Dear Omar,
thank you for picking my kids up on your big yellow schoolbus. It's snowing AGAIN and I'm really not interested in going out there. I know that this is regents week and the local school administrators are not CAPABLE of saying "no one except high school kids have to show up", but really. The reason this world is so fucked up is that MEN run it. If Moms were in charge, you'd be home watching whatever funny shit you like to watch on tv.
I hope you enjoyed the Christmas cookies I gave you. (If you're not christian, they are of course, Holiday Cookies.) I noticed you put the gift bag on the dashboard and gave me a friendly wave - that was cool. Just so you know, I also noticed that when you hit the gas, the bag of cookies fell off the dashboard and all the little baggies fell out all over. I hope you're not used to dropping little baggies of important stuff all over. I hope the cookies didn't break too much.
I love your dreads, but could you please stop playing your rap station when you're driving my kids around? It's mildly disconcerting to see my seven year old son stand up (in his little dorky Catholic school uniform, complete with shitty clip on tie) and sing "I Like Big Butts and I Can't Lie...." et cetera.
Have a great day, and drive safely. Thanks for taking my little monsters, uh, sweet babies, out of my hair for a while. I'm going to use some PTO time and watch Sex and the City DVD's. Wheee!
love,
Carly
3 comments:
"The reason the world is so fucked up is because MEN run it."
Yeeeeowch. Excuse me while I slink the hell out of here.
Don't slouch away, Shamus. Hold your head up high (or at least normal height, no need walking around like a storky dork).
God put men and women on this earth together for very good reasons - we are diametrically opposed to each other. Without men, there'd be a lot of wallowing, more crying, too much handwringing and plenty of pillow fights. Without women, there'd be absolutely no decency, too little love, way too many wars, and no good Hollywood action thrillers.
Now I'm gonna duck!
If there were no men, what would women cry about?
(grin)
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