Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Ashes

It's a mixed bag. I'm worried about this crazy economy and my bills and my job and what will happen after the election. I lost 10 lbs. since my doctor informed me that I am in the early stages of diabetes. (Apparently no one has noticed.) My daughter is miserable because band is starting and her braces are killing her.

It's sunny today. Aren't you supposed to be perky and happy when the sun is shining? I'm doing the best I can, but just not feeling it. An old friend of mine had a terrible accident last week, and I didn't know about it until last night. Not that I could do anything to make it any better, but oh God I wish I could.

I'm feeling better myself, as far as the bronchitis goes; the antibiotics are done. But I still would not say I'm sleeping 'well', especially last night after the shock and sad news.

I burned some papers today. It was just a few items, that represented something that didn't work out the way I'd hoped. They've been lurking around here, and every time I come across them I re-live a little bit of the disappointment. I thought that if I watched them go up into flames and disappear that it would help somehow, to let go of that bitterness.

I guess I am not cut out for this "chick stuff", (in the chick flicks someone burns documents and it's a turning point and a "yay!" moment of victory) ... I don't feel triumphant, or any of this bullshit called "closure". It seems like such a neat and tidy idea. Burn the traces, obliterate the sadness.

But... they didn't even burn completely. So there they were, still reminding me, and now what was I going to do with these charred fragments? Fabulous. I drowned them in water, and dumped them in the woods. Fuck it.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Things

that would probably get me in trouble....

- telling the well dressed lady I work with, who has long black hair, and is wearing a black dress and a black bow in her hair, that for a second when I was walking down the hall way behind her I was thinking about Minnie Mouse

- asking my boss "can I go home? I just don't feel like working yet (cough, cough, hack)"

-telling il Putz who sits near me that I don't care if the painters he hired are morons and would he please keep his voice down

That's just for starters....


Carly(via Blackberry)

The worst

...The Very Worst Thing about this insomnia that comes around 1 am with this illness and / or the antibiotic ISN'T the queasy feeling.

It's that Love Bug by Jonas Brothers (a song I heard ONCE on DWTS) has been playing in a never-ending loop inside my mind.

Over.

And.

Over.


<I>Love bug again</i>


Carly(via Blackberry)

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Amazing race is back on, Yaaaay. So I am sitting out on my porch under a cozy blanket listening to the rain while I watch. If only I could have some wine and bonbons.

Today I made ziti for 70 darling children in my not quite spare time. It only took a while because we were doing it for the first time and didn't have keys and a couple of things we needed. We have the previously mentioned caterer showing us the ropes so I think next time will be easier.

That's it. I'm out of gas. G'night!


Carly(via Blackberry)

Sunday Art


found via http://www.vermontdaily.com/

Saturday, September 27, 2008

Indian Summer

My garden is doing this... (click to enlarge and see the dew, it's my favorite part of the photo)



And my house is finally ALMOST done (ok, I need curtains...and I have a picture frame for that empty spot on the kitchen wall)




And I even got the RIGHT fireplace log when I went back to the warehouse.




Today I have the house to myself all day and I am not complaining! I did go out for lunch with a friend, because the walls were closing in on me after 5 days of being home sick. I have the windows open (it's 72*) and the sirius on and a pile of random things to catch up on, but that's OK.

Friday, September 26, 2008

Turn lane

Waiting to go off in a new direction

Watching other people race past me,
straight toward their destinations

They fade away into the horizon, and I'm still sitting here.....

Carly(via Blackberry)

THIS

...is SO, so not the log I asked for.

Aaaaaaaaagh.


Carly(via Blackberry)

Twiigs

Welll... I tried to use Twiigs but the process they say to follow just did not work for me.
I am fairly comfortable putting HTML into a post but for whatever reason, didn't work.

Now all the joy is gone. Take my effing poll, willya? I made it via blogger instead and it's over there in my sidebar.

Happy Friday. I didn't get much sleep last night. But I am off from work today. Yay!

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Because she just gets me

Aaaaand right on schedule the day after my son's birthday, it is my daughter's.

The first picture I have of them together was on her birthday. My friend fixed up her hair and she came to the hospital in a cute little dress and we plopped all 9 lbs., 10 oz. of him in her little lap - she's barely holding him and it's the most adorable photo.

This girl has had her share of craptastic days. She chipped a tooth when she was 3. (There I was at the dentist trying to calm her down for an xray, while he was waiting to be fed, ...oy) Needed speech therapy for a while. Repeated first grade. Needed more remedial assistance for a while.

She was labelled as learning disabled a couple of years ago (she is very smart - she can read well and explain to you what she read in complex sentence structure, but has specific areas of difficulty in getting the words from her mind to her hand and writing her thoughts down. There are also mapping issues that relate to math functionalty.) It's an ongoing frustration to be different, to have an IEP, to suck way more at math than all of your friends, to stay after school in the aftercare program with little kids on the days mom couldn't pick you up after tutoring, and to have the teacher here & there who won't follow the IEP. She works hard - she never quit, even the year that she really NEEDED an IEP and didn't have one because the school district stalled.

Got her tonsils and adenoids out RIGHT before Christmas. (Holding her down while they put her under anesthesia, now THAT was fun) Got a retainer, then braces. She has scoliosis. She said to me once, Why do things only happen to me? Her brother definitely has the charmed life. "You're tough", I say. "You can handle this, and roll with it. You'll be fine." Because of her grace in staring down so many of these little life challenges, I bought her a book about Bethany Hamilton, the surfer who returned to competition even after a shark bit her arm off.

And on the days that her teeth hurt and people at school are stupid, I spoil her the best way I can - with her ipod. Girlfriend pretty much gets whatever songs she asks for. It's nice that she likes a lot of singers that I like. (I am not hopelessly out of touch!!! ) So far I am still able to straddle that line where I can relate to her and the things she likes but still be strict with her and not just an "I want to be your friend" Mom.

Not that I am not somewhat of a pushover. When reading was a struggle for her, I got her to read more by buying People magazine every time I saw it. She has inherited my "hey let's see what they're wearing to the awards shows" hobby and loves Go Fug Yourself almost as much as I do. I also know she appreciates that I know which Jonas is her favorite (Nick) and I save whatever pictures of them I see on Perez, into her windows pictures folder.

