Baseball game

hot summer evening

"A" league team

young girl earnestly sings the national anthem

sweat rolling down my temples

hot dog and a soda

seats way up the first base line

late afternoon sun is relentless

our little league team parades around the field

pictures of my boy with the mascot

buy myself a beer

the home team's losing

the boy gets an autograph - visiting team, doesn't matter

chat with the other moms

dragonfly almost lands on my foot

sun sets

final score 10-0

Change of Plans

Being that I don't have to go to work, the plan for today was:

1. swimming
2. swimming
3. more swimming

the plan is now apparently:

1. complain about rain
2. rent movies
3. clean the house (oh, the horror....)

Happy Birthday Sue

....my sister, who may or may not even read this blog, LOL

I will die in a supermarket

... of that I am certain.

If you missed this this and this you won't get the full effect but here is today's chapter.

This is what I did:

1. Go to market.
2. Get stuff to fill cart while kids are generally whining and complaining (tired, sunburned, have to go to the bathroom, no I want this kind of juice, blah blah blah...)
3. Drive home past bank sign which is so wrong it's a town joke, but sign says 100 degrees
4. Walk inside, unlock door, etc.
5. Decide since it's SO hot I'll take off my shoes, the ones that I always trip in when I'm walking at lunchtime, and put on flip flops
6. Walk outside and start to empty trunk
7. Pick up bag, which stupid stockboys have shoved full of stuff
8. Fail to notice as bag rips
9. Notice completly, when 22 oz can of spray starch crashes down onto my toe, (now NAKED, because I'm wearing flip flops) and the can of course hits justright and the rolled metal (thank God) edge on the very bottom of the can cuts said toe as it can inflict even MORE pain that way.
10. Swear a-plenty. Cry some.
11. Bandage toe which is bleeding profusely.
12. Consider calling store to complain.
13. Open Coors Light instead.

Dammit.

Here's to the class of '05

I went to a graduation party for a girl who babysat for me, two summers ago. She watched the kids for me 3 days a week while I was at work. They loved her.

It's no surprise to me that she was salutatorian of her class. She's smart, and works hard. When she watched my kids, they got up, made their beds right after breakfast, and the house was always cleaned up when I got home. They did dishes, worked on a little workbook stuff now and then, and just generally kept busy doing useful things. I would have her work for me every summer, but she knew even then she wanted to be a pharmacist, and she works in the local pharmacy while she gets ready to go to college for the same this fall.

It was miserably hot here today - at least 95. Blah!!! We finally left the party around 7 and went to my inlaw's house which is very close by. My daughter was making such a big production about how "I'm too scared" to jump into the pool that after 15 minutes of "I'm going to jump I'm about to jump I can't do it" I finally got disgusted with the whole thing and pushed her in. Yes I did. What?? Mr. C was right there and it was NOT the deep end.

I'd love to say she happily jumped in over and over after that.... hah! I know that by the end of summer she will though.

It occurred to me recently that my daughter is not going to wear the same school uniform anymore. The little girls wear a little jumper over a blouse, and the bigger girls wear a different kind of shirt, with a pleated plaid skirt. She's growing up so fast. The moodiness is starting (what's wrong? nothing...) One of the kindergarten teachers told B that she should be a teacher because many times at recess (after lunch) she would volunteer to go down to help supervise the kindergarteners at their recess. It's supposed to rotate through all of the class but most of the other girls just wanted to play dodgeball with ....the boys.

I am looking forward to her graduation and dreading it all at once. It is 8 years away but I know that I'll turn around and it will be here. I can only hope and dream that she will turn out as wonderful as the girl we celebrated with today. And so I will push her into the pool when I think she needs it, because I want her to learn how to take a chance and see exactly how much she can do.

Ho Ho this

A very annoying person who shall not be named pointed out to me today that "Six months from today is Christmas!"

Are you effing kidding me? Shut up.

I have to order uniforms for next year for my kids for school, return their books from this year to a different school (because that's how it works sometimes when you go to a Catholic school), deal with teeth that need to be removed, get new glasses for at least one kid, buy school supplies plus new lunchboxes and backpacks and help with summer reading assignments.... that's all just before September first and that's not even the FUN stuff we want to do!

(Great Escape(six flags), Camping(in a cabin thank you), trip to Statue of Liberty, parasailing on Lake George with my crazy brother in law, assorted random trips to pools at friends & relatives, a trip to the local baseball park, movies, mini golfing, and various other adventures )

The fall will be packed full with the birthdays of me, Mr C., both my kids, AND my brother in law is expecting a new baby ...

So I don't want to think about Christmas, because there's a chance I could move to a new house by then. Or not..... who knows. Let's not wish away the entire rest of the year, when I'm just at the front door of Summer, eh?

High Roller

Going to a casino is fun. Blinky lights, bells, throwing away all your damn money in stupid machi......

Ahem.

Well the ladies I work with planned a girl's night out and we all went to the casino near here last night. It's technically not a REAL casino, it is a racino, which means you can play slots and bet on fixed horse races but you can't play real card games at a table or dice, roulette, etc.

I think T was making fun of me a good portion of the night but A) I didn't have to watch my kids who are bouncing off the walls now that school's out and B) she bought me beers, so I'm fine with that.

One woman sitting next to me while I was playing a $5 slot machine (oh, kidding, it was nickels but you all know that) was driving me really crazy because every time I'd spin, she'd look over to see how I was doing. What up, bitch, do you want to press the button for me? (hahaha as if I'd ever say that to anyone, I'm a total wimp)

We actually brought along a guy we work with as our designated driver, and he was really nice about it. As you can imagine not many men are cut out to be the only guy taken along on a ladies night out but he was very cool about it. He doesn't drink at all and we all really like him so he is the perfect DD. This being a good idea was reinforced by a gruesome sort of accident we saw being cleaned up on the way home. So when you party, always bring a guy like D.

It is going to be about a billion degrees here today, so I am off to the pool. Adios!

School's out for summer....

...which means today I am not "at" work, so I am weeding, rinsing the green out of my little fountain(d'oh), and generally trying to make the inside of the house look like I actually do clean it once in a while.

Clicking through the channels of my mind

click:

Well today's CAKE meeting wasn't nearly as fun as the other one, but we did have someone suddenly shouting "Shut up! SHUT UP!" in the middle of the meeting. It was apparent he was Shutting Up a dog, but still Oh, So Awkward.

Our meeting coordinator said in a very professional tone, "Just a reminder, if you are not asking a question, please be sure your phone is muted". The Shouter immediately replied in a sheepish voice, "Oh.... I'm not muted, am I?" which was a hell of a lot funnier than it sounds right now.

Of course, you couldn't hear anyone laughing, because WE were all MUTED!

click:

baseball... almost over... I swear to what-ever that if my son does not leave the cup alone I will go out there on the field and take it out of his shorts right there. Dammit.

The coach, AKA the Guy Who Looks Like Old Billy Joel was there, yes. He commented on the fact that we managed threeeeeeeeeeee innings in 2 hours.

click:

I tried a new cookie, Pepperidge Farm Whims, which are basically good enough that you will eat all five servings at once. But you need milk, they're crunchy. Do Not Grocery Shop While Hungry!! These are never coming into my house again.

click:

Right by the window outside of Johnny's cube is a great place to have a cell phone conversation. The reception there is awesome.

Question of the day (night)

There are days when I have a really hard time winding down and going to sleep, even though I am tired and I know I have to get up early for work. This is one of those days.

(I'm switching to my summer schedule this week. It's 3 full days a week instead of 5 half days. So tomorrow will be a VERY long day and there will be some chaos in my house this week as school lurches to a stop and I try to figure out what I can make for dinner in between D's last baseball games. )


If you could be invisible, where would you go?

You are not allowed to use the following, as they are my answers:

• my kid's school so I could make sure no one was picking on them, and see what their personalities are really like when Mom is not hovering over them
• the Yankee's locker room, post-game (shallow, yes, but equal parts honesty)
• follow Dubya around all day to see what he's really up to
• the O.R. during a heart transplant, because it would be amazing to watch even though I'm a bit squeamish when it comes to that type of thing... no one would notice me when I passed out, since I'd be invisible
• backstage at the Oscars to see what all of the celebs are really like

ok, I can't think of any more, because I am tired (does this mean this blog entry puts even ME to sleep? Uh oh......)

Father's Day

Well, let's see

• shopping for a card went about as well as shopping for a Mother's day card. (which, if you're a new reader, means "not very well at all" because there are no cards that say "I'm sorry we're not very close and I know you worked your ass of all of those night shifts and I *AM* grateful for all you did to provide for me but I feel like I barely know you" The cards I see all talk about how "You've always been there with advice or to lend a helping hand" and that's just not in my scrapbook.)
• my son left his Father's day present at school. There were tears. I had a gift (a DVD, about the Yankees) that I swapped in but he was still very despondent.
• it never occurred to me to do "breakfast for dad in bed" .....oops.

