Not Quite Kodak Moments

So today 15 called me "a cool person trapped in a Mom's life" and that inspired this post about (drumroll...)

Infamous Moments in My Life As a Mom

We'll start with my son's top four.....at least the four that come to mind anyway...

#4 - D's first day of school:
I got him dressed in his catholic school uniform, gray pants, white shirt, little plaid tie (the tie is ugh plaid but the rest looks cute) He threw his arms around my neck and whimpered "Mommy I don't wanna go there."

I said "Honey, you'll have fun. Thomas and Patrick will be there." So then he said "Do I have to wear this? The other kids are gonna laugh at me." I said "Why? They'll be wearing the same thing. You look nice".

"I look like Bull-dozer-head Guy." ::::Mommy, with nothing more to say::::::



#3, the day D met our new pastor ...
He was talking to several parishioners and then he (the priest) turned and took a step while he was talking to someone, and stepped on D's foot! So of course he apologized to D and started talking to my husband (I was still with the rest of the choir). Then a minute later D says "Look at my shoe" and he says "It's nice, buddy, but it looks like there's something on it".... D retorts "That's where you stepped on me!"

#2 The Ant
Years ago we had a little issue with carpenter ants. My child actually got bit by one, and turned to me with the ant hanging off his finger. I tried to brush the ant of and the effing thing had actually sunk whatever it is that ants bite with into his finger so I had to PICK it off. Ew, ew, and ew. Then I had to call the pediatrician; "Is there a shot or anything that he needs??" Oh, so much fun. But not as much fun as...

#1 The Dog Story!!!
I put the kids in aftercare, which I don't normally do.

So I went to pick them up and the teacher in charge said "Gee, he's not himself today." I vaguely nodded at her thinking "Uh huh, they hate being here after school" and she said "Did you have to go by the police station?" That got my full attention and I said "Excuse me?"

She then told me that "Your son told me about the dog". When I finally conveyed to her that I had NO IDEA what she was talking about she said "Your son told us that a robber broke into your home last night and shot and killed your dog." No part of this was true.

I then found out that he had told his homeroom teacher the same story so we went by her class on the way out. After he apologized she asked him to wait outside a moment. She then let me know that last week he'd told her that our neighbor's home burned down and one of them died. Oh. My. God.

I can't remember what we did to punish him. It seems like there was somewhere we had planned to bring him, a buddy's birthday party or something, and that was nixed. For a while, EVERYTHING he told us, we grilled him. Did that really happen, or did you imagine it? Because you have to tell us when you're pretending and you can't pretend when grownups don't know you're pretending!!! Oy vey.


It's not just stories about my son that I remember...

I only have one for B, my daughter, but it's a kicker; it happened, 11/7/2002 (It was two days before my birthday; and she was EIGHT YEARS OLD. Keep that in mind.)

I had her take a shower in the afternoon before dinner. I normally comb conditioner through her hair which at the time was down to her shoulder blades.

A while later I went looking for her to see what she wanted for dinner. She was looking at herself in the mirror. I picked up a comb and started combing out her wet hair and she quickly said "I combed my hair already".
I started combing it anyway just to get the last few tangles out. It's a warm-fuzzy sort of cute-kitten thing to comb your little girl's hair. I love to do it. All of a sudden I noticed a piece of hair sticking out in a funny direction. I realized it had been cut! I gasped in horror. "Who did this to you?" I thought that certainly someone had done it to her at school.

She gave me this horribly guilty look and said "I did it."

I was so upset. I ran my fingers through her hair and chunks of it were gone over her right ear. It was terrible. One piece was cut down so that the end was barely an inch from her scalp.

I was crying, heartsick. We have been growing her hair out for almost 3 years. Three years of untangling and braiding and trimming only the ends and so on. It was so discouraging because I really thought we'd have to cut it all off because of what she'd done. I figured, at best, it might be chin length, and probably feathered all over.

So I was sobbing and yelling at her "what were you thinking? why would you do this? Little babies do this... not eight year olds!" She showed me the garbage can where she she had dropped the pieces of hair and I saw about a handful of hair! She had used her little school scissors. Thank goodness that she didn't have REAL scissors and her hair was wet and not easy to cut!

(Mr Carly) came in as I was melting down and yelling. He couldn't believe she had done it either. He told her that she would get a haircut as short as him. (which would basically be a buzz cut). I was still crying....
So then he called our haircut place, and his friend, the owner Sue, was there. She said (with a sigh) "They ALL do this, sooner or later...bring her in."

She later told me that she knew that if I couldn't even call her myself, it was BAD.

* * *

I really have to admit that I have nothing to complain about if these are my "biggest problems" so far. Sure, we've had the tonsils (puke in the car on the way home) and the teeth extractions (more puke), and the time I puked AND my kid puked at the same time, (not in a car though). But all in all they are healthy and wonderful and we are blessed. And now I can pretty much watch anybody puke and not really care! And that, my friends, is a Life Skill.