She will beat me to a punchbuggy every time. (I say UM, I'M CONTROLLING A TWO TON VEHICLE, I'M KIND OF BUSY WITH THAT and she just laughs at me. ) She will help me around the house without complaining and laugh at jokes that should be going right over her head. She's fun in her own way because she is not the late night talk show host persona that my son is, but she will hang around and chill, and try new things and not complain about random experiences I drag her along for.

While my son still has me on a pedestal of perfection, my daughter seems to see the real me. (She still likes me! Hah.) She seems to be able to roll with my crankiest moments and not take them personally, and sometimes she can make a KILLER joke at just the right moment. I can do that to her too - we seem to be able to help each other cope with crap.

So today I celebrate the best thing that ever happened to me - becoming a Mom.

Dear Internet

I am feeling a little bit better. Slow going, though. But thanks.

I'm working from home today because my security system got posessed last night, and started emitting a piercing loud BEEP every. Two. Minutes. Which was actually more exciting than the David Blaine special, but now I'm just being mean.

We got it temporarily silenced (surprisingly the solution didn't even involve breakage) but I need a dude to come fix it. Or a girl, hey, I'm not picky.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Cheesemaking a la Carly 101

I signed up for a cheesmaking class at this little bakery/ NY state wines store that I frequent. I love the owner - she runs a farmer's market in the summer months and she arranged the bus tour of all of the cheese farms that my son and I took about a week ago.


I had planned to blog about how much fun it is to make cheese and what I learned. Except...nothing ever goes according to my plans.

I have been slowly coming down with a sinus infection since Sunday. Tuesday morning I put a call into my doctor as soon as the office opened. He's notoriously hard to get in to see. Tell her to come at midnight, he joked to his receptionist. Ha, ... hah.

She suggested 5:45 pm. Well, the cheese class started at 5:30 and I was bringing my kids to that, and I swear to you, I never get in to see the doctor at the appointed time. You wait and wait for this guy. So I said, well, I have this class, but it's right near your office, until about 8, can I come afterward? She said yes, he will still be seeing patients by then (so why offer me 5:45? ...this was my point in countering the invite... ) and so I went to class.

Things were just getting going, and the class was interesting and we were just adding citric acid to milk, when my cell phone went off. Crappity crap crap. I should mention that I had a fever by then and was feeling stupid for dragging myself there and risking giving everyone else cooties.

So I slipped out to check the voicemail and it was "Uh, can you come now? We're done for the day". So I told the store owner I needed to go to the doctor for a few minutes - she looked really alarmed and said "do you need help?" and I felt like an even bigger idiot. No, just a prescription for a sinus infection, was the essence of my reply.

I should add that I did know one of the other attendees; her kids go to school with mine. So I wasn't TOTALLY abandoing them. Much. Well ok , but I was only gone half an hour.

So I went there and STILL WAITED 10 -15 minutes because someone came in for a flu shot before I got there. What. Ever.


But the reason I like my doctor is that he is very smart, and takes all the time that you need, (hence the backlog) and always offers just enough sympathy to seem like a decent human being who actually cares about his patients. The dismay in his voice when he said "oh wow, you have bronchitis too" made up in some tiny cosmic way for the nonsense and running around. Plus he gave me most of the meds I need. (All of those damn reps that also help to get the schedule so out of whack, they leave behind plenty of free samples, and he give them out as needed. So I got an inhaler and a nasal spray; two less prescriptions I have to fill)


Where was I ? Oh, right. Cheese. Cheese! Gotta get back there.


So, when I dragged myself back to class I'd been gone at least half an hour. In that time they warmed milk and put some citric acid in it. I'm not kidding.... that's all they did. There was a muttered remark to me that "this guy sure can talk". Um, it's a three hour class, people. What did you expect? The guy makes cheese all day, he gets lonely.

It did get fun because they were pouring in rennet when I got there and that's what makes milk (yes, regular milk with just a little acidity boost) turn to blobs of what looks like egg whites. You stare at it a while, then poke it with your finger, to see if it's solidifying. Well, unless you have a sinus infection and bronchitis. Then you don't touch it. People are funny about that.


After a few more minutes (of talking) then you more or less slice the milk into cubes, right there in the pot. The trick to "cubes" is the diagonal slicing. I'd have to show you. The people I was with were cool about letting my son do it, but he made the cubes way too big. Momma is too much of a perfectionist. But he was really enjoying himself.


Then the whey sort of leaches out from the cubes for a while. More talking. Interesting talking, but just lots of talking. Then you drain it - but carefully - if you dump it out like pasta it could turn back to milk. So you spoon it out into a colander a little bit at a time.

Now it was time for the guy to show off. You put - even a little blob - of the cheese into really hot water for a while, then you start kneading it pulling it like it's taffy. It looks nothing like mozzarella cheese, until all of a sudden, it does. Out of nowhere, it looked like ricotta but all of a sudden it's glossy and shiny and stretchy.

The really badass cheesemaker put his hand right into the scalding water to knead, while we soaked our cheesegoo blobs using slotted spoons and then worked them in our hands, saying "ow ow ow" like a bunch of daisies.

So, 2 1/2 hours later, you end up with fresh mozzarella. Nice. As I mentioned my lunch today was based off some of the cheese I made, some basil, some of the last tomatoes that are sprinkled on my plant, and some smoked sea salt (when I got the salt and showed it off saturday to my brother and also to Suzy's friend, they both went "ooooh" and I could just see them thinking "beef, yep, grilled, yep...") Simple things make us happy.

Did I mention that when I got home I could barely drag myself into the house? Note to stupid: don't overdo it. But then of course I made my kid brownies to bring to school for his birthday. It's a mix. No big deal.

And a thousand reasons more

Today is my son's birthday.

Just about 3:43 is when his biiiig giant head popped out (he broke his collar bone on the way out).

He doesn't read this, but I can tell you, I love having a son. He hasn't grown up enough yet to be a stupid man. (Sorry, guys.) Someone said to me once, "you will never love any other male as much as you love your son(s)" and she was right.

He tells me I'm pretty, and comes over to hug me when something is amiss. He throws himself into sports - golfing and basketball and baseball. The other day he wrote up a training schedule for himself (situps, pushups, running or biking, and lifting weights to build up his biceps/ triceps). He looks like a tall skinny basketball player but somehow has "football" as a goal right now. Ummmmmm.....

