday. Aren't I pious? Other people were getting ashes. I was getting a Lucky 7 ticket. In my feeble defense I was rather pissy because SOMEONE DRANK ALL THE MILK AND HOW CAN I HAVE OATMEAL WITH NO MILK?

I worked from home today. This morning I got some programming done (with help on one of the pieces, but it's still done) that has been hanging over me since, well, around Christmas.

The Food Network is not suitable for viewing on A.W. I'm just pointing that out.

Requiem for Rodents

Suzy called me late in the evening yesterday saying "Oh my GOD, oh my GOD."

To back up a little... the other night she looked in her work tote bag. There was a cheap granola bar there, and an expensive one. She discovered that apparently a mouse had chewed into the foil and eaten part of the cheap one; even mice don't want the health store granola bars.

Mice in her coat closet, not a good thing.

She called her building's staff and they left her a couple of sticky traps. I believe she said they are "8 ball" or some insane brand like that. No poison, no snappy things in apartment buildings. Eeesh. I pointed out that the traps that close around the victim are much more effective ( - except for one mouse I had, who ALMOST got away. I am still haunted by the image of the trap closed directly down the center of his skull, and his bulging little beady eye.)

So the OMG OMG was upon coming home to find out that Senor Mickey had gotten stuck (eating more of the same kind of granola bar, which she will never eat again now...) and was thrashing around and dragging the trap and pooping and so on. Niiiiiiice.

You have to understand that someone who routinely takes care of tiny one- or two- pound babies found a tiny dying mouse to be unsettling. I tried my best to comfort her, using words like "vermin" "rodent" "fleas" and Hantavirus.

Eventually the mouse went to that great big... dumpster in the parking lot.... to freeze to death. "Just go to sleep," she whispered. "... it will be over soon. Eat the rest of that granola bar."



PS: Brownies can NOT be made with olive oil.

Miscellany

So. Tired.

Did 98 million americans hit the snooze alarm ONE MORE TIME today? Did everyone have an extra cup of caffeine today? I want to go to sleep and it's 7:30.

Mr. Gates, don't put ads between me and my google search results. Please? I use google every day. Don't screw with me.

My Sirius radio power cord is broken. :::weeping:::: I found one at Target that is QUITE confusing. Generic. Six little adapter plugs. Must set desired voltage and polarity. This is a job for the first boy I speak to at work tomorrow who is willing to put up with me and my nonsense about my radio.

My kids just came to get me to have me play a "game" that involves me listing off "four" of various things. Names, jobs. (I resisted the urge to name jobs like masseur, etc) Then some circling on a paper then some scribbling and counting. It's all very confusing on one big glass of wine. Apparently I'm a singer with a dog and six kids. I gotta put them in a better school as soon as I can.

Is it really almost Lent? Can't I please go to Mardi Gras just once? I'm already dipping into too many vacation days. Never mind.

Have you seen the Finish Line catalog? Where they take an image of a sneaker, and use it over and over in a photo collage to make an image of something else, like a dragon or a motorcycle? Awesome. I need to try this. On my to- do - after - PTA list.

Still Searching

Johnny Virgil has been sending me plenty of visitors lately... don't let him fool you people, that was no catalog, those photos were from his personal scrapbooks.

Otherwise, we have the following top contenders in the "google searches that lead to me" contest these days....

• Tiffany Granath restaurants? they'd serve only wine and sushi, I think...
• Keith Andersen - I still miss you - and I still can't buy it on iTunes, which is SO ANNOYING.
• Someone found my "Why don't we steal away" post, which um, yeah, it still hurts when I think about Jimmy.
• Suzanne Sommers wigs (WTF?)
• Apparently people would buy my electric bra - heh. You know it's a good idea...
• sodapants pregnant ....ummm....scary, those words actually will pull up a random post of mine!

Best commercial

hands down... the Budweiser "breathe fire" ad


:::waves at Beth::::

Wonder of wonders

I had FREE TIME today!!

I did a whole bunch of work on upcoming school fundraising projects yesterday and felt like I had accomplished enought that after lunch today I did pretty much.... nothing.

I sat in the recliner, watched some fluff on the Food Network, and that's about it. Until dinnertime.

Glorious.

I did have to make dinner, but just for the four of us. I made Ruebens and they were pretty damn good. Paper plates should happen more often in my house. I have decided. So it shall be.

how's that again?

My son was watching power rangers and I swear I heard one character say "blood is thicker than water, bitches..."