Well, at least the weather was nice.

Habib the Lotto guy

So, my co workers and I throw in two bucks each every Friday and we buy lottery tickets.

Last summer we were off our usual path and I walked into this little gas station and Habib sold me my tickets. He was, well, a little bit too friendly for my liking, to say the least.

As he was taking my money, he said "You are very pretty lady". I blinked, and said "um, thank you" in what I thought was a neutral, polite tone. This somehow conveyed my deep love for him I suppose, because his next remark was "If you win this money I will make you my wife."

Hello??

I replied "Well, I'm already married." He replied "It doesn't matter." Ok, bye bye Habib. Time for me to go.

The really creepy, um, interesting part was that as I was walking out the door, he was suddenly riiiiiiiight behind me. Good thing for me was that I was with my friends, and the guy driving was right in front of the door waiting for me, and so I basically jumped into the back seat of the truck and said "floor it, willya?"

The people in my department still tease me about it now & then.

I wonder how I would have liked being part of his harem.

Daylight savings time

I came home today and found a great big fat Fall Catalog monopolizing the space in my mailbox. I tried to order a few short sleeve shirts online the other day from one of my favorite places and one after another was on backorder. Even the stores in the mall have all of the summer items 50% off and they're all picked over.

This just won't do.


My kids still have a week left of school. Summer tutoring needs to be arranged. I haven't even started my summer hours at work.

Summer can't be over yet!

I have big plans for this summer. Getaways. Adventures, large and small. Baseball games and mini golf and a camping weekend and trips to the water park.

Looking at this catalog I feel like it's labor day weekend and the sand has already slipped through the hourglass. You know, that sinking feeling you have when you've gone back to school shopping and everything that shut down for the summer is ready to resume.

This catalog is SO going into the recycling bin.

Right after...

I just...

flip through it

a little bit.

Customer MisService, part 99

So today I called about my debit card problem because the stupid thing still would not Give. Me. Money.

(I waited in vain for a few days thinking a new PIN might be mailed to me, thinking that might be the issue. Nada.)

I called our 1-800 number and dealt with a charming woman (not) who tried to tell me that I was probably using the wrong PIN, but they didn't issue me a new pin. I repeated "I'm using the same pin that I used to use with my other card" more than once. "But we didn't give you a new pin."

WTF??

"No, I'm trying to use the old pin that I have always used with the card. Your clerks said it would still work with this new card and it doesn't."

She would reply that they didn't change the pin so I was probably typing the wrong PIN. I said very bluntly, "I know what my pin is and I have had the same pin for years so I am quite positive that I know how to type it. I tried more than once."

THEN she told me some nonsense about how her card wasn't really working yesterday, and I should try again, to which I replied "I just tried it now and it is not working". Then we had to dance through the "you might not have the right pin but we didn't give you a new one" smoke and mirrors again. Phone rage, all the way.

Finally a solution came to me and I said through gritted teeth "Would you please just reset my pin? I know that you can do that because that's what I ended up doing the LAST time I needed a new card."

She advised me that she was setting it to 1234 and that I should go and pick this option, that one, yada yada to reset it.

I went down to the ATM in our building and the guy with the money and the gun was there with the atm all opened up. "I'm going to be here a while". So help me. I think I could take him.

Walk away quietly, think about bunnies and woodchucks.

Three rabbits and a woodchuck

.... are in my backyard right now.

I know there's a joke in there somewhere, but I just can't quite find it.

Happy is

floating on your back, motionless, eyes closed, thinking about your favorite person, and opening your eyes and seeing a little sliver of the moon, white in the bright blue sky, and knowing that just maybe they are looking up at that same slice of moon and thinking of you too

Not da Momma

I didn't exactly bat 1000 as a Mommy this weekend.I had to work most of the day Saturday and I missed my son's first home run, ever. I missed his first soccer goal too, once upon a time.

I used to say that if I missed my baby's first steps, or first words, or whatever, because I was at work, then their "first" one with me was what counted. But this just sucks.

I also managed to let my daughter get VERY sunburned shoulders in our neighbor's pool this afternoon. It was cloudy, dammit! I feel like a schmuck.

On the upside, I did manage to find a GOOD sitter for this summer. Good thing because we only have 8 days of school left, ya know? Really got down to the wire this year.

Annoying is...

getting to the register, with $200 of groceries that stupid teenage boys cram into bags, whipping out the replacement debit card that two clerks ASSURED me would not need a different PIN, and then having the card declined. Good thing I have more plastic.

Why does customer service suck so much in this country? Does anyone care about doing a job right? If I take a bag of crackers out of the bag you put the huge bottle of laundry detergent in, and snap at you about it getting crushed, why would you cram it in the bag with all my bread, and think that would make me happy?

Do I need to have a neon sign over my head warning you that I am unstable today because I'm FREAKING MELTING IN THIS DAMN HUMIDITY? Can't you just look at me and see it, boy??

I should be floating in a pool right now. Help!!!

Funny

Free Katie

not that I would buy any of this, but he has gone completely out of his mind.

Run, Katie, run!

Backdrop Nazi

I have an old friend (we've known each other since 5th grade so she turns 40 this year too bahahahaha) and she is a photographer. Every year she does portraits at the dress rehearsal for a dance recital.

I get to be the person who takes the half-filled out envelopes and deciphers them (only some of the dance numbers get group portraits but some girls are in more than one number and they want their portrait in one dress and their group shot in another and then siblings add a whole new wrinkle because mom wants a picture of them together.)

But my favorite part is that I get to be the backdrop Nazi. As in "I'm sorry, it's our policy that we don't allow parents to take pictures with their own cameras on our backdrops". You know, the parents who wait for the goup shot to be arranged and then step up RIGHT NEXT to the photographer.

I had at least six women TOTALLY get pissy with me. For some strange reason it amuses the hell out of me. I just point out the following:

• the kids don't know who to look at
• the flash can mess up our exposure which is metered based on the two professional lights our photographers set up.
• this is how the photographers earn their living
• it's not fair to the parents who DO pay for the professional portraits - this one really gets them. Yes, you ARE stealing, actually. Hey -do I walk into YOUR office and take stuff?

One lady went on and on about how someone else did it and this isn't fair. I pointed out the poster listing our policy which was taped to the table RIGHT in front of her. (She actually came back an hour later an apolgized to me)

The best one was someone who wanted to snap a group shot and she whined at me "but I did pay for some pictures already". Yeah, lady, whenever I buy a car I want another one free. Mmm hmm.

Ta dah

Well I had no problem getting my router and my OWN laptop working, just fine.

But of course my employer has given me a laptop with a wireless card that is NOT enabled. (If you're keeping score, that's the real point of this adventure... to "work" from my deck when I have to participate in something this Saturday and other days I'll be at home this summer with my kids.) Don't you know, I don't have administrator priviledges to my own PC so I can't enable it myself. However, one of my favorite people has hooked me up and hopefully all will be right in bit-land tomorrow.

Well, as right as it can be when it's a warm sunny day and you want to be in your cute neighbor's pool.

Here goes nothing

I bought a wireless router and other goodies and I'm going to try to set it all up. (Bahaha. So, in otherwords, park in front of my house and you'll get free service for a while.)

I love to dance

The concert was so great. I can't even explain.

Yes, I'm almost 40, but I still love standing five feet from the stage and dancing non-stop for 3 hours in a crowd of people who are dancing right along with me.

Highlight: the one and only slow song, New York State of Mind. The sax player was outstanding (but not as cute as the trumpet player, but that's another topic altogether.)

Is there a Hallmark card for this?

The last few days brought me a variety of adventures with my son.

On the one hand, he's definitely NOT a little boy anymore. He's somewhere in that nebulous "big kid" zone. He plays baseball this summer, not T-ball. This weekend he wore a cup for the first time. It was just one of those episodes that leaves me shaking my head.... first, Mr. C was showing him what it was, at the kitchen table. Um, well, no one was eating or anything but still, ewwwww. D was dropping his shorts within sight of the open front door and I stood there, announcing to no one in particular "We have neighbors...." Then D put the darn thing in upside down, which if you're a clueless girl like me is really funny because I never knew that one end is kinda pointy, but whatever, I was trying to leave the whole scene so that he wouldn't see that I was laughing at him.

He's definitely not all grown up yet though. Yesterday we had really horrible storms (there was a lot of damage to trees at my favorite park. Huge limbs just torn apart.)

My son is petrified of thunderstorms. The school secretary pretty much called and said "maybe you should come get him" because there were tornado warnings, and last year during a thunderstorm he wouldn't even walk out to the bus until his teacher held his hand and coaxed him out. She was really sweet about it, and when she was out on maternity leave she called one day so that the substitute would know that there was a storm on the way and that Dan would need reassurance.