He loves the wii, and is also picking up on all of my hobbies like taking photos (we got him a camera). He is learning to cook. (cough cough can already cook more than his dad cough cough) He's being very patient about the stalled Yankee stadium mural, and he wants to help. (He still has an idea about putting a disco ball out on our porch; I will have to deal with that some day.) He got me (ME !) to try fishing. He went kayaking with me. He's FUN.

He went with me to the farms, and the cheesemaking class, and was able to be in the moment and converse with the adults around him and enjoy those things that some kids his age would find very, very dumb. I'm building a renaissance man.

I don't mind his smelly bed that looks like Taz slept in it (how DOES he rip it apart every night) or that he never picks up his clothes. He does laundry! He folds and folds and folds that huge rolling ball of clothing like in the tv commercial. Speaking of Taz, he prefers vintage cartoons. And he wants a dog. So, so much. (not happening any time soon). He's dying for a cellphone and someone recently gave him one that was off contract (replaced by an iphone) and he was deliriously happy. Until the battery died.

I could go on and on....but seriously, it's the hugs.

Balls

-mozzarella balls, which I made last night at a cheesemaking class. With tomatoes and basil I grew...and a touch of smoked sea salt and olive oil. You wish you were here for lunch. Except, I have bronchitis.

More on all of this, later.


Carly(via Blackberry)

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Followups

Looks like there's a calendar based on CubeChic (theme-decorated cubicles, a book which I blogged about TWO years ago)

Unfortunately it looks like the same photos that appeared in the original book. But hey, if it earns money, go for it.

Bent Objects http://bentobjects.blogspot.com/ creator Terry is also working on a book. However, he's hoarding new images to save them for the book. So he hasn't been posting as much lately, but it's worth adding to your Google reader list. This one struck me as particularly funny in light of my recent trip to the farms. I don't have the heart to tell him how DIRTY sheep really are. Gross.


Toasty

I may FEEL like crap but at least I can work from home.

(Edit - the plants are in off the porch, because it's too cold at night.... my tomato plant is dying... I didn't stain the fireplace yet... still not sure if I like the fan piece on the front or if it should be bigger or if it will be fine once it's stained.... and does anyone want a tv? it works, just needs a universal remote... another long story... )


Carly(via Blackberry)

Monday, September 22, 2008

New song

Charlotte Sometimes.....

How I could just kill a man.

;-)


Carly(via Blackberry)

Fall

So... great. It's autmn. And Monday.

At least I have fun things to look forward to this week (my cheese class, more birthday celebrations, dinner out, etc. And THE OFFICE. )

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Sunday Art





Worth nagging him for, huh? This photo was taken by my friend; it's a portrait of his grandfather, who lives in Barbados... I love the smooth light and the color tones.

I've been asking him for it (making clear I wanted to put it on this page) ever since I saw it. Nice work, A. (But don't you dare quit your day job. Because I need stories like this to keep me off the roof. )

APB will be kicking off his own blog soon and I will share. ::::cough cough comment with your link cough cough cough::::::

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Espionage, Elementary school style

So "She" was having friends sleep over. "He" went out to dinner with a Friend, Friend's dad, and Mr. C.

The guys came back and were chilling at our barstools. Well, the dads were...the boys vanished.

Soon I heard the beep of two way radios. They were spying on the girls. I believe their goal was to figure out how to set a radio to keep broadcasting, for eavesdropping of course, and implant it in the target zone. There is a plan that I recovered from the trash - an index card with a sketch of locations for motion sensor alarms, and "where we will hide".

That didn't work (one of the girls noticed a sensor) and so they retreated to their command post, where they commenced the lowtech plan B, listening through the heat ducts to the girl's fortress next door.

"MOM! They're listening through the heat vent". I went to mediate and heard His Friend say "no we're not".... through the heat duct. It really was hysterical.

Son could not understand why he was banished to sleep at Friend's house. Hmmm.

Morning

My family room is littered with corpses. OK, well, just sleeping teenagers. Who were up until 3 a.m. I'm probably annoying them while I type. Heheheheh.

I posted that song last night and was going to go back and blog about listening to Sirius 9 and howthey were interviewing Delta and she was singing live and it was great and I liked her. But then the dog ate my internet connection. So I was offline the entire evening last night, and I am still a little shaken by the experience. (I kid, I kid) So what may seem like a very angst-y post was really just "this is a pretty song, y'all should give it a listen".

My day ahead is an exciting whirlwhind of "oh my god the tub is so gross, I have to do it" and a 9" pile of papers that have accumulated since school started. Yowza. Oh, and in my spare time I can put spiral bindings into 250 copies of the school directory - a little term paper I spent all of August typing after I finally got my PC back together. Big fun

But there is chicken parm in my future for dinner tonight, and it will taste even better because Suzy's and her beau will be coming here to cook it for me. The boy can coooook.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Born to try

Doing everything that I believe in
Going by the rules that I’ve been taught
More understanding of what’s around me
And protected from the walls of love


All that you see is me
And all I truly believe


That I was born to try
I’ve learned to love

Be understanding
And believe in life
But you’ve got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you’ve got to sacrifice the things you like


But I was born to try
No point in talking what you should have been
And regretting the things that went on
Life’s full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds look at the bigger picture


And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe


That I was born to try


-- Delta Goodrem

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Arrrr

Friday the 19th of September is Talk Like a Pirate Day. Do whatever you need to do with that knowledge. ( Nowhere near me. )

I swabbed the decks today. Actually I took an old washcloth and cold water and scrubbed bloodstains out of the carpet from last night's debacle. It didn't take long. I thought it would be much more difficult. Plenty of water, dabbing and blotting while we talked about P, the family friend, who eventually died during the night last night.

I am tired. My shoulders and neck hurt. Waaaa.

Ps: the caterer said tonight, "Oh, I remember you... what was your name again?" Which was actually going to yield negative points, but he did come up with the names of two people that I hung around with. So we had a good laugh when he said "you look just like your yearbook photo... I sure don't!"

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Genius

SO. It's been one crappy fucking year at times, let me tell you.