My head whipped around, and I made him rewind to convince me that what the guy said was the name of the character he was speaking to.

thanks, DVR!!

Hungry girl tip

The Hungry Girl daily newsletter is full of substitutions and recipes to help you fill up, enjoy your food, and save calories. Recently she suggested trolling the baby food aisle for treats that are a little better than "straight" junk food. You can find all sorts of cookies and crunchy things there now.

I hate to admit it, but I bought a can of cheese doodles/ aka Lil Crunchies - they are pretty darn good! Only 25 cal a serving, which is 16 little crunchies. They're not that funky ORANGE, because they're made with corn and real cheddar. They're moderately crunchy, but not in that extra crunchy way that the cheese doodles are. (And no, I didn't eat the entire can. But even if I had, that would only be 150 calories.)

How bad is it that there is baby junk food? Or that I have nothing better to talk about on a Saturday night?

Slightly better than flipping a coin

Usually Perez Hilton is all about our pathetic, white trash celebrity pop culture "icons". Amusing, if a little scary. (Every time Brit has drama, his posting increases exponentially.) He hasn't quite posted on Darfur yet, but once in a while he steps out of his paparazzi box. If you missed this abberation on Perez, check it out:

glassbooth "...connects you to the 2008 presidential candidate that represents your beliefs the best."

If you are bogged down in the minutiae of every day life like me, and as uninformed as I am about current political topics of debate, there are links to overview documents on some of the issues they ask about. Also, when they show you "your" candidate, they explain which of the issues you are in agreement with, and provide more details.

It did point me back to someone I've been thinking of voting for, so that was interesting. (No, I am not telling, and no, I'm not basing my vote on one internet web site Poly, put the paper bag down. )

Damn Rodent

It's Groundhog Day, which plays well with the ten-and-under crowd. According to CNN,

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow Saturday, leading the groundhog to forecast six more weeks of winter. The rodent* was pulled from his stump by members of the Punxsutawney Groundhog Club Inner Circle, top-hat- and tuxedo-wearing businessmen who carry out the tradition.

*even CNN knows how nasty this whole thing is... a festival built around a rodent.

I muttered aloud, "Can I just ask WHY if he sees his shadow, that means more winter? because the effing sun is out if he sees his shadow." My son was happy to clarify that Phil's shadow scares him (mine sure as hell terrifies me) and that he goes back into his hole to hide for a few more weeks of hibernating, thus more winter. But if he doesn't see his shadow, he walks around, and it's all good, so an early spring.

There you go. Schooled by a ten year old again. In my defense, last week I caught him playing Star Wars on his PSP and talking about "Hanna" Solo. I pointed out that not only was he wrong about the name, it wasn't a chick. (Don't call me a chick.)

Ten ways to make me crazy

When you are ten:

1. Be the only kid alive who DOESN"T want a snow day (because there was going to be Cake.... )
2. Mope around all morning
3. Pester me repeatedly while I am trying to work from home
4. Ask me if you can watch Lost while I'm trying to work. No, I'm sitting right here and I will definitely NOT be working if you do that.
5. Ask me more than once if we can go out for lunch. When you have a snow day. Because not only is there snow and freezing rain, it's sleeting.
6. Fight with your sister about lunch because she won't make you a grilled cheese until you help her fold the laundry.
7. Wear your pajamas most of the day, as though you were 90. It helps with the moping, it really does.
8. When you finally shower and dress, leave your towel on the floor even though YOU HELPED HANG YOUR OWN TOWEL BAR a mere five days ago.
9. Ask if you can have my Bluetooth earpiece, then carry on imaginary conversations for an hour. In my immediate vicinity.
10. (The day isn't over yet.... sigh....)

Gah

Just realized I posted a spoiler, and some people use RSS feeds and stuff. Sorry. Hope you caught the episode first.

Snow day

We have a snow day!

It's not doing ANYTHING yet, but it should be later this morning, and today was supposed to be a half day, and I think our principal just wanted to sit on the couch and watch the new Lost episode again. No wait, that's me. (The Oceanic ___!!!!!!!! OK, so, the obvious list given what we saw last night--dammit. I'm hooked again. In 47 episodes we will know, I guess.) -edited

The kids, you will not believe, are NOT happy about this day off. It's a favorite teacher's last day, and there was to be Cake.

I will give them cinnamon rolls (thank you, doughboy, you weird little amputee) but then they will be doing laundry all day. Mwahahahahaha. So, there will be even less joy in Mudville.