Back to yesterday, he was much better with this storm. I had the tv on because of the warnings and he was looking at it and not very happy. So I told him to go watch cartoons in my room, which helped until the front started coming through and the power went out. Oopsie. He sat on my lap for a while, upset but not really crying.

About an hour later when the storm was done I left the room and when I came back he was lying on the floor. At first I thought he had actually passed out or something because he didn't answer me, but then I realized he was exhausted by the stress and had fallen asleep.

So, he went to bed for a while and that bit me on the backside later, because this was at 4:30, so at his actual bedtime he wanted NO part of sleeping. Just my luck, there were more storms, much smaller but he could see the lightning and he was crying in his room. He ended up in my bed with me which bumped Mr. C to his bed (he was none too pleased but he sleeps right through the alarm, so I figured we'd never get up on time today.) I was up at least until midnight just from that. Then he kicked me every hour or so, squirmed around, and snored this annoying little cute snore. Shut up! Go away! just might have crossed my mind.

So today I am extra tired, which is a bummer because I am going to see the Burners play tonight. Give them a listen, (Car Wash is pretty good to get a sample of this group)

On deck for this weekend - he's going to a birthday party with LAZER TAG.... I wonder if the grownups get to play too? I could use a nice laser around the office some days.

I burn for you

Soleil,

what's the deal? I missed you terribly this winter. I pleaded with you to return. I was thrilled to see you again.

I spent those two hours with you willingly yesterday. I didn't realize you'd be so close to me at my son's baseball game. Oh, I noticed you right away. I knew I was in trouble the second I arrived, because you were already there. I couldn't escape you.

Now I am in PAIN. How could you do this to me? I can barely move my arms. They look like individual lobsters. My nose? Well, Rudolph would be proud. And explain to me how, if you're a million miles away, my knees burn but not the rest of my legs? Like, do my kneecaps stick out THAT much???

But your best achievement? Outlining the large blue stone pendant that I was wearing. We have a sense of humor, don't we?

Tomorrow JV will laugh at me at work. It's all your fault, Soleil.

Miracle Boys

Miracle Boys is a blog by a Mom who attends the scrapbook workshops when I volunteer at the NICU.

Please visit her and give her some support - she's wonderful.

Lazy circles in the sky

I was talking to my boss last week and I looked out the window behind her and saw a pair of hawks circling and soaring. Now, you have to know that my boss is so cool, I said "Look, hawks" and she immediately stopped what we were talking about, just to look for minute. There was a little bird defending its nest and the hawks were dipping and soaring and trying to get to it.

Hawks always remind me of a wonderful afternoon I spent one summer.

I was seeing this guy Bill and one day we went off to a local state park. We found a shady spot under a tree, spread out a blanket, and just simply let the afternoon pass. For a couple of hours we didn't have a care in the world.

Bill had managed to find a quiet spot with a great view of some hills and trees and sky. It was perfect weather, nice and warm but a good breeze floating over us pretty often. We had lunch, listened to Journey on the car stereo, and talked about everything, and sometimes we just looked at the clouds together and said nothing. A few minutes would go by, one of us would say something, and the other would be laughing in no time. At one point when we were in the middle of a heart-to-heart on one topic I was in tears, and he wrapped me up in a giant hug until some of the sadness passed, and then made a remark that showed me he really did know exactly what I was talking about. I was pretty darn content to stay right there oh, I don't know, forever perhaps. Actually, I have to admit that I wish I was there right now. It was that perfect.

There is a Journey song that sums it all up. It's called Stay Awhile.

I'd do anything to hold you.

I'd go anywhere to touch you.

I'd do anything you want me to,

If you'll just stay with me awhile.

I'd sing any song your heart desires.

I would sing out loud of love's sweet fires.

Oo, I'd do all this and so much more.

If you'll just stay with me awhile.

Reach out your hand,

Oh, to me.

Oh, I'm fallin'

One minute more,

I'm fallin'

I'm fallin'

Oh, oh, fallin', fallin', fallin', fallin'

Won't you just stay with me awhile?

No one in the world sings like Steve Perry.

When we had to leave, the truck wouldn't start, because we'd been there for hours listening to the radio. He turned the key and all we heard was clicka clicka clicka. Ooopsie. I thought it was amusing. Wasn't mad at all. Bill was very apologetic but I said over and over "It's FINE, really!" because it was, and I was waiting for him to see that it really was a little bit funny. (He did, later.)

He jogged off to find someone to jump start the battery and while I waited I saw a group of hawks. One by one they went soaring by - it seemed like there was an assembly line sending out one after another from one group of trees. I watched them circle and glide, my own private viewing courtesy of Mother Nature. It was so beautiful.

Life is not always logical, and we did not end up married, darn it. But I've learned in my life to never say never, because for all I know someday when I'm 80 I'll be in Vegas with my sister and there he'll be. I will be sure to snap him up should I have the chance.

Goodnight Bill, I still love you.

Play that funky music

There are many people who are happily child-free. I truly believe that in some cases this is absolutely what they want. However, sometimes I wonder if they have any idea what they're missing....

Today I left work (if you're wondering, I still don't have access to that document that I'm supposed to update) and went to see my kid play clarinet in the school's band concert.

Picture this if you will. The building used to be a small church (before the new, bigger church was put up a hundred years or so ago) and now they use it for a gym/auditorium. It's basically a big oven today. Three hundred wiggly sweaty kids. Most watching, about 25 playing in the band. Teachers, parents of the band members, and a smattering of grandparents.

There must be some molecular change that takes place in your brain when you become a parent. At least for me, because I honestly DID enjoy that band performance. All 15 minutes of it. We're talking Hot Cross Buns and exciting stuff like that, played at a labored pace. But damn if it wasn't cute to see 275 kids belting out "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" while their friends in the band played the song.

So you can keep doing whatever it is you child-free people do with your abundance of free time. Enjoy, really. As for me, I'm going to grab a quick lunch, and race out of work with minutes to spare and todo lists undone, to go and listen to my kid play the clarinet not quite in tune, every chance I get.

Isn't it Friday yet?

Why do short weeks seem longer? You know, when you don't go to work Monday. Then you spend all day Tuesday thinking it is Monday, and doing Monday's work along with Tuesday's.
By the time Wednesday comes, you barely know what day it is, but it certainly isn't Friday.

I basically lost an hour today on a document I am supposed to update but can't. I don't have the access. I CAN'T SEE IT IN THE SYSTEM. Yet, I am In Trouble for not updating it. Emails have gone out. A scold-y one to me, with a CC: to my boss and her boss. Beautiful. Lucky for me, yesterday I told her I can't see it, and that I am leaving voicemails for Document Guy. I left him one yesterday. So he left me one today. So I left him one and called a second time for good measure. Then he called me back and I did 8 searches (name, keyword, etc) to convince him that I Can Not See It In The System. Then he sent an email to HIS boss telling her I can not see the document. Do you see that this is why I love my job?

Crazy for You

Can't we all relate to this?

Love makes fools of us all but scientists believe that it could be mistaken for psychosis.

Scientists have for the first time produced brain scans of people in the first stages of love and those who have been rejected. From these images they concluded that romance is a biological urge distinct from sexual arousal.

Writing in The Journal of Neurophysiology, the scientists from New York and New Jersey said romance was closer in its neural profile to drives such as hunger, thirst or drug craving than to excitement or affection.

However, as a relationship deepens, the neural activity alters slightly, and in some cases primes those areas involved in long-term attachment.

The research helps explain why love can make someone feel euphoria one minute then anger and anxiety the next, or prompt out-of-character behaviour, such as compulsive phone calling, serenades and yelling from the roof.

full article ... author BENEDICT CAREY

This one's for Dad

If this does not make you cry, then what is the last news story that did?

Backpack

This is rather interesting especially if you're an obsessive list maker like me. :::tilts head::: I hear a certain someone laughing... be quiet!!

http://backpackit.com/examples/


(Found it on Dooce)

Memorial Day

Soldiers, like Sgt. David Fisher and Private First Class Nathan Brown, and their families are the reasons for Memorial Day.

Please take a moment to read about them.

Bloks

Guess what my son and I spent a good chunk of today building?

This

...except, this website is slightly out of date, because on the box it said that mine had 780 pieces. They also upped the recommended age to 8+ but they're kidding themselves, there was no way he could do it alone. Maybe if he was 12.

***

We went to the Country Drive-in for dinner which is a classic around here. You walk up to the window to order your burgers, fries, etc, and there are huge picnic tables all around the place. It's mobbed on a summer evening.

We were about 7th in line and this chick about 3 people behind me actually whipped out her cell phone, called in an order, and smirked over her shoulder at us as she walked toward the second window(where you pickup your food). She actually SAID "I'm not waiting in this line" in a very smug tone. Obviously she was in a hurry, because she left her house looking like something the FUG girls would scrape off their shoe. Geez, comb your hair and put on a top that fits you.... So I summoned up every Karma god within earshot and muttered "Please, please". Everyone around was talking about what a jerk she was. She stood there right in front of the window with her purse on the ledge kind of tapping her foot. Grrrrr.