It's almost midnight and I'm up because we got one of those heart sinking phone calls.... someone fell again. If you know me in real life, that might make sense. If not, it's probably too much to say even that. But I am in that tired, but can't sleep (until I hear what they say at the hospital) zone.

Earlier today I let apple upgrade my pc to iTunes 8 so I have been playing around with "Genius". You pick a song that you have, and then you can either see other songs that you might like (to buy) or you can have iTunes make you a play list of "stuff like that".

It's a suitable distraction for times when you can't think. Pick a song, click the nuclear symbol. Right now it only seems to work with recently purchased stuff. I tried some of my all time favorite (older) songs and got more or less a shrug of the shoulders from the Genius. But I"ll take what I can get right now

(Name -- Artist ***)

Back 2 Good -- matchbox twenty ***Damn -- matchbox twenty ***Bad Day -- Fuel ***All For You (Acoustic Version) -- Sister Hazel ***This Is How a Heart Breaks -- Rob Thomas ***Interstate Love Song -- Stone Temple Pilots ***Cold -- Matchbox Twenty ***Closing Time -- Semisonic ***Run -- Collective Soul ***Away From The Sun -- 3 Doors Down ***Change Your Mind -- Sister Hazel ***Faithfully -- Journey ***Argue -- matchbox twenty ***Calling All Angels -- Train ***Bent -- matchbox twenty ***Sweetest Thing [The Single Mix] -- U2 ***Cumbersome -- Seven Mary Three ***Everything You Want -- Vertical Horizon ***Never Let You Go -- Third Eye Blind ***Hemorrhage (In My Hands) -- Fuel ***Follow You Down -- Gin Blossoms ***What It Takes -- Aerosmith ***Be Like That -- 3 Doors Down ***Meet Virginia -- Train ***Bed of Lies -- matchbox twenty ***

Carly and the Caterer

Now see what I went and started....

Last (school) year when I was a PTA officer people complained about the lunch program we had in place. It's a parochial school, so there are issues with money and having volunteers to work and how some of those volunteers got along and how they managed things.

So I helped put together a survey -- and based on the results, the new officers for this year found a local caterer to help us revamp the whole program.

Tonight was one of the training sessions set up for people willing to help with prep in the venings, to take the workload off of those parents who can go during the day and actually serve lunches.

I know the caterer. Well, I did -- in highschool. I knew who he was, most definitely. I was SO in love with him in the 9th grade. SO, so in love in the most unrequited crush, EVER. He had no idea who I was then (30 years ago) and he doesn't now. It's funny. So funny to me, that I smirked through the entire thing, trying not to stare at his vastly different appearance in an attempt to reconcile it with The Boy From Math Class, and now I'm sure he wonders who that slightly strange woman is.

The funniest thing is - even if I tell him, he still won't know ;-)

Morning

Well, the patient is home and this little bump in the road is past. But as I was eating a mini ice cream sandwich at almost 2 a.m., I saw a long road ahead, and Lord, my feet are already heavy lumps, so I will need your help to keep walking it.

Another family friend is very close to passing away (we have an entire set of utterly adorable seniors in our universe... like my 85 year old neighbor who called me crying delighted tears when she got our bouquet the other day on her birthday... she is the one that my son went to when he came off the bus to an emtpy house all of those years ago... how could I not love her? The buzz of happy from that phone call lasted about 15 minutes before a client power played me at work and killed my joy.). But I digressed there, didn't I. It's going to be a long day. One of those "did I drive the last mile half asleep?" days.

When I eat breakfast, I check my mail, and now that I no longer have 10 - 15 PTA emails each morning, I check on some other blogs. So, I keep up on Stephanie and Christian and Courtney made me cry with this...

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

As seen in Tarjayyy

So yes, my big night out, Michaels craft store (ONLY SPENT SEVEN DOLLARS). Then Target. But it got me out of the house.

This may look like a Barbie tent (that's a box of sandwich baggies, for scale) and I really would have bought one but alas, it's just a model of a real tent you can buy to go camping --although why do people do that(camping) when God gave us cruise ships??? Just kidding. Sort of.

I love to kayak buit HIGHLY doubt these big green eyes will ever be closed all night in a tent. I'll take a nice log house. With electricity and a spa tub. And Sirius radio. I'm so not kidding. Those are my minimum requirements.

Carly(via Blackberry)

Monday, September 15, 2008

Misc

More goats - McGregor Eyes Clooney's Goats

Working on a photo book of the addition project. Just starting. I have sooooo many photos - trying now to sort & weed out unnecessary ( $$ ) extras. I have a few dozen blog entries to provide text. Goal is to have it ready for Christmas. :::falls down laughing at self:::::

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Pictures

The full set of what I'm sharing is here .










Just two more




The antique sheep shears and the hand crank to power them.

Last stop

We rode up north, and I swear off to the west I was looking at the layers of the adirondacks off in the distance, growing more translucent the farther back they were. Beautiful.

I should mention the STRANGE looks we are getting tooling around on a giant tour bus in the waaaayyy out in the country part of the state we're in. Very amusing.

The last farm is a sheep farm and we watched men work with their border collies - it takes about four years to train a dog on how to properly circle around, what distance to maintain from the sheep, and so on. It was fun to watch and the vista was beautiful.

Then we watched a sheep shearing demonstration. He had some antique tools which I photographed. I wanted to shoot his gnarled fingers but there were so many people asking questions when it was time for the "bus group" to go.

(This day was an organized "tour" that was advertised by the county tourism association. Of course I missed the part about getting your "passport" stamped at each stop to enter a drawing for prizes. Oh well. )

Also I have to tell one friend that there was a giant spider on my back and I didn't even scream.

The end - home to dine on something other than CHEESE!!!


Carly(via Blackberry)

Farm 5

Ok, this is going to turn into OH MY GOSH NO MORE GOATS. Don't show me another milking stand and explain how their heads are held by the bars.
This farm was behind the 8 ball because they had no power for 4 hours this morning. But they scrambled to give us samples and had apples for sale, and baby chicks under a heat lamp (not for sale YET. Mmmm, chicken.)

My kid ate an apple and when he asked me where to throw away the core, the farmer's tall wife took it (she looked viking/ norwegian or something like that to me, and her son who I'll call Sven was about 7 feet tall.) She, the farmer's wife, yelled "here chick chick" and casually tossed the core aside. Fifteen chickens appeared out of nowhere, scrambling out from under the porch and so on, and attacked that core. My kid thought that was hysterical.

