Thursday, September 25, 2008

Because she just gets me

Aaaaand right on schedule the day after my son's birthday, it is my daughter's.

The first picture I have of them together was on her birthday. My friend fixed up her hair and she came to the hospital in a cute little dress and we plopped all 9 lbs., 10 oz. of him in her little lap - she's barely holding him and it's the most adorable photo.

This girl has had her share of craptastic days. She chipped a tooth when she was 3. (There I was at the dentist trying to calm her down for an xray, while he was waiting to be fed, ...oy) Needed speech therapy for a while. Repeated first grade. Needed more remedial assistance for a while.

She was labelled as learning disabled a couple of years ago (she is very smart - she can read well and explain to you what she read in complex sentence structure, but has specific areas of difficulty in getting the words from her mind to her hand and writing her thoughts down. There are also mapping issues that relate to math functionalty.) It's an ongoing frustration to be different, to have an IEP, to suck way more at math than all of your friends, to stay after school in the aftercare program with little kids on the days mom couldn't pick you up after tutoring, and to have the teacher here & there who won't follow the IEP. She works hard - she never quit, even the year that she really NEEDED an IEP and didn't have one because the school district stalled.

Got her tonsils and adenoids out RIGHT before Christmas. (Holding her down while they put her under anesthesia, now THAT was fun) Got a retainer, then braces. She has scoliosis. She said to me once, Why do things only happen to me? Her brother definitely has the charmed life. "You're tough", I say. "You can handle this, and roll with it. You'll be fine." Because of her grace in staring down so many of these little life challenges, I bought her a book about Bethany Hamilton, the surfer who returned to competition even after a shark bit her arm off.

And on the days that her teeth hurt and people at school are stupid, I spoil her the best way I can - with her ipod. Girlfriend pretty much gets whatever songs she asks for. It's nice that she likes a lot of singers that I like. (I am not hopelessly out of touch!!! ) So far I am still able to straddle that line where I can relate to her and the things she likes but still be strict with her and not just an "I want to be your friend" Mom.

Not that I am not somewhat of a pushover. When reading was a struggle for her, I got her to read more by buying People magazine every time I saw it. She has inherited my "hey let's see what they're wearing to the awards shows" hobby and loves Go Fug Yourself almost as much as I do. I also know she appreciates that I know which Jonas is her favorite (Nick) and I save whatever pictures of them I see on Perez, into her windows pictures folder.

She will beat me to a punchbuggy every time. (I say UM, I'M CONTROLLING A TWO TON VEHICLE, I'M KIND OF BUSY WITH THAT and she just laughs at me. ) She will help me around the house without complaining and laugh at jokes that should be going right over her head. She's fun in her own way because she is not the late night talk show host persona that my son is, but she will hang around and chill, and try new things and not complain about random experiences I drag her along for.

While my son still has me on a pedestal of perfection, my daughter seems to see the real me. (She still likes me! Hah.) She seems to be able to roll with my crankiest moments and not take them personally, and sometimes she can make a KILLER joke at just the right moment. I can do that to her too - we seem to be able to help each other cope with crap.

So today I celebrate the best thing that ever happened to me - becoming a Mom.

2 comments:

onescrappychick said...

Happy Birthday B..... I hope you enjoy your special day. (and give your mom a hug for me huh?)

emmay said...

Happy Belated Birthday B!! (And D!)
Beautiful post Carly...I only hope I can say the same for my relationships with my daughters in another 10 years.

Things will get better... right?

I distinctly remember a day in... maybe February?  I remember the moment, but not what day it was. I was sitting at work thinking about plan...