The kids working inside must have been on to her because she ended up waiting m-u-c-h longer than she would have if she'd just stayed put. It was with great delight that I sauntered up to the window when our number was called and said OH so sweetly "would you move out of the way please? My food is ready." Mwahahahaha. It was at least another 10-15 minutes before we saw her walk to her car. Glorious.

I don't know beans....

Check this out. It's a giant bean. Who thinks these things up?

Yesterday I went mini golfing with my son because they had a special reception for all the kids who made their First Communion last weekend. Then they let the kids out of school. (Helpful if you work... uh, I need ANOTHER day off...)

We swung by my daughter's class first to see if the teacher would let her go but she more or less said "Hi" and in a subtle way let me know we should get lost, she wouldn't be joining us. :o)

I was looking at some stuff on the wall outside the class because they hang up the children's work. They had written pieces titled "My favorite person". I was trying to find B's because I knew she wrote about my sister. So this guy L. was standing there with his son looking at them too. (R. also made his first communion and was free for the rest of the day). R starts reading one girl's story and it is about her Mom..... and how she died a couple of years ago. He's asking me what the words are and I'm telling him (things like "cancer") and I'm thinking "Oh, this is so sad!!!"

L. mumbles "I didn't see this before now" and I realize that once again I have failed to connect what is actually going on around me. I do this all the time and I hate it. I had forgotten that R.'s sister is in my daughter's class, and so I'm realizing the guy next to me is hearing for the first time his son is reading this piece that the daughter wrote about their deceased Mom.

L was actually crying a bit and I just felt so horrible. I don't really know him at all and I didn't know what to do, so after the kid was done reading I made this lame guesture of ruffling his little buzz cut and touching L's arm and saying "well I guess we're going to go, you take care now. " So lame! I couldn't scrape up a better sentence. I wanted to say more but the guy has actually remarried (I think the Mom died 3 years ago) and the new wife was coming down the hall so I figured maybe it was best to excuse myself.

Oy vey.

So off we go to mini golf, and now I'm thinking about children missing their moms, so basically if Dan had said "Let's go to Disney" I would have said "get in the car, you're on". On the first hole I shot an 8 and thought "this is going to be a very long day". I got my act together though. Around the 6th hole I thought I had forgotten to write a score down because I had actually started writing too high on the little scorecard. (I'd scan it to show you but damn Filebin is still down. Eff you all over again, hackers, and thanks JV for esssplaining it to me.) So yes, I can not even keep score for mini golf correctly. You have to laugh about things like that. He ended up beating me by 1 shot on the first 9 but the back half of the course is much harder. I realized I was ahead of him by 11 shots when we got to the last hole so I deliberately hit it very hard several times in all different directions. Shot a 12, and we tied. Who says I don't love my baby? I will completely shame myself at mini golf for him.

The sun is out. At least, I think it's the sun. I've forgotten. It's a great big yellow ball and it's warm. I'm going to sit out in the sunshine and be all sentimental and stuff.

Dear Internet and Hackers

(with apologies to Sarah, who does these letters so much better than I ever could)

You suck.

I click on ONE thing to try to look at some online cards and you screw me over. Why??? Now I can't see the pictures on my own blog. Filebin won't even talk to me without trying to install spyware on my PC. I can't see Johnny's pictures. Shamus has a picture too that I can't see. WHY???

If you're so smart can't you cure cancer or do something else USEFUL? Eff you.

Stupid people

Shamus will tell you, I email him articles like this all the time. Well, not all the time, now that my employer is going to start to pull reports on what websites we surf during :::ahem:::: work time. OOPSIE.

Well... anyway, just go read this.

Action!

Ok, everyone. I'm faced with something nearly unimaginable to me: for the next four days I have FREE TIME. NO OBLIGATIONS.

I think I need to rent a couple of good movies for Saturday night. It's been raining here for days so a cookout is pretty much not an option. There's a guy next door lining up all sorts of animals.

Bear in mind, I literally almost never go to the movies. In the past couple of years I saw Chicago, (Richard Gere just can NOT sing), Shrek(s) and Incredibles with my kids, and National Treasure. (Sin City too, I'm still queasy....)

So -- recommend away: What 3 movies should I rent for this weekend?

I'm looking for something that is:

• Action / suspense (but not yellow smushy blood and extreme violence like SC)
• NOT a kid's movie, thank you!
• Not an outright Chick Flick -- love stories are fine but pick something my spouse won't hate - make it a subplot, not the main point of the movie.
• (edited to add....) Comedies are always appreciated

Thanks!! Who loves ya, baby?

A little ditty about Jack and the Chevy

or, I love a parade....

I marched in my very first parade ever last night. How did I manage to be almost 40 and never be in a parade? No band, no girl scouts, no softball, ..... etc. Just the way it is, I guess.

Every year on the Wednesday before Memorial Day our town holds a big parade (we have oh, about 12 fire trucks, it's madness....) with marching bands and so on.

My son's baseball team is sponsored by the town's youth council so all of the teams were asked to be a part of the parade. We live in a very old, historical town and so Memorial Day events are pretty much attended by the whole town. (good time for a crime spree, no?)

So I was nominated (by Mr. C) to walk with Dan, because Vioxx being off the market and all, it's just not a good idea for the Mr. to spend two hours walking down the middle of the road. I kid you not, it took forever to do this parade because we were near the end and we waited at various points on the route while every band and chorus did a song or two at the review stand. Halfway through I reeeeeeeeeeeally wanted a nice cold beer.

Before the parade I was standing with Son's coach who looks remarkably like Billy Joel (now). He's a nice guy and when I looked at the vintage fire truck, we got to wondering how old it is, and so being a fireman himself (it's all volunteer around here) he went to find out.

It turns out that this is a 1940 Chevy, and Jack (my neighbor's stepfather) drove it to the firehouse from the dealer after the sum of $3,500 was paid. Hard to imagine, it was built 65 years ago.

We had a nice ceremony down at our town's memorial park. The part that always gets to me is when Taps is played and the Gold Star Mothers lay a wreath at the monuments. (If you don't know, a GSM is someone whose son was killed in action. These ladies dress in white and are driven along the parade route in a nice convertible and I always make my kids pay attention when they go by and I try to explain to them that their son went away to fight a war and never came home and so we should show proper respect for them.)

The color guard for the ceremony was two WWII vets, two Vietnam vets, and a veteran of the Korean war. I took my son's picture with them and they were quite cool - one guy at the end let Dan hold his rifle for the photo. Then he said to me "Pray that he never really needs to carry a gun" and this big ol' lump in my throat got even bigger. The Uncle Sam Chorus doing God Bless America pretty much finished me off.


So whatever you do this weekend, please remember the soldiers who fought for us in wars past and those who are in our armed forces all around the world right now. Whether it's the heroes of the past or the present, we owe them and their loved ones a debt of gratitude.

Shoes?

My son and daughter came home all torqued up about something today, and it amuses me.

Apparently there was a New Art Teacher today. "Nat" apparently does not have much experience with the elementary school set. She gave them the assignment to draw... a shoe.

:::frown, tilting head to side:::: A shoe, kids? Yes.

Now, I'm sure you could tell a college class "Draw your shoe" and they would all be inspired to go off in their own directions to produce creative, detailed pieces, some of which actuallyCOULD be called "art", perhaps even by Mr. C who really only likes the scenery-type pieces.

But listen, Nat. We are talking about age ten and under here. They need to be a little bit more grounded, and not the way that a shoe is, either.

My daughter pulled forth from her backpack a sadly wrinkled piece of paper. In the lower left corner is a blob of black chalk that vaguely resembles the shoes she wears with her school uniform. There was no detail, because those pieces of chalk are pretty clunky. So, not only did Nat give a really R-A-N-D-O-M assignment, she really didn't give them the right tools.

Hmm, kind of sounds like my office.... nevermind.

I looked at the picture, and looked at my daughter. She looked disgusted with the work. Even though I was just this week accused of being able to put on an Emmy-worthy act (by ex- Friend recently mentioned...) I knew that no amount of talent would make her believe that I thought this was an awesome piece.

So I took a different approach. I reminded her that sometimes things don't come out the way we want them to. It doesn't necessarily mean that we should give up art. (Though perhaps Nat needs a new career. I'll wait to see what next week brings.) I told her that if I was her teacher, I would want her to think about what she could have done differently in the picture and maybe what type of tools would have been better - like clay or at least a pencil or fine point marker. And that sometimes you have to re-do or redesign something in order for it to come out to be something you like.

I don't want her to inherit a particular trait of mine that I wish I didn't have. If I try something and don't do well at it pretty much right away, I dump it for something else. I don't like to fail at things and I don't tend to dig in and sweat a little in the attempt to master something I find difficult.