She seemed very content in her life, talking about the goats being cute to watch while she makes her cheese. Quark is one of her favorites. Didn't buy any myself. I didn't think ahead to bring a small cooler and icepack so I've gotten only hard cheeses and I'm probably ok given how chilly the bus is. Amateur.


Carly(via Blackberry)

How could I forget?

I was able to get a small pack of real maple syrup candy - yum. Also real syrup for my xmas cookies. Awesome.


Carly(via Blackberry)

Live blogging

Yes Scrappy, at the sheep farm they were showing the steps to spin yarn and I assume they sell it but didn't see any to buy.

Photos will follow, probably tomorrow as they're on my real camera, not the phone.

Farmer joke -

What do the cows sing on the way in to be milked?

"Oh the Yanks are coming, the Yanks are coming..."

(Sigh. He has been on the farm a long time. )


Carly(via Blackberry)

Farm 4

Dairy cows! (Hear my son say FINALLY as he got his chocolate milk.)

Not as much of a tour but way more free samples. I did not get to pet a cow (only 2 of you will get that joke).
Fourth generation farmer, and an accountant turned cheesemaker. Hmmm. I may be on to something here. Wait, no, he gets up at 4:30 and works till 7 pm.


Carly(via Blackberry)

Farm 3

Farm 3 was the prettiest so far in terms of buildings. Pretty red barns, and the cheese kitchen used to be a carriage house. More goats. The co-owner talked about working for a bank in Manhattan and the daydreaming of retiring to a dairy farm. Man was I jealous.

The other owner may have been Canadian, based on his accent and phrasing. He was funny, esp talking about about the "honeymoon pen" and what it was like to cut open the first aged batch of cheese they made....(bowing to whatever deity you believe in and so on).

It was nice to stand in the "cave" where they age cheese for a few minutes because now it's muggy outside.

The cheese they age for two weeks is named after Lilly, the farm's first goat. Awwwwwww.


Carly(via Blackberry)

Farm 2

It's funny, I have lived in upstate NY most of my life but spent hardly any time on farms.

Sheep's milk cheese is milder and nuttier than goat's milk. It also is different nutritionally - more calcium and so on. So said Ms. Sheepfarmer.

The yogurt was goooood and the brebis blanche was tasty and creamy. (So yes we're eating cheese all day but the tour planner owns a bakery and runs a farmers market so everyone got a fresh hard roll and a veggie salad that was to die for - broccoli, corn, tomato, cuke, red onion, chives and so on. )

This farm was muuuuch bigger. Where each of the goats has a name and the owner of that farm seemed much more of a "live off my land" type, there were far more sheep and it was much more automated in the milking area. There seemed to be employees at this second farm where at the first the man commented that he, his wife and daughter did everything from caring for the goats to putting up hay.

Ms. SF seems much more businesslike. Not that either of them works any less than the other... Just a sense of a different reason for farming in each case.

PS. Fork bracelet guy has hand sanitizer, so he is becoming quite popular. I have to find out his name.

Pss. I won't comment on sheep shit texture. I had plenty of opportunities to analyse though. Blah. At least the sun is out now.


Carly(via Blackberry)

Tour notes - first farm

First farm - goats. Many flies(outside). Good gruyere cheese. Mr Farmer was a funny guy who told some of the quirky things about goats and their personalities.

Mrs Farmer was beautiful (not by hollywood standards, oh the horror she had long gray hair midway down her back.) But truly beautiful, and would have made an interesting portrait but she was busy and it was a little too windy. I want a good camera again (ability to switch lenses = good)

My kid wandered over to a sign hanging off a fence and sort of fixed it because it had almost fallen off. Then he noticed what it said -Caution, electric fence. Good thing he can read. Zzzzzt.

There's a guy on the bus who has this eclectic style and is wearing a bracelet made of a fork. The tines are bent back (sideways) and curved to make 2 hearts. My mission is to get a photo. Oh, and he was the one who asked the farmer how they keep the goats from mating with their own daughters. I am not even kidding.

(Answer, only two males on the farm, swapped every 3 years and lots of record keeping. And me, moving over to the other side of the crowd. Hah.)
We went by Dead Lake. My iPod shuffled in NY State of Mind. Really really. Oh, and we passed Lauderdale farm, Poly...


Carly(via Blackberry)

Sunday art

This is the placeholder for a picture my friend showed me of his grandfather. It was so cool that I have asked Mr Forgetful for it five times now. I just KNOW he'll send it to me. Soon. Get (it)off the (memory) stick buddy!!

Let's talk about SNL. I am tired, because I stayed up waiting for Him to be funny. (Hi Michael. It's me again, your favorite coug....um, fan) Sigh. Mike, the show was, um, a little ....DRY is the kind word I'll use. Is it too much of a groaner to call you a fish out of water?

Except for the fact that I cracked up at how you looked in all of the various wigs, which were awesome, so kudos to the people responsible for that. And in the locker room you went for it and danced without any visible mortification, so I have to give you credit for that. Overall I think it wasn't you so much as the skits. I wonder how many were revised when Barack couldn't come to plauy. The t-mobil skit was funny and Tina Fey was AWESOME.

Well the bus IS actually leaving now so I will sign off. Yay, touring farms on a rainy day. It's not hard enough not to step in pooop at a farm. Now we can play Is That Mud all day.

Cheese!


Carly(via Blackberry)

Friday, September 12, 2008

Slow burn

I am beside myself. I wanted to have a fire tonight. See the crack, in the back? I need to have what may be a very awkward chat with Btb. No fire for Carly tonight. Grrrrr.


Carly(via Blackberry)

Outta this town

http://www.roadtripusa.com/ is my daydream today. Jumping in my car in jeans and a sweatshirt, with a (wireless enabled) laptop - to blog of course- and a really good camera.

If you're looking for me I'll be on 6, 10, 1, then 8. When and if I get laid off, I'm rolling.


