Rough rough morning

I am late almost every day for work. (I need to be more thankful that it doesn't matter, because I don't punch a clock. But I'm late for the time that I'm aiming for.) If I am running late for work, I get frustrated, just like anyone. The later I get, the more I get tweaked out.

This morning was exponentially high on the "awful Monday" scale.

I was still cooking eggs this morning for Toothy Grin, and that went off fairly well until I tried to put a little thing of spreadable butter back into the fridge. Dropped it, picked it up, dropped it, the lid popped off, arrrgh. Washed the lid, (because of course it dropped butter side down) dropped the towel on the floor, stepped on it, so help me dear Lord, please just let me go to work.

I went out to my car with too many things in my hands and forgot my sunglasses. Then I sent Kid2 in for them, and started cleaning out my car, because it had some empty drink cups and so on cluttering it up. That was when I managed to drop my car keys into our garbage can. Gross. It's one of those really big ones that the automated trucks lift and dump. So I tried to grab a rake to "fish" for them because no way was Momma going to lean into that giant can given the day I was having, (and it's almost as tall as me). I would have been ass over teakettle in no time, my legs flailing around and my head buried in last night's dinner scraps. I mean really, can't you just imagine it? Be sure to imagine MANY little punctuation signs over the garbage can because I'd be swearing like crazy.

The rake that I reached for knocked over something else, which knocked over a spray plastic bottle of weed killer. The neck of THAT bottle snappped and started leaking, um, poison everywhere. Fck fck fck.

So I fished my keys out, and went in the house to wash off the long lanyard I keep them on (thank goodness, that's how I hooked them with the rake). Do you know how much fun it is to try to wash off an electronic car key and the "fob" that has all of the buttons for your doors and trunk and so on? Not that it worked right before...

By that point my kids had That Look* on their face and I was grumbling in one continuous stream as I walked back out the door (with my sunglasses). Do you see why I was afraid to take the highway to work?

*Something like "Duck, run for cover, she's headed this way."

It's going to be a long week, kiddies.