Art can be fun and too many people think "I have no artistic talent" when really they could if they found the right media to play with. Perhaps I should find something I'd like to do, but I'm not really very good at, and take a few lessons. Any suggestions?

I guess that's the question for today - is there anything you'd like to learn to do, either as a hobby or a profession, that you're currently not really very good at?

I'll ponder that and get back to you. Or perhaps it will be my little secret. Fear of failure, you know.

At any rate - she threw out the picture. It was a shoe, for crying out loud.

Adventures

Sit back. Close your eyes. No, wait, open them so you can read.

Name 5 fun things you would like to do in the next year. Don't overthink it. Just rattle off a few ideas.


Here's mine (since I have not really been answering my own questions... the party was lovely and I wish you all could have been there)

1. Ride a parasail at Lake George

2. Sit right up front for the filming of a cooking show (Carmine or Emerill)

3. Sing onstage during a concert by a major recording artist. (Backup, I'm not talking duet or anything...)

4. Visit the Oval Office (...and kneel under the desk. Hah! with no one in the chair of course. I just want to know, Monica, what were you THINKING?)

5. take my kids to a MLB game

Overkill

I got off the highway today and thought something "BIG" was going down. There's a four lane bridge I use to get over the river to my neighborhood. The roadside just before the bridge was dotted heavily with flashing red lights. Since the site typically has several tractor trailers doing annoying "back up and turn" maneuvers during rush hour, and has been the site of more than one major arson incident, it was safe to bet something significant was going on.

Nope.

They were checking inspection stickers.

There were FIVE state trooper cars and two from the local cities on either side of the bridge. OK, so about a dozen cops, checking stickers at 2:30 in the afternoon. You must be kidding me.

I felt like saying "Is there anybody watching the rest of the capital district right now?" but I thought a smartass remark like that would in all likelihood not end well for me.

Yes, another question

When you have a party, do you clean up that evening or the next day?

Iamsotired.

Gnight!

Phone message

Hey - I totally forgot to give y'all a phone message. My bad.

You have been invited to speak at a graduation ceremony tomorrow.

What is your topic? (humor, world events, advice you'd give....)

To my lurkers and new visitors

I love all of these answers to my questions of the day. Now I am perhaps talking to myself, which is odd, but I am so happy to see new faces in my blog. Where are you all coming from? I am so happy to see you. Right now I happen to be drinking my second rather large glass of wine so please forgive me if I am incoherent and corny. Frankly, I don't give a damn. (ha!) When I started telling people my blog name, I had misgivings. I was all "oh no, what if they think it's stupid?" but now my attitude is "If you don't like my blog, I don't care. Go click somewhere else. There's plenty of Internet." But apparently a few people do like to stop by and see what I have to say, and I'm happy about that.

Incidentally the glasses have dragonflies and butterflies hand painted on them which I love. My "baby" sister, who is 30-something and totally fucking awesome, gave them to me. Seriously if you don't know her, she is amazing and you are missing out.

I severed a friendship yesterday. End, finito, kaput. It was a decision I had to make, and I have been avoiding taking action. My sister, who is a good and true advisor to me, wanted me to be honest with this person. I was afraid to do it. I don't like confrontation and conflict. Hello! Understatement. But another friend helped me see that this person was hurting me, more than being a friend to me, again and again, and that life is too short to allow people to treat me this way. So now it is done. I am sad, but I am going to move forward. The dread is gone. Mr. Carly and the others I've mentioned are in my corner so it will be OK.

Seeing so many new names commenting in my blog is touching my sappy little old heart more than you guys know. Yes, I'm a dork. So what? When I started blogging, which is completely the fault of Shamus and Erik, I have spent so much time on this that I could absolutely kill you guys, for a while I thought "what if I blog and no one will read this?" But that crazy little Sitemeter tells me you are coming here, more and more. I'm not sure why... but thank you.

And Virgil, one smartass remark and I will totally kill you on Monday. Just one word, and you're dead. Dead I tell you!!!

What's canoe with you?

I was watering my garden and trying to get my mind off of something and I turned my head because a moving red object caught my eye.

It was a canoe, being carried up the middle of my street by two boys who were about 13. Except they didn't know how to carry it - I tried to tell them (while laughing hysterically right in their faces) that 'you should flip it up and over, and carry it on your shoulders.' "We have too much stuff in it" was the reply. I asked them where they lived and it was two blocks away (uphill, seriously.) It was funny because it was such a random thing, and they had so far to go, and they would make it about 10 or 20 feet, put it down, and try to pick it up a different way. If the Mr. was home I could have thrown it in the Explorer. But oh well.

My daughter came out on the porch, looked at them, saw them drop it, and snorted. "Losers."

It was so CLEARLY something Shamus and Virgil would do when they were that age.

Thursday's Question

You found a time machine... you can go back to two people. Who, and why?

Goodbye Riddler

Actor Frank Gorshin, the impressionist with 100 faces best known for his Emmy-nominated role as the Riddler on the old "Batman" television series, has died. He was 72.

( story on CNN )


If you missed my admitedly very lame story about getting lost in his house, well, the nuts and bolts are that when I bumped into him he was very nice about it. Rest in peace, Mr. Gorshin.

Old memories, dusted off

Today something reminded me of a place that I used to retreat to when I was in college. It was a little courtyard tucked away in the brownstones on the campus, with a small but beautiful garden that included a fountain. I would walk across campus, through a wrought iron gate, and down a long corridor with brick walls on either side, and then I'd be there. I would spend time sitting on the park bench, just listening to the sound of the water falling, looking at the flowers and trees around me. It reminded me of "The Secret Garden" which was a book I loved as a child.

Highschool was hard, because of all my nerd-ocity (I was salutatorian of my senior class). There were times in college when I still felt like an odd duck. Not so much so as in high school, but it was discouraging at times to be surrounded by young women who had far more material means than I could EVER imagine myself having. It was a private scholarship full of very rich girls, and smart little old me who was riding a bunch of scholarship money as far as I could go. My clothes didn't even remotely measure up, because I never had a dollar to my name. Thank god for 50 cent bagels at Bruegger's. I lived on those.

While some girls were picking out features for the new car Daddy would be buying them for graduation, I was wondering where I'd work. When would I ever get a car ? (and I knew it wouldn't be new). But I knew that the scholarships were my only shot at someday having at least a modest amount of moolah of my own so I stuck it out, and from time to time, I went to the garden to feel the peace there.

I had one job interview before graduation. It was in Boston. I stood on the pier and looked out into the ocean and tried to figure out whether this place was my destiny, my future, whatever. It didn't feel right. I felt very much alone. The salary was low (18K) and I knew I'd have very little money for rent, furniture, forget a car. So I didn't know if I'd be able to go home often, and I knew home wouldn't come to me. My parents don't "DO" vacations or even weekends away. In the end I did get offered the job, but I told them the truth - I was not ready to relocate, but thank you very much.

I wondered today what my life would be like now if I had taken that shot. I decided that sooner or later life always works out for the best, and I think I got lucky with the way things are now. I have a wonderful family and some awesome friends.

I took this photo years ago... this is my secret garden.

My answer, and a new question

Last night I was I thinking I'd like to grab either sister or my best friend and go back to Vegas, because the CMA's are on tonight. (They're live from Mandalay Bay which I walked to on my last day there, and oh my god, did my feet HURT by then.... ) Of course, if my sister and I went, we'd meet a bunch of cool people but then get thrown out for laughing at Mr. Renee Zellweger. Troll.

New question:

You are any character you want to be, in your favorite movie.

Who are you and why?

A topic....

If you could get up tomorrow morning, hop on a plane, in a boat, a car, or on a dogsled (ha!) where would you go - and who would you want to bring along?

Busy, Busy

'xcuse me while I get ready for a party I should have been working on for months, ok?

Talk amongst yourselves.

Gutter ball Mom

Ugh.

It started out simply enough. The school sent home a flyer about the Mother-Son bowling party and I filled in our names and sent it back with $$.

Today, we set out in the car. I had seen Joanne (the mom in charge) last week, and said "Where is that again?" and she mentioned the name of the bowling alley. "That's over in Yorthtron, right?" "Yes, 5th ave". No problem.

We set out with about 10 minutes to get there, which was plenty of time. My little guy was holding my hand and he was so excited that he was practically skipping (in a cool, almost 8 year old and I'm no Momma's boy sort of way) when we crossed the street to go into the bowling alley.

The *empty* bowling alley.

Very empty. Houston, we have a problem.

I asked the bored teenager at the counter, "is there a school party here today?" and got a shrug. "No, maybe at Hilltop." Hilltop would be 15 mintues away. #$%^&*#$. I had no one to call. Most of the other Moms I know at school are friends of my daughter's parents, so they would not be as likely to attend.