Carly(via Blackberry)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Perhaps

...this evening, I just MIGHT have waved about the letter showing the monthly tuition for a certain young person's school, and I may have flung, um, handed the car payment book at, uh, TO, that same person, to have them compare the numbers. This would illustrate that said car (quite a nice one, I might say) costs LESSSSSS PER MONTH. This would only be to illustrate why I might, yes indeed, definitely, feel TOTALLY JUSTIFIED in asking to quiz that same darling, on material that we know to be on a quiz on the morrow. The words "what we are sacrificing for you" might have slipped out.

My patience runneth out with the teenage attitude. And lo, I have such a long way to go. And such a "lo" checking account balance. September be the cruelest month, that with the lunch milk payment for the year, and the magazine drive, and the band registration, and the birthdays. Oh, the birthday's...

Moments

I took a few moments to remember today. I was in a teleconference filled with annoying rude people, and I just pulled off my headset a little bit before 9 am, and closed my eyes, and made some wishes for those left behind, to be able a little more each day to carry on somehow.

I had good moments and bad moments of my own today.

Bad moment - getting a LONG request from a client with their request deadline of "the end of the third quarter" embedded. Um, that quarter end's ABOUT (wait, let me get both my shoes off to count, no never mind, just one...) 13 days away and this is SO not going to happen. I just laughed and went to lunch. It's laugh or cry, kids.

Definitely lunch had good moments, being able to go out in the sunshine and feel warmth again, and hope that some sort of Indian summer will last a while.

We are not getting a team leader any time soon so my ulcer or whatever it is won't go away fast. I'm stalling on the last test that the doctor suggested because, ugh.... and I haven't even dealt with making an appointment for the "diabetic eye exam" because that phrase just tapdances around one of my worst fears.

Good moment - a naughty joke texted from Suzy (the clean part is, how many animals can u get in a pair of panty hose, and you'll have to call me for the answer. ) Also two different people mentioned "goats" to me within a span of five minutes and the circumstances around those events just cracked me up.

I'm off to do more typing on a thing for the PTA that should already be DONE. Sigh... my son wants me to work on the mural. Maybe after dinner. Maybe, maybe, maybe.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Yum

Working from home today, slogged across the rainy deck to get some of my tomatoes. Then some basil from the porch. Tomato, baby mozzarella balls, and basil is one of my favorite options as a side for some (otherwise BORING) chicken breast.

This weekend I am going to play wannabe gourmet again and take a tour of various farms in the area with my son to look at local cheesemaking operations. My local store that sells only NYS wines is running a bus. Goody, free samples... fresh air... mud! Dairy, goat and sheep cheese, oh my! I even convinced one of MY kids to go with me. (Catch that goat joke? I need to get out more. )

Next week, a hands-on cheese class. So after that I will know how to make my own mini mozzarella balls, thank you very much. Be nice to me, I might offer you some.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Hey Now

Dear Mike,
No, I haven't forgotten you. OK, well, for a few days I have. Sorry!!

Is it wrong* that I think I can just barely see a glimpse of your underwear? Or is it wrong that I looked? (I mean, you usually have so much less clothing on, so what's the difference?)

I certainly am enjoying your 15 minutes.

P.S. You can date/ marry Carrie Underwood, but if you ever so much as have drinks with JSimps someday, you'll be dead to me. Just saying.

*on how many levels??

Rough rough morning

I am late almost every day for work. (I need to be more thankful that it doesn't matter, because I don't punch a clock. But I'm late for the time that I'm aiming for.) If I am running late for work, I get frustrated, just like anyone. The later I get, the more I get tweaked out.

This morning was exponentially high on the "awful Monday" scale.

I was still cooking eggs this morning for Toothy Grin, and that went off fairly well until I tried to put a little thing of spreadable butter back into the fridge. Dropped it, picked it up, dropped it, the lid popped off, arrrgh. Washed the lid, (because of course it dropped butter side down) dropped the towel on the floor, stepped on it, so help me dear Lord, please just let me go to work.

I went out to my car with too many things in my hands and forgot my sunglasses. Then I sent Kid2 in for them, and started cleaning out my car, because it had some empty drink cups and so on cluttering it up. That was when I managed to drop my car keys into our garbage can. Gross. It's one of those really big ones that the automated trucks lift and dump. So I tried to grab a rake to "fish" for them because no way was Momma going to lean into that giant can given the day I was having, (and it's almost as tall as me). I would have been ass over teakettle in no time, my legs flailing around and my head buried in last night's dinner scraps. I mean really, can't you just imagine it? Be sure to imagine MANY little punctuation signs over the garbage can because I'd be swearing like crazy.

The rake that I reached for knocked over something else, which knocked over a spray plastic bottle of weed killer. The neck of THAT bottle snappped and started leaking, um, poison everywhere. Fck fck fck.

So I fished my keys out, and went in the house to wash off the long lanyard I keep them on (thank goodness, that's how I hooked them with the rake). Do you know how much fun it is to try to wash off an electronic car key and the "fob" that has all of the buttons for your doors and trunk and so on? Not that it worked right before...

By that point my kids had That Look* on their face and I was grumbling in one continuous stream as I walked back out the door (with my sunglasses). Do you see why I was afraid to take the highway to work?

*Something like "Duck, run for cover, she's headed this way."

It's going to be a long week, kiddies.

Sunday, September 07, 2008

OohAhhOhh

Our fireworks guys never fail me. One time they set the nearby woods on fire, then another time they got their truck stuck.

Tonight they had to settle for one not-quite- exploded shell drifting down (into the river) and one of the parachutes with burning parts that dangle below it landing on a boat.

Kind of a letdown.


Carly(via Blackberry)

Bored

Bored bored have to stay here until 8 for the fireworks. Hmmmph.


Carly(via Blackberry)

THAT

is a big dog, daddy (apologies to Toby Keith)


Carly(via Blackberry)

Oh, the music

Did I startle you? I know, you're used to me being quiet, and all.

Sorry, I was wandering along through some of the blogs I check out. I came across one that had Playlist embedded and just experimented with it a little. (It's waaaaaaaaaay down there at the bottom of my page, because that's where it fit.)

So I picked out a few songs I've bought recently on iTunes and put it on shuffle. The ultimate definition of random music sampling. Don't know how long I'll leave it on here, I have a sneaking feeling it's just one more thing to maintain, another habit that will seem fun at first and then slide away into reality.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

He's out there somewhere, waiting

I was home alone most of the day, and at one point I opened up the front door. On the screen there was this giant motherfucker of a waspy sort of bug, three inches long or so plus a BIG stinger. No lie.