Got to Hilltop. Realized I was in the once again starring in the "action feature" The Only Car In The Parking Lot. At this point my son sighed and quietly said "We'll never find it now." You can not imagine what a little knife to the heart it was. Yay, mother of the year, right here.

At this point I got pissed, and determined to find this steeenking bowling alley even though I had no idea where I was headed. I brainstormed, and had an idea, but it was a long shot. I called Mr. Carly, who I knew had this guy Pete's number in his cell phone. Pete's wife was likely to be at this thing. About ten minutes later I got the info I needed. It was 10 minutes away from the first bowling alley I had gone to, but in the opposite direction from Hilltop. A few blocks more down 5th ave than I had gone the first time, and I would have been there. Dammit!

We got there almost an hour late. Frankly, the thought of one less hour wearing those shoes (ewww) was fine with me. My consolation prize was Joanne saying to me "Well there you are, I wondered where you were, it's not like you to flake out and forget something like this." That's a positive statement, right? I think it is. I'm going to run with it. As a bonus, we were that much closer to the lukewarm pizza.* My son forgave me as soon as he saw his friends, but this just is NOT a scrapbooky sort of memory.

*Oh yeah, I bowled sucky too. By the 7th frame I had a whopping 50 and they mercifully cut the game short for the aforementioned pizza. Esssplain to me why people love this game? (Marco?)

Birthday Boy (?)

Happy Birthday Dennis Rodman!!



Notes:

1. This picture was copied from the brilliant website Go Fug Yourself. They are the. funniest. girls. ever. Go visit them (the link is always in the list on the lower right of this page)

2. I am going to wear this outfit when *I* turn 44. Oh yes I am.

triskaidekaphobia

...tomorrow being Friday the 13th, I shall be hiding under my bed all day. Have a good weekend, you guys.

Happiness in a mailbox

I got my 200 page catalog from Fire Mountain Gems today. Awesome. Lots of dragonflies - one of my favorite things. I've been meaning to make some more jewelry and this will motivate me.

In the middle of the night

The mood tonight is pensive.

It may have something to do with lack of sleep (up till 1, awakened at four by volunteer fire sirens, check on the boy who hates the wail of those sirens in the middle of the night, back to bed but up again at 6). As a rule, I don't do well without enough sleep. I'm not one of those people who can get four hours per night.

In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
From the mountains of faith
To the river so deep
I must be lookin' for something
Something sacred I lost
But the river is wide
And it's too hard to cross
Even though I know the river is wide
I walk down every evening and stand on the shore
I try to cross to the opposite side
So I can finally find what I've been looking for

It may have to do something to do with that person who appeared briefly for dinner and then left, for yet another meeting. The kids were absolutely off the wall this afternoon and it sure would be nice right about now to have a great big bathtub, a la Calgon. Candles all around would be nice. Do people really get to do that, or is it an advertising scheme to get us to buy bottles of bubble bath and pretty candles that we will never actually have the time or energy to use?

In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Through the valley of fear
To a river so deep
I been searching for something
Taken out of my soul
Something I'd never lose
Something somebody stole
I don't know why I go walking at night
But now I'm tired and I don't want to walk anymore
I hope it doesn't take the rest of my life
Until I find what it is I've been looking for

Today I caught the little guy jumping off his bed, onto a heap of blankets & quilts on the floor. It reminded me of the time when I was his age that my brother and I jumped off my dresser onto my bed, over and over. My parents were out for a little while. Whether they were out in the yard or Out Somewhere, I'm not sure. But when they came in, they found the breakers tripped, and my nightstand lamp was identified as the culprit. To be precise, the plug had broken off in the outlet (from the bed smashing against it each time we jumped onto the bed. We "damn near burned the house down" according to my mother. So, my son probably has me to blame for the jumping gene. He is seven and a half, and fearless. I did the "Auntie S (our family's very own R.N.) really doesn't like extra trips to the hospital" speech (rendition number 4,812), but my heart wasn't in it. So, I guess this one is "I'm tired" too.

In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Through the jungle of doubt
To a river so deep
I know I'm searching for something
Something so undefined
That it can only be seen
By the eyes of the blind
In the middle of the night

It's awfully quiet around here tonight. Considering I have only 9 days until a Big Party at my house, I should be more motivated. There should be Things happening.

I'm not sure about a life after this
God knows I've never been a spiritual man
Baptized by the fire, I wade into the river
That runs to the promised land
In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Through the desert of truth
To the river so deep
We all end in the ocean
We all start in the streams
We're all carried along
By the river of dreams
In the middle of the night*

Did you ever wake up, and just listen to the sounds of the night drifting in through an open window, and feel like absolutely no one else is awake? It's just not morning yet, you can't get up and start your day. I hate that feeling - somehow you're frozen in this moment alone, and you can't fall back to sleep to escape it. That's how I feel right now. Tired and lonely. Is it Thursday yet?

************************

*Billy Joel , of course. I think he probably wrote this knowing that it wasn't working out with Christie, because the song before it is about not being with your children as much as you want to be. But truly his best song ever, is "And so it goes." Go, click links, read the lyrics.

It's far too nice out today

I have a reserved parking space for the month of May. I won it by participating in the monthly 50-50 raffle at work. So, knowing that I can zip right in and out whenever I want, I have been going out to lunch frequently. I got one of the spaces on the upper parking deck, and I work in an office park with plenty of wooded areas and so I see all sorts of really nice "spring" scenery when I go out to lunch.

And so, I now interrupt this blog (more or less) to bring you "Carly high on Mother Nature, and not the kind that requires a bong, either"...

The weather is much too glorious for anyone to be doing any "real" work inside.

The sun is warm, and perfect for napping on someone's shoulder on a great big soft quilt in the middle of a park. The breeze is blowing the clouds around and it's not too hot, and not too cold, Goldilocks.

Wear some jeans and your favorite old t-shirt from the best concert you ever saw. No formal business suits and impractical shoes. Go for the sneakers - but then kick them off and stretch out with your barefeet in the grass. Look at the flowers. Count the birds.

Talk about little things, or big things, or nothing at all. It's OK. Just soak up as much springtime as you can. Drink wine (don't get caught....) and eat cheese and crackers. Don't litter. Watches, cellphones, and pagers are forbidden, .... why, they are evil, I say!!

Call your boss and say that something has come up and and you won't make it back to the office today.

Can you tell I have completely come down with Spring Fever?

NOW I remember...

Of course...

Every few days for the past month I get offers in the mail to buy something like these items. One is a set of statues. One is a "collector's plate"... whatever... They're priced at well over $100 apiece. He must be spinning in his coffin(s).

It is really grating on my nerves and I am Catholic!! I think I am receiving it because I was a fool and bought this for Mr. Carly to celebrate his new job.

Are you all getting all of this junk mail??

I had *something* I was going to blog

Now, ....what the heck was it? Anyone?

Hmmm

My ring is repaired and ready to be picked up... guess that means I have to start behaving, huh? (What?!! I'm kidding.)

I have discovered that the cable tv in the bedroom, which is NOT where my beloved DVR resides, provides me with free porn. I'm researching this only for the purpose of auditing my household finances, of course. As in, if my kids/babysitters watch something they shouldn't, will I know? The answer is a big fat no.

Well, whatever I was going to blog - and it was funny - is gone. I am currently stressing over the following: move, add on, or stay put?

The most simple solution is obviously, stay put. However that would require me to throw away half of everything we own. This house is bursting at the seams, and one of these days we'll carry in just ONE more piece of junk mail, or a magazine, and the whole house is going to explode in a shower of clutter. I have too many hobbies, my kids have extremely small bedrooms and a bunch of toys, Mr. C has too many files and folders and so on.

I've done the dumpster thing. It's very liberating to throw away real junk, "slightly" broken stuff, and things you KNOW that no one will ever buy at a garage sale. We give away useful stuff, of course, because for example I feel lucky when I can buy a new couch, and so I offer mine up to the Karma Gods.

The central issue preventing me from remaining "as is" would be the following: my husband's parents really need to not be living in their own house anymore as they are both approximately 80.

So - do we add on? I don't want to stick them in the back of the house. I want them to feel more like we have a duplex, and they have a decent front door of their own and a cute little house. Little, being the key word. That way Mr. Carly can mow one lawn, plow one driveway when it snows, etc. We can deal with roof and furnace and other nonsense.

The worst combination appears to be the route we might have to take. Yes- move AND add on. Oh, the horror. Boxing up everything I own, dragging it somewhere else, UN-BOXING, and all the while trying to make decisions on a construction project, and help my in-laws move their posessions. Eeek. THREE house closings, by the time we finish. Sell ours, sell theirs, buy something new. Wait - is it FOUR closings if you put on an addition on via home equity loan? Or perhaps we would do that from the sale of their house... oh, it gives me a headache.