I tried to flick him off the screen and he seemed to look over one shoulder (wing?) and laugh at me.

I flicked multiple times, to no avail. I stood there wondering how to get this giant thing to go away and then knealt down and blew really hard at him through the screen. Annoyed now, he sort of fluttered down on to my porch step, but he shook his stinger around while he was moving, just to remind me who was actually in control here. He landed RIGHT below my front door. I could see him if I looked down & out through the screen.

SO now I had a dillemma. "Open the door and stomp him", the voice in my head was saying. "But what if I miss?" I asked the Other voice. "You won't miss. Just do it" the voice insisted. But Other was louder.

I sulked out to the garage and found a spray can of something that promised to kill flying bugs and wasps and whatnot. I snuck back to the front door and looked down to make sure he was still here. I opened the door far enough to blast him, then I went to the sink to wash my hands.

I grabbed my blackberry to take a picture, and when I got back to the door he was gone.

I'm screwed. He's out there waiting for me somewhere. He's probably mutated by now and is as big as my head. He'll carry me away and sting me eleventy billion times.

Perfect way to start the day

I found a piece of glass today. Yes, I stepped on it. Is there any other way?

Dammit.

Yesterday at work was worse than the day before and my one remaining lunch buddy who wasn't on vacation made the mistake of saying "are you ok?" which of course made me cry... awkward much? Oy. Then right after they went off to lunch without me because I had a meeting, the person I was supposed to meet with rescheduled. Not that I'd have been great company. Hmmph.

Check out Melody Gardot. She was in People magazine because of the challenges life has tossed at her (wiki), and so for a brief moment she was in the iTunes top sales lists. But at the end of the day, whether I buy a song isn't about the inspiring story of the person, or how pretty they are - if I don't want to listen to it on my ipod with my eyes closed to block out other people/ things, I'm not clicking "buy". And I clicked. SO I'm going to go listen now.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

I give up

Another day of work like today just might be the end of me. Then it won't be a question of whether I get laid off or have to try to find another job. I'll just implode on myself, like one of those buildings that are rigged with miles and miles of cable so that they collapse, inward. That little pile of dust there? Oh, that was Carly.

I am tired of trying to keep clients happy when I know we won't get their work done in a million years. I am tired of dealing with the quirks of giant corporate America - the meaningless training that you must complete, the bureaucratic red tape that must be clawed through over and over. Today I had to deal with a client who wanted to submit a formal work request document for funding because he thinks that will pressure our group to assign a resource that we just don't have available to assign to him. And he was the lesser of the two difficult clients I had to wrangle today. The other one was annoyed because Bride and Groom are out for two weeks and they worked on his database and now they're AWOL in his eyes.... but they don't want him to know they got married, because it's their private buisines, and so I had to come up with a phrase like "Unavoidable personal circumstances" to explain why they're both out. At the same time. For two weeks. Without telling him first. I should put a bow on that email and put it in their card. I hate to be bitter and begrudge anyone their honeymoon, especially since I had such a blast at their wedding. So I took one for the team, and it really sucked and I'm having a big old pout about it.

I also had to deal with the mail server going down and marking all 383 items in my inbox as "new" on the failover copy. It was up and down more than Hugh Heffner. And there is no one there anymore, to laugh at my stupid jokes, or make ME laugh with a corny joke, or go grab a slice of pizza with, or share a news story about something other than Sarah Freaking Palin (who looks like a slutty librarian to me, I'm sorry).

And everyone here hates everyone here for doing just like they do
It's best if we all keep this quiet instead
And I couldn't tell, why everyone here was doing me like they do
But I'm sorry now, and I don't know how to get it back to good

And then the dog bit her

My daughter was SO out of sorts today. (Our first day of school...)

Her "Friend" stopped by this morning and with that on top of the dental pain she was already almost in tears.*

The new skirt that fit fine last night was deemed WAY TOO LOOSE and so she wedged on an old one (over the shorts she & her friends all wear because of skirt flippers). I convinced her to put the other one on because, you know, breathing is important and all of that.

Then I noticed that despite our school now allowing navy polo shirts (embroidered with logo) she was STILL wearing a tank top under her shirt. Gawd, the kids in 3 layers and it's gonna be 85 today. I ignored "I'm not getting changed again" and wrangled her down to almost a normal amount of clothing.

There were tears about food. She had to eat scrambled eggs for breakfast (soft soft soft foods.... gaaaaaaaah). "I'm going to bring a muffin and fruit for lunch and they'll laugh at me and say I'm too thin again." (bitches...and I'm sorry, it's the chunky ones who rag on her the most. Lay off the cookies, and my kid. Seriously. )

Such a happy face in the annual "first day of school" photo. Aiyeeeee. I haven't even left for work yet and I'm EXHAUSTED, I tell you!


*yes, some day she will kill me for discussing her cycle on the internet. I'm sorry Baby!!!

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

The lint trap



  • The photo - Love it (click to enlarge, it makes more sense)
  • My ultra conservative friend emailing me a joke about ransom for kidnappers threatening burning Obama (but haha, everyone's donating gas and not ransom money... KKK much? this is going to be a long autumn, I'm surrounded by people I just don't think I agree with) ... hate it
  • Coors lite only 5 carbs and not 8 - does this mean I can have 3 and not two? kidding... I am trying very hard to get back on track
  • Sending my braces kid to school with a "lunch" consisting of pudding and donuts because of strict mushy food orders... oh, that will win me points, since *I* was the one who wrote up and conducted the survey to improve our lunch program... love it
  • Endless droning of the conventions... hate it... am I unAmerican? it's all posturing and b.s.

Discordant

I went over to sing at the priest's funeral service this morning.

I worked from home; my plan was to use that time as my lunch break; the service ended being longer than I thought, which meant I had to try to work a little longer this afternoon. I'm having a hard time with work lately because I feel like I am the icy hostess fending off hungry diners at a restaurant: Nope, sorry, no service for you sir. We don't have a table(programmer) for you. When? Maybe an hour(three months). No, I know it's been an hour(close to a year since your initial request). In another hour (three months) we MIGHT have a table(programmer) for you.

So, it goes well, as you can imagine.

But I was there this morning and we sang and I sang well (there were a total of four women and two men so it's good I was there....the hymns we did are beautiful, but I felt anxious about getting home to make sure my kids were ok and deal with work things)

The thing I didn't expect about today's mass was the 14 priests officiating. I mean, I expected the Bishop to be there (late...) and all, but not the 14 priests on the altar. Or the 24 OTHER priests in the first 3 rows.

There was one moment that I enjoyed; I did like the song all of those priests sang at the very end. Along the lines of "Thou shalt forever be a priest"... a chant of some sort. Very moving.

Of course when I thought the service was over I went down the spiral staircase intending to slip out the side door... only to see that entire stairway and sidewalk lined with most of the 40 priests. Crap crap crap. No way was I going to walk that gauntlet and have that many holy people (I forgot to mention the two nuns) examine the state of my soul all at once (they have x ray vision or something to spot a sinner, don't they??)

I ducked to the other side JUST before they brought the casket out of the center aisle. I managed to stop and stand in what I hoped was a respectful manner just outside the door of the church I was heading toward. Gah. At least I was dressed nicely in black slacks and not the tshirt and jeans I wore yesterday (no one sees us in the choir loft)

Finally he was gone and I made my getaway.... whew.

Don't know why my brain wasn't working around this event, (Expect family members. Expect other priests to attend) or why the open casket STILL made me want to run away in terror. It's not like I haven't seen too many open caskets lately. Also don't know why I'm beating myself up about my peculiar reaction to this all. Going to try to bike tonight and move past it.

Keep NieNie in your thoughts

cjanerun

if you follow Stephanie & Christian's recovery through Jane's blog, you will often find beautiful, eloquent reminders to stop and think and appreciate the life that we have, simple and complicated all at the same time.

Yesterday I didn't really have much to do at lunchtime. The newlyweds are off all week and so many of my other friends are gone now. I feel like a kid who's in the middle of that "losing my baby teeth" stage. There are some that slip away, and it's not so bad, but there are some that leave a deeper, raw gap, and you know you shouldn't, but you just keep noticing the empty space and poking at it. Why do we do things like this to ourselves? (Dwell on things we can't change, and so on...)

SO with that kind of pity party going on I needed to think about someone else for a while; I bought a postcard and sent it to NieNie. (The address is on Jane's blog...) I guess I was in a funk about how slowly the day was dragging after all of the fun I had this weekend.

I hate to see the summer go...

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Technically he did actually wait for me

Preface: I guess I'm evil or something, right? I will certainly be despised for this post if the wrong people read it but aieeeee, I just can't help what I feel. This is me, who I am, love it or leave it. Your loss if you go.

It was a horrible braces day. When I got home I heard discontent about bottom brackets and a thing that was supposed to hold her mouth open but broke in her mouth (fck!) and they were mean and didn't explain things today and she choked on the water when they were polishing her teeth and she stopped choking and they didn't even say are-you-o-k. Tears and sobs. Mental note: check for PMS before making these appointments. No lie. Sweet mother of pearl.

I was trying to be patient and sympathetic and loving and motherly but a little voice inside was saying "Ohmygod there's a dead priest laid out over at church and I have to get over there to sing by 4pm."

My stomach only hurts now if I'm late for something, like work. Or singing at a special service that I promised I'd be at, on very short notice.

Then I got home from singing (still reeling from "ohmygod they opened the coffin and I'm an idiot because of course they opened the coffin down there where I could look down into it but he was.... dead.... lying there in his white robes in the red fabric") and a quick trip to the market* and she was sobbing again.

A bracket thingie popped off her tooth. Sliding around on the wires. Wheeee. It wasn't quite as bad as that timeshe cracked a ring eating oreos and came screaming to me with the thing hanging in black goo.

But still. I had to be back at church by 7 so Mr. had to handle this call to the orthodontist too. They called back and calmed her down and she's going back tomorrow... when I'll be at church singing old latin to the corpse again (or having a nervous breakdown, don't know which...)

* rotisserie chicken - where have you been all my life? Not even kidding.

Monday, September 01, 2008

Weekend wrapup.

So, Friday I had my friend from "PTA" over. We haven't seen each other in a couple of months and it was wonderful to hang out. (I blogged the food already since this weekend was ALL about food and drink. But did I mention her daughter's million dollar cookies? mmmmmm.)

Saturday, Suzy and I went to TK's wedding. MUCH fun. Fantastic food of all sorts. We stayed over at the hotel. She went up around midnight but I got to sleep just about 3:30 Sunday morning. Later after we checked out I treated myself to breakfast in the hotel before going home, to market, cooking, etc.

Hung out at the neighborhood block party, swam (aka semi-napped in a lounge chair in the pool) and ate MORE FOOD and had beers, until around 9, then wandered up the street to my house to go through the 200 photos I took at the wedding (crop, edit, or delete as needed...). I wouldn't ordinarily be SUCH a camera pest, but I took a lot of candids of our coworkers for the bride, and she encouraged me to keep going after hours. Also there were a few people there who I won't be working with anymore so I wanted to be sure to have photographs of them with me, for myself. Effing outsourcing.

Today was the family party(an early birthday party for my kids whose dates are later this month, and OH MY GOD IT'S SEPTEMBER.) It's really something when my mother pats me kindly on the arm in sympthy as she's ducking out early... I was at my wit's end. We won these clamsteam dinners in a raffle, and they weren't at all what I thought they'd be like (some really weird gray sausages in the sacks, which I don't think anyone actually ate....) but in the end everyone liked them, they were boiling hot and the clams were great and the chicken was tender and I did have plenty of other salads and that type of food, so that was all fine in the end. But there were some spots this afternoon where I thought I'd just get in the car and go somewhere nice and quiet and hide, or at least go down the street and take a swim.

I love tiny babies, but I have very definite opinions on (how) they should be watched and so on. So the internal monologue fights to get out, but has no business being said. Aiyeeeee.

Tired... going to sleeps... have to work tomorrow and leave early to sing for a priest (affiliated with our parish) who passed away. Four pm, 7 pm, and also the funeral the next day. TIRED. Planning now for that delicious sleep-in that I'll have Saturday morning.