Anyone have a good lottery ticket? I almost bet on that damn horse that went off at 50-1 too. Almost, but didn't. Grrrr.

In My Daughter's Eyes

In my daughter's eyes I am a hero

I am strong and wise and I know no fear

But the truth is plain to see

She was sent to rescue me

I see who I wanna be

In my daughter's eyes

In my daughter's eyes everyone is equal

Darkness turns to light and the world is at peace

This miracle God gave to me gives me strength when I am weak

I find reason to believe

In my daughter's eyes

(James Slater)

No cheesecake for you

I just realized... I used to be the birthday cake girl for the department when Johnny, Shamus and I were all on the same team and I think we missed Johnny V's birthday.

Happy Birthday Johnny - sorry, I don't have any spare cheesecake for ya, I'm not making one this weekend. It looks like you have your hands full with the meatloaf anyway. (Freak.)

Hallmark Blues

Picking out a Mother's Day card... sounds easy, right? Well, for me it gets very discouraging when I read card after card, about being the most encouraging, supportive, loving Mother and Happy Memories and each time think "well.... not so much."

That may make me sound like a total bitch. :::shrug:::: It's hard to feel warm fuzzies for someone who is not warm and fuzzy. Such is life. It's not like I was abused, or anything like that. My mother is just not an affectionate person. That sounds fairly benign until you experience it. I couldn't for any amount of money recall a time when she has ever said she loves me.

I believe she does, despite various stumbling points. When I joined the track team to try to shed my nerdy - salutatorian-dorky vibe, she bet my father that I wouldn't finish the season. Um, I don't think I was supposed to know about that, huh? Lack of information is often a problem - she once visited me (and my 3 day old son) on her way to the doctors -- she was going because she thought she had chicken pox -- she never mentioned that DURING the visit to my house and she still can not understand why I freaked out when she phoned me with the good news that "Well, I don't have chicken pox".

I try to take her as she is. She's not a hugger. She's not a mushy, heart-on-her-sleeve person. (So how did I end up that way? I *DO* tell the people that are special to me that I love them. It's important to me to do that.) The things that she does are not truly malicious. They're usually unintentional instances of bad judgement. I believe that.

And yet I can't help wishing she were a little more like those cards. I would love to have a Mom that I could go out with for a day of shopping and lunch. It'll never happen. She hates the mall, she hates eating out. She would rather sit in her garden, which is gorgeous, but she doesn't really want very much company, thank you very much. My mom is not a "drop by anytime" sort of Mom. Maybe that's why I am always thrilled to have people come over - one of my favorite things to do is have friends sit at my kitchen counter and have a drink and some snacks while I make something for dinner for us all.

So in the end, Mr. Carly usually comes through for me, finding a card that is not too mushy and yet not so sterile that I feel guilty (why, why do *I* feel guilty about this??) I have a firm vow that he has witnesssed, that I will never be like this to my kids. When I leave for work, I hug them, no matter how late I am. When they come home I am usually here and I hug them. They have a problem? I drop everything. Want 3 friends over? Invite 6. I want to be that safety net, that support and encouragement, backing them 100%.

I guess that's really all any of us can do, is take the things we wish we could change, and try to make them better for the people we love.

Frasier's back

Every year there is a crane on the pond near my house. This sucker is huge...last year he stood in my yard and was so ginormous that when I noticed him I thought is was something my neighbor rigged up to play a trick on us.* Then I opened the window to get a better look and his wings unfolded -- with a big WOOOOSH he started flapping them and lifted off like a damn cargo plane. I almost fainted. He looks something like this. So, I need to start carrying my camera around, because I could have gotten a great shot of him this morning.

Plus, today I saw a limo parked in our office park. Along the side was the name of a skydiving business. On top was a dummy designed to look like a skydiver whose parachute did not open (... and so he crash landed on top of the limo and was lying there motionless). It was funny in a strange sort of way and made me think of Johnny.


*My neighbor is a smartass. One year Mr. Carly hadn't started mowing the lawn yet for the season and Bob had mowed his a couple of times because he was newly retired. He came over and mowed the letters MOW ME into our lawn, five feet high. It was awesome especially from the upstairs windows. We got him back by getting a lifesized Santa from one of those catalogs like Harriet Carter that are all full of random stuff. We stuffed it with newspapers and tied it to his lampost on the 4th of July. It was posed so that it looked like Santa was waving at everyone driving by. So, we do stupid little stuff like that to each other every now and then. it's just about time for a new prank.

I humbly beg the masters of the genre' to give me some better ideas.

Another gift I don't want for Mother's Day

And I quote:
"Pantai Luar - Island of Dreams at Kimberley's

Visit our exquisite Oriental Bathing Suite and slip away to Eastern Asia, featuring the only Oriental bath in North America. This heated wet table is an electric lift that is anatomically designed especially for this massage and body treatment. This wonderful alternative to traditional massage is performed using two heated dumplings made up of the world's highest quality oils, fresh herbs, coconut and limes that give out a warm and exotic fragrance. Through various massage techniques these heated dumplings are passed quickly over the body. Then as they cool a slower movement with more pressure is applied to the muscles releasing the herbs and essential oils onto the skin. Defective cells are deleted, existing cells are activated, and new cells are produced leaving your skin glowing and relaxed. One Hour ...$150.00"



OK... a heated wet electric table and I'm supposed to RELAX?? Water+electric = dead Carly

And, the whole dumpling thing is weird too.
Give this gift to someone you love by clicking here

Happy Cinco de Mayo

You may send me gifts, but not this, please. I'd really rather have a corona with lime or a nice margarita.

He WILL have this nickname forever

I don't know whether to laugh or cry either, lady ....

Burrito Boy

(thanks Tay- you know I love this kind of story!)

Springtime, and the Blogging is easy

So, today I went for a walk around this place right up the road from my office park. I got a rather suspicious memo right before lunchtime, that read between the lines approximately like this: You Are About To Lose Your Job, We're Outsourcing Your Asses. This has been happening about once a year for the past few years. So rather than stew too much about it, I figured what the heck, "get away from it all & go for a nice walk in the park". (I blame what's his name and his post about running barefoot in the park. )

I made a pretty respectable attempt at convincing myself that things were probably going to be fine and once I calmed down just a little bit I started to enjoy the walk. Not bad, trees and such. Sunshine... for most of the walk. Then of course because I was out trying to ENJOY the sunshine, it got cloudy and I was cold. It even started to sprinkle for a minute, dammit. So I got in me effin' car and went back to work.

Anyway.

I like to people-watch wherever I am. As it so happened I saw a couple along the way that inspired me to write this entry. Not really sure why, I guess it's the whole "spring is finally here and everything's blooming and everyone is in love" thing. I'm so glad winter is over.

They were sitting on a bench up ahead of me on the path that I was using. A bit younger than I am now, and from their business attire it seemed as though they too were on their lunch break. Like me, outside enjoying a warm sunny day, sitting and talking.

I noticed him take her hand in his, and she looked startled for a second. She relaxed after a moment though, and she shifted slightly to sit a little bit closer to him. I almost wanted to high five him and say "You're SO in, buddy! She likes you too!" but that would have been SO tacky. There was something about the way he was holding her hand and gently stroking her fingers that made me get all chick-movie sentimental and think "awwww" in various permutations. (Shop Dungarees will puke if he reads this...) He was looking at her, and saying something about a pretty face, and she was blushing, and smiling. Looking pretty damn happy about the whole situation, to me. Bitch. No, I'm just kidding. Why is it women get jealous of other women so easily?

( I saw a lot before I got completely past them, because I was wearing my Super Dorky Dark sunglasses so the couple couldn't see me staring at them and being so nosy, and besides they were pretty much uninterested in anyone around them. Which would include moi.)

I remembered the excitement of a new attraction. How you look forward to seeing that person, and spend the hours in between dates thinking through everything they said and did the last time you saw them. The giddy, half-drunk feeling of euphoria you carry the rest of the day after you spend time with them.

They looked pretty happy to be sitting there together, and it sure beat anything I had planned for my exciting work afternoon(take the project plan from hell that was dumped on me, and try to manipulate it into something that makes sense). But it was nice to know someone was having a great lunch.

Lucky girl.

Weather

Explain to me:

morning commute - sunny
midmorning peek out the window - sunny
lunch*- raining
midafternoon drive home from work - sunny
now (late afternoon) - sunny

*the only time I could have been sitting outdoors and enjoying the sunshine-- not that I didn't enjoy lunch, mind you... I did... but some sunshine would have been nice.

Hungry Girl

No, not me...

I'm going to spam myself for a second here but some of my friends will like this:

Hungry Girl

try the whack-A-snack game... I got 7600 points.... so it is easy!

Fathers, Daughters, and Dancing

I run a little Father-Daughter dance every year for 250 - 300 people... the girls of our school, and their dads.

Here are things I learned this year:

1. Some but not necessarily all Southern people think these things are icky. Some but not necessarily all Northern people, like moi, think they are cute little things where Daddy takes his girl to a dance where the following things happen:

• She dances with her friends and ignores him most of the night.
• He hangs around with other bored Dads wishing the committee hadn't moved this event from the Ukranian-American club, because they had a bar there and at least one game would be on.
• The last song is uber-syrupy "Butterfly Kisses" and every girl dances with her daddy and he feels sad because she is growing up so fast. Carly meanwhile tells the DJ "Man, I hate this song" and he frowns at her.

2. If I say "I don't think we need the extra sub platter because our numbers are down from last year" the person in charge of subs will get it anyway because I was not forceful enough, AND she will go to a different place and not even get that last platter for free like we did last year. She will also neglect to tell them to "hold the onions" causing 110 little girls to say "ewww" over the course of the evening.

3. Dads will come running when they smell fresh coffee, because for many of them this event is a snoozer, but they come anyway because they don't want their daughter throwing a tantrum if she misses the goodie bag. The goodie bags, though "awesome", will put you over budget when combined with that extra sub platter, because we didn't sell enough tickets to pay for all of this stuff.

4. You can set the deadline for ordering tickets to be April 15, so that you can budget more effectively. Go ahead. You will still receive daily phone calls up to the day before the dance asking "is it too late to get a ticket?" Since you don't like making little girls cry, you will say "No, it's Never Tooooo Late" with a forced smile.

4. It is better to move the five foot high stacks of chairs that were jammed against two of the marked EXIT doors, than to go rip the custodians a new asshole and explain fire code violations to them. They won't dare tell you "we really didn't want to have to clean the bathrooms in that hallway so we blocked the doors".

5. Having your high school best friend do the photos is good because she won't give you a hard time when your husband is the only one who doesn't have his form filled out.

6. Not having your wedding ring on (see previous entry, I knocked a stone out of it) is bad. One of the divorced daddies from out of town will ask for your email address "so I can mail pictures of our kids to you" since the girls are pals. The DJ will also pat your ass after making a joke to you and make it seem like an accident, causing the need to look around to make sure this was not seen by Mr. Carly or any of his pals. Because, well, riots at a dance are bad especially when some damn custodian jammed the doors closed.

Happy Anniversary, M.H.!

Can't imagine my life without you on my list of friends!

Thanks SD

I just downloaded Microsoft AntiSpyware (free and easy to use, according to John) and so far I have no spyware on the new pc... thanks John!

Something to be

I know I have zero credibility when it comes to recommending music, but it may redeem me that I know one good thing when I hear it... Rob Thomas. Seriously, it's an excellent album. Song #12 is the best, just piano and very moving lyrics. The bonus is that Rob smacked down "Mimi" as noted in the linked article.... it's like THAT, yo!

Spring is really here. The tulips are blooming. Everything's green.

The stupid animal of the season appears to be squirrel. (Title earned by being the most frequent species seen as roadkill on my daily commute.) I wish I had my digital camera with me because I'm not making this up - I actually saw a squirrel who was mushed, other than his tail, which was sticking straight up off the pavement into the air. I swear, it was the funniest thing if you're warped like me.

The NICU/March of Dimes scrapbooking project is going well - I got paperwork so I can get my background check done and be able to take pictures of the babies myself. Yaaay! I really want that badge. It means so much to me to be able to do this for the parents. Hokey, but true -- I went the other night and one of the very first moms I worked with was getting ready to bring her baby home. B is so adorable and I even got a copy of a photo of him, and digitally edited it for her (to remove oxygen tube from his face/nose in the photo - it came out very good for a first attempt) I edited another photo of a baby with much more equipment (breathing assistance) in the photo and retouched all the bad stuff away. So, the new PC will be used for more than spam and blogging. ;-p

Hey Johnny V!

I finally found a creature that eats lunch faster than Johnny Virgil. If you have never dined with him, he absolutely inhales food. Not in a messy way, just blindingly fast. (Shamus got to Panera's well before us the other day, and Johnny still finished his lunch before Shamus did).

Anyway, I present to you (courtesy of my daughter's 4th grade weekly reader) the Star Nosed Mole - go look at it, it's really UGLY in an awesome sort of way.

So help me

If anyone buys me this for Mother's Day, I will hurt you. It's SO tacky. Pink?? Pink. Hrrrmphh.

Stupid People Tricks

Did you know that if you pour a glass of soda, and it foams WAY up, and looks like it's going to overflow, you can stick your finger into the foam and that will probably keep it from spilling all over your counter? My kids love it.

It's magic.

(I'm sure Johnny or someone will contribute helpful information about surface tension and whatnot. )

Move it along, nothing to see here folks, this is all I've got today.

How to really waste time at work

... go here:

http://www.staplesdeskapprentice.com/main/

and play the game... catch falling office supplies in the Desk Apprentice.

Yes, I have no life, motivation, or shame. So what? I'm happy. It's a computer game I can actually DO.

Has anyone ever noticed my posts are always 39 minutes after the hour? No, I didn't think so... get it, 39, going on 40??? Who's your favorite dork? :o)

Busy, busy...

Well, I have been working on finishing things. Ha! The computer is completely switched around, but I will never be done with all of my little projects. I have eliminated some of the paper monster that threatened to consume my desk.

For my one friend who noticed, the Bravenet map is gone because no one was putting flags on it!! Oh well. S'ok.

I've got a school dance to do this weekend and it is not going well --not enough tickets moving so far-- so I'll be busy with that this week. (Method of driving me crazy, #4,852 -- staple your check to your ticket order form. I love that. Really.)

Yesterday I took part in a March of Dimes walkathon. My sister ( a NICU nurse) and I walked with an acquaintance of mine, her husband, and their baby. I can't post a picture of their little girl here, for various reasons, mainly it's not my kid, but this child is truly very pretty. I believe her father is Korean -- she's got his face (exotic eyes in particular), and long flowing brown hair from her mother. She is going to be a drop-down gorgeous woman someday. (I said that to her father, phrased more like "she's going to be so beautiful when she grows up" and he said "I think she's pretty now." WTF? I was trying to compliment him and he was all stuffy with me. Wierd. Whatever. I guess my complimenting skills fell far short of my intentions.)

My sister is an awesome nurse and did a fab-u-lous job taking care of this little bitty baby when she was in the NICU. To know that she was once a tiny little three pound baby, and now she is a healthy, normal toddler, (and SMART, this kid is 21 months and can READ the names of colors and animals)... well, that's what it's all about, people. It's amazing what they can do for preemies.

It was a good walk - about an hour through a wonderful park with a pond, some natural wetlands, some woods, and so on. Sorry people in Erik's neck of the woods, but it was sunny and sort of warm (a little windy). Go on, hate me because I have good weather. Ha ha!

My sister made a scrapbook for another friend. Two years ago, this woman had twins, but lost one after the baby lived a very short life, all of it in the NICU. The Mom had asked my sister to take some of her photos and make a memory book of the baby. (She saw the bereavement books my sister has been making over the past year for the hospital to give to families who lose their child. They include handprints, footprints, locks of hair, photos of baby in bereavement gowns that are handmade and donated, notes from doctors and nurses who care for the baby, and so on.) I saw the book my sister made for this lady, and I was practically in tears reading it. It's beautiful, with all sorts of elaborately designed papers, poems, notes that the Mom had written on the backs of the photos, and of course the photos of the tiny little baby, who was so very ill. The captions were about the short life of the baby, the medical challenges she faced, and the experiences of her family (ex: big brother on his birthday seeing the baby sister for the first time, the baby's baptism, and so on) My sister wrote an emotional note to the family - she had cared for this baby too.

So anyway, after the walk my sister gave the friend her book and we went inside the check-in area so that she could look through it indoors. I fully expected this woman to sob while looking through this book. I was a little nervous about being present for such a heartbreaking, private moment but I didn't really figure out how to politely vanish, and truly neither of them seemed to mind that I was present. It was so different from what I expected. I'm not going to do very well describing it, but here goes. She was so thrilled to have such a beautiful book of her daughter. Each time she turned the page, it was another special photo, and memories that are important for her to hold on to. I was touched by how happy it made her, to have this special piece of art honoring the life of her little girl. She couldn't wait to show her family - it really was gorgeous and they were all delighted too. I am 100% positive that this book will be a cherished family keepsake for years and years to come.

I am so proud of my sister!!

More News

Every time I read the news today, I get annoyed.

Take this for instance. Grocery shopping? Are you kidding me? You leave an item worth $850,000 in the back of your car so that you can go GROCERY SHOPPING?

I need to lie down.

Is this "news"?

Scientists solve unpopped popcorn

I just don't think so!! Where can I get a job researching something so lame?? I think I'd be able to take MANY two hour, two-drink minimum lunches with my favorite people. (That would be you, my little Bloggy friends.)